A Diary of Disillusionment

So, one month into my journey and I'm feeling quite low so I've decided to start a diary on here to motivate myself.

My regime is:

Mon-Saturday: 1200 cals, 1 hour of swimming, 30 mins walking.
Sunday: No exercise, ~ 1400 cals.

In the first few weeks I lost 11lbs and was very pleased, but for the last week it has STS and I'm becoming frustrated and de-motivated (already ). Sometimes I give in and go over my 1200 by having a few chocolate Hobnobs or some toast, but I'm still swimming all the time and I set myself a goal to lose 3lbs this week. When I see no change on the scales despite my swimming I get angry and weigh myself every couple of hours, and it ruins my mood for the rest of the day. Also thinking about goal is painful, how many stones I have left to go, why I let myself get like this, etc, etc. I'm just feeling fed up.

Today I've eaten some beans on toast, a pear, and chicken with mushrooms, green beans and peas. It comes to about 780 calories and I'm so angry that I'm not allowing myself to have anymore. I feel like I need to compensate for the STS. Hopefully when I weigh again on Sunday I will have lost a few lbs and be feeling better! Sorry for the moaning. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I've also realised that I don't drink enough - it's 10.15pm and I've had half a pint of water all day. Going to have another drink and go to bed I think.

Don't apologise for venting, it's normal to go through these ups and downs, and you are doing the right thing not keeping it bottled up.
I was reading somewhere that after 6 days of the same exercise the body becomes used to using those muscle groups and you need to switch it up a bit. Increasing the distance or intensity or switch to a different form of exercise for a day or two could help?

Keep drinking the water! It flushes out the system and aids weight loss, keeps us feeling fuller and makes our skin look brighter - I'm sure you already know all that but it's worth repeating!

You are doing everything right, keep going and I'm sure you'll get results. )

Hi,

I'm going to be a little brutal in this post. I don't mean to offend or anything along those lines, I do just want to help...

Instant_Karma said:

So, one month into my journey and I'm feeling quite low so I've decided to start a diary on here to motivate myself.

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Thats honestly the best thing you can do. Getting those feelings out not only helps at the time but reading back, understanding motivations and what sets you off, that stuff is priceless.

My regime is:

Mon-Saturday: 1200 cals, 1 hour of swimming, 30 mins walking.
Sunday: No exercise, ~ 1400 cals.

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On your exercise days you'll be burning upto 600 calories with your current stats. Meaning your NET calorie intake could be as low as 600 per day. Which is insanely low.

I would advise you to up your calorie intake so that you are aiming to NET at 1200 calories, not eat 1200 calories. Meaning you'll probably need to eat at roughly 1400-1700 per day. Because:

In the first few weeks I lost 11lbs and was very pleased, but for the last week it has STS and I'm becoming frustrated and de-motivated (already ).

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Thats great, it really is. However, the first few weeks loss is a mixture of fat loss and glycogen store depletion, but mostly the latter. Basically, when you start restricting, you're body uses up it's energy stores which is fat but that's not the primary store, the primary back up energy store is glycogen. Glycogen requires a lot of water for storage, so those first weeks when you're using up those stores you drop an abnormal amount of weight in a week - that's the water leaving because there's no glycogen so the water isn't required. After that you start burning fat, it's incredibly normal to then have a small plateau while your body adapts to the new energy sources.

I set myself a goal to lose 3lbs this week.

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Now here's the crux - your body can only burn so much fat per day. There's actually a limit (unless you're doing a ketonic diet, which I'm not getting into here (but like a VLCD, Exante, Lighter life or a non VLCD like Atkins). That's why doctors advise to not lose more than 2lb per week. They do that for two reasons:

• It means you have to eat at unsustainable levels (making you grumpy and frustrated). To lose 3lbs per week you have to create a deficit of 10500 calories in that week or 1500 calories per day - If I did that I'd have to eat 1000 calories a day and trust me, I'd be grumpy. PLUS it slows your metabolism down, meaning when you hit your goal weight you have to eat much much less than everyone else to STAY at the goal weight. Essentially, you're setting yourself up for failure. Doesn't sound like a cool plan to me.
• Once your body has reached it's limit for energy from fat, it starts using muscle. You want to keep your muscle - it helps burn fat. p.s. the heart is muscle - think about that for a sec.

When I see no change on the scales despite my swimming I get angry and weigh myself every couple of hours, and it ruins my mood for the rest of the day.

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Two things from this;

1. For goodness sake stop weighing yourself. My weight changes by almost 6lbs during the day regardless of if I even eat anything. It's perfectly normal for that to happen. Even daily weighing isn't recommended because your weight can fluctuate because of your hormones, what you've eaten/drank, and even if you've been to the toilet! Step away from the scales. Choose one day a week, at the same time and weigh in then. If you have to weigh in daily, prepare yourself for the fact that it will go up and down.
2. When you exercise you damage your muscle, when repairing the muscle the body stores water (like a cushion). It takes a few weeks for that all to even out on the scales.

