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Thread: The TOTM Support Group

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    Exclamation The TOTM Support Group

    WARNING: The following chat is a frank exchange of experiences and questions about menstruation that some may find a little too intimate. It is a discussion about that time of the month where people are honest about what they go through and how they suffer. Please do not continue to read if that is something that is not helpful for you as we don't want to put you off your dinner!



    In the Christmas goal thread a few of us have been sharing our experiences and it struck me that once that discussion is over - we'll lose it. It also came to mind that there may be other people who would find it helpful but don't realise that it's there as they aren't members of the Christmas goal thread or that we may be discussing it around people who are either male and don't always want to know or those who don't feel comfortable discussing it or reading about it. It seemed a shame for it to disappear given that most of us ladies are going through it and a lot of us seem to suffer in one way or another - be it with pain, the amount we lose or how we are confined to bed or the sofa for a day or two.

    I have found that as people lose weight too, it does sometimes become even worse for them. We want to be able to discuss it - and exchange advice and support that may prove life changing for some people if they find a course of treatment that works for them through recommendations of others who've been there!!! It IS a big problem and it DOES need support from others to keep us going. So come on in, make yourselves comfortable. Hot water bottles and pain killers for all!

    Here is the discussion so far:


    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberlina80 View Post
    Put 1lb on this week, which I definitively didn't deserve as I was on plan 100% but our bodies are weird things! Might be TOTM but not sure.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bigbear View Post
    Sorry to hear that Kimberlina, how frustrating when you've been so good!
    I am sure you will be rewarded again soon if you keep sticking to it. TOTM plays havoc with weight, so maybe you'll get a got whoosh next week?
    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberlina80 View Post
    Thanks Claire. the weird thing is I hope it is TOTM as my periods had stopped when I put all the weight on, so having them again is a sure sign that I'm eating healthy again. I'm not going to let it bother me - I'm in this for the long haul!
    Quote Originally Posted by MelonCollie View Post
    I'm also another TOTM gainer, also with 1lb. I tried really hard and I was super upset in group yesterday, had to excuse myself to the loos. Was the first time I've ever gained when I was really good. I never knew how horrible it could feel.
    Change in attitude today though, as I know it can only be down to TOTM and not doing anything wrong. Hopefully it'll show in 2 weeks. (I'm right at the beginning so sods law will have it still being here for next weigh in!!)
    Also had lovely support from people here on my food diary. That made me blub more than the gain! TOTM hormones are horrible!!

    A question for the ladies : Has your time of the month got worse, since losing weight? Mine are far more frequent, far more crampy, and far more hormonal! I think it's my body getting back in check and being more fertile, since I rarely had a period at my heaviest (I think I had one proper one in 3 years time).
    And to think I always thought before that women over exaggerated
    Quote Originally Posted by PrincessSparklePants View Post
    Mine were always heavy, evil and painful before I had the mirena coil put in. It lasted 2 and half years (and made me so cross and angry and lose my temper over the smallest of things at all times of the month - not just TOTM.) The night it came out it was a literal change just like that - i barely lose my temper again!

    It was worth going through it imo though as it did lighten my periods to a "normal persons" period. I was close to fainting each period, being sick, having endless cramps and shooting pains and had to spend the first couple of days mostly in bed despite being put on medication for it. I've bled through a sunbed mattress in 2 hours - looked like a massacre had happened.

    Now a year on, I still have the lighter period (I was scared I'd go back to normal when the hormones wore off) and have less period pains.

    It's definitely worth going to see your doctor and asking about medication or a form of contraception that will hopefully help. Don't suffer in silence - it's a HORRIBLE thing that has a real affect on your life.

    (I do use a mooncup now btw - has also changed my life!)
    Quote Originally Posted by snowbryneich View Post
    My TOTM have always been horrendous both mood and pain wise and also due to heaviness but always very irregular due to my weight - I used to have one a year if that and I have had four or five this year. I also use a moon cup and find it easier to deal with as a) the moon cup holds more and so I'm less like to leak and b) my periods have been shorter if I use the moon cup which means less hassle even if it is a bit weird.
    Quote Originally Posted by S_J_B View Post
    I'm very lucky my periods are generally regularly & although heavy aren't painful & I would say I don't get too hormonal although those around me might disagree!! I too love my mooncup - so much better than tampons. Sorry any men reading all this lady chat
    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberlina80 View Post
    I'm very lucky - when mine are regular (definitely linked to healthy eating), they are very light and pain free. I usually have one day, a few days before, where I'm emotional. I cry at anything - Eastenders (!?), the news, a song on the radio etc. then I'm back to normal! I must admit, I have, in the past, scoffed at women who say they've gained due to TOTM but it really does do strange things to women's bodies!
    Quote Originally Posted by MelonCollie View Post
    Just had to look up what a mooncup even was! I'm guessing I can just buy some at the chemist? (Men don't image google and scroll down.. I got to see one that had been used! Was quite shocked at that lol!)

