I'm not a dog. I will not reward myself with food!!

Carrie82

Full Member
I read that quote once and it's stuck in my head but nowhere else really! I'm a chocoholic, I comfort eat and my partner loves his munchies on a daily basis (huge bag of Doritos every night and never puts on huge amounts of weight!). I need to change this otherwise I will just continue to balloon until I reach Professor Klump proportions (nutty professor!). I have dieted and succeeded but given up. I get bored, I'm impatient and I can't stay away from chocolate. Negative comments about my weight or what I eat makes me want to eat! My partner saying I'm not fat, makes me want to kill him! Not fat? Who does he see because it's not who I'm ashamed to see in the one and only mirror we have in the house! I'm fed up of my 'fat' clothes being my goal clothes and generally of having a self-esteem that's hit rock bottom. I'm bubbly, lively and spirited inside yet I feel tired, old and hagged! This is my journey, a day in, and hopefully in a years time I'll look back at this post with a huge grin on my face as I hold up a size 14 pair of jeans against the size 22 I'm wearing today! I don't thin I've ever felt this determined before. I think seeing my weight on those scales on Tuesday has scared me senseless and I need to do this to be able to enjoy my children and my life to the full!
 
ok just read we are the same size clothes as well!!
I cant wait to follow this through and see the results!
I havent been a size 14 since I was 14!!!
xx
 
I felt the exact same as you did and that's the reason I tried slim fast, welcome aboard hunni, I'm just on my second week and I love it :), good luck on ur weight loss journey and look forward to sharing it with you xx
 
Ducky,it's fab we're starting off at literally the same point and you've two weeks headway too :) you'll reach your goals in no time if you continue as you are and we'll be sat in our size 14's before you know it :D thank you for the lovey welcome Bee xx I did slim fast a few years ago and was starving, but for some reason, I don't feel as hungry this time round! X
 
I've been naughty and weighed myself today! I couldn't help it but according to my scales I've lost 2lbs!?! That can't be right! It's only my second day on the plan, surely I can't expect to see a loss so soon? If so, it's every incentive to keep at it! Today's been a tough one. I've had a headache all day, I ran out of snack bars yesterday and daren't eat anything else (I knew I'd need my choc fix at some point!) so by tea time, I was starving! Instead of making my chicken in red wine like I'd planned (would help if I defrosted the chicken!) I had a WW shepherds pie with extra carrots and cabbage and ones their brownie desserts. According to my fitness pal and the level of exercise I've done today, I've just short of 1000 calories left to use! This will be more like 500 when I add on the robinsons squash I've supped and the slim fast snack bars I scoffed when the kids went to bed - I said I'd need that choc fix and craig supplied me with four so I've one for tomorrow!! I also find it hard not to reach for the choc when my littlest is being a demon. He's tested me tonight and it's so hard not to 'reward' myself with a bag of sweets. I have two cakes to make for Saturday morning and I know tomorrow will be a toughie too - lemon curd, buttercream, lemon sponge off cuts. I'm salivating thinking about it but I shall be good. I will be good. Those size 14s won't even go up my calves right now I reckon, so when I look at those cake off cuts, smell that homemade lemon curd and whipped up buttercream, I'll remind myself that those size 14's will remain on a hanger never to be worn again if I don't stop 'rewarding' myself!
 
So day three begins :) I couldn't help it, I weighed myself first thing and the scales read 18st 12lbs! I decided to weigh myself at the same time as I weighed myself at my first weigh in as I know weight fluctuates through the day. But this means i've just one more pound to lose until I'm at last Augusts slimming world start weight! I know I'll feel slightly better once I reach that. My next mini milestone is reaching 18st 4lbs as that was my start weight at slimming world last April. After that it'll be 17st 7lbs because that's how much I weighed at a christening in August 2011. I know the loss will slow down considerably, maybe even plateau, but I must stay focused! I lose interest so quickly, give up way too easily but I really need to keep at this. I can't help having this niggling feeling that I'm only three days into it, who am I kidding that I can stick at it? Does anyone else have this or do you squash it with positive thoughts? :)
 
Aww thank you x I don't know what I'll do when I get to the point where I'm sticking to it but not losing anything! I hope I don't give up! It's so, so tempting to weigh yourself isn't it? I find if I don't weigh myself for a long time, the weight keeps on (as it has done!) and once I see the weight coming off properly, I'll calm it down! I think the first few weeks, I'm so eager to see them go down, that I'd weigh myself every hour if I could :) you're doing really well! There are so many inspiring people on here <3
 
Cakes are covered and ready for their embellishments! Had a sneaky taster of the lemon cake *lush* and a smidge of buttercream (sadly I have to do these things otherwise I'll not know what my customers are eating!) but other than that, I've been very good. The test will be tonight! Off to my cousins where we usually have a take away and consume tonnes of alcohol! Not tonight though for me! I'm eating before we go, taking a couple of snack bars with me and some bottled water. I don't want to feel like I've fallen at the first hurdle already! But, a glass or two of wine will not hurt me either!
 
