cocktailprincess

Controlling emotional eating, episode 1

Visit to Starbucks this evening for a pre-planned latte and low fat cake- the girl said she would give me 2 pieces of cake as one was only small. My initial reaction was one of excitement, followed by 'I only need to syn this as one portion as I only asked for one' followed by guilt, followed by me thinking about what I have read today and then eating enough to satisfy my appetite and actually LEAVING WHAT WAS LEFT!!!!!!!!

Hooray! Stage 1 done- lets see what tomorrow brings

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kristin1

Yay you! How did it feel?! How did you feel?! That's really good, well done.

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kristin

cocktailprincess

Quite liberating as it was so against character for me to leave any food.

Again, another possible reason for my eating problems is that we were very poor growing up and taught never to leave any food and any 'nice' food was seen as a massive treat and very rare.
I don't eat stressed or angry- am more likely to eat when happy- it enhances my happiness and re-inforces in my mind how well I have done to have the ability to treat myself- so leaving food, especially cake which I haven't paid for is very strange for me!
x

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charlottegrace1

Well done you, that was fantastic. Not particularly the leaving the cake (but obviously that is brilliant) but the fact that you stopped and thought about it. That is real progress in the right direction. Shows it can be done and we live to tell the tale.

I totally understand what you are saying about eating when happy. I think my problems stem from childhood. If I was good, I'd get an icecream, or sweets. If I was hurt, I'd get an icecream or a cake. Everything was consoled/rewarded with food of some sort. I have grown to associate emotions with food now and its become a habbit, so now I have 2 battles to win.
This week I have really tried to listen to my body and if I feel hungry and its not meal time, I have made myself a drink and done something for 20 mins or so and the hunger has passed. There was a post somewhere about having 2 stomaches, the real one and the phantom one. I am learing at the moment to not let my phantom one get the better of me and so far so good. I am still thinking about food an awefull lot though but thinking and eating it are two different things and so long as the latter doesn't get the better of me, I'm winning. I have even managed not to eat between meals this week which is a first for me.

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2010 progress lost 20.2lb

1st goal loose 5lb done 09/01/10
2nd goal loose 10lb done 13/02/10
3rd goal loose 14lb done
4th goal loose 21 lbs (0.8lb needed)
4th goal to have less than 100lb to loose done
5th goal to achieve club 10 (26lbs in totoal needed) 5.8lb needed
6th goal to have less than 90lb to loose

January loss 6lb February loss 8.5lb March Gain 0.7lb April 5lbs May

Total to loose 114.4lb - total left 94.2lb

soccermom

Hi

I'm new to this forum and have been lurking a little this morning and reading posts, reading this has really struck a chord with me as it sums me up perfectly...I am a food addict.

I was directed to this site when I tried the cambridge diet, which left me occassionally ill with low bp despite following it to the letter.

Now I am looking for a more "sensible" approach and going to try the SW programme so I can teach myself to eat sensibly and try and gain a healthy relationship with food, unfortunately for me there is no local class starting until next Tuesday so I am trying to get all the inspiration and info I can before then.

I really need to break the destructive cycle I am in now and really need help to address these issues.

So thanks for posting the original message it has really hit home

I am definitely hoping to be around a long time I have a lot to lose

Kaye

kristin1

Hi and welcome, Kaye! Well done on accepting this insight, and good luck on your weightloss journey (in your body and your mind!), we're always here for each other.

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kristin

cocktailprincess

Hi Kaye

Well done on doing recognising your problem and something about it. I think wanting to do something about an eating disorder (which is basically what we have!) is a much more powerful approach than wanting to get thin.

Being overweight is just a SYMPTOM of our problem, not the cause (although it is the bit that everyone else can see, so feels the most important). If we tackle the cause then the symptoms should be slowly removed

Good luck and stick around, mate
x

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soccermom

Thank you so much for the welcome Kristin

Thank you for that and to be honest I think I will be around for a while, I having nothing to lose by doing so, except of course for the lbs and everything to gain (knowledge wise)

x

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Kaye

charlottegrace1

Hi Kaye, welcome to SW and to minimins. Pleased this thread was usefull to you and hopefully during the learning curve, problems can be recognised and sorted out.


