Thread: Never mind a winner, I want to be a LOSER!!!

I've decided that I need to keep a diary of sorts and where better than on here? I'm hoping it will stop me from sabotaging myself and doing all the silly things I've done before whilst on a diet like binge eating and hiding food to eat whilst no one else is watching (so shameful ) Hopefully some people might drop by with words of encouragement or hints and tips they've picked up but if not I guess it will be a nice cathartic release!

A bit about me then, I'm 34, a single mum to an 8 yr old girl (who's a skinny little thing - lucky mare - although I watch her like a hawk for any signs she may get start to put on weight) I work part time from home but unfortunately this means I don't have many friends, yes I know boo hoo but seriously I moved from London to the Midlands to get married (currently in the middle of a divorce) and started working from home so really didn't make friends through work or baby groups or anything like that. I'm quite a bubbly, lively girl but spend most of my time indoors watching tv or playing on the pc. I do have a boyfriend who has been a huge support so far in my diet although he has made it very clear he doesn't care what I weigh (when we met I was at my heaviest) but he's willing to help me anyway he can including coming with recipes that we can tweak to a slimming world version (he's a former chef!)

The main problem I have is a very sweet tooth, I couldn't really care less if you told me I couldn't eat bread or cheese or something like that on this diet but if you told me I'd never be able to taste chocolate or something ever again I think I would go insane! To be fair though since starting in Jan 2013 I haven't really had much chocolate of the normal variety, just the rocky road hi fi bars which I seem to be addicted to! I also tend to snack when I'm bored or lonely, which unfortunately for me tends to be most evenings if the OH isn't around - don't get me wrong I'm not asking for sympathy or loads of people feeling sorry for me, in fact just the opposite, I'd love to hear how other people have maybe overcome similar times? similar issues? One of the girls at the SW group suggested chopping the hifi bars into 3 and freezing them so it takes longer to eat which I now do as it stops me from eating entire packs! I've also just started experimenting with the SW version of haribo using sf jelly and gelatine and they seem to be going down quite nicely!

But anyway enough rambling, this is me and my diary starting today Feb 25th 2013 when I've lost a total of 17.5lbs but still got a long way to go! (oohhh and a weigh in tonight!)

Hiya, good luck with your journey your doing fab. I'm also a self confessed binge eater & I've also hidden food, wrappers etc. there's lots of support here. I'm also a chocoholic and struggle to Find low syn alternatives. At the moment I'm trying to curb the sweet tooth with meringue, strawberrys & yog.

Hi HelzBelz!
I am about to do the same thing myself. I have been a member of SW since the day after I booked my wedding in September and I am DISGUSTED with myself.
I'm now only 7lbs down whereas I should be 2st lighter. I have been D***ing around long enough now and I want to get rid of this weight NOW.
I also binge eat - only yesterday I was cooking myself SW chili but I ate rings around myself while cooking. I woke up this morning just determined to sort my life out and stop walking around with this spare tyre of 5 stone of extra weight around my middle. I will be right here with you alongside you helping you on and hope you will do the same with me when I start my diary too - we can be virtual SW buddies!!

Originally Posted by WeighToGo

Hi HelzBelz!
I am about to do the same thing myself. I have been a member of SW since the day after I booked my wedding in September and I am DISGUSTED with myself.
I'm now only 7lbs down whereas I should be 2st lighter. I have been D***ing around long enough now and I want to get rid of this weight NOW.
I also binge eat - only yesterday I was cooking myself SW chili but I ate rings around myself while cooking. I woke up this morning just determined to sort my life out and stop walking around with this spare tyre of 5 stone of extra weight around my middle. I will be right here with you alongside you helping you on and hope you will do the same with me when I start my diary too - we can be virtual SW buddies!!

Sounds like a plan hun! I've still got over 10 stone to lose and over a stone to go till I get to club 10!

I'm just cooking some sw kfc when my phone beeps, its my consultant asking me if I'd run the shop this week! I'm so excited! Is that a sad thing to admit? I feel really honoured that she'd ask me.

