Thread: For those who have lost a lot of weight...

I think I'm having a contemplative and reflective day today, this is another question around reaching target and longer term plans. For those who have lost a lot of weight - did you always plan to lose that much? Did you reach one target and think you could do another one? How did you know when you'd reached the point where you'd lost enough?

I only planned to lose 3 stone and to do it by Christmas, which I did. I've now lost more than that, and have set targets accordingly but still don't have an end point in mind. One of my targets is a bmi of 30, which I think is pretty darn good for me from my starting point, but I've also looked at what a healthy bmi weighs for me, and whilst I can't ever imagine weighing so little, I can also see that it is possible - but I don't know if that will be too low for me?

Gosh I'm rambling, hopefully someone will understand these ramblings having been through them too!

I understand your ramblings even though I'm not close yet. My currently set goal is 10 stone which is near the top of my healthy BMI range. However, depending on how I feel when I get there I may lower it to 8 st 7 lb which is further towards the bottom of it. I think one of the things for many of us is that we're so used to being overweight/obese that even a relatively small drop in weight means a massive overhaul in the way we see ourselves, and how others see us. If someone has been in their healthy BMI range for a long time we will be used to seeing them like that and won't think anything of it. However, if someone who has been overweight for a long period loses a lot of weight to get into that area they will often get comments such as they're 'wasting away' or they 'look unhealthy' because both they and others just aren't used to seeing them at / being that weight. It takes a big change in perception for everyone and takes time to get used to seeing that person at that weight. Or for us, being at that weight.

Basically what I'm trying to say (in a very round about way) is that if you choose to get into your healthy BMI range it's going to be really odd initially for both you and others, however, at the end of the day it's still probably healthier than remaining overweight. It doesn't mean though that it has to be done in one go. You may find you get to 30 and you're happy being there for a while but then find that you want to lose a bit more.

I've been obese all my life, from the word go. At age 14 I somehow reached size 24, no idea what weight I was though.

When I lost 12 stone in weight on LL in 2008-2009. In body - I didn't FEEL the body differently as such. I was still me. Just a more bendy me. I could cross my legs - whereas before I wouldn't have been able to. Things like that.

Because I didn't feel all that differently, apart from the random bones jabbing out everywhere, I became addicted to the numbers and the drops and the fear of food consumed me. I didn't have a target - and maybe that was part of the issue. Having always been fat - I had absolutely NO IDEA what I looked like, what I SHOULD look like, who I WAS... Does that make sense? I lost myself because I had lost all the fat and was nearing BMI 17.

I suggest - actually set a target number. Go for a mid-range BMI, because BMI exists for a reason. Looking back over pictures of myself, I looked pretty good at a mid-range BMI (though I didn't see this at all at the time).. now that I know this, my target will be 9st or a little above.. But no lower!

You may never FEEL 'right' or 'correct' or 'how you thought you'd feel'. I certainly didn't. Even at BMI 18 I felt fat -because that's all I ever knew.

Remember, be healthy and set a plan. Don't expect a miracle when you reach a magic number - like I did. I thought my life would change and I'd be different. I was EXPECTING something to happen at the very end. No. No fireworks, how disappointing. Just me, more bony, but me. Everything else is still the same. And maybe that's what I was chasing too partly. A success that I wasn't allowing myself.

Moral of the story: set a target and stick to it! If you're not quite happy when you reach it - tweak it a bit, but be realistic. Listen to what the others say to you and take it on board. Most importantly - learn to accept the new you - THAT is the hardest thing to do of all! Getting to know your new body!

Two great comments there ladies....how I wish this was a dilemma I was facing myself!!! Xx

Thank you so much for responding - and for knowing where I'm coming from! I have never been anything other than very overweight as an adult, and for most of my teenage years too, so I really do have no clue what I'll look like, I did think to start with that a stone and a half ago would be ideal for me, and it certainly wasn't, but, that was my lightest adult weight previously (and briefly) so I thought it a good place to aim for.

My next target will be that BMI of 30 - and that's because my consultant told me I'd never reach that before being too old for IVF under the new guidelines unless I had a gastric bypass - so I want to get there to prove that it can be done (would love to go back and see him then to just open his mind to the possibilities). But, I've only got 9lb to get off before I reach that and I don't think that will be enough.

So, ultimate target I think will be a BMI of 25. Gives me another 30lb or so to lose. All totally doable if I stop messing about!

Well done Noodles. I know it can be tough finding a target - especially when we lose all concept of what we're meant to look like (never really having been that way before!)... but in this case, it really is quite useful to stick to the BMI.

You're doing so very well and a definite inspiration to the SnS forum I'm sure!! When I was stalking this forum to switch from LL a few weeks ago, I was very inspired and amazed at your determination and healthy frame of mind.

Keep going, you WILL get there. We're all in this together!

Inititally I set a target to be a BMI of 22.5 - as mid range healthy, which for me is 10 stone. It seemed totally unrealistic at the start. As I got into the weight loss thing at one point I changed it to 9.5 stone, although I can't remember why now. I later changed it back to 10 stone and that's the goal that I reached in June. Looking back at photos now I feel that I look too thin - you can see lots of rib definition. My current ideal weight is 11 stone - which is a bmi of 25. At that weight I am slim and healthy. I think that as long as you're willing to reassess as you go along then don't worry too much about whther it's right or not. Having said that having a goal of 10 stone kept me going through time like when I was a size 14 and felt so small compared to the start - if I hadn't had a goal I think I would have stopped there.

Ignore BMI it's ridiclous!!! Its no representation of your fitness and health!!!

I have picked a size I want to be.... I dont care what weight I am at that size.... know I'll be on the heavier side as I lift a lot of weights so have muscle... but I wont care once my ass is in those size 14 jeans lol....

X

Sadly if you're seeking any kind of treatment you can't ignore bmi, right or wrong it's a fact that has to be considered. Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts with me, it's helped my focus

I've spoken with nurses I've worked on and they have told me its all starting to change though... and more emphasis on the measurement of your waist! Its a guideline for sure but BMI isnt a representation of health or fitness.... the medics need to catch up!!!

Its a disgrace the crap info the 'health authority' provide....

Although other factors should be taken into consideration along with BMI, a BMI of 40 (or most in the obese category) is going to be bad for you no matter what!

There has to be some kind of guideline, and it is a better measure than just weight I think. At least it's consistent, imagine the chaos if you should be an ideal dress size, would that be a Wallis 12 or a Top Shop 12? there are always exceptions to every rule, but I don't think any ivf consultant would send you off too drop a few stone if they can quite clearly see you're ripped!

I think BMI is a really good health guide for people who do little exercise. As soon as you have someone with developed muscles it isn't helpful at all... Luckily for me I didn't start my exercising until after I reached goal - so It was a useful goal for me. I have now increased the weight I want my goal to be, partly to take into account my increased muscle mass. It just so happens that my 'ideal' weight (from my point of view) is still a BMI of 25 - but I wouldn't worry if it were 27 or 30 or something as long as it makes sense for my fitness level. It's harder to come at that if you already do a lot of exercise. I think size is a good measure in that case. Certainly waist to hip ratio.

Hi noodles I am about to start the ivf roller coaster too. I am starting next month and want o try get a stone off! At first I wanted two stone off but have started to be realistic and just get a little more healthier! When I first started looking at slim and save u inspired me too so I know you can do it and show that doctor!!
s x