This time I will do it!!...
I don't know if anyone will read this but I've decided to keep a diary on my weight loss - thoughts, foods and pics (when I feel braver!)
Okay so a bit about me - I'm a married, mum of two (a soon-to-be 3 year old and a 4month old) and I work full-time in a stressful job as a Housing Officer.
I have always struggled with my weight and I've tried every diet/gym fad under the sun but have either given up when results weren't quick enough or they simply didn't work.
Before I had children I was about 10stone and a size 10 however my relationship with food was not great - I'd often binge and then be sick, or I would take 'miracle pills' in the hope they would help me slim/maintain my weight. In short, I faced a daily battle of wills - wanting to eat until I was sick and a desire to be slim.
When I feel pregnant with my first child, I had to stop the bingeing and finally felt able to let go and simply eat what I wanted.
I wish I'd listened when people told me not to eat for two.
By the time I gave birth I was over 16st - overeating and pre-eclampia during pregnancy meant I'd put on 6stone.
I joined a local slimming club shortly after giving birth as I was due to get married a few months later, I managed to slim to 12st 7lbs for my wedding but soon piled on the pounds and stayed around 13st 7lbs for the next year.
Then I fell pregnant again - and this time after I gave birth I tipped the scales at 17st 9lbs! Again I had overeaten and suffered pre-eclampsia, putting on over 4st.
I looked in the mirror a few days after giving birth and felt an intense hatred for myself - how had I gotten so big???! How had I let it happen?!!
So I joined Slimming World - AGAIN! I'd made half hearted attempts throughout the years but had only ever stuck to it for a few weeks at a time - this time would be different.
I weighed 15st 7lbs on my first WI, mildly pleased that some baby weight had come off on its own.
I've worked hard and in 16weeks since joining Slimming World I have managed to slim down to 12st 11.5lbs, the lightest I've been in years!
I am so proud that I've stuck to it this time...BUT...I went back to work Monday following my four months maternity leave and instantly I wanted to binge - I wanted to eat and eat and eat.
Thinking on it, I used to eat in secret on the way to/from work and I think I mentally associate food with work.
Its also a stressful job and I don't always have time for lunch, making me super-hungry by the time I get home and stuffing all in sight.
Therefore, I have decided to do this diary - listing my food and thoughts for the day in an attempt to keep me on track and if I can help someone else in the process then all the better.
So...onwards and downwards...hopefully!!