Thread: KDs Earlier Maintenance Diary

Ah hun - so sorry you've had a rotten few days but I'm very pleased you're still allliivvvvee!!!!!

Just for you!

Love the troll I want one

It's been a good week. Okay, some things have gone wrong, but nobody has completely stress free weeks. I've loved my week at school.

Keeping busy is good for me. Means I don't have time to wallow in self pity and feelings of insecurity and paranoia. It's stopping the crazy workload that frightens me the most.

Thinking of joining WW, but not sure whether I have to be overweight to join Maybe if I put some on over Christmas I might get to qualify. Miss the support I think.

Anyway....back to work. Thanks for replying Issy and cheers for the lubberly Santa Troll

Oh I know that feeling, KD - if I wasn't busy, I'd have me head in the oven (even though it's electric!).

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Originally Posted by Isobel1965

Oh I know that feeling, KD - if I wasn't busy, I'd have me head in the oven (even though it's electric!).

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LMAO at you two!!!! Sending loads of hugs and smiles your way....

KD.....I LOVE YOUR THREAD

Originally Posted by Isobel1965

Oh I know that feeling, KD - if I wasn't busy, I'd have me head in the oven (even though it's electric!).

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Ack....wouldn't recommend it. Last time I tried that way, I stuck head in oven, looked around and realised that I couldn't possibly 'go' until I'd given it a darn good clean!

Ah you see that's where you and I are different.

I would rather stick my head in the oven than clean the beggar!

Ahh, but you need such a long concentration span to do that, and I just don't have one 1. Place protective cloth on floor of oven
2. Place head with least flattering profile on protective cloth
3. Wait
4. Wait
5. Think of things that need doing
6. Answer the phone
7. Place head on cloth
8. Reply to emails
9. Place head on cloth
10. Answer door
11. Place head on cloth
12. Remember I haven't put the dinner on.
13. Cook dinner for family, wait for oven to cool.

etc

Would be much quicker if you could shut the oven door to get the full impact of the fumes (assuming you use poison gas).

It would be much better to cut off head and place in oven. Then you could close the oven door. That should work

LMTO!!!!!!!!!

Ah, but what's the best way to cut one's head off?

I wouldn't want to stain the laminate flooring........

You can get these collars that some hairdressers use to catch hair as it falls.

It attaches around the neck and has a sort of 'moat' all the way around the body.

You may have to build up the edge of the 'moat' depending on how big your head is. I recommend another 5-6 inches, in a sturdy corregated cardboard.

If you wish to use it again, I would suggest lining the 'moat' with a black bin liner to collect any blood. It's a pain to wash after, but will stop any leakage on the floor.

Another tip would be to get a piece of A3 paper and to draw some ------- along the edge. Cut the strip leaving the ----- in the centre.

Tape the strip to the collar of the head catcher with a good quality tape.

Use the ---- as a guide for cutting.

I have tons of hints and tips in my head if anyone needs

Ah - good idea - how about getting one of those doggy collar thingys that you put on the poor mutt to stop em scratching their stitches!

They always look so embarrassed with them on - it quite tickles me.

Erm - it's not a great fashion look though, is it?

If I'm going to go, I'd rather look sexy and alluring for the investigative officers LMTO!

Originally Posted by Isobel1965

Erm - it's not a great fashion look though, is it?

If I'm going to go, I'd rather look sexy and alluring for the investigative officers LMTO!

No probs! Cut off head, remove collar, clean it and put away.

Place head in oven with a message saying 'do not disturb'

Place nail varnish top of neck on the rest of your body to seal the wound.

Put on sexy lingerie, and lay on bed. Can't get more sexy than that

Originally Posted by Karion Dieting

Can't get more sexy than that

Darling - we need to talk! LMTO!!!!!

Okay...tips please. I'm out of practice.

Got my S&M magazine, notebook and pen at the ready.

Fire away

LOL - it's not that kind of forum, missus!!! teehee

(Karion slumps off disappointedly and puts S&M mag back in bedside drawer before returning Mayfair to under sons bed)