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Thread: I can't seem to get started :(

  1. #1
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    I can't seem to get started :(

    Hi,

    I have a lot of weight to lose after having 3 children very close together, I just can't seem to get started. I have joined a group about 4 times in the last few months but after each meeting my good intentions go out of the window and I just start eating junk again. I often don't even stick to plan for a day before 'I blow it' and eat rubbish. I have been seeing a therapist for anxiety and binge eating and although my anxiety is better my eating isn't and as I feel so miserable about my weight I eat more and more. I have 3 small children under the age of 5 and my husband has been working away the last few months so I have been alone. Things are always stressful and I am using food to cope and to comfort myself.

    I'm really unhappy and I know the simple answer is just get on and do it and follow the plan but I just keep talking myself out of it and finding excuses to overeat. I love the slimming world plan and see that it could be a plan the whole family can follow for life.

    I'm sorry to whinge. I'm not sure anyone can help me I just wanted to vent

  2. #2
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    NotsofattyPatty's Avatar
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    Diet: Slimming World
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    Current Weight: 10st5lb
    Goal Weight: 10st7lb
    Goal Date: Reached in 2013. Now maintaining - but if a little more goes I'm not complaining!


    BMI Information:
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    Actually getting started is one of the most difficult steps to take. I would suggest you break your journey down into small stages, such as aiming for your first half stone or even just to get through one day. Lots of little steps can get you to the end of your journey.

    I can appreciate how difficult it must be with three little ones and your OH being away. The secret is to plan your menus and not to buy in junk food in the first place. As you so rightly say, the plan is suitable for the whole family and you are giving your family a wonderful start by feeding them healthy home-cooked food and they will learn from an early age that 'junk' food is a treat.

    Talking of treats, don't forget that you can have daily treats which can be whatever floats your boat - alcohol, crisps, biscuits, chocolate etc. I would recommend buying individually wrapped things as I've found that helps me keep things under control.

    Would making yourself a sticker chart help? Award yourself a sticker for every meal on plan and another at the end of a successful day. If you've used stickers as a reward for your children, perhaps with toilet training, they might find it funny that mummy has one and it would be a way of involving them.

    Have a look at some of the food and weight-loss diaries on here for ideas and to start befriending people. Start one yourself and people will soon start supporting you; we all want each other to succeed.

    Remember that there will be times when, no matter how much you want to, you can not stick to plan 100% because life gets in the way. It might be a party, a wedding, a celebratory meal out, but it doesn't matter - just get back on plan as soon as you can. It's better to be on plan for 80% of the time than to allow the first time you go off plan to let you think you've blown it. You haven't. That was one of the biggest lessons I had to learn!

    Good luck!

  3. #3
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    Jeanne Von Buttonpopper's Avatar
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    I don't think there's anything wrong in having a good old 'vent' and getting everything off your chest. It's no wonder you're stressed with 3 small people in the house under 3 and your husband working away. Clearly, you're a very busy lady!

    I found a lot of comfort in eating and for a short while it makes you feel better, but it doesn't last, especially when the weight creeps on and you get more upset. It's a real vicious circle.

    SW is a great plan and it really can fit in around your family. You can have treats too so you don't feel deprived like a lot of diets. However, giving yourself a real reason for wanting this and a goal helps. To begin with you think why you are really wanting to lose the weight, is it for your kids, is it for your husband, is it for you? Was it something someone said or a photo you saw that made you think. Write down your reasons for your journey and keep it somewhere safe to look back on when you need it the most. Next for SW you need a little time (bit hard for a full time mum I know) but if you can spare some or get someone to have the kids just for a while you can read the books, plan your meals and shop for what you need. Also if you can cook meals in bulk you can freeze food and save time, effort and money. Finally, I would say set a realistic goal. Say 1 stone. Looking at the whole amount makes it feel like a mountain to climb and can overwhelm you. When you get to your first goal then you set another. As you lose the weight, you gain the incentive to carry on. It's a great plan and it does work. I hope you feel a bit better about things soon and if you need any help or advice we are all here to support you . Good luck.
    I did it again! - Right here...

  4. #4
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    Hi and welcome!
    I agree with all the points and suggestions that's been made so far. I agree that it's hard to get started but part of that is the right mindset....do I want this to happen enough? I'm sure your answer is a big yes!
    I would try and not have the foods in the house that I can't control...exam your weak times of the day when you are likely to cave and make a plan for those times. Learn to love the foods on the free and superfree food lists and make the most of them.
    Post here often for support and make some friends that you can stay in touch with for extra support. If you attend a group buddy up with someone, especially if they have little ones like you...you will have lots in common.
    Wishing you all the best.
    Gwella likes this.

