Thread: Westiegirl: Restarted Day 1 Under my Belt!

HI sarah,,

great news about all the dates you have , that will help you "get your ducks in a row"!!! we all feel better when we can do that.

would love to take credit for wise words, EVENT + RESPONSE = OUTCOME, but that will have to go to my LLC who throws it at me on a regular basis, it has really helped me and i have spouted it too my kids as well, my DH isnt quite ready for such logical thinking yet but i have high hopes that one day he may stop "hunting wooly mamouth" long enough to embrace a bit of "holistic " thinking!!!

you do sound so much ,more positve and thats great, what a great future you have infront of you, go and knock em dead!!!

Interesting evening, with some "adult" choices - I think, although I'm not always sure it's my adult that makes the choices, just my child pretending to be grown up!

I have realised that it is PMT time starting and I have been having cravings since coming home from my long walk. I had my packs and a cup of tea (with milk). All well and good, had another pack, still fine. Then I had a penguin biscuit - just the one mind you - with a coffee. That's better than I have been recently, but the demons still kept calling my name. The chatterbox was getting louder and louder, so what did I do? I asked my mum if I could share a meal with them. They were having fish, chips and peas. I don't like fish so I adapted the meal and had turkey breast, salad and (literally) half a dozen chips. Ok, I had a bit of coleslaw with it and followed it by a choc ice but even so....

I am quite proud that I was upfront with my mum and dad, made a healthy meal choice and sat down at a table instead of chucking 6 chocolate bars down my neck in secret without tasting them! I even refused the small glass of wine that was offered to me. That just exacerbates my cravings - something I don't need!

I am still very hungry and I am wondering if it is a physical thing rather than just mental. I am on day 2 of abstinence and have had a very active couple of weeks, culminating with at leasr a good 5 mile trek today. When you are used to sitting for 9 hours behind a desk that is a big change. I'm not trying to make excuses for myself because I feel quite proud of the way I have dealt with the feelings but it is something that I am not used too. Could be why I am finding it harder to remain abstinent this time (asides the life changing circumstances of course!).

Food for thought, excuse the pun!

Hi Sarah,

It does sound very in control alright and I feel it is progress and we need to claim every inch of it as we go along.

Heidi does come out with some good stuff and I love reading what the LLers write about on some of the other threads, we can all learn so much from each other...

Sending hugs and love.

Here's to another day of making good choices for yourself.

Love Mini xxx

Hi Sarah

I would really urge you not to eat in secret anymore.

What is the worst that can happen if you are upfront with your parents?

You could get yourself some great support there, you won't have the addtional guilt of hiding from them and best of all you will will be facing up to one of your biggest demons.

Maybe you should try trusting them with your secret?

HI sarah,

i think you have had a major break through and that decision to eat with your parents sounds like one made in your "adult"!

I do wonder though why you dont give yourself the option to do this every day for now and maybe have 2 packs a day ( if you are still off piste a little!!) and an evening meal, then add the third pack if you have kept to your plan for that day. i do think that one day or even half a day at a time will also be an easier time frame to cope with!! If you think to yourself ," If i choose to i can have an evening meal this eve" then it may not seem like " forever" as it can feel ,i know ,when food nags at you and you want to shut it up!!


Am bit confused as to whether you are "in abstinance" or if you are aiming to get into abstinance ?

if you are already in, disreguard above advice, if not then maybe give it a go, but no "beating up" allowed, be kind to you!!!

have a good day,

Haven't been on for a couple of days. Really hit rock bottom a couple of days ago and I don't think I can fully write it down. I don't think I even understand it as nothing specific happened - all in my head.

I will say lots of food was involved and I had a reccurance of low mood like that I had before I was prescribed anti-depressants by the doctor. Silly moo that I am haven't been taking them "regularly" since my move - I lost them somewhere in my "teenage" bedroom. Not a good idea I know, especially combined with PMT!

Did manage to chat to my LLC on Thursday and that was good, but I was in a bit of a state and on the verge of giving up the programme. Some positive strokes from her (which I accepted graciously) and I have started to drag myself up.

Yesterday was a busy day in terms of packing and I am ready to rock n roll. Still quite a lot to sort for my mum and dad to be ready but we've still a good few days yet. Wasn't ready to commit to SSing yesterday but I did eat (mostly) sensibly (a minor blip here and there). Felt OK with it and I am trying not to beat myself up.

Last night I sat down and did some thinking. I thought back to where I was when I started LL in January and what I did that made me so successful. Basically I treated this journey as a "project" and planned every step of the way. I split my packs up into days and bound each one together with an elastic band. That meant I had a days "food" together and I knew where I stood. I also took time to get a minimum of 4 litres of water made up (ie filtered and bottled with flavouring added) on the side and that was what I had to drink that day. I also had a wall planner with my days and a countdown marked so each day I could see my progress and as time went on I could see how far I'd come. Last night I did all this and printed off a calendar for September/October and marked significant dates on it. I also marked when I would be in ketosis and how long until the wedding. Can't stick it on the wall because they'd all been decorated for the house sale but it's on my bedside cabinet where I can see it easily.

