New Beginning - this time I'll do it!

Hi,
I thought I'd keep a diary about my weight loss journey with Shake that Weight. Years ago I was a Cambridge Diet Counsellor and managed to lose about 3 stone and keep it off for a few years. As soon as I had no access to packs and had to return to 'normal' food I went off the rails. Hence, I am now at my heaviest weight. Really all my life from childhood I've been on one diet or another but now hitting my middle 40's I have just found myself piling on the pounds and being a bit out of control. I didn't have an off switch when it came to food.

In fact it's got to the point where I have been a complete hermit (apart from work and things I absolutely have to do!) my boyfriend has a large family who are always having some sort of get together and I've managed to find excuses for so long now because I hate the way I look and I just think that people are going, 'Ooh, look how much weight she's gained...' or I'll see their shock. They may not be (I imagine the worst!) but they all seem to have lovely figures lol. Including my boyfriend who (annoyingly) can eat what he likes and he just loses weight so easily.

I've reached a point where I feel self conscious and whatever I put on it looks dreadful. I want to be able to go to family do's because they are actually really enjoyable! I've even avoided friends because this 'fatness' has taken my confidence away and I'm beginning to think that I'm wasting my life. If I don't go out there into the world and have fun then what's it all about? I am going to try and enjoy my weight loss journey and start having fun and seeing friends now instead of waiting.

So, all in all I've been a depressed mess and in retrospect maybe that's not such a bad thing because it's finally spurred me on to do something about it. For a while I've fooled myself that I looked alright - that is until I catch sight of myself in a mirror or a photo or when I tried on a size 16 trousers and the button popped off and my legs clung so tight I looked like I was about to burst out like the Hulk. Grrr. I'm walking around in clothes that have seen better days as I'm not going up another size! But at the same time it's not so good when I couldn't do my jacket up all winter.

Anyway, new beginning. It has taken a while, I've gone up and down from 13st 11lb to 14st 7lb over the past year and now reached my heaviest 14st 11lb. If I reach 15 stone then I just don't know where it will end. So now is the time.

I have been reading through people's diaries and their stories and experiences for the past few days on Minimins and I'm sure that's what has kept me on the diet (I started Monday so 3 days ago). I am aiming to have packs only to begin with and I must admit the first few days have been hard. Really the stories on here and looking at the I've done it photos made me think that's better than any choc bar. So I hope that my journey will also help others too.

Day 3 and I feel better. I had a mega headache Monday and Tuesday but today it is almost gone. I felt ravenous earlier today but after I had a pack lunchtime I've not felt hungry at all so I'm hoping I'm in ketosis as I had to force myself to have the last pack tonight. I have those sticks and I'll test later to see if ketosis has kicked in.

So far, I don't like hazelnut (mixed it with chocolate tonight and that improved it) and café latte can take or leave (I'm used to Carte Noir with sugar and cream so the café latte was never going to live up to that). Love banana, strawberry and chocolate and I've just ordered a month's worth including soups and bars and the packs I've not tried such as caramel and vanilla so I'll let you know what I think. Trouble is everyone has different tastes so what I like means nothing really! But I will say that the shakes are lovely and creamy. With Cambridge I lived on Chocolate Mint but had to use lots of milk (not supposed to but it was so thin without milk) but Shake that Weight is creamy without milk I'm very impressed.

Here goes...I'll raise my glass of (water) and I hope this steely determination carries on for at least a week! I know how hard it can be. But keeping focused and coming on here when I'm feeling weak or picking up my body blade - piece of fitness equipment - that I hope will help tone my arms will keep me away from the chocolates and crisps that we have in this house.

Sorry for mega rambling post!

Day 5. I have just tried a chocolate truffle bar for lunch and it was nice. Very handy not to have to make up shakes all the time. I feel really bloated and don't feel like I've lost much. I'm tempted to get on the scales but don't feel like I've lost anything. My goal is to lose 14lbs this week - very unrealistic but I would settle for just getting in to the 13's. Every new stone down will be fantastic.