I was soo pleased with myself last night, had a bit of family barney, and after it had all died down I was left feeling absolutely drained and I actually said to myself I need some comfort food. But just a quickly as I had that thought, I managed to knock it into touch. I asked myself why, will I feel better later on, am I hungry, will it solve anything, will it actually make me feel better. The answer to all the questions is an unresounding NO, and do you know, instantly I just moved on from that moment of weakness. I thought about it around about 20mins later and felt so pleased with myself for getting a hold on the situation, but not only that, I acutally felt empowered. I was doing the "see you can do it if you apply yourself" talk.

This week has been a good week for me, felt more in control (apart from last night, but I won the day on that one), but isn't it easy when things are going right. Loosing weight is always easy when the pounds are comming off, its when the humps and bumps come along that its difficult. But even then, it shouldn't be difficult should it? Is it that we cann't accept we are not perfect every minute of every day, so have to punish ourselves for having an extra slice of bread or something? Sometimes, I feel like unless I am beating myself up about slip ups, then I am not dieting, cos the two go together, right?. Its got to be a more healthy relationship with food to accept there will be times when you have a little extra, but thats ok to do that as long as it is only odd times, and I don't need to punish myself for having it.
As I already said, its been a good week so far for me, I have not snacked between meals, I have eaten very sensible food, and I have made an effort to variey breakfasts and lunches. The early part of the week had a few dodgy times when I could have eaten between meals, but asking myself if I was really hungry after what I had eaten at the previous meal (and answering NO)really helped me to focus on why I thought I wanted something to eat. I just had a drink and worked through it. Its paid off, I have not snacked and I seem on a more even keel mood wise too. There hasn't been the highs and lows like there usually is during the day, which I think has deffinately helped with me thinking about food all the time. Body sugars must be liking something I'm doing. So the plan is to get through the weekend doing more of the same and see how I deal with it. Weekends are always more stressfull with the house full etc and while I can stay focused on the matter in hand in peace and quiet during the week, its another when times are more demanding and thats when I am in danger of not being able to make myself hear whats right for me.

Anyway, sorry Kaye for rambling on about this on your welcome message, hope to get to know you much better. xx

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2010 progress lost 20.2lb

1st goal loose 5lb done 09/01/10
2nd goal loose 10lb done 13/02/10
3rd goal loose 14lb done
4th goal loose 21 lbs (0.8lb needed)
4th goal to have less than 100lb to loose done
5th goal to achieve club 10 (26lbs in totoal needed) 5.8lb needed
6th goal to have less than 90lb to loose

January loss 6lb February loss 8.5lb March Gain 0.7lb April 5lbs May

Total to loose 114.4lb - total left 94.2lb

cocktailprincess

Amazing! Congratulations.

You are so right when you said we only feel like we dieting when we are beating ourselves up- all part of years worth of conditioning. I agree that occasionally 'normal' people overeat, but don't seem to nag themselves about it- they just shrug and move on.

My week was mostly good. I remember saying in an earlier post that I didn't overeat when I was angry- well I suppose I have to reassess that! I was very on plan this week with the exception of Thursday night when me and hubby went out for a meal- had planned lovely sushi but we had a row beforehand. This was all settled before the meal but I then decided I needed a 'treat' so went somewhere different and had, among other things chips.

Now, I actually thought it through at the time and considered that I wasn't eating because I was angry at all, I was simply ordering exactly what I wanted to eat which is just being normal around food -the fact that I ordered chips suggests otherwise!

