Thread: Destination size 10.

Hi.. My names cornishwed.. and Im a binge eater, secret eater, selfish -no-share- eater, picky eater, emotional eater, mama to one, wife to be and desperate to get back in my size 10s.

Im no stranger to slimmingworld, even though it feels like it right now. Back in 2008 I walked into my first SW class. I never believed it would work, but it did. A few months later I found myself here and classes and this forum became a huge part of my life. It was key to my success. In September 2009 I made it to Young Slimmer of The Year final 6 and I was a perfect size 10. Happy and healthy. I successfully maintained my weightloss and then, in the following September I got engaged, and shortly after found out I was carrying our first baby. It's be an incredible couple of years. Our beautiful daughter arrived August 2011 and I have struggled *understatement* with my weight since. I lost a stone or so in the months following her birth with a new sw class, but lost my way and although I re-joined at Christmas, I gave up two weeks later and now.. it's march and my eating is the worst it's been in a really long time, my clothes don't fit and emotionally- it's getting to me big time. It's time to sort it out. As my nicname suggests, the wedding was originally planned for next year, however we've decided to push it to 2015. So although it's an aim, my main focus is my old wardrobe and my old self back.

I've been on one awful, self -destruct binge for at least 3 weeks now. Truth be told I feel Ill from the amount of crap I'm shoveling in.I suffer from IBS- or atleast i did when I was bigger, it went when I lost the weight, and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks a few months back and eczema. I leave for holiday on Monday, but I can't go on like this and I can't face another week of chocolate, biscuits, and general rubbish. It's self catering, so I've done our food shop and prepared.. It's time! Anyone who is a binge eater will identify with the inability to stop consuming rubbish, even though we don't really want it. It makes no sense, does it?

anyways, enough rambling!



So here I am!
We leave for hols on Monday, and I have planned:

Monday: Burgers & Chips with balsamic salad.
Tuesday: Paprika chicken with wild rice and steamed veg
Wednesday: chilli con carni
Thursday: OH's birthday, so I expect we will eat out.
Friday: Home! Jacket spuds.


I've also picked up some gorgeous fruit, alpens, yogurts and hot choc sachets.

Im not expecting it to be plain sailing on holiday, but we'll see. I suspect I will need classes to keep on the straight and narrow but I work 11 hour days so this is tough. I think for aslong as I can I will do it from home, I have the up to date books and hopefully can tap into the wealth of knowledge from fellow minimins members ;-)


Wish me luck. I need to 'officially' weigh so I know my actually starting weight, my stats atm are a guess though i suspect most likely correct.

xxxxx

so I thought id set a few goals....don't know where your going without a map, do you! :-)


I'd like to be 11st something, preferably 11.8 by june. I have my best friends hen do and my weight is ruining my sekf confidence and right now im quite nervous. it's nothing wild, but the thought of having my picture taken makes me feel sick!

I'd like to reach the 10s by October

Target 10st or under by new year. (or a size 10)

xx

Off on holiday tomorrow, have my SW shop ready. Though SIL phoned to say she'd 'picked up lots of goodies' .. eep. Ive got my new SW mag to hand, hopefully i'll be OK.

Might see if I can find a boots en route or something I can quick weigh in. Im feeling so big at the minute, like actually uncomfortable. It really is horrible.

Tried the new lemon alpen lights, Yummers :-)

X

Ok, so im back from a lovely holibobs. But i never managed the week on plan. *sigh* It was near impossible and I didn't fight it.

My coat doesn't do up.. my clothes are tight and Im out of breathe. The active holiday really bought home how unfit I am, and how unhappy I really, really am.

I planned to go it alone but I'm not sure I trust myself.. so after work tomorrow Im heading to group (7:30 weigh in)

I weighed in boots on the Monday we left and was 12st 13. I imagine to be 13.3, if not more now.... Getting weighed tomorrow night makes me feel sick. Ive done a food shop, so will officially start tomorrow and remember that whatever the scales say, its just the starting point and it will only get better from here.

