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Thread: Before, during and (eventually) after...Paul's open and honest account.

  1. #211
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    That's a really good idea, write down why you want to binge before you do it.
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    See 11 stone flat on those scales!

    Fit into my Rocca wear jeans.
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  2. #212
    IT WILL BE THERE TOMORROW

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    Quote Originally Posted by porkypaul View Post
    16th Jan

    There are a few programmes on the TV at the moment about weigh losses etc..Embarrassing (fat) bodies on Monday night, then that programme filmed in the Sunderland hospital's fat clinic been on tonight. Not sure if I'm weird by believing it's good (for me) to watch these. It's a huge reminder of how I could easily get if I'm not careful...I do sit there and wonder how in the hell do people let themselves get so overweight. Ok, so I started at 22 stone but I'm quite tall with a big torso and you'd never guess I weighed that much (cliche' being 'I carry it well') but I just couldn't imagine actually being another 10 or 15 or even 20 stone heavier. But then again, I can get very..um, what's the word?..Very, 'Judgemental' I suppose.

    The 29 yr old that was on last week, who weighed 45 odd stone..He's telling the cameras and us, the viewers, how good he's been and that he's managed to lose three stone in twelve weeks!? Eh?! On one hand he should be applauded but surely if he was really serious about wanting to lose it (as he claimed) he can't be being that strict to lose just 3lb a week for 12 weeks, especially as he's 30 stone overweight. Or the woman who was on last night who had a number of medical complications because of her weight..She was complaining and saying how upset she was by it all and how she wanted so much to be better (she wasn't that old)- she goes away and comes back six months later having lost a stone! Again, eh? Then again, perhaps I watch these programmes with my 'all or nothing' head on eh? Perhaps I'm too judgemental sometimes, well when it comes to these programmes, or more so some of the people on them.

    Hi Paul

    I'm new to this site and have been reading your diary from last year. Really inspirational and insightful. I did however flinch a little at your comments above about other peoples motivation to loose and think you may be being a little judgmental. I've been watching those programs and also looked on with astonishment about how overweight those people have become. I am very much like you, when I focus on something, its hard to get me off track however I need to firstly get into that zone and getting into the zone is often the problem, you have to stop making up excuses for not doing things and just do it, its psychological for me. Remember we may not be as large as these people but we have been just as negligent in that we have allowed ourselves to also over indulge or not kept ourselves active. I always say "there for the grace of god" because who knows where we would be if our circumstances were different ie redundancy, loss of a loved one etc. Sorry a little morbid but I look at things holicitically.

    I am currently around 5 stone heavier than I have been all my life. I know exactly how I got here and can still hear all the excuses I made for not doing something about it before getting to this size. I read somewhere back in your diary how you also struggled with your relationship with food and how difficult this was also. So we should not forget how difficult it has been for us to work out why we have become overweight and the struggles trying to loose it.

    Sorry to be on my soap box but you seem to be a reflective guy and I hope you will not take offense. Anyway keep up the good work and continue to motivate us all.
    Started Lipotrim 14.1.13 15 st (210llbs)


    Week 1 14.1.13 14 st 5lb (201llbs) 9lb
    week 2 21.1.13 14 st 0lb (196llbs) - 5lb
    week 3 28.1.13 Monday weigh in delayed as away
    Week 3/4 7.2.13 13 st 9lb (192llbs) - 5llbs ah well, could have been worse
    week 4 11.2.13 13 st 6lb (188llbs) - 3llbs thats 8 llbs over two weeks OK I guess
    Week 5 18.2.13 13 st 4llb (186 llbs) - 2lbs Not happy and ATE
    Started Champix 12.1.13 Stopped smoking 21.1.13 29 days smoke free
    GET SLIM & SMOKE FREE FOR 2-0-1-3

    Goals

    Get to 12 st by March 2013
    Get out of OBESE Category ie 165 llbs (11st 11 llbs)
    Get to 10 1/2 st before hols in Apr/May 2013









  3. #213
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jude1512 View Post
    Hi Paul

    I'm new to this site and have been reading your diary from last year. Really inspirational and insightful. I did however flinch a little at your comments above about other peoples motivation to loose and think you may be being a little judgmental.

