Results 1 to 8 of 8
Like Tree7Likes
  • 5 Post By Kay003
  • 1 Post By KMD
  • 1 Post By Kay003

Thread: A Womans Week At The Gym :D

  1. #1
    Im always here!
    half century
    Kay003's Avatar
    Join Date
    31st January, 2013
    Location
    London
    Posts
    12,791
    Rep Power
    192
    Diet: Slimming World
    Height: 5ft5in
    Start Date: 02/01/2013
    Start Weight: 16st1lb
    Current Weight: 11st12lb
    Goal Weight: 10st0lb
    Goal Date: 30/04/2015


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 37.4
    Current BMI: 27.6
    Goal BMI: 23.3


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 4st3lb
    Weight to Lose: 1st12lb
    % Lost 26.22%

    A Womans Week At The Gym :D

    Hi Everyone ,

    Being on plan can be hard at times, and so there is nothing like a good laugh to cheer us all up . The following short story had me in splits today . I just wanted to share it with you all. I came across it on the net. IT REALLY MADE MY DAY !!!


    For all of you who have tried getting into a routine at the gym.....

    A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

    If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.


    Dear Diary,

    For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

    Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try..

    I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

    My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.


    ________________________________
    MONDAY:

    Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

    Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillfull way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

    Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!


    ________________________________
    TUESDAY:

    I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

    _______________________________
    WEDNESDAY:

    The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the tooth brush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

    My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other sh*t too.

    ____________________________
    THURSDAY:

    Asshole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.

    He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny ***** to find me..

    Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

    _________________________________
    FRIDAY:

    I hate that ******* Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anaemic, anorexic little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

    Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

    The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

    __________________________
    SATURDAY:

    Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even to use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.


    ________________________________
    SUNDAY:

    I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with chocolate!!!
    Last edited by Kay003 : 15th August, 2013 at 09:19 AM



    Countdown to 2015 ! Quarterly Challenge - Oct to Dec .
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...d-one-all.html

    Kay's Soup Challenge
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...e-oct-mar.html

    Kay's journey to health and happiness - My Diary.
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...happiness.html
    A Catalogue Of Indian Recipes - Contents Page Link
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...many-more.html

    X14


  2. #2
    I will be a Princess!

    dudette2001uk's Avatar
    Join Date
    22nd April, 2010
    Location
    Pembroke Dock
    Posts
    7,438
    Rep Power
    268
    Diet: Slimming World
    Height: 5ft6in
    Start Date: 19/9/2014
    Start Weight: 16st13lb
    Current Weight: 16st10.5lb
    Goal Weight: 11st0lb
    Goal Date: Slow and steady wins the race...


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 38.2
    Current BMI: 37.8
    Goal BMI: 24.9


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 0st2.5lb
    Weight to Lose: 5st10.5lb
    % Lost 1.05%

    Re: A Womans Week At The Gym :D

    I love this! xx


    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...ml#post6845095

    Goal 1: Lose 0.5 stone
    Goal 2: Lose 1 stone
    Goal 3: Lose 1.5 stone
    Goal 4: Lose 2 stone
    Goal 5: Lose 2.5 stone
    Goal 6: Lose 3 stone




    Start weight (19/09/2014): 16 stone 13lb (237lb)

    Week 1: -2.5lb (16 stone 10.5lb)
    Week 2: +1lb (16 stone 11.5lb)
    Week 3: - 1lb (16 stone 10.5lb)



  3. #3
    Im always here!
    half century
    Kay003's Avatar
    Join Date
    31st January, 2013
    Location
    London
    Posts
    12,791
    Rep Power
    192
    Diet: Slimming World
    Height: 5ft5in
    Start Date: 02/01/2013
    Start Weight: 16st1lb
    Current Weight: 11st12lb
    Goal Weight: 10st0lb
    Goal Date: 30/04/2015


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 37.4
    Current BMI: 27.6
    Goal BMI: 23.3


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 4st3lb
    Weight to Lose: 1st12lb
    % Lost 26.22%
    Quote Originally Posted by dudette2001uk View Post
    I love this! xx
    Glad you found it funny .

