I would never belittle anyone for their phobias as I have one myself that I have never overcome. I cannot use an escalator. Not for any amount of money could I use one and no one has ever been able to persuade me otherwise. It has now amplified to the old fashioned aircraft steps. I just about make those but go into panic mode inside myself if I have to stop near the top.
You have taken the first step by putting yours into writing on here and asking for help. I hope someone on here can help you and that it is not one of those threads that get ignored.
I have seen programmes on the television where people have been helped to get over their phobias so it is possible.
www.phobias-gone.com YourName Home
I hope these help you and that you can get on with your life and enjoy it.
Incidentally, I am sure that if you cannot afford to pay for counselling you can ask your doctor about paid for help.