Thread: This is me! (Management diary)

It might be lactose intolerance, yes. I hadn't thought of that. I normally have unsweetened soya milk instead of cows milk, because it's lower GI, but hadn't thought of the milk sugars in the packs. Actually finding Exante packs quite high in carbs altogether (am tracking on mfp) which is surprising. Atkins recommends no more than 20g carbs a day in induction, until you're well into ketosis. Exante packs have 21g carbs each!!

Anyway it's all academic as I lapsed yesterday. Found myself really really wanting to share the birthday cake I was serving (I'm not usually a cake person but DH had bought a couple of different ones and one had a marzipan layer cooked into it (a bit like you do with simnel cake, so it goes all fudgy and almondy nom nom)

That led to other things.

Well I'm only human. Trying to apply the 80:20 rule, which I know isn't the best approach to a vlcd but I think it's good for my mental health! Also doing some Louise Hay work... Read the book ages ago but never really applied it. Doh! There's a very serene and balanced lady at group and she swears by it.

I am willing to change!
I love myself!

Sounds weird, doesn't it? But it's what i need to do to get to the root of why I try to get comfort from food.

Big big binge last night :-(

Hmm

I am willing to change...

Wobbly again today. Hoping my slim and save packs arrive today so I can refocus and get back in the zone. Had a bad weekend food wise. Not sure what's the matter with me. Will start again tomorrow if the packs arrive.

Had some good meetings this morning so feeling a bit more positive. Hubby says my packs have arrived, which is good. Not hugely looking forward to dinner this evening but I guess it will be fine. Have downloaded a really cool book: fifty ways to soothe yourself without using food. I've only just started reading it but it's like the author is inside my head! Someone understands!! Brilliant!

Just need not to give up and to keep learning. I am willing to change!!

I'm getting more and more into the Law of Attraction stuff. At risk of sounding like a nutter... All I can say is that since I found out about it two years ago, I've got my dream promotion, started driving again, got to a size 12, and been headhunted for an even better paid job (but don't think I'll be pursuing it as I'm happy where I am)

I've also, though, found that thinking 'weight management is difficult' has brought me difficulty and struggles with my weight. Whatever we focus on we experience more of. So I need to focus on the fact I'm still a size 12 (just!). And have kept four and a half stone off for over a year. And every day am learning new strategies and finding out what works for me.

Oh Spangly I think you're right. I was inthat place where I kept thinking I can't do total because.......... So of course I haven't been able to do it.
So now I'm going to try what you're saying. The power of positive thought rather than negativity.
Mind you had a sneaky WI this morning and just under what I was 2 weeks ago so feeling pleased having got back with it. Now just need ketosis fairy.
Well done on right thinking and have a happy day

I got into the power of attraction recently too. I read Steve Pavlina's blog and forum - look it up...well worth a read. Anyway - he believes that if you allow good things to happen to you, they will. This is especially true when it comes to money. I spent a couple of weeks just thinking about money coming to me and amazingly, i just kept finding new sources of income everywhere I looked. Now i don't for a minute think this was just my luck fairy, but it was the fact I was putting myself out there, taking opportunities and just looking for what I needed rather than simply saying "I will never have enough money".

It is great to hear you talking about all the amazing things which have happened to you in the last few months. What a journey you have had. Sometimes I feel like that too. I quit my poorly paid job and started my own business as a writer, I have more clients than I can handle and have doubled my income, I have reached the weight I wanted to be and improved my marriage like you wouldn't believe and I am generally a better wife, Mum and friend to everyone. Best of all i like myself a whole lot more. Not bad for the old mid-life crisis. At least I didn't just decide to have an affair or buy a sports car!

Thanks for the recommendation, nzmegs. I'd heard of Steve Pavlina before but never read any of his work.

Had a much better day today and I do believe it's all down to positive mental attitude! I actually had to give some disappointing news to the majority of my team today (20 out of 27 people) and although it wasn't a pleasant task, I did it, and haven't resorted to self-defeating behaviours.

Brilliant news that you're back on track, rosie. I haven't weighed myself yet and will be taking a few days to get back on the programme, but I'm cautiously hopeful!