  5. #5
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    Height: 5ft7in
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    Start Weight: 17st5lb
    Current Weight: 17st5lb
    Goal Weight: 10st7lb
    Goal Date: July 4th 2015


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 38.1
    Current BMI: 38.1
    Goal BMI: 23


    Statistics:
    Weight to Lose: 6st12lb
    % Lost 0%
    Thank you so much for your lovely replies. It is great to have so many good ideas. I love the idea of a sticker chart (the children will love it). I think taking it a stone at a time and trying to get through each day on plan is a good idea. I think one of the problems is it seems like such a lot to lose and such a mammoth task....makes me feel exhausted!

    Thank you once again lovely people! x

  6. #6
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    NotsofattyPatty's Avatar
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    Diet: Slimming World
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    Start Weight: 14st7lb
    Current Weight: 10st5lb
    Goal Weight: 10st7lb
    Goal Date: Reached in 2013. Now maintaining - but if a little more goes I'm not complaining!


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 33.8
    Current BMI: 24.1
    Goal BMI: 24.5


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 4st2lb
    Weight to Lose: -0st2lb
    % Lost 28.57%
    Excellent. Baby steps are the way to start and try not to put any pressure on yourself to lose x amount in y length of time. Our bodies are weird and wonderful things that don't always co-operate. Concentrate on what you do lose and don't worry about what is still to go.

    Don't forget that if you start a diary on here you can also add virtual stickers to it! The more stickers the better!!

    (PS I can't claim credit for the sticker chart idea. Someone on here has been struggling to stick to the plan, and has just started doing it to help her.)

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tryingagainandagain View Post
    Hi,

    I have a lot of weight to lose after having 3 children very close together, I just can't seem to get started. I have joined a group about 4 times in the last few months but after each meeting my good intentions go out of the window and I just start eating junk again. I often don't even stick to plan for a day before 'I blow it' and eat rubbish. I have been seeing a therapist for anxiety and binge eating and although my anxiety is better my eating isn't and as I feel so miserable about my weight I eat more and more. I have 3 small children under the age of 5 and my husband has been working away the last few months so I have been alone. Things are always stressful and I am using food to cope and to comfort myself.
    Hi,
    I am also a mum of 3, they are aged 5,4 and 3 months, currently a stay at home mum until my maternity leave ends in January. I have just started my slimming world journey 5 weeks ago and have a similar amount to lose as you. Comfort eating was my main downfall too, so I know how you feel. Just take one day at a time. Try and have lots of free/superfree stuff laying around. Put it in the places that you default to for a snack. For example, I keep apples in the place where my kid's biscuits are - so when I open a cupboard I can see my choices - the apple vs the biscuit.
    05/06/14 05/06/14 26/06/14 26/06/14 10/07/14

    Mini goals: Long term goals: week 1-4: 12lbs
    Join slimming world: 22/05/14 3 stone week 5: 2lbs
    1/2 stone : DONE! 05/06/14 5 stone week 6: 2lbs
    1 stone : DONE! 26/06/14 7 stone week 7: 3lbs
    1.5 stone Reach Target week 8 : 1lb
    2 stone Complete 5k Run or Dye
    @ Hever Castle 04.10.2014




  8. #8
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    Height: 5ft7in
    Start Date: Everyday
    Start Weight: 17st5lb
    Current Weight: 17st5lb
    Goal Weight: 10st7lb
    Goal Date: July 4th 2015


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 38.1
    Current BMI: 38.1
    Goal BMI: 23


    Statistics:
    Weight to Lose: 6st12lb
    % Lost 0%
    Quote Originally Posted by Kittypuss85 View Post
    Hi,
    I am also a mum of 3, they are aged 5,4 and 3 months, currently a stay at home mum until my maternity leave ends in January. I have just started my slimming world journey 5 weeks ago and have a similar amount to lose as you. Comfort eating was my main downfall too, so I know how you feel. Just take one day at a time. Try and have lots of free/superfree stuff laying around. Put it in the places that you default to for a snack. For example, I keep apples in the place where my kid's biscuits are - so when I open a cupboard I can see my choices - the apple vs the biscuit.
    Thanks, Kittypuss85. It's nice to know I'm not the only one! Well done on your weight loss so far.....that is great

    How do you stay motivated when things get really stressful?

  9. #9
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    Kittypuss85's Avatar
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    Diet: Slimming World
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    Start Weight: 18st9.0lb
    Current Weight: 17st3lb


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 46.2
    Current BMI: 42.7


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 1st6lb
    % Lost 7.66%
    Quote Originally Posted by Tryingagainandagain View Post
    How do you stay motivated when things get really stressful?
    I try to remember why I am doing this. It might be that the kids are driving me mad, screaming, shouting, or doing what kids do, and I've had a hard day. But I think of all the days I still want to see. Them going to primary school, going to secondary school, doing exams and becoming adults, getting married, having grandchildren.

