Thread: Minerva's all grown up...

So sorry to hear you're struggling.

How about trying to plan your eating/calorie count? Not in a try and eat the minimum number of calories kind of a way, but in a set yourself a realistic amount (like 2000cals a day) and work out how you are going to meet that. If I'm doing a lot of exercise I need to eat around 4500 cals/day to maintain. I went through a phase of finding it really difficult because it gave me a major excuse to eat more, eat too much, eat uncontrolled... Now I plan it because that way if I'm having a bad phase I can plan to eat all the calories within very set meal and snack times. If I'm in a more controlled phase I know I can let myself graze and just keep a running total. I can also just adjust the target to suit the training plan for the day and whether I'm trying to lose or maintain that week.

Could you try planning to bulk up your meals to take away the need, and therefore the excuse, to do uncontrolled snacking?

I've not got any great advice Min. Just wanted to send you some support hun. Have you thought about trying meditation when to help you through this difficult time. It sounds like you need to escape to somewhere safe, possibly inside yourself to find some calm. I hope it passes quickly.

Thank you girloutdoors for you advice - however, counting calories is extremely damaging for me. I can't keep to a limit because I will keep undercutting, and I know I will try to undercut to below 1200 calories per day if I know the values.
Instead I just reason with myself and am setting up boundaries of not eating anything more than what I serve myself on the plate. No 'grazing' without someone else in the room (so that it doesn't develop into secret eating). Keep reminding myself not to make excuses to eat - so far, it's working. I just need to remember not to get into "mindless" picking at things, which is fairly easy if I get into the habit again.
Thing is, I'm really feeling a little desperate too - I want to buy some nice clothes, feel good... but nothing fits in the shops. I went into New Look today, tried on their size 8's, and all were ... a very bad fit, loose, baggy in places... Skinny jeans look terrifying on me, I have a bit of a sticky outy belly, but death stick legs... absolutely flat chest, I honestly disgust myself, probably more so than when I was fat - this is all very alien to me.

Ugh... I'm a mess. I do indeed need to escape somewhere, but ... I don't know where. I have no place to go, nothing even inside that I can run away to... I'm not a very social person, so being around people all the time is very, very hard and stressful. I can't even go for a walk because it's so bloody cold outside - and the cold makes me want to cry... it's painful.

*sigh* ... I'll get over it. I have patience. I'll get there. I know it will be ok.

Thinking of you Min

All will be well my friend, just take it one day at a time. Moving is so stressful so just take a little bit of time out each day for you and try not to be too hard on yourself.

Jez
xx

Hugs Min. You have come so far. Keep a hold of yourself and make sure you have some time for you. Thinking of you at this stressful time. Always really hard living out of boxes and in someone elses home on an uncertain temporary basis.

Thinking of you. xx

((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))) )
daisy x

Seems we all have our good days and have our bad days... I suppose the key is not to let the bad days spiral out of control - and never to give up trying. --

Not to the point of starting a new diet every week - that's the wrong attitude. I have tried not to let the feeling "Oh what the hell, I'll start again tomorrow" take hold. Why put something off until tomorrow which you can do today? Limiting the damage should start with the realisation that something has gone too far. Don't get me wrong - sometimes I DON'T stop - but only in instances when I'm genuinely enjoying something very, very much. I DO stop on most occasions when I am gaining NO SATISFACTION at all anymore.

So keep self-critical, keep positive, and most importanly take every day as it comes - every day is an opportinity to show yourself that you CAN achieve; it should never be a race to "make up" for another day's losses. You screwed up? So? Put it behind you - otherwise you'll forever be chasing yesterday's ghosts.

Originally Posted by Minerva

Seems we all have our good days and have our bad days... I suppose the key is not to let the bad days spiral out of control - and never to give up trying. --

Not to the point of starting a new diet every week - that's the wrong attitude. I have tried not to let the feeling "Oh what the hell, I'll start again tomorrow" take hold. Why put something off until tomorrow which you can do today? Limiting the damage should start with the realisation that something has gone too far. Don't get me wrong - sometimes I DON'T stop - but only in instances when I'm genuinely enjoying something very, very much. I DO stop on most occasions when I am gaining NO SATISFACTION at all anymore.

So keep self-critical, keep positive, and most importanly take every day as it comes - every day is an opportinity to show yourself that you CAN achieve; it should never be a race to "make up" for another day's losses. You screwed up? So? Put it behind you - otherwise you'll forever be chasing yesterday's ghosts.

damn straight couldn't agree more

All of your posts are full of wisdom and deep thinking and everything you are describing you've felt (eg deep hunger, control issues etc etc) is exactly where I 'm coming from.
Thank you again, I will keep looking out for more of your posts to help my path.