Thread: Mel's journal

Originally Posted by malamobile

Hi Mel
Love your blog. What you say is so familiar - all the anxieties you feel are exactly what I have. I'm starting today for about the 100th diet of my life - but I'm determined to make this the one. I feel different to the way I have before and I do not want to carry on the way I am feeling horrible about myself and what I eat ; it affects everything in ways you don't realise til you sit and think about it. I'm generally very happy but my weight is always the sticking point. I'm not putting pressure on myself to do it by a certain time. I've done SW before - I lost over 3 stone and that would be great. My aim is 3.5 stone this time. I'm very impatient and always want the loss NOW!!! - but know I have to take it day by day and just be good and stick to plan!

Keep on going - 3 stone already is so great and it has inspired me! Happy New Year and here's to a very slim and healthy 2013

Michelle

Even though I used to tell myself I was happy how I was I think, like you, it affected how I felt about myself in so many ways. Since I've started proving to myself that I can do this I have started to feel a lot more content with my life and find the day to day stresses of family life (where 3 out of the 5 of us have autism) much easier to cope with. Good luck on your journey- you can do it

Originally Posted by flabtofit

Hi Mel

Just come across your diary - you write so well and its very inspirational - your losses are great!

Good luck for 2013! X

Originally Posted by Harryhorror

Hi Mel your weight loss is fantastic in 12 weeks! Good luck for 2013.

Thank you and here's hoping for a great year for you both too.

Well Christmas is well and truly over and its back 100% to plan for me. I even...wait for it... poured half that bottle of Baileys down the sink so I wouldn't be tempted by it anymore... it left my husband speechless for a few moments as he watched me do it lol. It felt so good to do it because it's been niggling at me as this terrible temptation since I opened it Christmas day. Actually really proud of myself that I showed restraint with it and didn't just neck the lot since it was Christmas- last Christmas I would have.

Been suffering with horrible migraines this week, haven't been this bad for a while. In the old days what always helped when they were bad like this is painkillers, a can of full sugar coke and some crisps- Robinson's and a ryvita doesn't work quite so well but at least its not costing me a bazillion syns. I suspect my being fleixble with the syns a little over Christmas will show on the scales at WI on tuesday- managed to loose one pound over christmas but I wonder if it will catch up with me this week??

Originally Posted by MelScarlet

Even though I used to tell myself I was happy how I was I think, like you, it affected how I felt about myself in so many ways. Since I've started proving to myself that I can do this I have started to feel a lot more content with my life and find the day to day stresses of family life (where 3 out of the 5 of us have autism) much easier to cope with. Good luck on your journey- you can do it

Thanks am really positive. Totally know what you mean about thinking you're ok with it but when you look at little things you realise it isn't right. People always said to me that 'i carried it well' and that 'i wasn't fat' which is very kind (and i'm lucky my face doesn't get too big) but I am so self conscious when i sit on the train to London and always think noone will want to have to squeeze on next to me as i spill onto the next seat. even at xmas if i have clothes on my present list i am embarassed to tell my family the size! the other day went to see friends who live on a very little hill and dreaded them wanting to go to the pub in case we had to climb the hill together and they'd see i was unfit. that's terrible isn't it- to be embarassed around family and friends and limiting what i do- but i think we all do it in one way or another. anyway, new year new start and 'i'm feeeeeling good' as muse would say! i'm using minimins a lot as need the support of others doing this at home. we can DEFINITELY do it! hope your week is going well. mx

Just read the beginning of your diary. You sound very much like me, i started doing stuff that made me happy, finally figuring i shouldn't care about what anyone else thinks. Got my first tattoo last year too after 7 years of putting it off (and my second, which happens to be jaret's signature :P)

Michelle- Not having to let on how unfit I was always put me off trying to get fitter, ironic really. I'm not hopeful for next week's WI- the communists are well on there way here (aka my time of the month) and I'm bloating up unbelievably again. Still cheerful though and not at all tempted by the wine I've saved syns for tomorrow night (well maybe a little lol).

Ally- That sounds so cool, we were hoping to go see them a few weeks back but my MIL wouldn't babysit on a school night so we couldn't go Its weird I think deciding that I didn't care what anyone else thinks actually gave me the mental energy to think about what I thought and decide to finally do this. I think I'm going treat myself to another tattoo once I hit 5 stone lost- still planning the design.

Originally Posted by MelScarlet

Ally- That sounds so cool, we were hoping to go see them a few weeks back but my MIL wouldn't babysit on a school night so we couldn't go Its weird I think deciding that I didn't care what anyone else thinks actually gave me the mental energy to think about what I thought and decide to finally do this. I think I'm going treat myself to another tattoo once I hit 5 stone lost- still planning the design.

