Feeling out of sorts with the group

V

Vahevala

Full Member
Hi all,

I go to a very local group (it is literally around the corner from my house) but I feel like there is a huge clique there and sometimes I just feel alone there. Some of these people take over but one one hand, I feel as it is so local, maybe I should just ignore it, go to group & get what I need out of it and move on.

I tried joining the local one, in the hope of making friends but that didn't work, I tried to add some of these people from the group FB but they clearly didn't want to be my friend.. just feel low about the whole thing. :(
 
Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I would go along and get what I need to support me with my slimming journey. Take no notice of personalities in play.

You are the important one, at my group there is a group of three women as you describe. I just zone them out!

In my group, the leader has a closed group on Face Book which all members can join. Is really helpful. Maybe your leader has similar.
 
I'm sorry to hear that. We have a new lady in my group who left another local group for similar reasons. Is there another local group that you could join? It could be worth the inconvenience to attend a supportive group where you feel welcome.
 
SW Sally said:
Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I would go along and get what I need to support me with my slimming journey. Take no notice of personalities in play.

You are the important one, at my group there is a group of three women as you describe. I just zone them out!

In my group, the leader has a closed group on Face Book which all members can join. Is really helpful. Maybe your leader has similar.
Click to expand...

I think you are right, I am a member of the closed group but at times these women even take over the FB!! I will go there, get what I need and move on... my losses are more important than everything else. :)

Thank you
 
Ooh I hate cliquey women. :mad:

They remind of groups of chickens all clucking away. Lol

Ive looked at your stats, wow, you are doing a fantastic job without them anyway!

My advice would be to ignore them, do your thing and carry on regardless, because whatever it is you're doing, is working fantastically xx
 
Sorry to hear that :( Is there no other groups around that you could join? My group is ok, I don't feel like my consultant is very knowledgeable but I find that just going keeps me motivated so hopefully it will keep you going too! Don't let it put you off, if anything use it to better yourself and challenge yourself to loose even more :)
 
My group is similar. A bunch of the consultants family attend and then a bunch more of them are the family friends of the consultant and her sister. I have always thought she was being funny with me but I can be over sensitive so I just told myself it was in my head. Her conduct on the facebook group in the last few weeks has made it clear it is not in my head. It is the most convenient group for both time and locale but I'm not going to continue to give my money to someone who clearly holds me in such contempt for something I'm not even aware I've done! I will be moving onto a new group next week. I pay for support and guidance. I'm not going to be treated that way by someone who is effectively running a business and getting paid to help me lose weight. It's a shame as a lot of the ladies are really nice but it's important that if you're paying money for support and guidance on something as sensitive as losing weight that you feel comfortable and well, supported! Good Luck.
 
Hi would you not be able to talk to your consultant to say something in class obviously not with names my consultant has rules if people are discounting I.e talking while someone else is an listen to what everyone has to say she also makes sure if someone joins alone to sit them with someone in group (who's been there for a while normally her helpers) so they don't feel left out its ok when you go with a friend but even harder alone I hope you find the right group it's important you enjoy going to enjoy your journey
 
Why don't you offer to help weigh/collect money/man the shop? Will get you talking to people and a bit more involved with things.
I think this is something that is a regular occurrence, my group is much the same.

xxxxx
 
My group used to be the same, I have social anxiety so socialising is hard as it is but I didn't feel welcome at all. I did mention it to my consultant though and things changed eventually so something was obviously said. Could you maybe mention it to her in private? x
 
Tempestina said:
My group is similar. A bunch of the consultants family attend and then a bunch more of them are the family friends of the consultant and her sister. I have always thought she was being funny with me but I can be over sensitive so I just told myself it was in my head. Her conduct on the facebook group in the last few weeks has made it clear it is not in my head. It is the most convenient group for both time and locale but I'm not going to continue to give my money to someone who clearly holds me in such contempt for something I'm not even aware I've done! I will be moving onto a new group next week. I pay for support and guidance. I'm not going to be treated that way by someone who is effectively running a business and getting paid to help me lose weight. It's a shame as a lot of the ladies are really nice but it's important that if you're paying money for support and guidance on something as sensitive as losing weight that you feel comfortable and well, supported! Good Luck.
Click to expand...