Well, after a few weeks of quite frankly messing about and making myself miserable one way and another, I'm sorting myself out. Feeling very chilled out as I've been for a swim before work. Get me! I know that exercise really helps my anxiety levels - much more so than caffeine, sugar, flour, alcohol and all the other nasties I've been ingesting of late! So... sipping on a peppermint tea and feeling more "centred" than I have in ages - which is all the more remarkable given that I'm due on (tmi sorry! )

Been reading a few blogs that look helpful. One in particular, Stop Being Sweet No Sugar Blog: Sustainably Get Off Sugary Sweets, Without Apologizing is brilliant - totally tells it like it is, no nonsense etc. Just do it!! STOP BEING SWEET!

Thanks for the blog link. I love these types of blogs too. Bit obsessed at the mo actually! Try this one: Fat Head - Blog site for the comedy-documentary Fat Head - very funny as well as being informative. I am working my way from the beginning which is taking some time as it is a few years old.

Was struggling a bit with crooked thoughts just now... "go on... you've been so good all morning... just have one..." etc etc and what did I do? I walked down the four flights of stairs in our office, and walked back up again. Feel much better. And chose to stay abstinent. Hurrah!

I have my new group starting tomorrow evening. I have missed going to group. I think it helps me to stay focused.

Been a taxing day at times, but nothing I couldn't handle. Day 1 almost done. No nasties in the car to tempt me on the drive home. One more shake before I leave work and then a pack when I get home. Sorted. And swimming tomorrow morning.

Thanks for the recommendation of FatHead, nzmegs - excellent blog!

Well done Spangly on having almost whacked that first day on the head. Keep with it. Hope you like your new group tomorrow as well.
I had a bit of a disaster day yesterday, basically if it didn't move I eat it. I stopped counting at 2790 calories last night. Still a little control in that I did record what I eat. Anyway put that famous line underneath yesterday and back on plan today but I have made the decision to move to Lite from tomorrow and see if i can manage that any better and feel healthier on it as well.
Have emailed LLC with decision and she did say previously that I could continue to go to the same group but I haven't yet heard back from her. Also I did say that I do not need to buy any packs tomorrow as I have more than enough to last me the week on Lite so i don't know if she will let me go to the group tomorrow or not.
Not the end of the world if she doesn't I suppose, but I will be a bit disappointed in her if she does take that attitude but she is entitled to of course.
So will have to wait and see how this goes as never done Lite before. Not sure I can control it but never say never.
have a happy day tomorrow.

Well done on drawing the line, Rosie. Sometimes that's the hardest part: giving yourself permission to make mistakes and to remember to learn from them. You did really well to note everything down. I went into serious denial on MFP so I've loads of blank days where I couldn't face writing it all down!

Today is going well thanks. I've done my morning swim again - hurrah! Thing is, it just makes me feel so CALM afterwards. And I think that's the feeling I've actually been searching for - but using sugar/carbs/alcohol/caffeine as ways to get there, which doesn't work. Well, alcohol does, up to a point - except it's numbness, not calmness, and makes me feel low the next day (being a depressant). I do think this is going to work for me. Anyway - I've committed to trying it for a week and seeing how I feel.

Still haven't weighed myself. I'm worried I'll use my gain as an excuse for unhelpful behaviour... which would not be good!

Spangly - exercise is key to staying focused and stress free. I am the same. I currently walk my daughter to and from school and have a long walk at least 3-4 times a week. Even though my daughter is old enough to walk on her own - I won't let her. I just need those 20 mins on my way home to relax before my day starts. it is me time. The extra walking is more for fitness - but it improves my day on every occasion. The hard bit is sticking with it rain or shine. You may need more than a week to feel like the habit has stuck - so maybe commit to a month before giving it up. They say that 30 days of doing something is enough to form a habit.

I also find that remembering that I am allowed to eat is a great idea. Rather than putting off a pack and feeling hungry - just eat it when you are hungry and don't let that gnawing hunger creep up on you. Always have a pack before you eat anything else - it will ground you before you tuck into anything you shouldn't.

Hope today has been good!