From fat to fit and fabulous! started 9th Sept. '12

Bella Cullen

Full Member
I only joined sw on Monday and weighed in at 22st 12lb. I was disgusted with myself when I stepped on those scales. Truly disgusted not to mentioned embarrassed that my poor husband has had to live with me looking like this (not that he's said a word about it). I've realised I'm setting a shocking example to my two girls (14 and 4) and if I want to live to see them grow up and not end up riddled with all sorts of severe medical conditions then I need to do something about it.

I really want to buy clothes that I love and not just because they fit - which is a feat in itself because you can be fat and small, or just fat and average height but fat and tall? nah. i want to not have to plan an outfit months in advance of a special occasion because I know it'll take that long to find things to fit. It's got so bad I've started getting things made to measure for me in Hong Kong (much cheaper than here and fits like a glove).

I want to feel attractive and sexy and feel that when my husband tells me I've got a nice bum that he means it and not because he should say that. I totally get that is my insecurity and something I need to deal with but I'm fed up second guessing everything he says even though he's been nothing but fantastic the whole 12 years I've known him. I was 14st 4lb when I met him and still wearing a 16/18 clothes and thought I was enormous. Seems like a dream to be that weight again.

So, I've started this week well and I've been really good all week but I thought my brown loaf was a 400g one so I had two slices with egg for breakfast and it turns out it's an 800g loaf so I should have only had one and I realised last night that the stir fry I made I'd used a glug of oil and I used a low fat hoi sin sauce (between 3 of us so was only 4 sys and the oil I can't find the syn count for) I had a dairylea dunker but I syn'd this and it was fine to have but I felt so guilty and have been thinking I'm going to have sts or a gain but I'm being really good. I also this afternoon had a milky way which I syn'd for today and I've been an angel otherwise.

I'm then questioning myself about am I REALLY REALLY allowed to eat as much fresh fruit and veg on ee? surely not? I will just need to trust in the plan and not be so hard on myself.

I've got granddad's funeral next week and a baby shower this weekend which I'm baking a 3 tiered cake for (something I've never done as I'm a hobby baker) but I'll want to try some of that but I'm scared to! which is wrong but right. argh!

This losing weight malarky is bleeding hard work.
 
I made some amazing soup last night. It had sweet potato, new potato, onion and veg stock when it was cooked I blended it. It was delicious and so filling. I took some to work for lunch and shared it with a colleague.

One of my team has brought in cakes as shes leaving to have a baby and was offended I wouldn't take one. To save face I took one and took a bite of it but I binned the rest and I feel very guilty for the bit that I did have. Surely a bite of a cupcake wont undo everything I've been doing this week?

I'm starting to feel stuffed with half the amount of food I've been eating but I'm having to try to make myself eat as thats what my problem has been in the past. I don't eat anywhere near enough as I need to.

I'm really enjoying the ee and can't wait for Monday to see if I've had a loss.
 
I'm a hobby baker and I agreed to do a 3 tiered cake for someone at work. I've baked 3 different cakes and made 2kg of dark ganache and a kg if white choc.

I've never made a stacked caked before and it's all going to pot. I haven't had time to make or eat dinner. I've been picking little bits of the cake and the ganache and it's not even half way done yet.

I'm feeling bad about my eating tonight :(
 
I had only a tiny about of cake stuff (less than a cupcakes worth in total and none of the finished product which looked amazing)

I was SO good at the party and only sw friendly food. I didn't eat much though.

Hubby decided at 9:30pm when he got in he wanted a takeaway I was hungry but wanted to be as good as possible so I had a chicken breast kebab with no mayo and lots of salad.

I could slap myself.
 
Bella Cullen said:
I had only a tiny about of cake stuff (less than a cupcakes worth in total and none of the finished product which looked amazing)

I was SO good at the party and only sw friendly food. I didn't eat much though.

Hubby decided at 9:30pm when he got in he wanted a takeaway I was hungry but wanted to be as good as possible so I had a chicken breast kebab with no mayo and lots of salad.

I could slap myself.

Hi, just stopping by to say well done so far. As long as the kebab wasn't in bread stuff I wouldn't have thought the syns would be too high

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
 
It was in a pitta and I only ate a little bit of that. I really wish I hadn't now and I think I'll have stayed the same. It's my own fault for being so smug about not having party food.