Also thinking about goal is painful, how many stones I have left to go, why I let myself get like this, etc, etc. I'm just feeling fed up.

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This I do sympathese with you for. Sometimes, it seems pointless because the road ahead seems so long! You have to make it a lifestyle change, not something you're doing for now, it's something you'll do forever. That way the length of road doesn't matter because you're not getting off it anyway.

Today I've eaten some beans on toast, a pear, and chicken with mushrooms, green beans and peas. It comes to about 780 calories and I'm so angry that I'm not allowing myself to have anymore. I feel like I need to compensate for the STS. Hopefully when I weigh again on Sunday I will have lost a few lbs and be feeling better!

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You're kinda making your body do the opposite of what you want it to do by doing that. By restrcting EVEN more your metabolism will slow EVEN MORE, making it even more difficult to lose the weight. Hence why it's so important to eat enough. Eat more to lose more - trust me. It sounds ridiculous, but it works.

I've also realised that I don't drink enough - it's 10.15pm and I've had half a pint of water all day. Going to have another drink and go to bed I think.

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Tea, coffee and soft drinks all count too, so if you can't stomach water drink something else.

Hope your feeling better about yourself today. And please try to take on something from the above because even though you have the very best intentions, you're not helping yourself with your plan at the moment.

Absolutely amazing advice there!

I know its hard to follow though - we expect results right away but it doesnt work like that. I did a VCLD for a month two years ago... I lost 2 1/2 st taking me down to about 16st and I felt so much better for my holiday! Then I got home and within a few weeks of eating normally (like normal skinny person normally) I had most of it back. Within a couple of months I had gained back even more. My metabolism was a mess.

I know it might look like im not a good person to give advice about weight loss.. I am currently trying to get back from my biggest ever but thats because i have made all the mistakes.

Your body doesn't "know" what is happening, it has no concious. It just reacts to what it experiences... as it would have done 5000 years ago. So you've been on the diet a month and in that time youve gone from your normal every day life to heavy exercise and a drastic cut in calorie intake. Your body reacts like you are in a time of starvation. In order to keep you alive it slows down your metabolic rate, and clings on to fat. Unfortunately that is just the biology of it.

I posted something very similar to the post you did about 6 years ago and when i got replies like the ones we are giving you now i became pretty frustrated and angry. You WILL get down to the size you want to be. You ARE doing awesome things with your exercise. You will be amazing! But remember 3lbs per week is 156lbs in a year!!!

Stick with your diary, we are all here to support you!

YOU CAN DO THIS!

Stackhead said:

Hi,

I'm going to be a little brutal in this post. I don't mean to offend or anything along those lines, I do just want to help...

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Thankyou Stackhead. I have read your post a couple of times now, and it makes sense, and I don't find it brutal.
I didn't realise that I could be slowing my metabolism down by what I'm doing.

This morning my Mum found me weighing myself again, exploded and has taken the batteries out of the scales. It's probably what I needed to stop myself, really. Aiming to weigh again on Sunday and then start afresh in Feb and do four straight weeks.

I am going to increase my calories to 1400, as sometimes I still feel hungry in the evenings. I slept well last night, so I'm feeling quite good.

Today my "menu" is:

Breakfast
2 x wholemeal toast with half-tin of beans
Blueberries

Lunch
Knorr crofter thick vegetable soup (double serving)
Pink grapefruit

Evening meal
Spinach-stuffed chicken breast with glazed carrots, green beans, broccoli, mushrooms and baby new potatoes in homemade chicken gravy

Supper
Blue Riband bar (cheat, haha)
Handful of nuts.

It comes to about 1,100 so I'll think of something to add to it, but I've gotten used to eating this many calories so I'm stuck for ideas haha.

Instant_Karma said:

Thankyou Stackhead. I have read your post a couple of times now, and it makes sense, and I don't find it brutal.
I didn't realise that I could be slowing my metabolism down by what I'm doing.

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That's why most of advise to eat as much as possible whilst still losing weight. The more you eat now, the better shape you'll be in when you hit target.

This morning my Mum found me weighing myself again, exploded and has taken the batteries out of the scales. It's probably what I needed to stop myself, really. Aiming to weigh again on Sunday and then start afresh in Feb and do four straight weeks.

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YAY! To your mum! Trust the science, it really works.

I am going to increase my calories to 1400, as sometimes I still feel hungry in the evenings. I slept well last night, so I'm feeling quite good.

Today my "menu" is:

Breakfast
2 x wholemeal toast with half-tin of beans
Blueberries

Lunch
Knorr crofter thick vegetable soup (double serving)
Pink grapefruit

Evening meal
Spinach-stuffed chicken breast with glazed carrots, green beans, broccoli, mushrooms and baby new potatoes in homemade chicken gravy

Supper
Blue Riband bar (cheat, haha)
Handful of nuts.

It comes to about 1,100 so I'll think of something to add to it, but I've gotten used to eating this many calories so I'm stuck for ideas haha.

