Thread: Self Image

Anyone else having probs coming to terms with their changing image?I have lost 32lbs down from size 26 to 18.Feel great but have still got the size 26 head on,almost as if I havent really lost weight.I cant explain it,its like someone else having the losses!Am I the only one loosing my marbles as well as fat!I think Its cos I have stuck at it this time for the longest period,(usually give up after a couple of weeks)Cant believe I have stuck at it for nearly 4 months.Will have to slap meself round the head with a wet kipper to knock some sense in!

I totally agree with you I so cant get used to being skinnier infact I will go so far as to say I dont feel like me anymore! Im having for the first time in my life serious self image issues. I go shopping and I cant buy anything because I dont know what will suit me, ive always been well dressed and when i was a size 26 I knew exactly what i suited and spent a fortune on gorgeous clothes in lovely colours I could just walk in a shop and go thats ace buy it and walk out now im living in jeans and t shirts because I walk in shops etc look at size 18's and 20s and think arghhhh is it any good will it fit will it suit me .. to me im still fat in my head?? I was doing my ironing at weekend and ended up putting about 4 of my new t-shirts in someone elses ironing pile as I automatically thought thats too small it cant be mine

I know I shouldnt moan im going into 2009 stones lighter than when i started 2008 but i just need my flipping head to catch up so I can find a lovely outfit to do it in and actually enjoy myself whilst doing it Mr G has even noticed that im not my usual confident self how do I say to him well I half wish I was fat again because the me in the mirror would match the me in my head! without sounding like a total weirdo, and then go through the whole i dont actually wish it but my head is mashed spiel

I will slap you round the head with a wet kipper if you do the same for me! but your not alone I think itll take a while for years of being big to turn into WAHEEY IM SKINNIER the mind is a weird ass thing!

Gen x

I think it does take an awful long time to change the way we think about ourselves. Especially if you've been overweight for a long time as it's just "how we are" in our heads. I've had a similar but opposite experience in the last year as I have gained nearly 4 stone in a year. I wasn't small to begin with, but I'm even bigger now, several sizes bigger. I have no concept of my size. I see clothes on the racks that I think to myself, "hmmmm... they might be a bit too baggy" and then am horrifed that I can't even get them past my thighs. It's taken me months to get my head round just how big I've gotten.

Years ago I lost around 4 stone and was my fittest ever. I knew that I needed to buy new clothes because my old ones were just so loose, they looked awful. But in picking out new ones in my size, I was still going for the looser, less revealing options as that is what I had done all my life to cover up an overweight body. My psychology hadn't yet embraced that I wasn't that person anymore. This time though... you know what? I'm going to make sure I show all my hard work off to the world!!

I know what you mean. Last year I lost 4 and a half stone on SW. Everyone kept saying wow you have done fab and you look fab. I did feel better in my self but to me I was still the size I was when I started.

It's funny isn't it how it takes our brain a while to recognise who it is that is standing in front of them.

I went shopping at the weekend and even though I know I am size 10/12, I was picking up 14's and 16's because I thought that the others looked way too small - only to be asked by the girl in changing room if I meant to pick them up!

I suppose there is an element of habit - hope the head catches up soon though.

LRO xx

For as long as i can remember i've been a 14-18 (with a few months i was a 20-22) so god knows what it will be like to be any smaller than that (my goal is a 10)

I suppose, cause i've never been slim, i can't see it happening.. but positive thinking and all that! xx

Thanks Gene Genie(Bowie fan?)and Minders,glad Im not alone.Know what you mean about being able to dress as a 26,me too always got compliments!Now I live in jeans/black pants and a top.As you say when you have been big for so long its hard to take in.I just cant beleive I am finally doing it week after week.I dont cheat/relapse,feel its too good to be true!Going back to see the surgeon this thursday about wls,dont know if I need it to keep the weight off or what.Always have in back of mind Ive lost some weight before but put more on later.Thanks for your replies really helped,will chill a bit more and go with the flow!!

Hi All

I can fully understand what you are saying about looking in the mirror and someone else is there looking at you... this I found when I finally admitted that I had got to big... I was looking in there thinking OMG where have I gone.

I lost a lot of weight prior to meeting my husband and kept it off till I married him and over the years it has just crept up on me and now it scared me half to death!!!

I crave the old me and can't wait till I feel more like me again. I have never been slim... but I think the thing we have to think of which is important.. it isn't the size it is what is comfortable and healthy for us.

Yeah I would love to be a size 10... in my dreams.... but I am happy to settle for what I am comfortable with and what makes me feel so good....

So when you go shopping ... go with a good friend.. not someone who is jealous of how much you have lost and now sees you as a threat, so will say yeah.. that looks good and omg it is awful!!!