    And yeah I'll deffo go to the doctors, I think I will need to. I've had to take some really strong pain killers today it's that bad.

    I was told before contraception wise if I want to stay on the pill I have to stay on the one I'm currently on until my BMI drops to 35 or under. I'm a bit scared of other things like the coil as I had so many problems with the implant.. Something I can just suddenly stop appeals so much more to me.

    Maybe I should just say to the mister no more until he puts a ring on my finger That's probably the best contraception out there haha!
    Quote Originally Posted by snowbryneich View Post
    Boots sell mooncups not sure all chemists do. They take a bit of getting used to but really are good. When I found out about them it was because someone on a newage livejournal I used to follow was posting links to art done by someone who painted with her period blood - I decided it was an investment because this was before I was so big and my periods were more regular and so heavy and long I used to spend a fortune on pads and tampons. Was definitely worth it.

    GP's can definitely prescribe something that will help - I used to get mefenamic acid when mine were at their worst which did help a bit which is both a painkiller and meant to make them lighter so might be something to ask about.
    Quote Originally Posted by PrincessSparklePants View Post
    I have to admit that I bought mine online on national womens day (mine is a femmecup rather than a mooncup - but it's the same) and wish I'd bought the 2 pack set because it's turned out to be amazing, if they do it again for this coming March I'll definitely be purchasing another! There's also Divacups and soft cups and all manner of others so have a good look into it

    Oooh and also get some sterilising tablets or liquid so you can sterilise it each month. TBH I don't bother with boiling it like they say - I just use the sterlising liquid - (i think it's miltons?) and let it do what it does whilst I shower. It doesn't take any extra time whatsoever and I find it so much better for me - everyone is different though

    There's no risk of toxic shock and you can leave it in for up to 12 hours so on a working day there's always an alternative to rushing to the loo every few hours when you can't do so. It's a bit messy but then what isn't when it comes to that time of the month.

    There are 2 sizes for all though - make sure yours is right one as recommended for you.


    Mooncup Menstrual Cup | UK
    Femmecup - The future of sanitary protection!
    Mooncup
    %3Daps&field-keywords=mooncup&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Amooncup
    Quote Originally Posted by hershey View Post
    Do you think they would be suitable for super super heavy periods? I go through a lil lets ultra tampon and a pad in 2 hours. And these are the UK's most absorbent tampons. I've often wanted to try moon up but worry it wouldn't hold enough. I really do lose a hell of a lot more than a teaspoon or whatever they say it's supposed to be. More like a pint! I get anaemic every month from the loss of blood xx
    Quote Originally Posted by PrincessSparklePants View Post
    I really do sweetheart. I think it may help you explain a bit better to the doctor too as you'll be able to measure the volume too. It doesn't absorb the blood - it 'holds it' which is a bit much for some people. It's up to you if you think you'd be up to being able to change it - maybe if you go ahead try every say... 2 hours at first - then a bit more?

    I don't know if it's just me - it could be conjecture - but I found it lessened my flow after the 2nd time.

    I used to have mine like yours pre-coil (and they seemed to stay lighter too without the coil in 1 year on which really surprised me) and I feel your pain HUGE hugs love!
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  2. #2
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    Great idea hun, love it!

    Even though (touch wood) my periods appear to have finished, I can really emphathise with women who have really heavy ones. I have had endo most of my life, and even at the end I was going through 10 or so ultra night pads every day for seven days; with lots and lots of nurofen!

    Kym I loved your description in your thread of your totm sheets I had totm knickers, sheets, towels and so on - but leaks still happened, how mortifying!
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyfelsham View Post
    Great idea hun, love it!

