Thread: KD Rambles No. 2 Food addiction and peptides

Originally Posted by D_Q

Makes an awful lot of sense there - gonna bookmark this and keep coming back. Nice one KD

and thanks DQ

[QUOTE]

Originally Posted by Karion Dieting

That's it. But there's more to it than that. You're probably not a shopaholic. You know that desire doesn't mean 'got to have now'. Over the years you've reinforced a connection (for whatever reason), that 'want' means 'have' when it comes to food.

Yup, I get that, can see DD going down same route too

Exactly. This is where it is similar to IE. I do have a number of problems with how some people IE but I'll go along with that one

Not sure I get the IE bit, havent researched it, I know it means intuitive, but my intuitive is different!

Slightly different. It depends if you found it easy to act like that. If you did, then you probably weren't working on the AD. You were using a substitute. Probably riding on the wave of the novelty factor...eating real food...being slim.

Half and half, sometimes it was the novelty factor, and sometimes it was hard, but mainly I was getting off on being slim I reckon

But of course, once the novelty factor wore off, you still had the AD monster to deal with.

Didnt really deal with that one!!!

It's not a case of avoiding the foods, but rather managing to face the desire without giving in to it. As you get better at that, you'll be able to cope with it whatever else happens.

Can you do both, avoid certain things yet allow others??

Imagine being on a battle ground. The enemy is hiding around the corner. You get from A - B without them seeing you.

Of course, they strike when you aren't looking. Now...if you can destroy the enemy (you can tell I have sons), that's when you've really won the war.

So it's not a case of avoiding it. You have to face it. Face the AD and learn not to act on it. Just to accept that AD happens and means nothing more than a desire.

So do I have to test myself?? Is that what you did, ie go and buy a packet of biscuits and see if I can test myself, or just slowly build up to it??

Arghhh!!!!

Ok, so I have the desire to eat, and the desire in my head means need to eat it now, I can get that, yup, no probs, that makes sense, but Im scared that Ill never be able to do it, Im scared that ill never have just the one, or just a handful, yet I know I can do it, Im scared to test it in case I drop an almighty b*llock and trough the lot!!!

Do I keep on fighting, will I win in the end??

But you're going up the plans aren't you Vicky You've got to go up the plans. Don't let this throw you off course with Cambridge.

Anyway, will answer the questions if I can

Originally Posted by canireallydothis!!

Yup, I get that, can see DD going down same route too

Blast! But she's at a good age to 'train'. Lots of good times without food involved etc.

Not sure I get the IE bit, havent researched it, I know it means intuitive, but my intuitive is different!

I think there is a lot to be said for it. I would call myself an IE person, just tweaked. As it happens, people do tweak. Most non-diet methods have a slightly different way of getting to the same point and at the end of the day you have to work it to suit.

Can you do both, avoid certain things yet allow others??

In what way? Avoiding large quantities of unhealthy/trigger foods, yet still allowing yourself to have some?

So do I have to test myself?? Is that what you did, ie go and buy a packet of biscuits and see if I can test myself, or just slowly build up to it??

It's easier if there isn't much in the house, but then you don't get to test yourself much. I introduced things gradually, working through various trigger foods.

Arghhh!!!!

Relax. Nothing to be scared of You mustn't get upset with the AD, but you do need to understand it.

Ok, so I have the desire to eat, and the desire in my head means need to eat it now, I can get that, yup, no probs, that makes sense, but Im scared that Ill never be able to do it, Im scared that ill never have just the one,

Just remember that if you give in, you are reinforcing your AD and vice versa. It really is your choice. You can eat whatever you want. There are no limits. The last thing you need when you have finished the dieting journey is to find you are still having to make food illegal.

You have the choice at all times. Have now and feed the desire, or have later. Eat healthily and feel good, or eat rubbish and feel rubbish

Okay...sometimes we feel good eating rubbishbut not in the long term. Just remember that and make informed choices.

or just a handful, yet I know I can do it, Im scared to test it in case I drop an almighty b*llock and trough the lot!!!

There will be times when you give into the AD, and times when you wont. It doesn't matter. Make peace with it all. Just keep working on it. It's when you try to fight it, rather than just accept it that it gets harder.

Do I keep on fighting, will I win in the end??

Don't fight. Hang on..I've just said that

It's fun. Laugh at it. Don't get stressed. Okay...does that sound too difficult at the moment?

Can you relax into the feeling. Just accepting the feeling, acknowledging it, then moving back into what you were doing?

