Desperately needd help with binging.

Hi all,

I have been following SW for four years and I've lost just over 10 stone. I didn't go to group because I had no job at the time. When I got a job I became an online member and I still am today. I have gone from a size 22/24 to a size 8/10, 20stone 6lbs to 10stone and I aim to be 9stone 7lbs. I lost the first 7 stone in the first 18 months while I was not a member, and although it is not always recommended, I have always saved up 3 syns a day for a Saturday treat day and it worked as you can see from my measurements above. I also usually come off plan for the weekend of my birthday every year and for a week at Christmas. I guess different things work for different people.

The thing is recently, probably the last 6 weeks or so I've started to go off the rails. I am good and I follow plan diligently all week, I usually do a mix of EE and Green days. My Saturday treat has turned in to a full on crazed binge where I am just shovelling any old junk food in to my mouth for no reason. Within 15 minutes of being out of bed this morning I had gone about 15 syns over the ones that I had saved for my treat and I'm still picking on food now. I feel so bad when I do it because the last thing I want to do is go backwards. I tell myself every week that I'm not going to do it next Saturday, then I do. I weighed myself this morning and I am now up to 10stone 8lbs, and although this may sound ridiculous to some people, when I was bigger I wouldn't even notice a gain in weight, now I can feel it and almost point out where it has landed so to speak. My mum and I heard the neighbours talking about me after I had gone in the house the other day saying "see I told you she wouldn't keep it all off for long." Which has really hurt me. I have been having a bit of a rough time this year and started to suffer from depression, this also stopped me exercising because I guess I just lost my enthusiasm (I came off my antidepressants because they were making my appetite huge) and I had surgery 3 weeks ago, but that really is no excuse. My confidence is now sinking. My doctor told me the other day that it's just comfort eating, but surely that would be something I would do whenever I feel bad not just one day a week.

If anyone has any advice they can offer on staying on track or new ways to boost my losses so that I keep focused I would be so very grateful.

Hey

Well done on your amazing loss so far! Some incredible stats there
I know its easier said than done, but I'd take no notice of the neighbours- it was a rubbish thing for them to say regardless of whether you could hear or not. It's terrible how some people thrive on others misfortune/unhappiness.
Do you think you could pack in your Saturday treat night say for, a month?
I can imagine advice may go one of two ways- binge til your fed up and draw a line or be a bit stricter til you learn control again. (Plus other suggestions hopefully!).
If it were me, I would worry about how long it would take me to get fed up and draw the line, and getting back on that wagon from a fall is a lot harder than clinging on in my experience ;-)
Maybe on a Saturday you could use your usually daily allowance on treats and make your own fakeaway or do something you wouldn't normally- cinema, steady walks etc.
Hope this helps and you feel better in mind and body soon x

I sense jealousy with regards to the neighbours! You've done brilliant. xx

Thanks for the ideas, I like them. I'll definitely give them a whirl! I think I'll have to try the fakeaway suggestion and keep clinging on, like you say falling off the wagon completely is worse. Thank you both for your kind words! X

Your loss is AMAZING! Well done! I can completely empathise with you, I lost 4.5 stone and was only couple of stone away from target, but I started really struggling with depression and, like you, started letting myself go here and there until I just stopped eating sensibly at all, lived off pizza and icecream and am right back where I started - literally every pound I lost went back. To say I am gutted is an understatement. However, I have sat back and looked at everything I had achieved and realised that I can do it again.
I guess, try to look back at how you were to how you are now, and think about what is more important to you AT THE MOMENT. I was so unwell with my depression that actually my weight came second, I was annoyed about gaining it back but equally my priority was getting better. Don't beat yourself up over it, just be gentle with yourself and see where your priorities lie at the moment. It would be a shame to undo all your hard work but equally, if you do it is not the end of the world, you've done it once and can do it again. However the other detrimental aspects of eating unhealthily to your general health are worth considering, so don't just throw in the towel. I find that riding a bike makes me feel happier, and swimming. Reach out to your loved ones and tell them that you are having a hard time, ask them to join you for walks, or to come round yours on Saturdays if you don't feel able to go out, so you don't feel so able to overeat - in a "would I eat all this in front of someone" sense... I a terrible secret eater, so maybe take that option away from yourself?
I'm sorry to hear you are having a hard time, and please ignore the crappy comments from your neighbour - the only person whose opinion of you counts is you. You have made some amazing and extremely impressive achievements, and if their only way to feel better about their lives is to try to diminish what you have achieved, then they are not worth worrying about. Xxx

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. It is comforting to be encouraged by someone who's been there and is still fighting on, but understands where I'm coming from, so thank you. I'm taking on board everything that has been said to me here today and I think if i can take control of one thing at a time I should be alright. As the problems both feed in to each other I don't suppose it's too important which one I start with, they'll kind of sort each other out! Thanks!

Honestly, I think if someone reaches out, if you can then its only right to try to help. If I can ever be an ear then feel free to get in touch
Chin up and don't let bitter and nasty people get the better of you because you've achieved so much, and that's sometimes too easy to lose sight of. X

You have received some very good and encouraging messages here, which I hope you will find helpful. Could I also add some practical suggestions?

