Thread: Minilady's Diary... getting back on track

Have been too ashamed to write in diary I am still smoking and don't know how to change the blooming title of my diary! So it's there taunting me as I haven't had the will power to succeed


As for maintenance, well where do I begin. Still at goal so that's a good start I guess. But the binges have started to come thicker and faster again I have been judding and although I appreciate this works for many, I don't know if it's for me or not. I feel it's sort of giving me license to binge and then diet the next day to compensate. When will I ever feel bloody normal

I bought a health magazine the other day and there was a big article on Binge Eating Disorder. There was a checklist to see if you could have this disorder and I checked every box Since I've checked loads of websites about binge eating disorder and I think the way forward for me is to contact my GP and discuss this and find out if she can reccommend a good therapist that perhaps could help me, cognitive therapy seems like the way to go, but to be honest I'm scared

Tracey
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Awww tracey. It's far from easy isn't it. Bloomin' binge monster

Would be good if your doctor could recommend someone, but while you wait, you know you can do this. It's in you. Have faith in your ability to fight this. Look what you've done so far

Lost this wait. Maintained for ages. Perhaps you need to give yourself another challenge. Would that help?

Shame about the ciggies, but one problem at a time eh.

Oh. to change the title, you need to go back to the maintaince forum page and double click just near it. I found it took a bit of practice. If you let me know what you want it to say, I'll do it for you if you can't get it to work.

Tracey get yourself to the doctors, you've got yourself to a healthy weight on your own and should definitely be entitled to some kind of help to try and ensure that you stay there. I'm sure your doctor would do the best he/she can to give you the support that you need.

Originally Posted by KD

Awww tracey. It's far from easy isn't it. Bloomin' binge monster

He's just as stubborn as me, but I'll beat him in the end!

Would be good if your doctor could recommend someone, but while you wait, you know you can do this. It's in you. Have faith in your ability to fight this. Look what you've done so far

Thanks for your faith. I sort of know inside that I'll stay at goal, I just don't like the way I've been going about it I have had 2 terrible binges in the past week and have to say that thinking about them is making me blush. To compensate I've near on starved myself

Lost this wait. Maintained for ages. Perhaps you need to give yourself another challenge. Would that help?

Eeeek not sure about this one. I did give myself the challenge of giving up smoking, that didn't go so well. I have just joined the gym though! So I guess the challenge is to go 3 times a week as I've promised myself.

Shame about the ciggies, but one problem at a time eh.

I think you're right

Oh. to change the title, you need to go back to the maintaince forum page and double click just near it. I found it took a bit of practice. If you let me know what you want it to say, I'll do it for you if you can't get it to work.

Thanks Helen I managed it.

Originally Posted by x-Katie-x

Tracey get yourself to the doctors, you've got yourself to a healthy weight on your own and should definitely be entitled to some kind of help to try and ensure that you stay there. I'm sure your doctor would do the best he/she can to give you the support that you need.

Thanks Katie I know she will, she's very good. i thought about ringing this morning, then made up a reason to put it off I will definaely phone tomorrow, it's just a bit embarrassing confessing all face to face with someone! Even my closest friends don't know about this. It's so much easier telling cyberfriends

Something I did do last night was email a hypnotherapist, another miniminer has started a thread regarding this and it got me thinking. I poured out some of my story in the email and asked if he thought he could help. He has emailed me back and has offeed me an initial meeting free of charge. Lol I haven't rung him yet, but I will.


Tracey
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I rang the hypnotherapist I bombarded the poor man with lots of questions and I'm sure he thinks he's dealing with a complete fruit loop

He was lovely, I told him I was worried that I wouldn't be a good candidate for hypnotherapy of this kind as I find it so hard to a) relax and b) open up to strangers. I have been hypnotised before but this was for past life regression and was also performed by a friend. We have an appointment booked to talk about the problems and for him to I presume assess me as a suitable candidate and find out how best to deal with me All a bit scary!

Had a mini binge this evening but have managed to nip it in the bud before it turned into a full blown session

Today I booked a trip for hubbys birthday 4 nights in Venice in August, I can't wait!!! Just me and H, DD1 will look after the house and pets while we're away and the other smaller chilblains will stay with my Dad. The hotel looks amazing, really oldie worldie and overlooking the Grande Canal.

Also went online and booked to do the race for life in July. I've thought about it every year and never done it, mainly because I never thought I'd manage it. But this year I have no weight excuse.

Feeling more positive tonight

Wow what a day you've had! Brilliant and totally positive one there.