It feels like a long journey ahead, and I feel sad that i'm back here.


plan for tomorrow:
B: 2 alpen light bars- new cherry bakewell flavour- yum!

snacks, fruit and shape zero yogurts.

L: Uncle bens bean rice and salad. (syns anyone?)

D: Jacket potatoe, cheese and beans HEA

I have a small portion of left over chilli I may add to the rice for lunch, as I work a long day.. 11 hours + an hours drive there and back.

Aiming for lots of water... planned syns .. chilli 1.5 (share of shwartz packet) hartleys low cal jelly 1/2 syn.

Will report back tomorrow after class. X

Glad you had a good holiday. Good luck at group tomorrow

oh my goodness...I am hank marrrvin!

b : banana, 2 alpens (heb)

1 shape yogurt, 2 clementines.

have forgotten to bring chilli to work with me, doh! I do have my rice though. may have to pick something extra up at Tescos. not sure what though. ..I wont leave work till 6 and fatclub isn't till 7:30 . do I snack and have a late dinner or eat dinner before hand? I probably don't want to eat dinner before weighing from next week as could show false on scales having just eaten a big meal? just realised my SF will be low today as also didn't pack salad for my rice..not very well organised today. .very tired! anyways..shall report back later and note my real starting weight once weighed. X

My MIL seriously called SW - that fat club -- ---

Do you weigh in then start anew from there - forget last week and keep away from the "rubbish" counter in Tesco no matter how loud it shouts to you.

Good luck at group, here to follow x

I survived tesco! lol success no1. picked up a mexican chilli rice time as im 99% sure they were advertised in a sw mag once... can someone find me syns for the uncke bens bean rice and the rice time? xx

hi lovelys. so I return from class, I weigh in at 13.3 1/2 (freakily accurate to my guess huh!) disappointed in myself, but I enjoyed IT tonight and am looking forward to getting a nice loss to motivate me.


jacket pud in oven. ...will check in tomorrow. x

Well done on going back to class, I know it can be really hard when you've been there before and had a big loss.
Looking forward to a great loss for you next week

The rice time is 1.5 syns x

In your OP you said you were buying hot choc sachets - if you drink them all the time get some from £1 shop Cadburys Highlights 40cal ones - make sure it says that on the side as they sell 2 different ones.
2 SYNS a mug full. I don't drink tea or coffee and these are my life savers, keeps me away from bars of chocolate as well.

awesome thanks nellylou... hopefully I shant bore you all with ayn queries now I have the website access again.

thanks for the supporr guys, I sure need it!

today:

banana, clementine & 2x. alpen lights (heb)

Hartley jelly 1/2 syn

jacket spud from spudulike, cheese & beans (hea)

apple x2



gammon, sw chips, huge salad with balsamic vinegar. ketchup 2 syns.
ketchup 2syns. hot choc 3 (2 for sachet one for dash of milk!)
I nibbled my girls cheese sarnie (bad habit must pay attention to!) about 3 small bites, unknown value so will just count as days syns.


:-) 5. 5 syns + naughty nibbles

Hey your welcome Food looking good today, do you feel good being back on plan? So far I'm having a good week and really aiming for a loss on Friday x

I think so! its felt ..um...I dunno, normal..old..familiar? equally ive had moments where ive seen somthing I want ( smoothie bar..cookie bar...chocolate while getting petrol..garlic bread at spud u like) and thought..maybe I could just start again tomorrow! but deep down I knew..and reminded myself..each day I do that is another day of my life wasted being unhappy, overweight and unable to give my daughter my all physically. shes an active little thing and seeing her dad run after her loads makes me feel so guilty. until recently I felt like I was a really good mum, doing everything I could to ensure the absolute best for her ( imo!) but I feel like a failure, knowing if id just laid off the cakes id be at target now and Is be the best mum possible. its a truly horrible feeling... she turns 2 in August. . ive got 5 months and I want 2 st atleast off by then. ........I was determined to be at target by her 1st...now im over a stone hwavier. disgusted with myself.


anyways. .sorry for the ramble.. ..I guess if I write it here, I can look back and remind myaelf why im here. x