Last post before bed, I stayed up for your reply!!!

Originally Posted by Karion Dieting

But you're going up the plans aren't you Vicky You've got to go up the plans. Don't let this throw you off course with Cambridge.

Sure am, doing this one by the absolute book, no questions there.

Blast! But she's at a good age to 'train'. Lots of good times without food involved etc.

I should be able to deal with this, she just has that desire to eat.

It's easier if there isn't much in the house, but then you don't get to test yourself much. I introduced things gradually, working through various trigger foods.

Good idea, slow n steady wins this race

Relax. Nothing to be scared of You mustn't get upset with the AD, but you do need to understand it.

Ok, breathe. I was getting a bit jittery, but then as all addictions, its scary when you think about conquering them

Just remember that if you give in, you are reinforcing your AD and vice versa. It really is your choice. You can eat whatever you want. There are no limits. The last thing you need when you have finished the dieting journey is to find you are still having to make food illegal.

You have the choice at all times. Have now and feed the desire, or have later. Eat healthily and feel good, or eat rubbish and feel rubbish

Okay...sometimes we feel good eating rubbishbut not in the long term. Just remember that and make informed choices.

Stored for future reference

There will be times when you give into the AD, and times when you wont. It doesn't matter. Make peace with it all. Just keep working on it. It's when you try to fight it, rather than just accept it that it gets harder.

Understood

Don't fight. Hang on..I've just said that

PMSL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's fun. Laugh at it. Don't get stressed. Okay...does that sound too difficult at the moment?

Nope, after this post Im ready to conquer again, DH has been sat with me while Ive typed this and although Ive baffled him, he has helped me too, and hopefully understands this AD now.

Can you relax into the feeling. Just accepting the feeling, acknowledging it, then moving back into what you were doing?

I can, yes, I really can, Im gonna make the odd cock up, I know that, but as long as it is the odd one, then Im normal!

Right, back to 790, then moving up, and facing my demons, facing my AD chatterbox, and knowing that if I conquer it then Ill get there in the end x

Originally Posted by Karion Dieting

Can you relax into the feeling. Just accepting the feeling, acknowledging it, then moving back into what you were doing?

That's one of the hardest things to do...

Originally Posted by D_Q

That's one of the hardest things to do...

Well, I never said it was going to be easy

Attitude is everything. We often find it hard because we fight it. We think we are depriving ourselves and feel sorry for ourselves.

We make it into such a big deal. That's because we are addicts. It's not such a big deal though if you accept it for what it is. There is no deprivation. You can have what you want, just not at that moment if it's an AD.

It's only when you start doing this and realise the benefits of not making the AD = action, that you see how possible it is. And of course, the more you do it, the better you get

I should add that I didn't invent this way of dealing with it, just tweaked bits.

The first time I had heard of the term AD was when I was trying to give up smoking (once and for all...after millions of attempts). I found quite a few references to it on the net and then an internet friend who had used the same technique to conquer her food addiction. It just seemed to make so much sense.

These are some of the phrases that I copied from the internet some time ago. They were to do with various other addictions, but nevertheless, I could see how to apply it to my own.

The person attempts to rid the AD
The desire returns days or even years later
He resists the returning desire until he can't fight it any longer. Then, since he has no way of coping with the desire, he returns to the addictive behaviour

The person tries to exclude from his consciousness a thought or feeling that is determined to be threatening. It is the most common reason that an individual has difficulty overcoming any addiction

Instead of repression, look for an approach that teaches you 1) how to experience your addictive desires and 2) how to choose whether or not to act on them.

If you learn how to face your addictive desires, you won't have to fear them.

Experiencing the addictive desire rather than repressing it gives you the best chance for the long run because it teaches you how to face your problem rather than bury it.

By learning how to choose whether or not to act on the addictive desire your long term chances of success are improved because you don't have to rely on anyone else but you. You don't need a crutch because you
have something more effective than a crutch. You have the ability to
make your own choices

It's good to challenge yourself. Sometimes you'll find it really easy to beat the AD, sometimes it will be hard. If you feel it getting too easy, you can challenge it. Bring it to the forefront.

For example, just say you decide you will eat your 'snack' at 9:00. You're not tempted at all before then. You could get to 9:00, get it out, then decide that you will actually eat it at 10:00.

That's hard, but it gives you a chance to work on the AD.

Of course, you can still eat it at 9:00. The choice is yours. If you decide to delay it, know that you made the decision.

