Why do i sabotage my diet?
As the title suggests, I am struggling. Big time. I've struggled to lose weight since my daughter was born 21 months ago. I manage to stick to a diet for about 3 days and then it feels like I slip into a zombie like state. I eat everything I shouldn't. Without thinking. It's like I do it on auto pilot. Food shopping I a nightmare! I can't stay away from "naughty" things. I even eat my daughters treats! I actually think of myself as kinda disgusting!
My hubby is in the navy and is coming home in February after a 6 month deployment. In that time I have achieved nothing weight loss wise and have managed to put on a stone! I was diagnosed with depression in October and am on 2 antidepressants for it. I don't feel much better and life feels like a struggle. I can't get out of the mindset that if I lose weight, everything will get better but why bother losing the weight as I am fat, unattractive and can't do it anyway!!
I want to join a gym but none of them offer crèche facilities at the time I want them - 2-3pm!! It's like parents have to workout during a 9-1 window, Monday to Friday. Unfortunately I work (quite a stressful job!) part time, look after my daughter, being both mum and dad. My family are great but I feel bad relying on them more than I already do! My mum has my daughter 3 days a week already!
Well this has turned into a super long rant. I apologise and thank you for getting this far!! I truly want to the answer to the age old question of "why can't I stick to this diet! Why do I feel like I HAVE to eat the junk food (and feel terrible afterwards!) and where on earth do I find willpower and discipline?"
Any hints, tips, stories, suggestions, finger pointing, tough love, welcome!