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You could put some cheese on your beans - a teeny tiny amount would easily add alot of calories or add an egg or butter your bread. Have some bread with the soup? A few extra potatoes with dinner? Wrap the chicken in bacon?

It's so easy to add calories to the current meals you're having without having to force "bad" food down.

Hi there Instant Karma - just popping in to say :wave_cry: .

Fab to see you here, and so great too that you're taking on board all the wonderful advice from these lovely girlies - sensible advice that is tried and tested .

Menus sound good, look forward to hearing more!

Hi LadyFelsham and KateR Thankyou for dropping in. I've never tried a VLCD because I'm too afraid of getting loose skin, plus I love food so I'd rather eat normally and do some exercise, ha.

So today I've done my shopping, cleaned the house, had my swim, enjoyed a long mid-afternoon bath and now I'm fantasising about tonight's evening meal and trying to stop myself snacking. I've made a spicy, sticky Chinese sauce with soy, five-spice, brown sugar, ginger and honey, then put chicken, mushrooms and a few cloves of garlic into a sealed bag to marinate until 5pm. Serving it with mountains of peppery spring greens and some cheesy mash. Om nom!

My lovely Mum has bought me some healthy recipe books and Jamie Oliver's 15-minute meals book to give me some ideas. She is trying to lose a small amount of weight too (around 10lbs) but we like to eat different things so our regime is a bit different. I have updated my stats/ticker with yesterday's weigh-in and I'm feeling energetic and optimistic.

Good luck with your journey hun looks like you have some good advise xxxx

So I need a bit of advice, sorry if this is TMI.

I had an interview earlier in the week, pulled on some new trousers, stupidly didn't wash them before the first wear. They were quite baggy, it was freezing cold and basically my thighs chafed awfully and painfully and disgustingly. From my inner thigh practically down to my knees are two angry, red raised blotches, and the skin feels sore and tight. I've doused myself in medicated talc but I can't say it is particularly working, what should I do? Cream? Savlon? Nappy rash stuff? I went swimming tonight for an hour and it seemed to get worse when I got home. It looks ugly and it makes me feel pretty miserable.

Any kind of moisturiser would do, you've essentially rubbed all the moisture out, so stop using talc (which takes away even more moisture). Layer on some moisturiser, like proper thick and sit with it on for 15 or so minutes then wipe off the excess. Repeat a couple of times a day until it's healed - which will probably take a few days if not a week. :-(

Sudacrem? E45? Something antiseptic?

Sudocrem would probably be best, try to avoid things with alcohol as that could sting a bit. If chafing becomes a regular problem you can get anti chafing gel by Lanacane from the chemist. It works wonders!

Good luck on your journey, some fab advice from the others x

So today I've slathered on the Savlon every 2-3 hours since I woke up, still got itchy bumps on my calves (that area isn't chafed though, so God knows what has caused that) and inner thighs, though it's not as painful. Really REALLY itchy though, can't stop scratching!


Food-wise I've had 2 Weetabix with hot milk, a crumpet and a banana so far. Irish stew for tea at 6.

So hungry I had 2 bowls of stew and another Weetabix. Cals at around 1400 today.

Maybe try some calamine lotion to help with the itchiness. I use it all the time as my skin is sensitive to anything harsh.

Well done on staying low! 1400 cals is great x

Bad day today - 1700 cals, but a very delicious 1700 that mainly constituted garlic bread, enormous pasta dish and orange soda from Ask Italian restaurant :break_diet:
Did my usual hour of swimming though, so hopefully no gains.

I feel woozy, dizzy, and sluggish, as though drunk. No idea why; I've had around 2000 calories today (ate out again, oops) and done my usual swim. I feel like I could keel over and everything aches.

Oh dear sounds like you've got a cold or flu coming on - i hope you're staying in bed, young lady! How's the itching? Sounds like you might have had an allergic reaction to something?

Strangely I've had really itchy inside legs too - but not from new clothes or laundry powder - and am sort of itchy on my arms too.

ladyfelsham said:

Oh dear sounds like you've got a cold or flu coming on - i hope you're staying in bed, young lady! How's the itching? Sounds like you might have had an allergic reaction to something?

Strangely I've had really itchy inside legs too - but not from new clothes or laundry powder - and am sort of itchy on my arms too.

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Hi Ladyfelsham,

No more itching, thankfully - been slathering on the E45 and it seems to have calmed down; I can still feel raised, dry bumps on my calves though. The consensus seems to be that it is varicose eczema. Chafing pain has gone, though it's still red-looking. I've always had dark discolouring between my thighs and under my arms, as a consequence of being overweight, and I'm mortified about it. I'm hoping that it lightens gradually as I lose weight.

Speaking of which, I've had another week of losing only 1lb, and am a bit frustrated but can't complain because I ate out twice and have been over my calorie limit about 3 times. Aiming for a very strenuous week this week, pre-Valentines!