This food you are bingeing on - where is it? What I mean is, if you sit down and have a binge, where is that food coming from? Do you have it in the house? Do you go out specially for it?

If you could control these aspects you might find the bingeing easier to control.

I am guessing from what you say about having 15 syns over your allowance within 15 minutes of getting up, that this food is in your cupboards or your fridge. But if you didn't buy the food in the first place you couldn't eat it. So the time to take control is in the shop. Make a list and don't buy anything else. If I buy biscuits, for instance, they will be gone in minutes. No half-eaten packets of biscuits in my house, I am ashamed to say! So, mostly, I don't buy them at all.

And don't tell yourself that they are for other people in the family - junk food is no better for anyone else than it is for you.

If you think you would go out for something, or order something to be delivered, find ways of stopping yourself from doing this. You couldn't, for instance, go out if you had put a face mask on, nor would you want to answer the door like that! (Well, I wouldn't!)

Think about it - there is a way around every problem if you think it through.

Good luck!

You've done amazingly well! Congratulations
binging is a horrible habit to get into and very hard to stop, I do it and can't stop no matter how hard I try so my advice is to stop while you can! Don't buy junk food or trigger foods and tell the craving to get lost when it comes along! There is no line when it comes to ending binge eating, you become used to eating it and your body wants more and more each time. Once you get into it, it's very hard to control
good luck getting back on track, don't allow others to sabotage you x

I might use the face mask one myself! Also closing any online food accounts you might have like I do, could help

Thank you both for your advice and kind words.

The treats are in a cupboard in the kitchen and the stupid thing is that I don't even bother with the cupboard the other 6 days of the week. It isn't even my stuff. After having to move back in with my parents a year ago, they know not to buy me cakes and treats and keep their stuff away in the cupboard. I've got to find a way to ignore the cupboard, it wouldn't be fair of me to expect them to go without or hide food.

Thanks again both, I am taking all suggestions on board. X

What about telling yourself that to take their stuff would be stealing? That you couldn't possibly eat it because you would never steal from your parents.

Obviously it isn't literally true, but it might be worth trying to convince yourself that it is!

Your weight loss so far is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND you did it without a group! You're an INSPIRATION!!!!!!! How have you done it? What's your advice?

Depression sucks, doesn't it?! Takes away motivation, and replaces it with lethargy, exhaustion and self criticism - Plus surgery! AND having to return to your folks for whatever reasons - It's hard, as an adult, to feel dependent and back like a child again - however great your folks are about it - soooooo... put all that together and I think you're doing a great job AND I think you need SOMETHING to acknowledge how brilliantly you're doing - maybe (and of course I don't know), but maybe you're having a binge because you feel you deserve SOMETHING - what emotions were you feeling while you were binging? (don't hae to share here, obviously) - angry, lonely, in need of a cuddle? feeling unloved or like you deserve a reward for the hard time you've been going through? Have a think... and then see if there's some other way of getting those needs met another way... a candle-lit bubbly bath? giving yourself a foot massage and pedicure? arranging to meet with a friend for a country walk?

-Can you fill your fridge with a load of "free" junk food? This morning I had a cooked breakfast (cooked tomatoes, mushrooms, egg, etc etc) and while I was cooking it I was binging on rasberries and blueberries from the fridge, plus pints of squash - I was STUFFED before I even finished prepping the cooked breakfast - could you 'binge' on free stuff until you're stuffed to the brim? not a healthy solution at all, but might just save you then pounds whilst fulfilling your binging needs in the short term??

Good luck - and DO let us know your tips and advice based on your amazing journey! You're officially my inspiration now! Fact! xxxx

That's a very kind offer Wirik, thank you very much!

That's a good idea Anna! Thanks!

Hi Enough. You make some good points about feelings. I guess I just ignored them, but I do sometimes feel like I deserve the "treat" but then I feel so bad that it's not a treat any more. I know I live with my parents, but I'm often lonely. I have one friend who is disabled and I visit her and take her out etc once a week, but I had surgery 3 weeks ago and she hasn't even text to ask if I am alright. It's like I focus all week and then lose the plot on Saturday. I know the mindset that got me so overweight in the first place and occasionally I can feel it creeping in. That's quite scary.

My only tips really may sound odd to most people, but I never set a goal weight or a put a weekly target in my head, I figured that way I wouldn't feel upset with myself if I had a bad week. I would go to Boots once a week and weigh myself, I'd then collect all of the little print outs to keep tabs on my weight. After a while as the losses started to slow down in didn't want to get disheartened so I'd go once a fortnight. I know the overall loss would have been the same, but in my mind it looks better on the paper print out. I also never told anyone that I was trying to lose weight, I think that was where I'd failed before because I felt like I had pressure on me to stick to it and shift the weight and ultimately the pressure always got me. The only thing I wish that I'd have done differently looking back is exercised. I didn't start exercising until last year, yes it has made a difference to me, but I feel like if I'd have done it from day 1 things may have not headed quite so far south lol. I stopped exercising in April when everything went pear shaped, I must get back to it.