I am sure with all the people on here there must be someone close by that will meet up with you and go shopping together! At least you know you will get an honest opinion...

And the main thing is... don't pour yourself into a size that is too small... this always makes people look bigger... but don't go for over the top baggy either as you have done so well.

I have seen it so many times.. my sister is in the rag trade and I had worked with her for many years ...the things that I did see... the women who refused to be the next size up walking out with something far too small and it looked awful... I always suggested other things but it is that head thing again.

Does it really matter what others think what size clothes you are in... if they fit right they will flatter you no matter what size you are.

Oppps I have gone on and on haha... will shut up before I write a novel lol...

Know what you mean Treats!I will be content to lose a couple of more stone.dont want to be thin at all.Size14/16 will suit me better than 10/12.Get me talking about being a 14!!

Originally Posted by Big an Bouncy

Know what you mean Treats!I will be content to lose a couple of more stone.dont want to be thin at all.Size14/16 will suit me better than 10/12.Get me talking about being a 14!!

You see BB this is the thing.... women are told that unless you are within the 10/12 bracket you are abnormal... what a load of crock that is.

I am far from that size and always have compliments about my dress sense .... style hair makeup etc So you don't have to be skinny to look good.

You do have to do a lot of leg work and make more of an effort as people are shallow that most won't see past your size but believe me I am not short of compliments which always give you a boost.

It isn't always about trends either it is about style... build your own style and go with that... build on that and before you know it...your new image will be right next to you smiling along the way.

We all wish to see ourselves slim... but I don't envisage myself slim... I see myself smaller more full of life (oh and without a bad back and neck which won't happen but we can all dream haha) but most importantly happier!

Also as I keep mentioning friends which are very important.... we meet all walks of life throughout our life and some are meant to stay and some we are just met to only meet for a brief moment.. as you change, your prospective will change and this isn't shallow you will start to see thing differently and you will maybe move on in different circles...so don't find something else to kick yourself about.. this is life... it is for living and for shouting from the roof tops..... I am alive and smaller haha (they will probably think you were originally 5ft 10 hahaha)

Omg I have done it again lol...


*wanders off to measure how tall she is*

I agree with the others...I remember the days when I had lost so much weight the clothes in Evans were too big for me (much to the annoyance of my friend!). It takes a long time for our heads to catch up with our bodies both physically and mentally and quite often you will catch a glimpse of your reflection and think crikey is that me???
I still try and avoid shopping as much as I can, but recently after WLS I have lost 3 stone and my trousers!!! (Literally fell down to my knees at work one morning - not a pretty sight I can tell you!)..thats when I knew I needed the next size or 2 down and dragged myself to the shops and I actually quite enjoyed it!

I know how you feel I recently when into one of those horrible hall of mirrors, I stood in front of the one that makes you look small and dumpy. I was with my friends from work and looked at myself “yuck I said to my friend, that mirror makes me look like I haven’t lost any weight at all (I have lost 2.5st) it makes me look like I was in January. She looked at me strangely and said “what? You have never looked like that!!” It finally made me aware that what my mind tells me is not true.

Hugs

Jen

I think once you've been big you can never get out of the mentality. It's been a while since I was a 24 but I still sit on trains / buses etc thinking that I take up more than one seat. I panic if I see a turnstile as the memory of struggling with them previously is emblazened in my mind.
I do think though that these are the memories that should deter us from going back. Issues with food are like issues with cigarettes or alcohol. You might gain control but the mentality is always there, that's why it's good to keep it fresh in your mind. I can't help calculating how fattening a cocktail is now then feeling obliged to select the healthier option and yes, that's annoying - especially when my size 10 friend doesn't have that problem but ultimately it's what keeps me from sliding.
Sorry for rambling but I can get quite evangelical about weight loss - plus the point I'm making is totally evident here - in the fact that while we might post about a bad day or weekend usually it's because we're trying to get back on track before we do irrepairable damage. It's a good way to be, at least when we put on a pound or two we're thinking thin i.e. oops that's going to have to come off next week.

It's a lifestyle not a diet thank goodness it's a pleasant one

(Again apologies for the ramble)

I hate shopping to be honest cause it makes me face facts i'm not the size i used to be (before i put Domino's in my phone book on my mobile) and i was going through my old pics yesterday to find some of me so i can have a 'before' picture and i had tears in my eyes cause i didn't realise i looked that big...
I try and 'think myself thin' but can't do it... xx

I keep sneaking off to the shops to have trying on sessions. I've found it really helps me to put outfits together, otherwise I'm overwhelmed with the choice I now have. I think it takes a while to grow into your new size.