helen144

Hi all

I have told my mum, dad and sister tonight about my plans to apply for funding for weight loss surgery, my parents said that i dont need to do it and to just diet, my sister said she thought it wouldnt be long and that Im cheating and taking the easy way out, I so wanted them to understand and agree with my decision, they said they will support me but i know when i encounter any difficulties they will just say well this was your choice, has any of you come across this problem and what do you say to them?

Helen
xxxxx
Needing lots of cuddles at the moment

everhopefull

Awww big hug to you for a start iv had this with my mum and thanks to the girls and boys iv sat her down and explained everything with her all the nice ins and outs.

She still at the moment dont agree but is standing by me I think its just going to take time maybe thats what your family need a bit of time to get used to the idea its a big thing at the end of the day and they are prob in shock that your thinking of doing it and worryed about all the complications.

Sorry to waffle hugs to you hunxxxxxx

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helen144

Thanks you didn't waffle lol, The thing is they dont live with this everyday do they so they dont understand, i so wish i could just wave a magic wand and be slim but i can't so ive decided to do what I think is right.
i tried to just say this is the tool that i need to be slim and healthy, its not an easy way out ive still got to diet in effect but i will have been given a tool to help me.

Thanks so much cos now im waffling lol

Helen
xxxxx

Cowgirl

Hi Helen

I'm sorry you're really rotten (Big cuds)

Easy option? no way. Thats just ignorance. They need to know what this is all about and as tiring as it gets, I felt like I needed to justify it to people and tell them how it works so that I didn't get those comments. Explain that you are doing this for your lifestyle, mental health and over all health. If you had a headache, you'd take a pill, well there is no pill for being overweight, and the ones they try to market dont work well enough or we'd all be on them on here and not having surgery! It is a tool to work with, youre so right in telling them that. People will always assume its cheating, thats rubbish. Its a very brave and determined person who goes through with the surgery. Brave to make such a life changing choice and determined to change themselves for the better to be healthy and essentially happy. You do what you want to do. It's your life and only you can make it the best life it can be!

Lots of love and hugs!xxx

Gina

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Cowgirl xx

ditzyangeluk

Family, don't you just love 'em!??!?! Your body, your choice - their problem!

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alliecat

I had exactly this Helen - all of my family were against my having the op saying I didn't need it, that I should just try dieting again and so on....that I am taking the easy way out and so on.

I went in and had the op done anyway - on my own and without their support. I am now four months post op and over 4 stone down and they can see the difference in me and are just starting to come round about it all and showing more interest slowly...... Stick with it, at the end of the day it is your body and you are doing it for your long term future, not theirs!

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ALI X X
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shelbell

I've ranted about this on here a few times already so I'm going to reign myself in.

In fact, I'll just copy from the other posts

There was another, much longer one, but I can't find it lol. Anywho, my point is even if it were easy, what's wrong with that?

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My Gastric Bypass Blog

Last weigh in - 27/06

Goal reached 27th April 2009

julieann

hi helen, wls certainly isn't the easy way out, i had a band fitted last week with no regrets, but without my fathers support, and even though i am middle aged with a family i have always looked to my father for his support and this time i didnt get it (he was so against the operation - simply because he was worried) but i knew that it was the right thing for me to do, but it was certainly no easy decision in fact it was probably the hardest decision that i've ever had to make

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thisisit

Hi, No way is it the easy option,its probably one of the most difficult things to have to elect to have surgery.

Other people just dont understand we can't do this with diet alone otherwise we would of,if we could of.

We are making use of the technology and expertise of medicine today, thousands before us without this have died due to excess weight and all the problems around it.

People need a filling in a tooth they have it ,people need a pair of glasses to see better they get them.

We need an implant or what ever we get it if we can.

Families, we find it hardest with as they are often our major influences throughout our lives you are not asking for permission you are informing them of your decision.Lots of us are fouled up because of families,lucky ones are,nt.

Lots of friends and support on here.
I am having a gastric ballon fitted on 29th, made a decision to tell nobody not because of shame or guilt but its my body,my life and my money.This sounds very hard and harsh but not a decision made overnight but i need assistance to lead a "normal healthy" life
I will come on here to recieve and get support in my choice.
Good luck with everything from here on in .Ava

Pookiedoodle

Oh Helen, first of all let me give you a very large hug!

(Couldn't find a hug icon just for me, so we'll all hug you!!)
I really feel that unless you have had a problem with your weight, it's very difficult, if not impossible to understand.
For somebody to say that you are taking the easy way out only proves this.
We are doing this because there is nothing left for us to do.
Maybe you could print out some literature for them to take a look at?
I've not even told my Mum (Not that she'd give a crap anyway), and I'm still trying to make up my mind whether I will ever tell her at all!
xx

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Emma xx

charliegirl

Everyone else already said what I would of said so sending you ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))....xx

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helen144

THANKYOU ALL SO MUCH, I CANT BELIEVE HOW LUCKY I AM TO HAVE FOUND THIS WEBSITE, AT LEAST YOU ALL UNDERSTAND AND ARE SUPPORTIVE, I WOULDNT MIND BUT MY PARENTS CALLED ME FAT FROM AGED 9 BEGGED ME TO LOSE WEIGHT AND NOW THEY NOT HAPPY, OH WELL, MY HUSBAND MY CHILDREN AND i ARE ALL THAT MATTER I SUPPOSE AND I HAVE SUPPORT FROM ALL OY YOU.

P.S tHANKS FOR THE HUGS THEY WERE WELL NEEDED

HELEN
XXXXXXXXXX

Mrs V

Hi Helen,
Just read your post and wanted to give you a hug too! Its definitely not an easy decision to have surgery and certainly with the risks involved whether you have a bypass or a band (I had a band).
If you really want to speak to your parents in the future about it, just explain to them that you are aware they dont believe this is for you, but its your decision at the end of the day, but would really appreciate their support after the surgery. Explain how much this means to you and has been on your mind for a long time.

Take care

Kerry-Ann
xx

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tammy

I got alot of this from my family and friends. comments like "you can do it on your own" or "you should have the will power to diet" were the story of my life!!

surgery IS NOT the easy way out. it is a huge life changing decision and to make this you need to be brave! x

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Brunetteandred

Easy way out????!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR!

That's as bad as saying Caesarean delivery is the easy way out!

I haven't even been through my procedure yet, but I know it's going to be as tough as hell. Who for pity's sake would put themselves voluntarily through a surgical procedure (unless they were a Munchausen's case) unless they had thought about it. Lots.

I have a mantra - I live inside my own head, no one else does. I walk in my own shoes, no one else does.

So no one else is qualified to tell me what I should do or which path I should follow if it concerns me. Unless it was illegal or physically hurting another.

Sorry to rant. I'm just really mad on your behalf!

I'll calm down and come back later....

Have just read Shel's post.. U rock, girl!

Big hugs to you Helen and indeed, *all* the losers / potential losers.

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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them more. (Oscar Wilde)

http://www.minimins.com/blogs/brunetteandred/