Headaches are completely gone. And I've started to feel thirsty - or rather recognise my thirst! I used to just reach for a chocolate bar (or 3) and wouldn't dream that what I actually needed was a drink. I am pleased I've got to day 5. Ultra pleased that the headaches are gone and looking forward to a new challenge...the weekend.

I know that, because I've put off losing weight for so long, I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to basically get to my goal really quickly eg: 2 stone in the first month! And that's not helpful...would be nice though!

Goal 1 - Get into the 13 stones.

I went to visit my Mum today, she lives in a lovely place but she also has an abundance of chocolates. Luckily had a bar with me for breakfast and had that (lemon) which stopped me from eating those mini chocolate bars that are just 2 bites big. They were calling me! as was her gorgeous bread which just begged for a large chunk to be broken off.... as you can tell I am obsessed by food today!

Had a salad for lunch, just bought a ready made bowl without any dressing. Quite boring but was nice to chew something. So, I've had a bar, a salad and a chocolate pack made with hot water today. Not really enough, should've had another pack but couldn't fit it in.

I asked my Mum to take some photos of me. One front and one back OMG. :cry:what a sight! But, it was good. She's going to take the same photo (similar clothes) every few weeks. I didn't want to ask my other half - the less he sees of my rolly polly bits the better, let alone getting him to photograph them! It was an eye opener though. You know when you know that you are big, you even catch sight of yourself in the mirror and go...blimey didn't know I was like that! Or when your clothes don't fit. Well, all that's awful but seeing those photos there was nowhere to hide. Normally I'd just let it get me down. Today, I've used it to go....goodbye never to be that big again. As soon as I'm able to post pictures I'll put them up to see progress.

I tried on some size 16 jeans that I'd bought a few weeks back. I squeezed them (literally) up past my thighs but they are nowhere near doing up. Never mind, that's another thing to add as a goal.

Also, bought a pedometer which should arrive any day. It does steps taken, calories burned and I am hoping it will motivate me to just add a bit more as I'm sure that my steps are probably under 1000 let alone the recommended 10,000.

First weigh in: Monday 20th April. Will post what happened.

Goals:

Get into the 13's
Get my size 16 jeans to do up
Stick to 4 packs a day as much as possible
Check steps daily on pedometer and aim to add another 50 per day

Damn I've cheated!! Grrrr. and it's the day before weigh in I could kick myself. And now I feel like I've put on about a stone lol. I had some chilli con carni...lots of tiny spoonfuls while I was making it. I convinced myself at first that I had to try it to see that it tasted good. One teaspoon became about 15 teaspoons - could've been more!! It is so weird. I would've said (even this morning) that I was so strong on this diet and there was no way I'd cheat. Within a few hours I have cheated??!! Out of nowhere. Then I cut a large piece of jam and cream sponge for my bf and had to literally throw the knife I'd used into the sink and turned the water on full blast before I could run my finger along and scooped up all the jam and cream that had accumulated along the knife. I am vulnerable today. Think I'll need to go to bed early!!!

This is sooooo hard! I won't have my last pack tonight now. Just keep drinking water I suppose and hope that it's not done too much damage. Does anyone else feel freezing cold on this diet? I have been wrapped in a blanket for the last hour and am normally warm but not the last few days.

Had a vegetable soup lunchtime (first soup I've tried) it was ok. And it was great to have something hot. I wonder how people cope in the winter. Thank God the weather has been a bit warmer cause that made it slightly easier. Hats off to all dieters doing this.

Spent a few hours earlier looking at clothes online - ones that would fit me in the summer if I succeed. I ordered a necklace (hopefully that will fit!)

Just a quick update.

First week's weigh in this morning, I actually didn't want to get on the scales as it didn't feel like I'd lost anything BUT!!!
First week's loss: 10lb Whoop Whoop I am just one or is it two little pounds away from the 13's.