I'm booked in to have 2 more tattoos done on the 15th jan haha, got the bug now i've had one done :P

Originally Posted by Ally89

I'm booked in to have 2 more tattoos done on the 15th jan haha, got the bug now i've had one done :P

People warned me they were addictive before I got my first but I didn't believe them- silly me lol.

My first WI of 2013 is due tomorrow and am dreading it a little. Got my period yesterday so hoping some more of the bloating will have gone down, but its not looking hopeful lol. Massive chocolate cravings last night (I blame the hormones) but didn't go over my syns- instead spent the evening on the sofa with a hot water bottle on my tum, knitting and watching stuff on netflix. Why do chocolate cravings always hit when you've used some syns for the day already??

Not sure if its the time on month, or just the time of year but I've really been craving comfort foods these last few days. Unfortunately my supply of frozen SW meals was completely depleted over the christmas break so I'm going to have to fix that this week. Gonna cook a big pan of quorn chili tonight- so that's a start and should satisfy my cravings- last night's chicken salad was yummy but it just didn't cut it when I was really craving Mexican food. With a huge pot of soup, some curry and a slow cooker full of casserole- I'll be moaning there's no room left in the freezer next lol.

Hiya

My weighin tomorrow too and I'm dreading it now. I was soooo excited but not feeling so positive today. Done so much sitting writing these damn essays but after, oh about an hour, when I submit them i will be a lazy lardarse no more. i've done my little tiny bit of running and walking and zumba but just not feeling it. with totm you really have to allow for that on weigh ins. it can make a huge difference, but sure you'll do ok. get those really heavy meals in and you'll cut out those cravings! i had asda meat free mince spag bol last night. 2 bowls overflowing and then didn't even eat my syns as was totally satisfied!!

let us all know how it went. I'll be posting mine too on my little diary! fingers crossed and good luck!

I use the Asda meat free mince too and the chili was delicious- so much more cheerful with a tummy full of spicy food lol. Haven't tried spag bol with it yet though- that might be next on my list- although I know my husband would prefer spaghetti with homemade meat balls instead.

Good luck for tomorrow

Well sts this week, which I know I should be happy with- I'm still really bloated (and sluggish still if that's not tmi) and it means that for the 2 week Christmas period I lost 1lb- which could have been a whole lot worse. I'm just feeling a little meh today and struggling to keep motivated. I really hate period week WI's- am usually already fighting not to hate myself before I get weighed- always leaves me feeling like I can't really do this.

Gonna aim for a really great week and hopefully will feel more in control again. I need to start walking again and I'm gonna go to the doctor about the problem I've been having with my foot. Its still flaring up after 4 weeks of reduced millage. I know I should have gone earlier about it, but I was just so sure they're gonna just blame it on my weight.


I think today will be a green day since there's no meat planned and the extra HE would be nice.

Breakfast: Twigs (aka all bran) with yogurt and a banana
Lunch: meat free chili with rice- packed with superfree and really delicious.
Tea: Baked potatoes, chili beans, cheese and salad.
Snacks: fruit, ryvitas with quark, some syn treats later on.

Ok enough feeling sorry for myself, time to kick my self up the arse and remember I can do this.

You can and you will do it!! I have been moping around tonight feeling sorry for myself & down in the dumpers but NO! STOP. It's a new year and if we try we are going to look G.O.O.D in no time at all. We shouldn't be negative about ourselves - we are doing something really positive! Phew exhausted by all that positivity and so off to bed for an early night!!

Originally Posted by malamobile

You can and you will do it!! I have been moping around tonight feeling sorry for myself & down in the dumpers but NO! STOP. It's a new year and if we try we are going to look G.O.O.D in no time at all. We shouldn't be negative about ourselves - we are doing something really positive! Phew exhausted by all that positivity and so off to bed for an early night!!

Thank you Michelle Hope you're feeling more positive today. I'm doing much better and I made an appointment to get my foot looked at next week so I feel like I'm making positive steps towards getting that sorted (and as a result a step towards getting back on with my weekly walking targets) which has really helped.

Meeting a friend for lunch today,and I will have the willpower to have grilled gammon and ask for salad instead of chips, even if they do do amazing pizzas lol.

Much better thanks feeling good again. I just went for lunch with work colleagues and had jacket and beans. I loooove pizza but usually manage to resist - ohhhh padana from p express is yummy. Planned food for weekend to keep me on straight and narrow - still very motivated with no desire to cheat so making the most of it! Have a great night x