Everyone here has been so very helpful and kind. I really really do appreciate it!!!!!! X

I suffered dreadfully with binge eating disorder and went to a psychotherrapy group at a local psychiatric hospital. It helped because it made me realise that I wasn't the only binger out there! Your weight loss is incredible and the fact that you have managed it without group support is really amazing! I still get the urge to binge, but as has been suggested above, if i have to pig out then I do it on cherry tomatoes or pickled cucumbers or something else that's superfree. You say that you didn't set yourself a weekly goal while losing weight and this really struck a chord with me, because I didn't either (much to the annoyance of the consultant at my SW group!) I was wondering if you have maybe set your target too low and maybe your body is reacting against that?

Thank you for your support and kind words. I think that a group may be of some help. I mentioned it to my GP a while ago, but all of the groups were during working hours so I couldn't go. I see what you mean about the target being low and my body reacting to it, I would like to lose a little more weight though. I'll see if I can pick myself up a bit first. X

oooh - I've just read your reply and I'm soooo pleased that I did - I have weigh-in this evening and I'm not expecting to have lost much - so THANK YOU! I'm not going to care about just this one weigh-in It's the long term picture that counts, and so your post has come just in time.

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend who hasn't texted. Perhaps it's worth biting the bullet and texting her - maybe she's got herself in a muddle about it - we all do sometimes.

Of course you're a bit lonely - having parents around isn't the same thing as having your own home/friends/relationship/family..... You've got US and even though we all hide behind a pretend name, we're real people and we're here for you

I like ladylady's idea of binging on cherry tomatoes and gherkins - I binge on frozen peas haha!! That probably sounds really strange, but it seems to be working for me

Love xx

Angelkitty said:

Thank you for your support and kind words. I think that a group may be of some help. I mentioned it to my GP a while ago, but all of the groups were during working hours so I couldn't go. I see what you mean about the target being low and my body reacting to it, I would like to lose a little more weight though. I'll see if I can pick myself up a bit first. X

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This might not be applicable to your working situation, but could you mention it to your employers? Some years ago my psychiatrist recommended I attend a weekly group to address problems I was having, and my workplace were REALLY supportive. They let me have three hours a week to attend the group, and kept it all confidential (I told my colleagues it was a medical appointment and the bosses backed me up on that).

It helped that the group was for a set amount of time (three months) and I realise that your work situation might be very different, but it might be something to think about?

FuC£ the neighbours. Their ignorance is unfortunate but will get them in the end, nobody is perfect. Well done for your massive weight loss, I'm only in my first week of SW and you truly are an inspiration.

I read that you said you've just been through surgery a few weeks back? Remember your pre op assessment where they told you what could go wrong and possible side effects? Well what they don't tell you about is the side effects of the anaesthetic, causing insomnia (are you staying awake later and eating more in that time?), the constipation and bloating (making you more on the scales and hiding any real progress?). It also causes depression (which will make you feel like you need to treat yourself as you deserve cheering up).

I had knee surgery last year and it took me two months to shake off all of these side effects. I wish someone had told me what to expect but in the end I worked it out and researched it. The body goes through a lot of trauma when you have an op, plus you're forced to slow down and do less while you're recovering. Which means we move less and even our metabolism slows down (and mine is pretty slow anyway). Also your body cries out for what nutrients it thinks it needs. I binged on haribo for weeks - geletin and traces of nutrients that would help repair my bone and cartilage damage plus the sugar my body needed to regain the 'get up and go'. Only I wasn't going anywhere as my leg was pinned! So I just piled it on :/

You need to think about when and what you're eating, make those things unavailable and also give yourself a bit of a break, you've done fantastically well but have had recent trauma to your body and it just needs a little tlc and confidence boost x

You have done amazingly, and I'm sure the comments of your colleagues and friends about how fantastic you look now and how well you've done will far outweigh the jealous comments of one nasty insecure neighbour.

I too am a serial binge eater, the last year hasn't been a particularly good one for me either and I fall prey to low moods easily. With that, I comfort ate and it wasn't unusual for me to eat 5 doughnuts in one go, for a snack. I was easily topping 3500 calories a day at one point. In the end I knew I had to do something and like other posters have said, I just stopped buying things that were bad for me. I weaned myself off by buying lower calorie treats like yogurts (the new muller corner greek whipped ones OMG) and pink & white wafers. There has been times I've eaten the whole packet in one go but it's better to do that than eat a whole packet of chocolate/doughnuts in one go. That way I just weaned myself off slowly. That would be my suggestion for you.

I hope you are really proud of yourself and what you have achieved, and a minor 8lb set back is a drop in the ocean compared to how much weight you have lost in total - I struggle to lose a stone let alone 10! You're definitely the inspiration of many

We're human beings, we're not perfect - we need to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and keep going. Find what makes you happy and do it, I can't imagine how amazing it must have felt to pick up a size 10 and it fit. Maybe treat yourself to a little shopping trip to remind yourself how better you look now, how better you're clothes fit and how stronger you are because of your journey.

Well done I really hope you get out of this rut soon, you can do it!