I have been on here reading people's posts and diaries (in different sections) for hours lol. I think this is my new addiction!
Have only had one bar and one pack today. It isn't enough...at gone 9oclock at night it's hard to face another pack. I can't believe that before this diet I would be eating a large slice of cream cake at 9pm and would then be thinking, 'Should I sneak in a choccy bar before bed!!' Think I may need to force down another pack though.

I have been good with the water today. Tried a dark chocolate bar and a caramel shake - I wasn't expecting to like the caramel shake but it was quite nice the bar wasn't my favourite but ate it anyway - rude not to. x

Absolutely starving this lunchtime. Serves me right! Eating not enough packs yesterday could've set me up for a fall today. So glad I've got some bars though, I was so hungry when I got home today that if I'd had to make a shake then I'd have cheated! Especially as my bf had just done a curry and left the poppadum's all out with other bits and pieces.

Today I feel slimmer though which is nice and I was walking a bit faster which feels good. I am still cold though and not sure I'm in ketosis....surely I've gotta be??!!

I tried on my size 16 jeans that a week and a half ago would only just go over my thighs but were nowhere near meeting - well they can now do up. Yey...I can't breathe when they are done up as they are sooooo tight but it's a move in the right direction!! :bliss:

Haven't drank enough water and am trying to get in my quota this evening. Not a good idea an hour before bed. I need to be more organised and make sure I space my water out. Just like the packs. I know that I crave foods in the evenings so I try and save myself a couple of packs for that but sometimes I'm leaving my last pack so late that I can't always face it. So not ideal. I find when I have less than recommended I'm ravenous the next day and that's just making life (and this diet) harder than it needs to be.

But all in all, everything going ok. for today! Tomorrow...who knows?!

Struggling aarrgghh. I got home to find a letter on the mat about money that I apparently owed for an overpayment in 2012!! I'd already had a stressful day and had called in to the supermarket on my way home from work and got some lovely fresh rolls for bf lunch tomorrow... what did I do? Yes!! Half a roll - torn off and gone...down the hatch! I didn't even wait to get a knife and cut it in two bits! There's the other half in the kitchen calling...:ignore: Ooohh, I am trying sooo hard to resist.

You wouldn't believe the angst I am going through right now. Lol. Decided I'm going to have a Coke Zero and just try and ignore it. I know it will pass if I just do something else and I can recover from one half of a roll but it's harder to recover if I give in and eat the other half and then who knows where it'll lead? I might have to try on some clothes (that don't fit) and that will make me realise why I shouldn't eat more bread!

Wish me luck!

An aha moment. My monthly's are due...wonder if that is why I am getting these awful cravings...ate the remainder of the roll (epic fail) but have stopped there. Didn't really enjoy the second half which is even more annoying.

I am going to drink lots of water tonight and have a pack later. Onwards and upwards. I am still learning and not ready to give up. This is hard but I know if I can just pull myself together and spend the rest of the week on 4 packs a day then I'll still get some weight loss. I want to get into the 13's and lose a stone by Monday. That is still achievable!!

Today's meals

Shake That Weight Muesli Bar (didn't like it very much)
Banana Shake
One roll with some tuna mayonnaise on the second bit!! :rant2::sigh2:
Chocolate Shake

Back on it today 100%. I'm just going to put the 'roll' experience of yesterday behind me. My pedometer arrived, I'm averaging 6000 steps. I thought I'd only get to 1000 to be honest with a desk job but I was surprised. So, if I can get off the train a stop earlier some days and maybe do a bit of zumba that should kick it up to nearer 10,000. Room for improvement....

Today's food/drinks:

Banana (yum) a girl at work tried some and she loved it, reminded her of Nesquik. It does!!
Chocolate (made with hot water) really enjoyed this, it's always like a warming comfy treat.
Chocolate Truffle Bar - Look forward to this with a cup of tea. I eat it by taking little bites so it lasts longer! Really fills me up though!
Chicken Soup - Haven't tried this yet (was going to try the other day but didn't) but think it'll be a nice dinner later.

