Thread: Tracey's Diary. Slow and Steady - again.

Starting my diet again this week.

12 years ago I lost 4 and a half stone to get to my target weight and kept it off with maintenance . In February my OH went to Nigeria to do voluntary work and the weight is going back on .

I eat when I'm bored , I eat when I'm sad , I eat when I'm happy , I've never been one of those people who is ever 'off their food'.

From now on everything I put in my mouth will be weighed or measured and written on my diet sheet - no cheating coz I'm only cheating myself .

My first target is to weigh less next week than I do now and then to lose 9lb to get to 10st 7lb.

My next target will be to be at goal weight or near to it next time my OH comes home .

Was it as hard as this last time I dieted?

I've had my tea and all I can think about is food. It's not as if I'm hungry - I'm not. I had salmon, very small potato and lots of carrots to fill up on. I don't know whether it's boredom, comfort or what - I just want to eat.

I'm gona try to do a list of all the reasons I'm dieting to remind myself. I don't think it'll take my mind off food but it might stop me putting it in my mouth.

1. I'll be able to choose what I want to wear instead of picking something on the basis of whether my belly protrudes too much or the tops of my arms look too wobbly.

2. My belly won't protrude and the tops of my arms won't look too wobbly no matter what I wear.

3. Cheaper clothes will look better on me than expensive ones do now.

4. I'll be able to walk better and further with less weight to carry. (I had a major car accident in 1996 and smashed my heel)

5. My bum and thighs won't spread across the whole width of the bath.

6. I'll be able to sit on my OH's knee without squashing him to death.

I'll have to try and think of all the things I used to do when I felt like this. Things must've got easier coz I did it for such a long time.

Morning Diary,

Woke up in the middle of the night wanting food - jelly sweets to be exact. This has happened every night for the last week. My own fault because before I started the diet if I woke up , I ate a few sweets. It seems my body had got used to it and is reminding me now it needs them.

I resisted them because I had no calories left for the day - I had been saving 50 cals for this before last night, but I have to get out of the habit. Took ages to get back to sleep but managed eventually.

Most people wake up in the night for a wee or a drink, I wake up for sweets - stupid really. Cross my fingers for tonight.

Tracey

So far, so good. Today I've had

Breakfast: 1and half oz choc branflakes with skimmed milk.
Dinner:2oz boiled ham, rocket on 2 slices bread, no butter but a bit of diet mayo on bread.
Tea: 2 egg omelette with 2 slices bread.

2 diet yogourts
small glass orange juice

Got full 250 cals to eat watching TV tonight!

Tracey

First weight-in since I started my diary - 3lb lost this week. Coming on this forum is doing me good, I only lost 2lb last week before I came on this.

Managed to get a proper ticker going - hope I don't forget this password.

Menu for today

1 and half oz chocolate branflakes
2oz chicken on 2 slices of bread
chicken tikka masala and 2oz (dry weight) rice.
Only 200cals for tonight because 100 has been used up for masala sauce. Never mind.

Tracey

Oh dear,

I ate too much chocolate last night. I was supposed to eat half the bar and save half for tonight and I ate the lot.

Worst thing was I just sat eating it like a zombie and didn't even taste it. That's 200 cals less for me today.

Tracey

OMG, What am I going to do for the rest of tonight? I've no calories left.

I've surfed the internet looking for a new laptop, not bought one though.

I've had a bath in bubbles up to my neck and now I'm half watching Emmerdale and half messing about on this.

10.15 is too early for bed so I'll have to persevere a bit longer and then go - bring on tomorrow and another calorie allowance!

Tracey

Hi Tracey

how did it go last night? How dou you find counting calories , when I did it I recall I always had to have vegetables on hand for emergency steaming when I had no calories left .Cauliflower is my favourite still, steam with some chicken stock. I also used to make a big pot of chicken broth.

I think its great that you weigh measure and record. I think it’s also important for each of us individually to have some thing we do consistently that keep us mindful of what we are doing.

I laughed when I read your goal of being able to sit on your O/H knees without squashing him to death. I think my O/H is so frustrated with it all he would put me over his knee if I would fit. As he has watched the weight go up he has threatened and I don’t think he was totally joking. Yieks!

Hi,

I went to bed early so that I didn't eat anything more, but I've been very good this morning and been down to the market early and got a lot of fresh vegetables for meals and soup.