    All the while knowing that if I keep eating the way I was eating before, that I could very well eat my self right out of the opportunity of being around for all those things.
    05/06/14 05/06/14 26/06/14 26/06/14 10/07/14

    Mini goals: Long term goals: week 1-4: 12lbs
    Join slimming world: 22/05/14 3 stone week 5: 2lbs
    1/2 stone : DONE! 05/06/14 5 stone week 6: 2lbs
    1 stone : DONE! 26/06/14 7 stone week 7: 3lbs
    1.5 stone Reach Target week 8 : 1lb
    2 stone Complete 5k Run or Dye
    @ Hever Castle 04.10.2014




  10. #10
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    Diet: Slimming World
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    Goal Date: 15/7/2014


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 30.3
    Current BMI: 24.5
    Goal BMI: 24.5


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 2st7lb
    % Lost 19.23%
    Some brilliant tips on here. I think the idea of freezing stuff is particularly good, and not having junk in the house, and also learning to love the superfree and free foods. My SW 'journey' is taking a long time for the amount of weight I had to lose, but in some ways that's good because it means that some of the changes are really embedding themselves in my mindset, and that includes now seeing some healthier foods as 'treats' too (I love SW chips, am really enjoying the fresh strawberries at this time of year, have rediscovered yogurt and quorn sausages...and there is no guilt associated with them!).

    Also, I'm becoming more aware of what's really going on when I reach for junk food. I know it's not really the junk I want, but something 'for me' when I don't have time to stop and spend time on myself instead - I can down a glass of wine or munch on chocolate while I sort out my bank account or hoover. Just knowing that helps, but it's taken a long time to start sinking in, and I'm starting to feel less like I want to treat myself when I'm stressed or whatever.

    If there's any way at all you can find some time for yourself, do it. You must be in a very stressful situation but if you could have a couple of half-hours a week to do something for you, you might find it easier to avoid food as a substitute.
    Made it to target after nearly ten months on Slimming World and now working to maintain a super healthy lifestyle.
    (Not complaining if I lose a little more but the next goal is to get fit and be happy!)

    My maintenance diary: http://www.minimins.com/slimming-wor...t-my-life.html


  11. #11
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    Hi everyone, nice to meet you all, I am new, like really new ( last nite joined) .... Don't know if I am being thick but when you have a 1400 cal allowance per day has it taken into account all the hidden things, I.e. Fat, carbs etc in those foods or do u add them on as well, I thought that it meant 1400 is all included, they have worked out the other stuff just write down calorific amount of everything and so long as u don't go over the 1400 u r ok? Sorry it's long winded but thanks in advance for any help.... Jan

  12. #12
    Reformed biscuit dunker

    Jeanne Von Buttonpopper's Avatar
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    Current BMI: 24


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    % Lost 20.38%
    Hi Jan, sorry but why are you counting calories
    I did it again! - Right here...

  13. #13
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    NotsofattyPatty's Avatar
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    Goal Date: Reached in 2013. Now maintaining - but if a little more goes I'm not complaining!


    BMI Information:
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    Current BMI: 24.1
    Goal BMI: 24.5


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 4st2lb
    Weight to Lose: -0st2lb
    % Lost 28.57%
    Hi Jan and welcome.

    I'm sorry, but I don't understand your question. You say you joined on Sunday night - I take it from this that you joined Minimins and not that you joined Slimming World? You've posted on a SW thread in the SW section of Minis and as you don't count calories on SW this explains why you haven't had a response to your question.

  14. #14
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    Height: 5ft7in
    Start Date: Everyday
    Start Weight: 17st5lb
    Current Weight: 17st5lb
    Goal Weight: 10st7lb
    Goal Date: July 4th 2015


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 38.1
    Current BMI: 38.1
    Goal BMI: 23


    Statistics:
    Weight to Lose: 6st12lb
    % Lost 0%
    Gwella thats a really hood point. I don't enjoy eating the rubbish anymore at all...like you say it is obviously a need for something else. My husband comes home on Thursday. He is Starting a new job here in the UK so will be back with us full time which should really help! I may finally have some time for me, I'd love to start going to the gym like I did in the days before children!
    Goals:

    1. To lose 7 lbs
    2. To lose 1 stone

  15. #15
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    Height: 5ft7in
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    Current Weight: 17st5lb
    Goal Weight: 10st7lb
    Goal Date: July 4th 2015


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 38.1
    Current BMI: 38.1
    Goal BMI: 23


    Statistics:
    Weight to Lose: 6st12lb
    % Lost 0%
    Kitty puss thanks for your message and support...I can't seem to reply to your message! Not doing so well this week but am sitting down this evening to make a meal plan for the next few days which should help. Your thoughts on what gives you motivation is very powerful stuff! I am scared of what I am doing to myself eating badly and not exercising. My 3 year old is obsessed with fat tummies at the moment and reduced me to tears yesterday as she said sadly that she doesn't like my big tummy as it is always in the way.......the way she looked at me was awful. I guess that needs to be my motivation
    Goals:

    1. To lose 7 lbs
    2. To lose 1 stone

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