Happy Friday! Nearly been on this diet for 2 weeks...second weigh in on Monday. I'm nervous because I soooo want to be in the 13's. My goal is to have lost 14pounds by Monday's weigh in. That would be 13st 11lbs.

I plan to do a workout today (but feel really, really tired so not sure if that's gonna happen)
Definitely do a workout Saturday and Sunday to boost my weight loss for Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes I wish I didn't put so much pressure on myself. :sigh:

Had another roll with egg mayonnaise. OH MY GOD...what is wrong with me????????!!!!!!!! Feel bloated and miserable. I am going back and forth. I'm not giving up though. I've made a mental note that my bf will not get nice rolls for his lunch anymore they are just too tempting for me. lol selfish! But that's it. 2 days now I've not been able to resist so I have to admit that its' best to take them out of the equation (or kitchen) and not buy them in the first place.

I couldn't have eaten worse than bread, it just bloats me out.
One day :innocent0002:
Next day arty0051:

Ok, I can only start again from now. So, I've had:

1 x bar (Shake That Weight) not chocolate bar.
1 x roll with egg mayo

Plan to have this evening:

1 x pack - soup
Lots of water
Depending on how I feel another pack - hot chocolate - later tonight as a bedtime treat.
Try and do a Body Blade workout as that's just half hour at the most.

:wave_cry:

TOTM started overnight. So have a terrible tummy ache today. I'm pleased that it wasn't Monday though (that's when it was due!) as that is weigh in day.

I have had a lovely creamy strawberry shake for breakfast. They really do taste like a Nesquik shake. Luckily I like them! But these shakes are more creamy. Added 300ml of water and ice cubes (I know it's not really the weather for ice cubes!) but I like them ice cold.

I am hoping that me cheating with the bread rolls has been because of PMT and I do get cravings for something comforting. Today I have to go and drop off some shoes to my BF...he has a golf match and forgot his shoes! Then, as I'm out may go shopping and have a look at what's in the shops (clothes wise). I haven't even felt like doing that for soooooo long. I wouldn't buy but sometimes it's inspiration enough to check out and dream!

I'll take a bar with me.


Today's food

Strawberry Shake
Vegetable Soup
Bar - Chocolate Truffa
Chocolate Shake - made hot, it has become my indulgence

Think it's important to have shakes that you actually like. Sounds silly but I had to try out some of the flavours just to see. However, I am planning to get the ones I dislike out of the way quickly (hazelnut, Latte,) and then when I reorder make sure I have lots of chocolate! If I feel like cheating but know that I always have a hot chocolate shake on hand then I think that will help lots. Come Summer I may change from hot chocolate but for now....that does it for me!

Have a great Saturday everyone. :innocent0002:

I have been good this weekend. Just a quick update before my weigh in tomorrow. Drank plenty of water (probably about 3ltrs each day) well, that's plenty of water for me! I struggle with that (not the only thing I struggle with on this diet!). I am hoping that tomorrow's weigh in will make it all worth it. Haven't got a clue what my weight loss will be. As I've said....repeatedly I think! I want to be in the 13's and to reach 13st 11lbs to take me to a 1 stone loss would be amazing.

I am usually a serial weigher but have resisted all week. I think it's because I have had a few cheats and not felt like I've lost much, if I'd weighed and the scales had said I'd gained then that would've been game over. So, pleased now that I resisted!

I woke up with a sore throat today. You would think all these packs with vitamins in - plus I take a multivitamin aswell - would keep the cold's away. But nooooo. Have felt quite light headed too, very dizzy at one point so I had a bar and a cup of tea. Wondered if my blood sugar had dropped? Still a bit light headed but it's much better. Roll on tomorrow's weigh in and I NEVER usually want Monday to arrive.