    I am currently around 5 stone heavier than I have been all my life. I know exactly how I got here and can still hear all the excuses I made for not doing something about it before getting to this size. I read somewhere back in your diary how you also struggled with your relationship with food and how difficult this was also. So we should not forget how difficult it has been for us to work out why we have become overweight and the struggles trying to loose it.

    @ Jude..I take your point totally...I did say in that entry of mine that I can be, by my own admittance, judgemental. It just annoys me a little when people are being given the professional opportunity to help them and, more so, when they say they are going to do this for their children's sake. He says he will lose the weight so he can be around for them (his children) and teach them good habits, and doesn't want to put them in the same situation as he was, losing his father at a young age because of obesity...but then turn around and make a half-hearted effort...what example does that set? But I'm not here to argue (not that there's anything to argue about) just wanted to make myself clear

    God knows I know how hard all this is...Look at me this week, I'm in that 'danger' zone I've written about before and I'm having a shocking week! I know I'm there, I know I'm at risk of stopping, I know this is the time where I've got to be super tough but nope, true to form I stray completely off the straight and narrow....Why have I done this? If my weight loss last week had been 3 or more pounds I doubt I would have. Rightly or wrongly, I saw 1lb loss as a failure and therein began the [mini] spiral. It could be argued that I used it as an excuse to fall off the wagon, if it was then it wasn't a conscious excuse. However, not all doom and gloom because today has been a much better day...

    Hi Fi bar for Brekki
    Pasta salad for lunch
    Stew and potatoes for dinner (I cooked it all day in slow cooker)

    Syns have been a pack of quavers and some corn flour to thicken aforementioned stew. I've also drunk a fair bit of water.

    It's so weird feeling like I do, that I could just go and raid the cupboards/fridge at any time. I'm just having to keep telling myself not to. It's horrible feeling this way, especially compared to how I was this time last week. I'm actually full up from dinner yet I still want to go and eat rubbish!

    I have made it through to final interview for one of the jobs I've applied for - that takes place tomorrow at 2 pm..It's nice that I'v lost 30lbs though as I tried my nicest suit on this morning at it now fits me properly!

    Going to thank you all again for your continued support, I can't thank you enough to be honest.
    Mandlegrot likes this.

    Link to >
    An open and honest diary account of my journey

    Dec 2012.... - 25 pounds
    Jan 2013..... - 6 pounds
    Feb 2013... - 5.5 pounds

  4. #214
    IT WILL BE THERE TOMORROW

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    Quote Originally Posted by porkypaul View Post

    It just annoys me a little when people are being given the professional opportunity to help them and, more so, when they say they are going to do this for their children's sake. He says he will lose the weight so he can be around for them (his children) and teach them good habits, and doesn't want to put them in the same situation as he was, losing his father at a young age because of obesity...but then turn around and make a half-hearted effort...what example does that set?
    Hi Paul, you're absolutely right, I know what you mean. I know that if I had that opportunity I would make sure I gave my all because you dont get certain opportunities all the time and how great would that be. Unfortunately there are many out there who let opportunities slip through their hands all the time for what ever reason. Way of the world I guess.

    Anyway sorry to hear you are feeling deflated but 1lb is 1lb less which is better that an increase so you didnt go completely off track. It is really hard to stay focused especially when you know you are trying hard to eat the right things and it dosnt show up as a weight loss, but like you said you tried on your nicest suit and it fit perfectly, thats a great achievement. I cant wait to get my favorite size 14 work suit back on, that would be phenomenal.