Great news about the hypnotherapist, funnily I'd just read the thread you mean before I came to your thread so had seen that you were considering it. It seems to be doing well for Sam so far! This kind of thing really interests me and it's definitely something I would look to doing in the future.

Well done for booking the trip - sounds heavenly ----- how lovely to be just the two of you, I'm sure you'll have a great time. I've never been to Venice but funnily enough am planning to go in July/August though probably only for the day. We're going camping for a month in the north of Italy (about 100 miles from Venice) and Venice is one of the cities we're planning on visiting.... I'll be looking out for you on the Gondola

And last but not least good on you for signing up to the race for life --- today has definitely been your day!

Originally Posted by x-Katie-x

Wow what a day you've had! Brilliant and totally positive one there.

Great news about the hypnotherapist, funnily I'd just read the thread you mean before I came to your thread so had seen that you were considering it. It seems to be doing well for Sam so far! This kind of thing really interests me and it's definitely something I would look to doing in the future.

It's quite fascinating how quickly your mind can be influenced. I hope it's as quick for me as it's been for Sam! If I don't do something soon, I know the weight will creep back on and that just isn't an option!

Well done for booking the trip - sounds heavenly ----- how lovely to be just the two of you, I'm sure you'll have a great time. I've never been to Venice but funnily enough am planning to go in July/August though probably only for the day. We're going camping for a month in the north of Italy (about 100 miles from Venice) and Venice is one of the cities we're planning on visiting.... I'll be looking out for you on the Gondola

Lol we could go for a quick coffee!!

That's really strange you should say about the camping, we have toyed with the idea of camping in Italy too and were thinking about it this year, but hubby is off on his own to Chicago with friends they are petrol heads and into old American cars so are planning a trip down route 66 trawling breakers yards as they go! The kids and I weren't too keen on the idea, so while he's away I think we may go to cornwall for a small holiday of our own

Italy has been postponed but am hoping to go next year with the family, we love camping!!! It'll be great to hear about your holiday.



And last but not least good on you for signing up to the race for life --- today has definitely been your day!

Thanks Katie, I feel a lot better today. It all boils down to the control thing again, I felt I was losing it, but doing something positive lets you take hold of the reigns again

Tracey
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Okay so now I want to go to Italy but also fancy the idea of going with your hubby (in the nicest way of course) along route 66 - sounds like a brilliant trip though not something I'd want to take kids on. We went to America last year and drove from San Francisco to LA to Vegas to Yosemite and then back to SF - we took 3 weeks and stopped at places inbetween, me and hubby took our 14 yr old son with us and though he was good as gold it weren't really the trip for him - think he found the travelling/car rides boring whereas me and hubby loved them ----- so this years camping is all for him (though I can't wait for it - and hopefully to be slim while there and be able to try things such as waterskiing on the lakes etc!).

As for Cornwall I love it, my b-i-l and s-i-l live there and I love visiting the --- and one of my fave places is Looe, great memories of my kids crab fishing there

My dear Tracey, you have the resilience of a rubber ball. Ground down by an unintended row on line I inability to quit B the cigs one day. Now you're booking romantic breaks, hyponotherapy sessions, CBT & the racefor Life.

with this sort dynamism & determination what demon can stand a chance ?

Go for it gal. I'm right behind you (but probably only walking ).

Originally Posted by x-Katie-x

Okay so now I want to go to Italy but also fancy the idea of going with your hubby (in the nicest way of course) along route 66 - sounds like a brilliant trip though not something I'd want to take kids on. We went to America last year and drove from San Francisco to LA to Vegas to Yosemite and then back to SF - we took 3 weeks and stopped at places inbetween, me and hubby took our 14 yr old son with us and though he was good as gold it weren't really the trip for him - think he found the travelling/car rides boring whereas me and hubby loved them ----- so this years camping is all for him (though I can't wait for it - and hopefully to be slim while there and be able to try things such as waterskiing on the lakes etc!).

I know Scott will have a wonderful time, he's never been to America (neither have I) He has a friend who is living in Chicago, they moved due to his girlfriends work 3 years ago, Although Adam comes back to blighty quite a bit, Scott has never visited him. So the plan is to stay with Adam for a couple of Days and then take Adam's clapped out campervan along the highways Lol I'm envisaging a male version of Thelma and Louse

Hey there's no 'hopefully' about it You WILL be slim

As for Cornwall I love it, my b-i-l and s-i-l live there and I love visiting the --- and one of my fave places is Looe, great memories of my kids crab fishing there

I love Cornwall too! The coastline is fantastic and I am fascinated by the standing stones that seem to cover the whole of the county, plus there is so much for the children. I think if I had to pick a favourite place it would be Tintagel.