I also researched a hormone called ghrelin. My LLC told me about this hormone which has recently been found to be a major trigger in appetite. This is especially so after losing weight and is possibly a reason why so many people regain their weight. Once you start to eat "normally" again your ghrelin levels are increased in a bid for your body to regain the weight as it thinks you have been starved. It can take about 12 months for levels to return to normal, which is why it is quite important to maintain your lower weight for 12 months once reaching target. Ghrelin production is also surpressed after about 7 days on a VLCD so that makes things easier. My LLC used to visualise the ghrelin hormone as the askit powder advert monster, but I've gone for ghremlins (see what I did there!). I don't know the accuracy of the research and I think a lot more needs to be done but the thought of defeating my ghremlins and also taking some of the responsibility away from myself is helping me enormously. I told my LLC I was a total failure but she told me that I wasn't and that I am just struggling against a hormone which I can't control the production of. So I've printed out pictures of gremlins and have stuck them on my calendar and put them in my purse!

Today I have been abstinent all day. I have only had 3 packs so far - going for the 4th shortly but I feel good. I feel like I have something concrete to work with. Of course I have easily managed 3 days of SSing in the last few weeks but no more, so we'll see on Tuesday how I'm doing, but the thought of surpressing my ghrelin by the weekend is a good motivator.

Funny what works isn't it?

Well folks, tomorrow being Sunday I hope to catch up with all you lovely people but now it is time for my last pack. Need to let the dog out and remove my makeup (had a wedding makeup trial today and it's more makeup than I'd usually wear) before going to bed to watch Match of the Day. What a sad bugger I am! So excited as my brother has organised Sky Plus for my new flat. I have no heating, bathroom or kitchen but I have sky and sky sports! (Methinks I might need to re-evaluate my priorities!)

Sarah thank you so much for posting that. I have never heard of Ghrelin so I have some research to do.

Anything I can learn in preparation for when I start maintainance in 3-4 weeks time is a huge bonus for me so thank you

I'm glad you have found your way again and have taken time to examine what made you sucessfull previously so you can adapt it or your thinking to now

As always I wish you all the best for your continued success

I just had a quick look on the internet to find out about ghrelin and found this interesting article which is worth a read


Still Hungry?: Science News Online, April 2, 2005

Sarah
You have so much going on at the moment and you need to take it one step at a time. Once you've moved back to Wales you should be in the right frame of mind for LL again. until then try not to worry. And remember how far you've come
Irene xx

Originally Posted by chicken on a mission

I just had a quick look on the internet to find out about ghrelin and found this interesting article which is worth a read


Still Hungry?: Science News Online, April 2, 2005

Very interesting!! Thanks for posting that, and Sarah for mentioning it in the first place. I've never heard of this before.

Today I have been abstinent all day. I have only had 3 packs so far - going for the 4th shortly but I feel good. I feel like I have something concrete to work with.

Sounds like you are getting that initial enthusiasm back Good luck for these few days. You know it'll pass....so just hang on in there

Originally Posted by chicken on a mission

I just had a quick look on the internet to find out about ghrelin and found this interesting article which is worth a read


Still Hungry?: Science News Online, April 2, 2005

Hi Chicken

That is the main article I read. It's very interesting isn't it! I guess I'm happy to not lay the blame at my own door! Good luck for when you start management.

Irene

Thank you for your words of encouragement. What you say is true, I just need to be kinder to myself at this difficult time. When things have settled down it will be all systems go! Hope you are doing well too!

Glad you found the information useful Karion, I am hanging on in there at the moment (as this second it's by the skin of my teeth) but I'll get there!

So far so good today, but hey I've been there before haven't I!

Put my wallchart up and I can see it from my bed. That's what I had in my old flat so hopefully it will provide the same motivation. But in my old flat I didn't have a fridge full of food downstairs!

I have had a busy couple of days and things are really starting to take shape. Yesterday I booked my train tickets. I move Thursday and come back to Edinburgh on the 29th. Have arranged to meet my LLC that night as well. I return back to Wales on 17th October. I have also booked the train to Essex for the 18th and a hotel for that night in preparation for my interview on the 19th, so I shouldn't be too tired on the day. I come back to Wales straight after the interview on the 19th so come the 20th October I should be back to normal (what's normal?) and I can then concentrate on sorting my flat out! Phew!

The other good thing from yesterday is that the other bridesmaid and myself have pretty much decided on our hen night itinery - bingo in the afternoon, cocktails and a meal in the evening, followed by drinking and dancing. I am still meant to be abstinent then but I think one night won't kill me!

I think so much progess on my plans has meant that there is less on my mind and I am more able to stick to SS and not binge. No binging since Thursday! What a change from the last couple of weeks (OK, the last month) for me, when I was binging every couple of days. Doesn't mean I won't go there again soon, but I'm trying my damndest! Feel different so I hope that this is a longer lasting commitment!

Mind you, I have had milk in my tea today, but I think that's better than 6 chocolate bars (and the rest). Whatever gets me through the first week I suppose!

Hey Sarah,

Just caught up on your thread and my what a rollercoaster you are on girl!!!

That ghrelin thing is fascinating and would explain why i'm bingeing since finishing the diet even though i never did so before the diet!! Hmmmm knew there must have been some side effect to this diet as so many of us are bingeing since getting to goal. I haven't read the article yet so will do that as soon as i've finished this message!

Keep focussed honey, don't give up. You're not failing you're just learning how to stay gorgeously slim for the rest of your life - we expected it to be easy - but how can it be when our whole body/hormones/emtions are fighting against us! It's gonna take a strong mind but i think we can do it!

Luv,