ive done so well over the last 2 months but im not sure what has happened to me this last two days, i have just for no reason gone into a freefall binge i was at one point writing a food diary everyday on the offical sw website but my internet connection is sooooooooo slowwwwwwwwww the page kept timing out so in the end i got cheesed off with waiting
i have also come to the end of my 6mths course of cbt and am kinda begining to worry that im not gonna be able to cope standing on me own two feet without the therepist to fall back on, (it kinda feels like she and everyone else has the confidence that i have changed my habbits and my life style from how it was 6 months ago but i personally think yeah i have done a few things to change my life ( i have come out about my sexuality at work and have also done a lot of work on accepting that the abuse i suffered as a child was not my fault) but hey to me they dont feel like no big thing.
it kinda feels like everything is going to well for me (im not used ta life running so smoove ) that i just have ta hit the self distuct button to put a few bumps in the road a head I hope someone here understands that
its late at night and im just rambeling i know but rather than go raid the biscuit tin or the chockie box for the second if not third time today im just randomly typing to occupy myself hoping that i can make some kind of sense of the crazyness going around in my head
ive decided that i need to get back to diarying everyday thats what helps to keep me on track if i see what i have eaten written down in front of me in black and white and the fact that i know other ppl will be reading it here will also help
so as of tomorrow im going to add my food diary to this thread and also going to use it to keep count of my daily syns
i was at one point going to the gym a couple of times a week which i havent done for a whille due to an ankle injury, although haveing had a dose of steriods injected as a pain killer directly into the foot on tuesday im guessing after soreness of the needle has gone and the steriod has kicked in it will be all stations go again for me so as of monday (hopefully) ill be adding an excersize post as well to my diary
sorry for the late night rambelling it all seemed to make sense at the time
wish me luck guys and i hope that atleast one person reads this !!
Well its now sunday night and the badness has continued but as of 11.59 and 59 seconds IT MUST STOP. a new week a new beginning
remember TJ thoose new 24 jeans and top ya just bought wont fit if ya keep going the way you are and it will be back to the hells of size 32 and ya dont want that do you?