About to start slimming world for the second time

Hi there everybody,
I'm about to start slimming world (again) so i just wanted to tell you about myself and what kind of journey i've been through.
I started slimming world jan 2013 my 1st weigh in i was 20st 6 and a half pounds.
In my first week I lost 9 and a half pounds which absolutely amazed me and woke me up to how slimming world can really work.
I went on to have big losses from 6lb to 3 lb in quick succession. by April i had won slimmer of the week 6 times and lost 3 stone.
But then my weight loss stared to slow down dramatically, all of a sudden i was losing half a pound here and a pound there and this continued until i had lost 3 and a half stone. I was attending the gym regularly and i was running 5 miles 2-3 times a week (i couldn't even run for a bus in January)
Then something happened to me.
I started over doing my sins and eating the wrong things here and there but id be ok because i'd tell myself that i just wouldn't use my sins for the rest of the week but of course I would.
And so the losses started to turn into gains, 1lb 2lb 3 lb 4lb.
I carried on lying to myself and others around me about my food intake. I started secret eating and then took the decision to leave slimming world because i knew if i did i could get away with eating however i wanted and nobody would be any wiser.
Problem is that I know and its driven me to a bit of a dark place, im now 20st 5lbs again and depression is absolutely upon me.
I took the decision a week ago to start doing the slimming world plan but without actually joining as I couldn't afford it aswell as buy all the food but im failing miserably, i kept a food diary for the first few days but that still hasn't stopped me from giving into food cravings and secret eating and im at my wits end.
I honestly don't think i've ever felt so low in all my life. i cant even walk the street without being overly self conscious about what people think of my size. I just don't want to live like this any longer so i've taken the decision today to bite the bullet and rejoin slimming world on Saturday and to also get back in the gym, which wont be easy as i seem to have developed some kind of fear around going to the gym even though i was absolutely loving it 6 months ago.
Well there you have it, it hasn't been easy to open my heart up like this but i have done so that if any one on here has had a similar experience and is willing to share with me how they went about getting out of this horrible rut.

Hey sweet, welcome back to the lovely world of Slimming World!

The good thing is, that if you've done it before, you 100% CAN do it again, you just need to believe you can.

I totally get what you mean about the Gym and the fear of going places, is there a way maybe you could exercise at home for bit first, until you get your confidence up? I know you've said money is tight, but you'd be amazed what equipment you can pick up cheap - my house slightly resembles a gym now - and none of it was wallet-busting!

I think everyone has ruts during the journey, I lost about 3 stone and then put it all back on again - plus another half stone for good measure - but the important thing is that you keep trying, you haven't failed in anyway until you stop trying. I know it's hard to imagine getting back on it, but I always find that after a week or so I'm actually excited about it again.

Good luck!
X

Thanks for the kind words, Its all planned for saturday morning i will let you know how i get on.

Thats great news about starting on sat,you are def not alone in the battle although it feels that way as only ourselves can change things.I am struggling to get out the house 3 times a day as I feel like im wobbling up the road & everyone is staring but I need to to get my kids to school & also if I didn't I would only get worse & more depressed & turn to food!Just think about what an amazing summer we could have with a few stone off!Thats what is keeping me motivated ,Goodluck

Hi biglad, is it worth going to the doctors and telling them how you're feeling? I know it'd be hard to go but getting some meds might help you feel better and then less inclined to overeat and/or they may give you sw on prescription?

I hope you get to a better place soon.

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hi biglad
wow i can really understand where you are coming from i have done the same thing but am back on it this week and up to know all going well
please let me know how you get on at your meeting saturday x x

Yes of course will do. Feeling really nervous about it for some reason.

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biglad1978 said:

Yes of course will do. Feeling really nervous about it for some reason.

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aww bless you i think i would then once in im ok lolol

Hi Biglad, I went through a similar thing. I lost almost four stone with SW but fell off the wagon and put loads back on. I stopped going to meetings so I could eat loads too, and I was eating in secret. I resolved that I would eat what I liked at Christmas then I'd get back on the wagon. I then totally sickened myself of junk and got back on plan on the 27th December. Something has clicked into place for me and I'm really enjoying SW all over again. Plus I've lost 15lbs since my restart. All this and I've been eating chips (done SW style) every day! You need to remember that SW truly is a diet for people who love food and if you're like me you feel so much better both physically and psychologically when you're eating on plan. You can do it - good luck!

hi krupskaya
oh yes i agree totally i to seem to be in good mind and soul this time and im not having to push myself to do it
well done on your loss to x x x

Hi everyone, just a quick update.
I went and joined slimming world this morning:clap:
My first weigh in was daunting and I was 20st 10lb which was more than i expected and 4lb heavier than when I joined last year, lets just say I'm glad I've taken this decision now before its gotten any worse.
I also went to the gym straight after my meeting so im feeling quite good and proud of myself that I have taken this step towards getting back on track.
I think im going to start a food diary on here. what do you think guys?

Well done for getting back to class this morning, that is the biggest step I think!

You are sounding so much more positive now, I bet it's a great feeling.

Food diary sounds like a good idea, go for it

biglad1978 said:

Hi everyone, just a quick update.
I went and joined slimming world this morning:clap:
My first weigh in was daunting and I was 20st 10lb which was more than i expected and 4lb heavier than when I joined last year, lets just say I'm glad I've taken this decision now before its gotten any worse.
I also went to the gym straight after my meeting so im feeling quite good and proud of myself that I have taken this step towards getting back on track.
I think im going to start a food diary on here. what do you think guys?

Click to expand...

Well done on taking the step to go back to class. It's only numbers' don't dwell on where you used to be and just concentrate on the now. You have taken the control back, and getting back to the gym is amazing too.

I have decided to do a diary this time too - paper one as I need to be able to write down straight away - I suffer from food memory loss if I am not careful! It has helped me in these eary days to keep on track. I also hope to be able to use them if I want to see what I eat on a good week versus a bad one.

Good luck.

Thankyou. Im keeping 3 diaries at the moment one written, one on the slimming world website and one on minimins.
Im feeling very positive at the moment although theres still a little dread regarding the gym but other than that im feeling quite good about things.
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biglad
well done on going back to class good on you x x