I've learned weekends are tough for me. I just don't eat enough. When I'm at work I'm troughing on free foods and fruit and veg but I forget on a weekend. I had a big lunch on Friday at work of Jacket with beans and salad and then nothing until the party (I had all good stuff) and then the kebab last night.

Today, I had nothing until 2:30pm a sandwich but I didn't end up eating the bread, I'm just not keen on brown bread but I ate the ham and tomato and had a muller light. For dinner I had rice with chicken, pineapple, onion, garlic mushrooms and mixed peppers. It was delicious and free.

I was looking forward to weigh in tomorrow and now I'm not :( I'll go and deal with it but this should have been the best week.
 
Thanks Hels, I'll just need to wait and see. I don't have any scales at home so I haven't even had a peek. I'm sure I'll be fine :) I'll let you all know later tonight.
 
I went to the earlier class tonight as I finished work a wee bit early. I'm over the moon to say I've lost 5lbs :) although the woman who was doing the scales (not the consultant) said it's 4.5lbs but by my calculations the scales said last week 22st 12lb. This week the scales said 22st 7lbs. Maybe I'm missing something but I'm taking that as -5lb.
 
Well done on your 5lb loss! I haven't started a diary yet, i only have a food diary so far and was having a look at yours to see what others write. Keep up the great work. x
 
Wow well done on ur first weeks loss :)
Also dont b so hard on urself ur doing great and hav got such self control if i was making a cake with choc it would ov gone in my belly lol and as for the chicken kenab u made a really gud choice to hav that well dun :)
If u dont like brown bread use ur hex b on cereal that way u dont hav to hav bread :)
 
Only a measly pound this week. Don't know where I've gone wrong. I think I must measure my milk and stop trying to interchange healthy extras cause I know I can't.

Need to make sure I have dinner every single night as I often don't.
 
Stopping by as had a peek and you're the same as me with the whole under-eating at times thing - it's so hard to crack!

Tell you what though, you should be really proud of what you've achieved, I mean seriously - 9.5lbs in 3 weeks!! Have you seen what a measly pound looks like? It's loads, and you've dropped 9 and a half times that! Also, beating yourself up over the small things is another thing I do too and it is never ever a good habit. It's one of those little triggers that leads to saying, 'Feck it, I've messed up anyway, might as well stuff my face.' Don't sweat the small stuff, it obviously hasn't hindered your losses! As for the measly pound, its normal for losses to slow a little by week 3, that's when it starts to even out and become consistent so stick to plan and give your demons the middle finger when they start whispering.
 
Thank you for that. It's really nice of you to say and it's really supportive. I've tried having syns more regularly this week (I've had a two finger kit kat twice this week)

I've realised I've not been syn'ing the low fat spread I use on my toast which is 2 syns per teaspoon and I've had 2 of those every morning. So that's 4 syns I wasnt counting but I am now. I tried having the toast dry with my scrambled egg and it was just not nice (for me).

I'm being good and despite having friends round tomorrow evening for our quarterly chinese night, I'm only having chow mein and I'll not have my toast tomorrow but weetabix to save the syns. I've struggled with super free food each meal especially when I have things like homemade soup. I'm also confused about if I blend the soup if it's still super free?
 
It is still superfree :) Getting that third in can be tricky, if I'm really stuck I whack a load of rocket leaves or something my plate.

It's good you caught those syns you overlooked - but obviously it's better to have those 2 syns and actually enjoy your toast than feel you're stuck in a prison sentence!

I treated myself this evening to some syns that weren't part of a meal - had a chocolate mint Hifi bar and a small bag of Snackajacks to reward myself for losing 5.5lbs. I had a big walk beforehand, realised I'd only used 1 syn total all day and thought right - time to try this treating myself lark. Really enjoyed them but still feel slightly tentative about the fact I ate them...that is exactly the habit I'm tryin to crack. I have twice weekly treats though nothing too regimented...just something I fancy, whether its some cheese on my tea or a bit of junk food or a drink.

It's almost as bad overthinking it all as it is blindly overeating!
 
Back
Top