You should put all of this in a letter to the consultant, with a copy to SW Head Office, explaining exactly why you have left. There are rules about how a consultant should behave and this one is not following them.
 
Vahevala said:
Hi all,

I go to a very local group (it is literally around the corner from my house) but I feel like there is a huge clique there and sometimes I just feel alone there. Some of these people take over but one one hand, I feel as it is so local, maybe I should just ignore it, go to group & get what I need out of it and move on.

I tried joining the local one, in the hope of making friends but that didn't work, I tried to add some of these people from the group FB but they clearly didn't want to be my friend.. just feel low about the whole thing. :(
Click to expand...

When new people join, grab them and chat to them. They will be pleased to have someone to talk to, and you will be making an ever-increasing circle of friends. In other words - make your own clique! (Except yours will be a friendly one, of course!)
 
AnnaFaraday said:
When new people join, grab them and chat to them. They will be pleased to have someone to talk to, and you will be making an ever-increasing circle of friends. In other words - make your own clique! (Except yours will be a friendly one, of course!)
Click to expand...

This is great advice! good idea xx
 
AnnaFaraday said:
You should put all of this in a letter to the consultant, with a copy to SW Head Office, explaining exactly why you have left. There are rules about how a consultant should behave and this one is not following them.
Click to expand...

It's more bother than it's worth to complain. I don't want to say too much as I know a lot of people who go to various groups read this website but she has been defensive and off with me since she took the group over from another lady and I honestly have no idea why. We didn't know each other from Adam before I started slimming world and I'm not from the area so she can't know me or anyone connected to me either. It's cool though, the lady she took the group from still operates in the area and has two groups that will be just about as easy for me as this one. I'm looking at it as I would any other customer service issue. I didn't like the service so I'll take my custom and money somewhere else! I tried all the other tips. I offered to help with admin things, but was passed over etc so I've done my part to join in and fit it, I'm going to take that to mean the issue is not me and it's not worth losing sleep over.
 
Tempestina said:
It's more bother than it's worth to complain. I don't want to say too much as I know a lot of people who go to various groups read this website but she has been defensive and off with me since she took the group over from another lady and I honestly have no idea why. We didn't know each other from Adam before I started slimming world and I'm not from the area so she can't know me or anyone connected to me either. It's cool though, the lady she took the group from still operates in the area and has two groups that will be just about as easy for me as this one. I'm looking at it as I would any other customer service issue. I didn't like the service so I'll take my custom and money somewhere else! I tried all the other tips. I offered to help with admin things, but was passed over etc so I've done my part to join in and fit it, I'm going to take that to mean the issue is not me and it's not worth losing sleep over.
Click to expand...

I don't think it is more bother than it's worth. If you just go somewhere else and don't say why, nothing will change. It's just a letter (or an email) and will only take a couple of minutes.
 
Hi Vahevala. As Kay said, your weight loss so far is amazing! Well done! Sorry to hear your group is unfriendly but, don't forget, we are always here and you couldn't get a more supportive, fun group anywhere! So glad you've joined! :) As for the other group, I agree with the suggestion of possibly finding another group. It may not be quite as conveniently located but the support, if it's good, could make all the difference. Good luck, with whatever you decide to do.

Kathy x
 
Thank so much everyone for the kind words, my consultant is away next week so I am considering trying out another group, just to see what it is like and then if I like it, I may switch. :)
 
Vahevala said:
Thank so much everyone for the kind words, my consultant is away next week so I am considering trying out another group, just to see what it is like and then if I like it, I may switch. :)
Click to expand...

Great idea, good on you for taking positive action. Would have been all too easy to just give up. :)
 
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