Rae Rae's rambles
Thought it was about time I started a diary as I read so many of everybody elses and think it's a great support network.
A bit about me.... (here's where the rambles start)....
I'm 29, 30 in feb :-( been a complete yo yo dieter all my life and binge eater, finally got to a size 12 with the Cambridge diet in 2009 after losing 2 stone doin ww then 3 stone 4 pound on cd. Ended up puttin all that bk on and then some as my weight soared to the heaviest I've EVER been but just couldn't get my head back in the game. I then went bk on cd and lost 8 stone in 7 months and was a size 10, was so happy but seemed to b even more insecure. I maintained this weight but not for very long but did it the wrong way, exercising excessively, eatin 700 cals a day, abusing laxatives etc. Then the binges started again but so much worse than b4, I'd deprived myself for so long it was like I couldn't get enough, I was a woman possessed.
I'm now coming to the end of therapy for bulimia. At the start I was still restricting through cal countin and for the life of me I couldn't increase them even though I wanted to change. However, I started doing sw 13 weeks ago and I honestly think sw combined with therapy is making me 'better'.
I was sceptical at first as telling someone like me that there's an unlimited ammount of free food isn't good but I'm learning about portion sizes, healthier foods but not having that pressure of countin cals is amazing. I used to b a carbaholic b4 cd then after that they were the enemy until I binged then they were the first things I reach for.
The weights comin off slowly which im getting my head around now, it will take time after putting my body through what I have over the years but I'm happy at the moment and I'm enjoyin my food, seem to b eating more carbs than ever lately and also have a wider variety of foods which I'd normally stick to the same things as they're my 'safe' foods.
I'm surprised that I've written all of that as nobody knows about my ED apart from my fiancé and 1 friend.
If you got to the end of that you deserve a medal :-)
Here's to a great year, I will beat my demons, get bk to a size 12, need to lose 3 more stone and I WILL maintain it this time.
Hi Rae Rae
I got to the end and can totally identify. I had / have an eating disorder too. One that had been likened to bulimia by my hypnotherapist. Basically I was a compulsive overwater and it's the binge but without the purge. So I've kind of been there. Slimming World is the best approach I have found for dealing with this type of psychological problem, like you said you learn more about portion control and what works for you. Its so individual and that is what makes it so great
Thanks for your reply, it means a lot that someone can identify with what I'm going or have been through as nobody else gets it plus i wouldn't normally broadcast it to people I know as I feel ashamed.
I love sw and I'm definitely converted despite my initial concerns but I think I have more chocolate and things now than I did when I was being 'good' and restricting calories so I think it's all helping as I'm having things in moderation so don't feel deprived which means I dont binge :-)
For the first time in my life, I'm starting to feel 'normal'.
You shouldn't feel ashamed. It took me so long to admit it to myself and I have found sharing with others is what made it feel more real. It was hardest admitting to my husband but as it turns out he thought I actually was bulimic or similar because I was eating so much it forced me to disappear to the loo after meals. Tmi? Haha. It was the secret eating he was most surprised at. I realise now that I was punishing myself for bring fat but getting fatter (bizarre but the human brain is so messed up at times). I had enough of being mean to myself and switched my addictive personality to this instead. Now I feel so so much happier.
It wasn't easy and I needed outside help but now everything seems so much brighter, like you say "normal". That was all I ever wanted, to look and feel "normal"
well done for getting it out there x
Thank you....I appreciate it. I don't know anybody else like me so I keep it all to myself. Can definitely identify with the secret eating.
My fiance knows I've got issues but never sat down and discussed it at length but he is very supportive and can see I'm changing for the better :-)
Thank you smurfette, I'm here to support you aswell. Do you have a diary?
I like your point about sw being healthy eating rather than a diet, I feel the same as I don't get fixated on the numbers or carbs etc. It's everything in moderation :-)
When is your first weigh in? I'm sure you will have done brilliantly xx
It is definitely not a diet in the traditional sense. Its good clean eating. Mostly unprocessed and loads of fruit and veg. Can't really argue that we all know that eating in such a way is good for us!!
I have to admit as someone who has done them all this is by far the best. Not necessarily in terms of amount or speed of weightloss but in its applicability to everyday life and to changing attitudes to food. I had success with WW As well after I had my daughter but all their snacks and branded stuff does not a good approach to grazing make.
Im in a total covert
I totally agree that this is by far the best as EE lets u lead a 'normal' life and can fit in with meals out, notjing is forbidden just everything in moderation which is what we're supposed to do anyway.
I love the fact I'm actually cooking....I've never cooked, just whack everything in the microwave but with the sw recipes they are so tasty and not 'diet' food. I would never have eaten chips before on a diet but I love sw chips now.
Smurfette.....my weigh day is a saturday aswell but I weigh at home as doing sw online.
Food stuffs for today...
B-weetabix and semi skimmed milk followed by green tea with lemon and an apple.
L- will be jacket potato and beans with beetroot on the side...wierd combo I know but love beets and I'm at wrk so struggle finding some other superfree.
T- will be minced beef hash.
Absolutely love this dish, by far the best sw recipe I've come across so far :-)
Will have some strawberries and plums later and also a yoghurt. Trying to kerp syns low as I ended up having pizza on new years eve and for once was without the guilt....by george I think she's got it :-)
I absolutely love beetroot and mushrooms, never get sick of them.
I found the minced beef hash recipe in the extra easy meals in minutes cook book.
I'll pist the recipe for u when I get home, very easy to make and quick aswell.
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