I have to calorie count if I diet coz it means I can eat almost the same as I would normally but without butter and portion control. I make up for the small portions by having tons of free-veg soup. Most diets don't allow chocolate, sweets and alcohol so I'd soon give in. I find this is easier when you get to target as well coz you get used to the portions of real food that you should be eating.

The weighing and writing down is essential for me otherwise it's too easy to forget what you've had and what you've got left. That's how I put the weight back on so from now on it's weigh and record even at target.

Tracey

when you write is it just what you eat, or is also what you feel?

Belle

What I write down now is purely what I eat and drink - with the exception of water everything that goes in my mouth is written on that sheet. It includes free veg, diet drinks and coffee (I have it without milk and sugar so no calorie count).

When I first dieted if I wanted to eat at a time other than mealtimes I used to write down on the back of the sheet how I was feeling. Bored, unhappy, annoyed, happy, irritated. I found out from doing that that I ate whatever I felt like.

I tried at first to deny myself if I thought I was eating for a reason other than hunger. It didn't work for me, I just kept craving whatever it was I wanted. Then if I did eat what I craved; like chocolate, I just thought 'I've blown it now and ate loads'. Eventually I found if I just had a bit, allowed myself to enjoy it and wrote it down, that stopped the craving.

One of my biggest problems was guilt about eating. If I ate a couple of jaffa cakes, I'd feel guilty about it so I'd finish the box. Allowing myself to enjoy the 2 I ate in the first place (they were allowed, 50 cals each and written down from my extras) stopped the guilt and so I didn't have that awful feeling of, 'well that's it, blown it'.

Writing down how I felt on the back at first did help a lot. I'm not doing it now but I write things down before I eat them and ask myself a couple of things first.

1. Am I hungry? If I am, and it's not a meal time I have free veg soup or a veg mixture with chilli in. Basicly something with no calorie count to fill me up till the next meal. I won't let myself eat chocolate if I'm hungry.

2. Is what I want to eat worth the calories? A bit like if you are shopping you think, 'is it worth the money?' If I think it is I have it.

3. Am I eating it to please someone else? Other people can try to persuade you to have more food, eg. If you're at someones house and they say 'have another potato, there's only one left'. I did try at first to answer this with, 'no thankyou because of my diet' but they then tried to pressurise me, 'One potato won't make any difference'. It will and does. I started to say instead, 'no thanks I'm full, couldn't eat another thing,' that gets you out of the situation.

I know it all sounds very long winded and boring but the sheet does work.

Tracey

Tracey,

I am going to try this, i have never liked the idea of it, maybe because in the past I wasn't ready to stop eating because I did not know what the eating represented, all I knew was that stopping would be too painful and too chaotic. But in truth it required me slowing down enough to write.

Belle

Hi Belle,

It does seem difficult at first but you do get used to it. It makes you think about what you are eating like nothing else I have tried. I used to be quite happy to take a big bag of minstrels and jelly babies to bed with me and eat the lot - the empty bags were hidden so I could move them when hubby or the kids couldn't see.

There's something about knowing you've got to write that down coz you have eaten it that makes you stop.

I hope it works for you.

Tracey

Well, it was weigh-in day this morning and I'd lost a pound. I sometimes feel as if everyone else gets better weight losses than me but it's because I don't want to have so few calories that I won't keep to it.

Then I tell myself that it's 2 packets of butter and that's an awful lot of fat to lose in one week. I am now resisting the temptation to treat myself with food for losing the weight.

The best thing that can happen tonight is for my cat to get on my knee so I can't get up to get something to eat, but since he's already flat out on his blanket it'll be down to willpower.

It's 9.20pm and I have 200 cals left today, and it's not long since I finished my tea so I'm not hungry either. I'll either use them for something later or maybe try to save some for when I'm desperate later in the week.

Tracey

I fell asleep watching a film last night, so I managed to save the whole 200 cals! I'm gona save them for a rainy day. Think menu for today will be

1.5oz choc bran flakes
2oz boiled ham, 7oz jacket and salad
3oz lamb, 5oz pots, carrots, brocoli, cauli, sprouts
1 greek yogourt
tinned strawberries
300 extras (tba)

Hoping to hit the halfstone next week if all goes well.

Tracey