Other people and takeaways are a nightmare! Now when my husband says he's getting one I leave him and the kids to it and go and have a bath or something and cake testing? That would be a killer for me! lol
My weight has gone up and down and then up again! I was having lots of sod it moments when weight goes on just after one meal out but am in a good frame of mind with it all at the moment. I gain weight so easily so think I'm gonna be forever on a diet or at least watching what I eat. One of my closest relationships is with the scales. Batteries went the other week. You can imagine what I was like! lol Have a lovely evening :)
 
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Other people and takeaways are a nightmare! Now when my husband says he's getting one I leave him and the kids to it and go and have a bath or something and cake testing? That would be a killer for me! lol
My weight has gone up and down and then up again! I was having lots of sod it moments when weight goes on just after one meal out but am in a good frame of mind with it all at the moment. I gain weight so easily so think I'm gonna be forever on a diet or at least watching what I eat. One of my closest relationships is with the scales. Batteries went the other week. You can imagine what I was like! lol Have a lovely evening :)

Oooh we had a take away and I had two poppadoms and some mango chutney and chicken tikka off the bone (dry pieces of chicken in a tikka marinade so not a saucy curry) punched it into my fitness pal and even with the wine, I still had 8 calories to spare lol! It was a fab night and didn't feel like I was missing out at all. I took two of my snack bars so I had munchies and even the take away was fine in the end. At least I know what to order if we ever get a curry :) I'm a sucker from freshly baked goods so really have to resist the temptation to sample warm cupcakes :D my killer will be tomorrow - a batch of 12 carrot cake cupcakes! I've a real craving for carrot cake at the mo and the smell of it is just divine! Oh lord, give me strength lol! We were up late today so have missed breakfast and don't really feel too hungry. We may have friends coming over tonight so I reckon it's another take away but I really don't fancy it at all! I might have a look at making some nibbles, it really fancy steak for tea mmmmmm wil go on a recipe hunt :) x
 
I am loving discovering things I like that I can have! Well done you on the curry and will power! Mhhhhh cupcakes! I just did my Asda shop and hate walking through the bakery section! But I will be thin by the end of the year so no can do! Good luck tonight xx
 
I was really surprised at the poppadoms and mango chutney being as low as they were! I'm sure as the weeks go on there'll be more! The kids were having some walkers French fries and I fancied a packet, looked at the calories and they're 85 per bag! Less than a SF snack bar :) oooh and I weighed myself today and they read 18st 11lbs! I just can't believe it! So happy today and feeling better already! We can do this, we well be thin and we will be gorgeous x
 
Friends have been and gone and we did have a takeaway :( I really didn't fancy it but hey! I'm 93 calories over my daily allowance too but not feeling too bad about it. On Thursday I was 783 calories under my allowance so I'll let it absorb today's extra! I'm really liking the my fitness pal app - it's keeping me on the ball and much easier than writing it all down and rifling through books to find their values in syns or points! Tomorrow we're treating the in laws to a carvery! Hey ho! I always knew weekends would be killers! :)
 
Ok, everyone's in bed and I'm still up hankering for chocolate! I will not cave in! I will have a glass of water and take myself off to bed!
 
Hope you stayed strong xxx fill up on veg at the carvery x
 
Thank you x I did, took myself straight up to bed :) I need to do some exercise today! Punched in what I'd have at the carvery and with my two snack bars, I'm just under my calorie allowance. I want to feel like I'm comfortably under it - makes me feel better :)
 
Just been reading your diary for a nose!

I face the same hurdles as you! Friends takeaways temptations etc!

Lets hope as you said in a years time it'll all be ancient history!

Well done stay strong and keep going xx
 
Weekends are the devil aren't they? So many temptations and it's so easy to say "ah, go on, we'll have a Chinese!" Instead of sticking to plan! This weekend for me has been quite stressful food wise! Friday was a long overdue get together with my cousin, Saturday a get together with friends who are emigrating to Australia and yesterday was dinner at Toby Carvery for my father in laws birthday.

Yesterday I spent three hours in the garden - not properly, manually gardening (mowing/weeding etc) but burning a load of branches/bushes we'd trimmed back! I punched 3 hours of gardening into my fitness pal and it came up that I'd burnt over 1000 calories! I don't think so! Anyway, I amended it so it felt a more sensible figure and I couldn't resist the huge Yorkshire put at Toby! Granted I shared my meal with my youngest, but still so shocked to find that one of those beauties is 330 calories! That's a weight watchers shepherds pie and a slimfast bar!

I'm so pleased this last weekend is over now though. Three food and drink fuelled days gone and can now look forward to this weekend - Grandma's 70th and cousins 21st. Why is it that when I have my head in gear to diet, obstacles such as parties, eating out or get togethers come in their droves. Yet since Christmas, we've had friends round twice and been out a handful of times! Think someone's trying to test me! I'm hoping to get the cross trainer back off my friends this weekend so I can do some extra exercise. I'm really scared of mummy tummy loose skin and flabby-ness once I've lost a decent amount of weight :(
 
Yesterday must have been gardening day!!
Well done you you are doing fab and glad you enjoyed your yorkie!!
x
 
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