Thread: Getting out of my Pickle!

Hello everyone,

Apologies in advance as this first entry may be a little babblesome!

Let me begin by telling you that I have spent 15 years dieting.. and all I have lost is 15 years. I am 30 years old and on April 17th this year I weighed in at a massive 22st 3lbs. I have been living a half-life; not having photographs taken with my (now teenage) children as they were growing up, being the bag lady at theme parks, pretending I'm chilly when everyone else is stripping off in the sun just so I can keep my cardigan on (and sweat like a b*tch in the process). Enough was really enough.

2012 started with the news that I was pregnant. My OH and I had been trying for over a year as we had an ectopic pregnancy in October 2010 which devastated us. We were thrilled to be pregnant again and anxiously awaited the 6-week scan (standard protocol when there has been a previous ectopic.) Without wishing to dwell on things too heavily, we had repeat scans for several weeks before finally a missed miscarriage was diagnosed at 9.5 weeks and I had surgery in February. I hit an all-time low. I was devastated over the loss of another baby, feeling insecure in my relationship, and hating my body for a multitude of reasons. Between February and April we made the painful decision to stop trying for a baby because, frankly, neither of us is mentally strong enough to deal with another loss. I then realised that I had to shape a life that was different from the one we had planned. And my first step had to be getting healthy.

On April 17th I joined Slimming World, and now, 37 days on, I am 1st 12lbs lighter. I have to be honest and tell you that, for the first time ever, it has been easy. I have challenged myself to give it everything I have, 100%, for 100 days. And I am so excited to see what my loss will be at the end of my challenge. Of course, then I'll challenge myself to another 100 days

I have never found dieting easy. I have (had?) an incredibly destructive relationship with food that has been a factor all my life. I was officially diagnosed as having Binge Eating Disorder some years ago which just gave me the green light to perpetuate the very act that was making me miserable. I don't know what's changed, really, other than to say that I am tired. I'm tired of hating my body, of feeling not good enough, of existing instead of living. So, here I am, and although I can barely see any difference in my body right now, I know it's coming. And, I'm a million miles away from the incredibly depressed woman of 37 days ago. That's it. In 5 weeks I have changed my life.. now I just have to keep going whilst my body catches up with my head.

well done, you are doing so well, its amazing what SW can acheive, not just a change physically but mentally too. Keep going, you are doing great

Thank you You're doing rather marvellously yourself! X

Day 38 of 100%


We're off on a day trip tomorrow. There will be dolphins. This is most exciting!

In the past, day-trips have meant either calorie-laden fast food or picnics heaving with pastries, cakes and white-bread sandwiches. Today I have eagerly prepared a Slimming World picnic of quiche, pasta salad, fruit salad, ham salad, Weight Watchers Petit Pain (hexB), eggs and various cooked meats. Everyone else will have added luxuries such as chocolate brownies and sweets for the journey; but I'm absolutely okay with that.

The beautiful (but tres hot) weather is reinforcing my desire to see this journey through to the end. This is my last fat summer. Next summer I shall be parading around the house in skimpy shorts and shaking what my mama gave me

Have a wonderful day, all

X

I'm off out tomorrow too i am going off plan though, decided that weeks ago

Pickle, I'm really please you've started a diary, I've seen you flash up on different thread and been amazed at your weight loss and impresed by your commitment to your 100% plan. Well done you.

I look forward to reading your diary and being inspired by you.

Take Care x

Hi - I'm so pleased I've found your diary, do you mind if I follow it? I have one too, feel free to have a look, it's called 'Hello!' Well done for your achievements so far, what you wrote in your first post was so honest and I could see you were really positive and motivated. I like the idea of the 100% for 100 days, don't know if I'm strong enough though! I like my little treat on a Thursday night after weigh-in. Looking forward to seeing all of your successes x

Thank you for the replies

It's now day 40 of 100%.

We had a wonderful day trip to West Wales yesterday, despite the fact that I was the only family member not to indulge in a, frankly, orgasmic looking ice-cream. Still, I held my resolve and felt incredibly proud of myself. In reality, I could have had one and just counted the syns (or rather, guesstimated the syns) but it's really important to me to see this 100 days through, and playing guess-work or going over my daily syns just isn't part of my plan.

This morning has been a cleaning fest. My OH has scrubbed every inch of the bathroom to within an inch of its, and his, life; this is very unusual! He isn't a hands-on-housework type of guy. I've busied myself spring-cleaning the kitchen and getting rid of clutter from various rooms but we still have lots to do. Such a shame to waste a sunny day on housework, though!

I had a little NSV yesterday, too. A pair of 3/4 jeans that previously wouldn't even meet in the middle (let alone do up) actually fitted. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

Hope you are all enjoying the sunshine

Hi pickle, I like your diary title your opening entry was so honest and I'm sure you will carry on doing as well as you are. 40 days at a 100% is amazing. And brilliant nsv

Hello everyone

Day 43 at 100%. I lost 2.5lbs at weigh-in yesterday and, for the first time, I was actually a little disappointed! I've been having some amazing losses and, the amount of weight I have to lose, 2.5lbs is not much at all. My OH reasoned with me somewhat: I've been on antibiotics all week for an ear infection, I haven't been to the gym due to said ear infection making me dizzy, I'm having some lady problems.. but I still stamped my feet. I've been 100%, dammit. I want to lose 5 stone a week. Lol

In other news, I did get my 2 stone award which, in 6 weeks, is not too shabby

Today I have an EMA to write for my Open University course. Literally, I just have today. It's due in tomorrow. I am such a doofus.

Have an awesome day, guys X

Loving your diary so far pickle

And LISTEN 2.5lbs off is 2.5lbs closer to your goal! Dont knock it! x

Wow 2 stone in 6 weeks is amazing. I couldn't manage 1 stone in 6 weeks. Sts this week agreeing being really good an loads of walking/wii fit! You are doing really well x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

Morning all

Day 45 of 100%

I'm actually feeling really rubbish today. As a reward for losing 2 stone, I went to get my hair done yesterday. I had 12" of long, dark hair chopped off and had it dyed chocolate brown with honey and caramel highlights. When my OH came home, he said 'bit ginger, isn't it?'. He did back-track a little and say he liked the cut, he was just being honest about the colour blah blah.. and we generally have a really close, loving relationship. But, I feel awful.
I was/am gutted. I've barely spoken to him since. I'm not pi**ed off, more upset. I tried to explain to him that he is the one person in the world who is supposed to make me feel good about myself and yet he made me feel like sh*t. It's not really the hair (well it is, but, you know) it's the fact that he doesn't think I look good. And the fact that what started out as a really positive day ended with me feeling really self-conscious.
I hate my hair now, btw. *Sigh*

Day 46 of 100%

Hello I'm feeling much happier today! The OH has been punished enough, ish. Haha!
I'm quite liking the hair today, too.

Yesterday I bought donuts and gateau from Greggs for everyone, and didn't even consider having anything myself. It's become a normal part of my routine to not have certain things, or look for them.

People are starting to make comments about my weight loss. This is good news! I can't wait until I can see it myself.

Have an awesome day X

Day 50 of 100%

Weigh-in was today instead of yesterday due to the Bank Holiday; and, well worth the wait!! I lost 5.5lbs this week taking me into the next stone bracket, gaining SOTW and Club 10. I feel amazing. This is really working!!