Originally Posted by jane

My dear Tracey, you have the resilience of a rubber ball. Ground down by an unintended row on line I inability to quit B the cigs one day. Now you're booking romantic breaks, hyponotherapy sessions, CBT & the racefor Life.

with this sort dynamism & determination what demon can stand a chance ?


Lol!!! I will beat the bugger in the end

Go for it gal. I'm right behind you (but probably only walking ).

Thanks Jane, I'm so glad you're back on Mins posting again I always read your posts with a smile, perhaps you might consider opening your diary again

Tracey
x

ooh, Just found your thread tracey. good luck and will be following yoru progress from now on

Originally Posted by wannalose8stone

ooh, Just found your thread tracey. good luck and will be following yoru progress from now on

Thanks Sam

Hypnotherapist phoned yesterday and my appointment has been moved to this Friday I asked him some more questions on the phone about what will happen during my sessions. He won't try and delve into the psychological reasons behind why binge eat. I told him about seeing a counsellor to deal with the reasons and he felt that was a good idea and that the 2 would work very well hand in hand.

I rang to make an appointment with GP but she is on holiday until week after next, so will have to wait a little longer to sort that out.

I told 2 of my close friends yesterday about the hypnotherapy and my eating patterns. They were both very shocked. I found myself going into great detail about how I feel etc. At first I felt embarrassed, but then everything came gushing out, we all hugged and I had a cry. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted, just by speaking about my inner emotions made me feel so much better. The only downside is that my friends are now really worried about me so I spent last night and today convincing them that I was fine and not to worry as I've always been this way and it's not a new thing, it's just the first time I'd been open about it to them.

Something I did remember is when I was 5 my sister was seriously ill and my family spent many hours at the hospital, I can remember feeling so scared that she would die (I'd heard this mentioned in whispers) Whilst the chaos was going on I was sat in waiting rooms and given lots of sweets and goodies to keep me quiet, this went on for about a year until her condition was stabilised. Got me thinking was this when my comfort eating began

I went to the gym yesterday and had a good workout, I feel great once I've been and yesterday managed to jog non stop for 15 minutes without feeling like my lungs would burst

Tracey
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Hi hun
This is def def def 100% something I need to address as well, I've been reading Sam's post and now found yours as well - cant wait to hear how you get on!
Its a bloody nightmare this entire 'binge' word/situation/problem - you name it...
Easy to control when you get that 'flick of the switch' right whilst SS'ing and 790 type thingying - I worry that I have done this before - got to within a st of goal and resorted back to previous ways because of the draw that food has to me!
Its all very well knowing that you have control issues but being able to control the control issues is the way to go!
Cant wait to hear how you get on luv.
All the best....

Originally Posted by Time4ME

Hi hun
This is def def def 100% something I need to address as well, I've been reading Sam's post and now found yours as well - cant wait to hear how you get on!
Its a bloody nightmare this entire 'binge' word/situation/problem - you name it...
Easy to control when you get that 'flick of the switch' right whilst SS'ing and 790 type thingying - I worry that I have done this before - got to within a st of goal and resorted back to previous ways because of the draw that food has to me!
Its all very well knowing that you have control issues but being able to control the control issues is the way to go!
Cant wait to hear how you get on luv.
All the best....

Thanks Clare for taking time to read my witterings

I thought that CD had miraculously cured me of my food problems I found ssing really quite easy, in fact I loved it and after the first 2 weeks hardly ever craved food, in fact certain foods I'd loved smelt awful and I no longer wanted them. Then moving up the plans was hard as I still didn't want to eat, I'd been so happy in my keto heaven I did follow the plans to the letter and enjoyed the foods I was eating and at the start of maintenance although I was scared of putting on weight I didn't feel the need to binge and thought or hoped that I'd never binge again. This state of mind lasted about 4 weeks and then the first binge happened, it wasn't a massive one and I thought ok I've had one, but all is ok. Since then they've worsened and the amount o sugary, fatty crap I consume each time is getting more and more. Of course to compensate I have days where I hardly eat a thing and rely on Cambridge products instead of a meal (I guess that's the downside of being a cousellor, I have an abundant supply of CD)

I don't want to carry on this way, it was bad enough yoyo dieting for years, I don't want to yoyo maintain too.

Thanks for your encouragement

Tracey
x