Thread: Other group members

Got a problem that's making me feel fed up...

Started group about six weeks ago, really loving the plan and having good losses. However, there's a couple who attend group who I sort of know because they live near me. They always come and sit next to me but I can't stand them - they laugh at other members, giggle throughout WI results, talk loudly - and they don't even follow plan right, they're always showing off about having no syns since starting. And when I lost 1lb this week she was like "oh dear, better luck next" but before she said that I was pleased with the loss.

Last week I just weighed and ran because I didn't want to deal with them, which really upset me because I'm trying to do this for me and quite like IT.

Don't know what to do :-(

Originally Posted by Carmilla

Got a problem that's making me feel fed up...

Started group about six weeks ago, really loving the plan and having good losses. However, there's a couple who attend group who I sort of know because they live near me. They always come and sit next to me but I can't stand them - they laugh at other members, giggle throughout WI results, talk loudly - and they don't even follow plan right, they're always showing off about having no syns since starting. And when I lost 1lb this week she was like "oh dear, better luck next" but before she said that I was pleased with the loss.

Last week I just weighed and ran because I didn't want to deal with them, which really upset me because I'm trying to do this for me and quite like IT.

Don't know what to do :-(

Could u arrive last minute so they already sat down + u sit other side?
Or your going to be brave + politely say something to them.

why not have a word with the consultant , she might be able to have a word with the whole group about not discouraging people ect. that might make them hush for a bit! hope it gets sorted for you x x

If you don't want offend you could wait till they sit next to you then say oh I need something from shop go and buy your mag or hifi's then just sit somewhere else away from them. Or you could just get up and move without saying anything. Or you could tell them to not be so rude your perfectly happy with your 1 lb loss (as you should be!) and to mind their own business in future. Don't let them put you off if you only know them cause they live close by then doesn't matter if you upset them. They obviously don't care bout upsetting you. Good luck. X

First of all you need to tell your consultant. People who behave like that shouldn't be there. If you can't tell them how you feel then go sit with others.

I'm very good friends with my consultant, I've known her since I was tiny and I know that she would be devastated if this were going on in her class.... for all you know, these 2 idiots may have driven away other members before you came along. Also, you don't want the other members in group to associate you with them if they're being disruptive....

Maybe see if there's a chance for you to help out behind the table, selling raffle tickets or putting posters out until they've sat down then sit down as image therapy is starting?

Can only echo what other people have said, have a word with your consultant at the end or could you attend a different time group?

If they are not using any syns at all they are more than likely to feel deprived eventually. Syns are there for a reason, maybe karma will bite them in their ass and they will binge and gain then know what it feels like!

its awful when people kind of gravitate towards you even if you don't want them to.

I'd find it difficult to either say something to them or to the consultant. I like the idea of getting involved in the social team, or you could make it your mission to 'befriend' newbies when they sit down, its nerve wracking sitting on your own in an established group when every one else is chatting away, if you see someone sitting on their own offer to make them a coffee or just ask how their weeks gone.

I would also arrive later and drift around a bi til the last minute so you choose where to sit when your 'friends' have already sat down

good luck and don't let them spoil your weight loss journey, SW recommends a loss of 1-2 lb a week so you should be pleased with your pound hun

xx

I am also going to say the same x I had similar at group. Two ladies just used to talk with no consideration for anyone else trying to listen and I was getting so agitated x after three weeks I spoke to my consultant and she politely said to the group before starting image therapy to please not talk throughout and respect others whilst they are trying to listen to image therapy and its stopped xx with regard to the 1lb loss that's fab and don't let anyone dishearten you x 1lb a week is 3 1/2 stone in a year! Xx so it's a great loss :-)) xx

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Thanks everyone for your replies, it's really helped. I was getting so het up about it! I have quite low self esteem and don't really have the strength to say anything directly so I'm gonna go for the arrive a bit later and hang around the recipe book stall option :-)

I think it's brought up a lot of issues for me with regards letting people treat me however they like, I might not be able to say anything yet but if I can make a conscious effort to get out of the situation that feels like a positive move. One step at a time!

Originally Posted by Carmilla

Thanks everyone for your replies, it's really helped. I was getting so het up about it! I have quite low self esteem and don't really have the strength to say anything directly so I'm gonna go for the arrive a bit later and hang around the recipe book stall option :-)

I think it's brought up a lot of issues for me with regards letting people treat me however they like, I might not be able to say anything yet but if I can make a conscious effort to get out of the situation that feels like a positive move. One step at a time!

good for you.
xx

dont let them ruin it for you. forge a friendship with another member who isnt a prat, and sit with them. xx

Your confidence will grow sweetheart as the weight comes off. You're doing this for YOU, keep reminding yourself of that ;-) I wish you all the very best xxx

I'm a bit soft like that too, I probably wouldn't be able to bring myself to say anything to them lol I'd deffo go for arrive late and sit at the other side option x

How about joining the social team? then you could help with weigh ins and not need to joint the group till wi is over and you can then sit wherever you like. Whatever you decide, don't let them spoil your experince or drive you away . Good luck and let us know hhow you get on xx

Thank you everyone, I'll let you know how I get on this week :-)