Well I LOVED group this week! Got to chat to so many people that I don't normally talk to, mainly cos I'm still fairly new, but running the shop meant they all wanted to talk! Asking me which books to buy and what was in the magazines etc, I felt really important! Lol! How sad is that?!?! Anyway I finally weighed in and managed to lose 5.5lbs this week - no idea how cos I did exactly what I did last week and only lost 2 lbs then! So that's 23lbs in total, my 1.5 stone award and my 2nd slimmer of the week award this year

DEEEELIGHTED for you luvvie! That's a great loss!! I'm having to chop and change my meetings because of my other halfs working hours (he's a barman) so my weigh in is Thursday morning. Not expecting great shakes to be honest. Its next week where I'll probably see a result. My hen night is in April so I want to be a stone lighter by then.....can it be done!!??

Originally Posted by WeighToGo

DEEEELIGHTED for you luvvie! That's a great loss!! I'm having to chop and change my meetings because of my other halfs working hours (he's a barman) so my weigh in is Thursday morning. Not expecting great shakes to be honest. Its next week where I'll probably see a result. My hen night is in April so I want to be a stone lighter by then.....can it be done!!??

Definitely can be I hope you do it and even if you only lose half of it - its half a stone you'll never see again

Woke up this morning exhausted but very happy, went and did my weeks shopping - cheaper than normal as I didn't need to buy any fruit as I won a tonne last night as slimmer of the week! Also won a can of cannelini beans, never had em before and no idea what to do with em! Think they might end up going back next week hehe Didn't have my normal philly (the garlic and herb one) so I've bought the sweet chilli one in the hope its just as nice, going to try some in a min as a mid afternoon snack on some ryvita so fingers crossed! I always treat myself when I go shopping, it used to be cream cakes or stupid things like that but our Morrison's have little candles for 50p which I bought 2 of today so I've decided they will be my treat this week and have to look out for more smelly stuff in the weeks to come. I'm currently burning one which is supposed to be Mediterranean orange and fig but tbh smells more like laundry detergent! Not that thats a bad thing cos I like the smell of clean clothes but its just kinda weird!

Still feeling very motivated today, kinda getting excited and wishing it was Monday so I can see how well I've done! lol! How sad is that?! Wishing your life away is never a good thing but I'm on such a high atm after Monday's result, that and the fact that my other half is cooking us tea tonight, he's used to the fact he's got to be all healthy and stuff and as a former chef he's always got great ideas! Our next challenge is to fill the spice rack I bought today, already got most of the normal boring stuff in there like mixed herbs and the like but we're going to look at some more 'exotic' stuff so we can try all sorts of fancy things! Again how sad is it to get excited about a spice rack, yet we both have been!

One of my personal targets atm which is totally non weight related is to learn to take a compliment. I was looking after a friend's daughter before school this morning as she had a hospital appt she had to get to and as she was dropping her off she commented on how nice my hair was (I normally wear it down but had put it up today) to which I replied 'oh I just put it up cos it was looking really greasy and horrible' and as she pointed out what I should have said was 'thank you' but I'm not used to compliments so always think they're meant sarcastically and don't know how to take them.

I'm the same with compliments. My best friend tells me i'm beautiful constantly but i can never accept what he says haha.

Still feeling motivated but really tempted to have a massive blowout, have spent the best part of 2 hours scouring the internet for the naughtiest good recipes I can find! So far found Haribo style sweets, KFC chicken (well I actually made that the other day but it still counts!) Someone also posted a 10 syn chocolate cake and I know I could eat it all at once and still be within my syns but I kinda think that's going against the habits I'm trying to get out of! What I may do though is make up the mixture and make it into smaller cakes, maybe 3 or 4 syns each and freeze the rest so I can only eat one at a time! I'm also avoiding 'real' chocolate, I still have the hi fi bars but have avoided things like Mars, Kit Kat etc as I know if I start down that road I'll end up eating a load of them and thats how I got here in the first place!

Been looking into a fitbit one today, might treat myself to one to get my body magic awards and hopefully get fitter and slimmer, the only problem being that it costs £80 so its kinda expensive! Taken the dog for a couple of long walks today so been quite active so hopefully that'll equate to a nice weight loss.

Well the nice loss didn't quite materialise - maybe it'll come next week - I lost 1lb tonight which is good, also my fitbit arrived and I've realised that certainly on a monday at the least I do a little more walking that I had previously thought (I walk up to SW and back) its registered just under 8k steps which is a good start as I want to get it to 10k a day. Feeling a bit blah about the 1lb loss would have liked more but I guess its in the right direction at least