    Anyway, dont be too disheartened and good luck with your interview tomorrow.
    Started Lipotrim 14.1.13 15 st (210llbs)


    Week 1 14.1.13 14 st 5lb (201llbs) 9lb
    week 2 21.1.13 14 st 0lb (196llbs) - 5lb
    week 3 28.1.13 Monday weigh in delayed as away
    Week 3/4 7.2.13 13 st 9lb (192llbs) - 5llbs ah well, could have been worse
    week 4 11.2.13 13 st 6lb (188llbs) - 3llbs thats 8 llbs over two weeks OK I guess
    Week 5 18.2.13 13 st 4llb (186 llbs) - 2lbs Not happy and ATE
    Started Champix 12.1.13 Stopped smoking 21.1.13 29 days smoke free
    GET SLIM & SMOKE FREE FOR 2-0-1-3

    Goals

    Get to 12 st by March 2013
    Get out of OBESE Category ie 165 llbs (11st 11 llbs)
    Get to 10 1/2 st before hols in Apr/May 2013









  5. #215
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    ......."Originally Posted by porkypaul
    It just annoys me a little when people are being given the professional opportunity to help them and, more so, when they say they are going to do this for their children's sake. He says he will lose the weight so he can be around for them (his children) and teach them good habits, and doesn't want to put them in the same situation as he was, losing his father at a young age because of obesity...but then turn around and make a half-hearted effort...what example does that set?".....


    I don't think any of those people chose to eat like that, the same has alcoholics and drug addicts its not a conscious choice it's usually done with the awareness of the dangers but these type of people have addictive traits and obviously don't know when enough is enough whether its food, alcohol or drugs.

    Aren't we all addicts of something?

    Sometime reality needs to come and smack us on the upside of the mouth good and proper a few times before it sinks in what damage we are doing to ourselves and that we have to change. I'm 7 and a half stones overweight I've lost count the amount of times I've said I'm going to do this for my children or I don't want my children following my example and being influenced by what I do. But when that urge comes, that craving that will not go away the type that occupies your every thought no matter how many times you go through the reasons of why you are not going to cave in, sometimes, just sometimes you give in and I suppose we all do. No many people quit smoking and stay quit at first attempt...it is the same thing for the very obese.

    I think no matter what everyone needs to be kinder to themselves and remember as long as you keep trying you will eventually succeed, maybe not today or tomorrow but you will succeed but only as long as you keep trying. That's what we are doing every day and that's what those obese people are doing on the TV too, and we are in no way qualified to judge x

  6. #216
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    How was today's wi? Haven't seen a post from you in a couple of days so hope all is ok and how did the job interview go?

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    Been away Derby, was all a bit last minute lol

    Only just got in, too late for WI - not the worst thing lol as had a nice relaxed weekend.

    ** Note to self...Stop posting my thoughts/opinions - how dare I have an opinion eh?

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    Dec 2012.... - 25 pounds
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  8. #218
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    Everyone is entitled to an opinion, its one of our divine rights as a human being

    I think that sometimes people can get defensive because they dont want to face up to reality. There are emotional reasons why people binge eat - sometimes its too painful for them to face the emotional side of are overeating so they blame "addiction".

    Keep posting Paul, as I throughly enjoy your diary.

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    ....
    Last edited by Lisa-Lisa : 29th January, 2013 at 02:11 AM

  10. #220
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    Quote Originally Posted by porkypaul View Post
    Been away Derby, was all a bit last minute lol

    Only just got in, too late for WI - not the worst thing lol as had a nice relaxed weekend.

    ** Note to self...Stop posting my thoughts/opinions - how dare I have an opinion eh?
    Hi Paul

    I also noticed that you have not been posting. I look forward to reading your honest and open account of your journey as it always spurs me on and gets me thinking. Sorry if my post offended you in anyway but it was not intentional. As Laura stated everyone is entitled to their opinion and we dont all have to agree. Discussion is good however because it gives us different perspectives and expereinces. Still dosnt mean we all have to agree.