Weigh in day!! I lost 4lb whoop whoop

That means I've lost a stone in 2 weeks. I'm so pleased. I hope that I can continue to avoid cheats and just do the diet. I still don't feel like I'm a lot slimmer. But then it's very easy to forget what I was like just a week ago, let alone 2 weeks ago. I've been looking at clothes and I would never have done that 2 weeks ago. What would be the point when I felt so bad about myself. So I've definitely changed my mindset!

I think that I'll only start to feel really slimmer when I'm in the early 12's. From past experience I know that at about 12stone I can wear size 14 with room to spare and sometimes get into size 12 if it's a roomy item. But it's easy to just keep looking forward without appreciating what I've achieved here and now. So, I have to keep reminding myself to think, 'Great, say goodbye to the 14's and enjoy today'

I am meant to go out tonight for dinner and drinks. I'm tempted to cancel (there's a few people going so it's not like I'd be letting a lonesome friend down!) I feel that this is such a delicate stage and I want to build on it...not potentially put the 4lb back on in one night. I'm torn. I don't want to become a recluse...although I have been a recluse due to my weight for ages - dodging meeting people and being seen! - and I was determined to be more sociable. But...do I really need a meal and drinks so early into the diet??!! Hmmm, I'm undecided. I can always catch up with them next time maybe another month down the line.

Anyway, must make a decision because I'm boring myself going back and forth

Just checked if my BMI was still in the 'obese' category...it is!!
NEXT GOAL = 12st 11lb (BMI would be 29.8 and take me into the overweight category) haha...amazing that I'd be pleased to be classed as 'overweight' but when you are always obese that makes me feel good!!!!!!!

BMI Categories:
Underweight = <18.5
Normal weight = 18.5–24.9
Overweight = 25–29.9
Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

My bf just said, 'Oh no, that French loaf we bought has got the end missing!' :479: :ashamed0005: ok, I may have snapped the end off and popped it in my mouth! But it was all hot and smelling delicious.....:sigh2:

Other than that I have been really good for the past few days! Compromised last night, I went out for a drink (only had water) and then left before the meal and came home and had a shake. Which kind of makes today's 'bread incident' really really annoying! Oh well, I'll put it behind me and ignore the other end of the French loaf which is calling my name LOUDLY.

Resisted other end of French loaf...should I ban that from the house too?

Today:
1 x Banana shake
1 x Veggie soup
1 x Bar
1 end of a French loaf...ok, I cut off an extra chunk (with butter!!) :wave_cry:

Hopefully I can be strong tomorrow. My aim 100% packs/bars. I know I can do this.

New day. Same issue I AM CRAVING BREAD, BUTTER, CHEESE, SWEETS, CRISPS, CAKE,CHOCOLATE...but I have just had water instead.

BF is out tonight so I am planning on doing a workout and keeping myself occupied. I have been working on a formulation for a lovely light facial oil and if I have time I'll make up a small batch to try out - making new skin care creations always makes me happy.

I bought some bars from Slim & Save as I find that it's really handy to have bars, especially if I get home late and I'm hungry. The Shake That Weight ones are ok, I liked the milk chocolate one - the rest I could take or leave. So, I ordered Slim & Save and OMG I love them, apart from the lemon & white chocolate one today which wasn't so nice but the Praline bar is to die for. I also liked Chocolate Orange and Chocolate Mint (both of which are big and very rich) and also coconut yum but I can't see that on their website anymore... I shall definitely be ordering more and trying the chewy milk chocolate one. So, I am settling for Shake That Weight shakes/soups and Slim & Save Bars. Although, depending on how my weight loss goes might not have a bar everyday.

I worked out what I want to lose each week to get to my goal weight of 10stone by the end of August and I would need to lose around 4lb a week. 4lb is just an average but it helped me by working it out because it just gives me a figure each week to aim for. To achieve that however, there can be no sneaky bread eating... we'll see!