Hi KD

As you know I am now an avid fan, so am really pleased you've decided to start a new thread (hopefully we'll be able to convince you to carry on after the holidays). Only just got to the new thread, have spent time this morning reading more of your old diary.

How interesting to find that it was through your research for giving up smoking that you found out about AD.

As I've said before I am a smoker and at the moment have no real intentions of trying to give up, I feel I need to do one thing at a time.

I'm presuming you have used this technique for quitting, in which case I hope that if I can master it for weight maintenance, I can then apply it for giving up smoking. I live with an ex smoker, who tells me it's simple...just stop! If only I had the simple black and white mind of my man

Tracey
x

Originally Posted by minilady

have spent time this morning reading more of your old diary.

OMG, you poor sod. I suggest you have a lie down. I've never read it...oh except for as it posted. I dread to think what was going on in my head at that time.

As you might have noticed, I took a few turnings here and there to get to where I am now. Trial and error I really ought to go and read it, but I'm not sure I've got the courage.

As I've said before I am a smoker and at the moment have no real intentions of trying to give up, I feel I need to do one thing at a time.

Agree there! When I gave up, I was quite comfortable with my weight and way of eating.

I'm presuming you have used this technique for quitting, in which case I hope that if I can master it for weight maintenance, I can then apply it for giving up smoking. I live with an ex smoker, who tells me it's simple...just stop!

They don't understand do they

KD, does the guilt go when you face your AD, even when you have had the stuff that your AD is telling you?? Im rambling again!!! What I mean is, say you face the AD, Ill have x amount at 9pm, and then put the rest away, will I feel guilty Ive had it, or will I feel pleased that I saved it till then and then put the rest away.

And if we say a straight NO to the AD is that ok too, or do we have to have a bit and then no more|???

I know you dont have all the answers, Im just keen for your take on the subject!

Originally Posted by canireallydothis!!

What I mean is, say you face the AD, Ill have x amount at 9pm, and then put the rest away, will I feel guilty Ive had it, or will I feel pleased that I saved it till then and then put the rest away.

Pleased I hope!! By eating it and enjoying it, you are teaching yourself normal behaviour. By putting the rest away, you've also strengthened the 'normal' connection. There is no guilt. Even if you succumb to the temptation of eating out of the normal pattern, though you've strengthened that AD just a little bit more, it's a chance to just try again next time.

It's nothing to do with depriving or guilt. Just learning.

And if we say a straight NO to the AD is that ok too, or do we have to have a bit and then no more???

It depends how you say it. Saying "NO...I shouldn't have this feeling", or saying "No..this is just the AD"

The feeling is normal. It's natural...especially for an addict. Accept that is how you feel. Be at peace with it

Originally Posted by Karion Dieting

Pleased I hope!! By eating it and enjoying it, you are teaching yourself normal behaviour. By putting the rest away, you've also strengthened the 'normal' connection. There is no guilt. Even if you succumb to the temptation of eating out of the normal pattern, though you've strengthened that AD just a little bit more, it's a chance to just try again next time.

It's nothing to do with depriving or guilt. Just learning.

It depends how you say it. Saying "NO...I shouldn't have this feeling", or saying "No..this is just the AD"

The feeling is normal. It's natural...especially for an addict. Accept that is how you feel. Be at peace with it

Right, so its saying no to the desire, not the feeling.

Im with it!!! So far anyway!

Originally Posted by canireallydothis!!

Right, so its saying no to the desire, not the feeling.

Im with it!!! So far anyway!

Cool Vicky The idea is very simple. Not always simple to put into action some of the time, but I've yet to find a way that is.

Even other non-dieting methods involve stuff I didn't want to do. Too much reflection...looking in the mirror type of stuff for me

Okay...next point. I posted a few messages over the last couple of weeks that were a type of precursor before starting this thread.

Who are you doing this for?

It's really important that you are doing this for you. I know we've always been told that, but it's a vital part of the success with it.

It has got to be your journey of discovery. Don't invite applause or even encouragement from friends and family. Okay...that sounds weird, but it's important.

"He'll be proud of me" or "he'll be disappointed in me". Your success or otherwise could easily be influenced by what they say.

You need your success to come from that great feeling of facing the AD and not acting on it. It mustn't come from the good feeling of someone praising you or trying to keep you 'on the wagon'.

You've got to want it for you. It's a private challenge. By doing this, it's easier to stay focused on what you are trying to achieve. Praise from others doesn't continue to flow. Or if you feel you have let someone down, then the guilt set in and you start doing it for them.

Best to face that right from the start and not encourage it.