    You keep doing what you like and it does not matter what me or anyone else thinks. If we dont like it we dont have to read it basically.
    porkypaul, Tylar and Lisa-Lisa like this.
    Started Lipotrim 14.1.13 15 st (210llbs)


    Week 1 14.1.13 14 st 5lb (201llbs) 9lb
    week 2 21.1.13 14 st 0lb (196llbs) - 5lb
    week 3 28.1.13 Monday weigh in delayed as away
    Week 3/4 7.2.13 13 st 9lb (192llbs) - 5llbs ah well, could have been worse
    week 4 11.2.13 13 st 6lb (188llbs) - 3llbs thats 8 llbs over two weeks OK I guess
    Week 5 18.2.13 13 st 4llb (186 llbs) - 2lbs Not happy and ATE
    Started Champix 12.1.13 Stopped smoking 21.1.13 29 days smoke free
    GET SLIM & SMOKE FREE FOR 2-0-1-3

    Goals

    Get to 12 st by March 2013
    Get out of OBESE Category ie 165 llbs (11st 11 llbs)
    Get to 10 1/2 st before hols in Apr/May 2013









  11. #221
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    How did the interview go. Hope you have a cracking week! Don't let the fact that you didn't weigh in be used as an excuse to go off the rails.
    porkypaul likes this.





    See 11 stone flat on those scales!

    Fit into my Rocca wear jeans.
    Follow my brand new spanking weight loss diary: http://www.minimins.com/slimming-world-weight-loss-diary/341515-healthier-me.html




  12. #222
    back to lose some more
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    Just catching up - a 1lb is O.K. I found on Sw I only lost a 1lb a week too.

  13. #223
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    30th J

    Wow...what a three days it has been - a tonne (and more) reflective thoughts and it's been so very good for me. A lot of realisations have come to the forefront and I believe I've learnt a lot about me. < I'll come back to this

    As for the eating...well after the (long) weekend which incorporated three days if I'm honest, I've been so back on plan that I couldn't be more proud of myself. A little bit of a battle Monday but it was ok and now I'm back in the groove.

    People are right you know...a pound a week (if that's all it's to be) is absolutely fine, it really is. For sure I want it to be more and there's a big part of me that thinks it should be but I now accept that it's all good. I don't even need to lose as much as a pound a week til this time next year, sometime around November will do just fine. Even with all the reflecting I've been doing, I still don't quite know why I pigged out so heavily after losing a pound - any ideas??

    As for the reflecting, I've finally, finally realised I need to find the confidence to be the person I really am - simply to be me. I need to stop trying to be the person I think people want/need me to be. All I've managed to do by being that way is to lose sight of myself and of my true identity. I need to not care if someone doesn't like me for who I am as not everyone's going to, no matter what I'm like. I've always tried so hard to achieve being liked by everyone that I must come across as being someone no one understands. Still, it matters not because it's never too late to change something in your life or something about you. I do worry a little that those who profess to 'know me' are going to wonder what act I'm putting on (when being myself because they wont have seen this about me) but I'll just be honest and say..'Well, this IS me. You just haven't seen me before now.'

    I guess this journey is more than just being about losing weight. If you incorporate the stopping smoking, the 'being the real me' bit and one or two other things, then it's become quite a big package. One has to understand that losing weight means you're likely to 'be a different person' anyway, what with the re-newed confidence and all. It's just as important to change your mind set alongside changing your body.

    In respect of the little bit of 'tardiness' in this thread - then I'm sorry if anyone's offended but I'm not going to change my opinion. This, after all, is 'my' thread and no one is under any obligation to read it. If you disagree with my opinions then so be it, you've as much right to your opinion as to me having mine. However, I will say that I'm not going to get into any arguments about it, nor am I going to defend my opinions and if you're that offended then may I suggest you unsubscribe from here. That's not to say I don't have a problem with a 'healthy discussion' and I fully accept I might be wrong (morally or otherwise) with some of those opinions/beliefs of mine.

    Already looking forward to Monday...I'm hoping, at worst, that I've STS over the two weeks- more than happy with that
    Tylar likes this.

    Link to >
    An open and honest diary account of my journey

    Dec 2012.... - 25 pounds
    Jan 2013..... - 6 pounds
    Feb 2013... - 5.5 pounds

  14. #224
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    % Lost 11.89%
    Oh and PS...

    I didn't get the job but I'm absolutely fine with that

    Link to >
    An open and honest diary account of my journey

    Dec 2012.... - 25 pounds
    Jan 2013..... - 6 pounds
    Feb 2013... - 5.5 pounds

  15. #225
    is a unicorn

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    Nice to see you back Paul.....x
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