On a positive note, I didn't eat all the chips, and just had mint tea instead of dessert, and I synned everything when I came home- and because I had stuck to plan so well this week, it hasn't put me over my syns, so I didn't really feel too guilty

Wel done again, Charlottgrace- inspiring!
x

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soccermom

You ramble away.. you deserve to, I hope I am in that kind of thought process when the down times come my way, which they inevitably will do

congratulations and well done for staying on the right path, oh and thanks for the welcome to, I really appreciate it

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Kaye

charlottegrace1

Hey Cocktail, I found your post very inspiring despite the fact you had chips. In fact, that's the reason I found it inspirational, you wanted chips, you assessed the situation and thought about it, you had chips, but didn't feel the need to eat them all just because they were on the plate. That to me is a healthy approach to food. And, you haven't gone over your syns which is a bonus. You do not need to feel guilty at all never mind a little bit, you have done great.

On a sadder note, there was me posting how brilliantly I was doing this week, and how I should be able to cope with the difficulties that come along, (cos I can now talk to myself and tell myself to be in control etc right?), well Saturday afternoon my mum was taken into hospital again, and I fell flat on my face last night. That strong little voice that has been there all week was no where to be seen and the demon on my shoulder was just having it all his own way. In the space of an hour I ate, 1 large bowl of cheap ice cream with sprinkles, 6 rich tea biscuits, 3oz cheese, bag of quavers, and a sandwich. I was not hungry as I had only had my tea an hour before of fish pie and peas, but my reaction to the news about my mum turned into some sort of SAS commando raid on the fridge. Now my mum is in hospital but she is not seriously ill if you know what I mean, she has to have fluid drained off her lungs, but she is not terminally ill or anything, and if my reaction to the news is to derail this easily, its really scary to think what I would be like with really disastrous news. I feel very disappointed with myself, but lesson learned, I will not be so cocky this week, and be more on guard for the unexpected. On a positive note, I am pleased that I have thought about what has happened, reasoned it out and am not beating myself up about it even though I was disapointed. I am not even going to try and pull back any damage 'cos I feel that would be putting too much preasure on myself, so I am just moving on and getting right back on track. I have been brilliant all week food wise, so I don't think 1 little slip will do too much damage in the grand scheme of things. We will see Monday lol. At least today is another day and I feel good about things again now, and in control.

__________________

2010 progress lost 20.2lb

1st goal loose 5lb done 09/01/10
2nd goal loose 10lb done 13/02/10
3rd goal loose 14lb done
4th goal loose 21 lbs (0.8lb needed)
4th goal to have less than 100lb to loose done
5th goal to achieve club 10 (26lbs in totoal needed) 5.8lb needed
6th goal to have less than 90lb to loose

January loss 6lb February loss 8.5lb March Gain 0.7lb April 5lbs May

Total to loose 114.4lb - total left 94.2lb

charlottegrace1

Thanks, but as you can see from previous post, that thought process was short lived in a crisis. Live and learn!

__________________

2010 progress lost 20.2lb

1st goal loose 5lb done 09/01/10
2nd goal loose 10lb done 13/02/10
3rd goal loose 14lb done
4th goal loose 21 lbs (0.8lb needed)
4th goal to have less than 100lb to loose done
5th goal to achieve club 10 (26lbs in totoal needed) 5.8lb needed
6th goal to have less than 90lb to loose

January loss 6lb February loss 8.5lb March Gain 0.7lb April 5lbs May

Total to loose 114.4lb - total left 94.2lb

kristin1

*hugs*

Well done for fessing up, that's why we have this issue with food, because when something happens (and whatever it is gets bad enough) we do just go off the rail completely food-wise. Not just SW-wise but generally! Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and get on with it again tomorrow.

Hope your mum gets better soon, and you know if things had been different throughout the rest of the week, this may have passed and you might have held off with the food still!

It'll always be a live-and-learn situation for us, but I think even if we just notice that binges get less frequent (or even the urge to), and we face up to our emotions more, things are clearly improving.

Thanks for sharing this with us, I know it must be hard.

Thinking of you, take care, be well,

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kristin

cocktailprincess

Well said!

I think it woild have been VERY strange if this week we had all read an article, accepted our eating disorder completely and then cured decades of food abuse in a matter of days. This is going to be a long process. We have years of behaviour to unlearn.

Measure your success by the battles you win, not the ones you lose, charlottegrace (and hope your Mum is ok)

Good luck to us all this week for our battles ahead!

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