    Even though (touch wood) my periods appear to have finished, I can really emphathise with women who have really heavy ones. I have had endo most of my life, and even at the end I was going through 10 or so ultra night pads every day for seven days; with lots and lots of nurofen!

    Kym I loved your description in your thread of your totm sheets I had totm knickers, sheets, towels and so on - but leaks still happened, how mortifying!

    Thank you A lot of us seem to suffer with them being bad or painful or even other issues so I thought we could help each other through it. (especially when we have the blasted totm gains that try and mess with our heads!)


    && Same here, it always seemed to know exactly where to go to make a mess when everywhere else is covered! Bloodyt thing! :P


    (sods law - mine is due tomorrow but I'm bloated like woah today!)
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  4. #4
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    Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!


    .... I think that sums up todays mood :P
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    Sorry to hear that PSP - hot water bottle, paracetamol, mefenamic & tranexamic acid on their way x




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    Thanks lovely. I'm doubly impatient for this period to finish as I'm changing to winter bedding when it does. Bought a new memory foam mattress topper for the bed and new duvets and everything - can't wait

    Hope everyone else is managing well xx
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    OOOhhh let me know how you get on with topper. I have feather bed topper which I love but can only use in depth of winter as get too hot at other times




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    I suffer really bad with mine, have done since I first started (I was 12). I am house bound for a good 3 days every month, I can barely walk and my moods are all over the place. I am very heavy too which is a pain as I'm constantly having to chance every half hour. I remember being at school and breaking down in class because I was in so much pain and just wanted to go home, it was very embarrassing as their were a lot more boys than girls in the class, but it just proved how much it was affecting me.
    I was told I'm anaemic by my GP last October due to heavy periods, got put on iron tablets but it's only gotten worse since then. I really should go back but I feel so silly making a doctor's appointment because I have painful periods, feel like I'm wasting time. x

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    It has arrived the day before weigh in. How nice. No wonder the losses have been so slow this week x
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    Mine have got more painful since losing weight, I put it down to my uterus not being quite as muffled in my chunk so its now making its voice heard! Oh and it really hurts!

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    Quote Originally Posted by S_J_B View Post
    OOOhhh let me know how you get on with topper. I have feather bed topper which I love but can only use in depth of winter as get too hot at other times
    Will do hun. Mum has the memory foam topper (but a different one) and has for a few years. She does say it's v comfortable


    This totm has been my heaviest and most painful for quite a while. Had to activate a couple of those handwarmers and use them as hot water bottles at 3am this morning as it woke me and was killing!

    I would definitely go and see your doctor hun. It's NOT a waste of time - if you can find a way of controlling them then it is definitely life changing!
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  12. #12
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    i put 2lb on this week coz of my damn totm! i havent updated my diary with it as ive been really upset by it i know this happens to me alot when its totm but i just cant accept it! its just so unfair

  13. #13
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    At my worst pains, the doc inserted an implanon into my arm - it's a 1-2 inch long metal thing which is oestrogen free and used as a contraceptive for larger ladies - but a major plus side was NO periods!

    Official website for IMPLANON® (etonogestrel implant) 68 mg
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyfelsham View Post
    At my worst pains, the doc inserted an implanon into my arm - it's a 1-2 inch long metal thing which is oestrogen free and used as a contraceptive for larger ladies - but a major plus side was NO periods!

    Official website for IMPLANON® (etonogestrel implant) 68 mg
    OOH. Oestrogen free, you say? I wonder if that would work for me. I cannot take the pill or anything else oestrogen-based, because I get blood clots from it. Had one lodge itself in my lung when I was about 21.

    Oh, dangit. Just looked at the website. Should not use implanon if you've had serious blood clots. Guess that rules me out, then. I got all excited for a minute, because having no periods would suit me just fine.

    I'm another who gains around my TOTM. And it is so, SO hard to stay on plan during that time as well. The rest of the month, I can control my eating just fine. Not even tempted. Then TOTM comes around, and suddenly I want to eat EVERYTHING.

    I am DREADING TOTM this month. Sister-in-law's wedding is on the 4th of October. I'm the bridesmaid. I get really heavy, really painful periods. Guess when I'm due to start...



  15. #15
    Little Miss Christmas
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    Apparently there is medication that you can take to delay it - apparently it's from the doctor or places like boots have it. It's not cheap but it might help? x
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    Goal: Lose 6st 9lb before Christmas (to 20st)






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