    Kay xx



    Countdown to 2015 ! Quarterly Challenge - Oct to Dec .
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...d-one-all.html

    Kay's Soup Challenge
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...e-oct-mar.html

    Kay's journey to health and happiness - My Diary.
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...happiness.html
    A Catalogue Of Indian Recipes - Contents Page Link
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...many-more.html

    X14


  4. #4
    Regular Member

    Join Date
    28th February, 2013
    Posts
    94
    Rep Power
    2
    Diet: Slimming world
    Height: 5ft5in
    Start Date: 19th July 2013
    Start Weight: 14st8.5lb
    Current Weight: 13st13.0lb
    Goal Weight: 10st0lb
    Goal Date: Whenever


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 34
    Current BMI: 32.4
    Goal BMI: 23.3


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 0st9.5lb
    Weight to Lose: 3st13lb
    % Lost 4.65%
    Lol love it x











    HTML Code:





    WEEK 1 - 2.5
    WEEK 2- 3.0
    WEEK 3- 0.5
    WEEK 4 STS
    WEEK 5 ON HOLS
    WEEK 6 ON HOLS
    WEEK 7 -2
    WEEK 8 -1.5
    WEEK 9 +2
    WEEK 10 -1.5
    WEEK 11 -0.5
    WEEK 12 +0.5

  5. #5
    Im always here!
    half century
    Kay003's Avatar
    Join Date
    31st January, 2013
    Location
    London
    Posts
    12,791
    Rep Power
    192
    Diet: Slimming World
    Height: 5ft5in
    Start Date: 02/01/2013
    Start Weight: 16st1lb
    Current Weight: 11st12lb
    Goal Weight: 10st0lb
    Goal Date: 30/04/2015


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 37.4
    Current BMI: 27.6
    Goal BMI: 23.3


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 4st3lb
    Weight to Lose: 1st12lb
    % Lost 26.22%
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatladyslim View Post
    Lol love it x
    Glad you liked it ! I think this sums personal trainers up ! lol



    Countdown to 2015 ! Quarterly Challenge - Oct to Dec .
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...d-one-all.html

    Kay's Soup Challenge
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...e-oct-mar.html

    Kay's journey to health and happiness - My Diary.
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...happiness.html
    A Catalogue Of Indian Recipes - Contents Page Link
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...many-more.html

    X14


  6. #6
    KMD
    KMD is offline
    Really Really likes to post!

    Join Date
    5th March, 2014
    Posts
    1,100
    Rep Power
    12
    Diet: Calorie Counting
    Height: 5ft8in
    Start Date: 20th January 2014
    Start Weight: 12st5.0lb
    Current Weight: 11st12.4lb
    Goal Weight: 9st7lb
    Goal Date: 18th August 2014


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 26.3
    Current BMI: 25.3
    Goal BMI: 20.2


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 0st6.6lb
    Weight to Lose: 2st5.4lb
    % Lost 3.82%
    Hahaha! Kay! You'll get me into trouble! I'm sat at work reading this and couldn't help laughing out loud! Everyone was like what are you laughing at haha. Love this! xx

  7. #7
    Im always here!
    half century
    Kay003's Avatar
    Join Date
    31st January, 2013
    Location
    London
    Posts
    12,791
    Rep Power
    192
    Diet: Slimming World
    Height: 5ft5in
    Start Date: 02/01/2013
    Start Weight: 16st1lb
    Current Weight: 11st12lb
    Goal Weight: 10st0lb
    Goal Date: 30/04/2015


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 37.4
    Current BMI: 27.6
    Goal BMI: 23.3


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 4st3lb
    Weight to Lose: 1st12lb
    % Lost 26.22%
    Quote Originally Posted by KMD View Post
    Hahaha! Kay! You'll get me into trouble! I'm sat at work reading this and couldn't help laughing out loud! Everyone was like what are you laughing at haha. Love this! xx
    Glad it cheered u up hun !

    Kay xx
    KMD likes this.



    Countdown to 2015 ! Quarterly Challenge - Oct to Dec .
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...d-one-all.html

    Kay's Soup Challenge
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...e-oct-mar.html

    Kay's journey to health and happiness - My Diary.
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...happiness.html
    A Catalogue Of Indian Recipes - Contents Page Link
    http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...many-more.html

    X14


  8. #8
    Really Really likes to post!
    century club
    emma_88's Avatar
    Join Date
    21st August, 2013
    Location
    Cumbria
    Posts
    1,343
    Rep Power
    15
    Diet: Slimming World
    Height: 5ft6in
    Start Date: 18/09/2012
    Start Weight: 18st7.5lb
    Current Weight: 10st7lb
    Goal Weight: 10st7lb
    Goal Date: Here and loving it! :)


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 41.9
    Current BMI: 23.7
    Goal BMI: 23.7


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 8st0.5lb
    % Lost 43.35%
    Hahaha! Had me in stiches, so funny!

    Thanks for posting Kay xx
    Tuesday weigher

    ** TARGET MEMBER **
    (8 stone lost for good)

    Emma's Weight Loss Diary...






Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.