Thread: Westiegirl: Restarted Day 1 Under my Belt!

Hey darlin - lovely to hear you sound so upbeat!!!!!

Re the pots and lids thing - you know what I am going to say!!! Me - the bitter and cynical old hag who had decided never to bovver with blurkes again - now desperately in lurve with a real sweetie. Miracles do happen!!!!!

August is going to be a fantastic month for you, hun! Blimey - you won't know which way up you are but it's all GOOD!!!

I am so jealous of your weight today - jammy moo! lol But you've worked really hard for it, babes so I'm very very pleased for you. Just got to catch up with you now cos I've been so naughty the last few weeks!
love

Isobel

You'll soon catch up! I know when you put your mind to something! You've been on holibags so allowances should be made! No point beating yourself up (as someone told after my binge on Saturday!). If you had a good time then that's that. We know what to do these days don't we! I don't know about you but I'm not giving up on this slim thing! Too much positive things have come out of it (sad fact of life that slim = others treat you better!).

You're gorgeous anyway but only you know what's right for you!

Bless ya, doll - am slowly putting the cream cake down...hehehehehe!
Yeah - you're right - there is no way I'm ever going back to the old Isobel. Or even let my BMI go over 25!!!! I've just got too much to lose if I relinquish control!

love

Hi Sarah, sorry I've not been posting much over the last few days.. busy with work and stuff I've just been reading your thread and I'm so impressed with how you're doing..you're really a great inspiration to me . I'm still floundering around trying to get my weight off and feeling bloated and cr*p as it is my TOTM also. I put 1.5lbs on on the scales today but I know its only fluid retention.. so I'll forget that and try to get through the day without eating everything in sight!!!!!! I usually manage to stay in control and scoff a couple of sugar free jelly pots if neccessary!!! at 8 cals each I suppose I can get away with them
You sound like you've got a full on month ahead, I hope you enjoy it, you certainly deserve to I look forward very much to the Toon at the end of the month and catching up with you properly
Much love as always xxxxxxx

Coped today - just about! Although I've been so busy since then I can hardly remember this morning, let alone 2 days ago. So this will be a potted version of the day!

Management has settled into a nice routine this week. I'm really enjoying my food but the limited choice of salad is getting quite repetitive. I could happily eat chicken or quorn at every meal though, in fact before I started LL that's pretty much what I did eat. I don't like red meat anyway so that's a bonus.

The evening was difficult for me - mentally. Felt very p***** off because the cafe sale is STILL not completed! FFS! My Mum and Dad called and told me and my mood just plummeted. They were expecting it all to be sorted today and have not ordered anything from the suppliers. As they have nothing to sell they have decided not to open anymore. They are very tired so I don't blame them.

So sitting watching TV my mind wandered to food and I just didn't feel satisfied with a cuppa so I embarked on a binge - luckily just a sugar free jelly binge. Consumed 6 pots in quick succession and felt quite disappointed in myself. Felt I should have learnt something during foundation but I guess the learning starts now! I guess a 48 calorie binge ain't the end of the world!

Recognised I was tired though and went to bed and watched BB. Going for a better day on Thursday I hope!

Thursday's are always manic I don't have time to think. That's good in lots of ways - no obsessive food thoughts in my head!

Spent my half hour lunch break in M & S getting a few bits for the new management week which starts tomorrow. Don't usually shop there but won't have time to shop this evening so hey, I'm treating myself!

After work I had my doctor's appointment. She thinks my dizziness and tiredness are due to my body adjusting to the new me, but wants me to have a blood test just to check my blood count to be on the safe side. So I have a blood test booked for Wednesday morning. Help! I'm petrified of needles! When I went on holiday to Africa a few years ago my ex had to book the appointment for our vaccinations in secret and tricked me into going! Oh well, I guess I'm best to just get it done. Want to be sure that everything is OK! Will report back on that next week!

Went home and still no rest for the wicked - had my tea and then had to go to my LL meeting. I really enjoyed it last night. I lost 2.2lb, which is good as I put on 1.6lbs last week. I'm now 10stone 4.4lbs at my meeting, so I'm pleased with that. If I can stay about there I will be happy!

We chatted about lapses last night - seems we had all had one in the previous week. We are all at different stages in the management programme but we all still have the same issues. Although the degree of lapsing was varying (including 1 lapse only being a small square of dark chocolate) but mentally we all felt we had eaten a horse. Our LLC asked us to think back to a binge pre LL, what would it have consisted of? Would we have stopped when we did? Would it have led to a total diet collapse? We all agreed that the lapses we had had been minor in the scheme of things and we have learnt something after all. We all managed to analyse our reasons for our lapses and none of them were to do with hunger (of course not!). So we discussed some coping strategies and I came home feeling renewed.

Phew! What a good day! Glad to get home and just chill though. Had a vanilla coffee foodpack and a muffin and felt surprisingly content! New management week starts tomorrow.

Friday's are always an excitement - new week new food choices!

Minus side, down to 2 foodpacks but still only 1 meal, plus side lots of new vegetables to add and I can also cook them this week!

Everyone at the meeting last night told me that will make a big difference to my meal choices.

Had half a frozen lemon bar for morning break with a coffee. Lunch was the best though - used my veg snack. Had, get this, cherry tomatoes, carrot batons and pepper sticks! Absolutely-f******-lovely! Followed by a lovely raspberry jelly. Am nicely full but not stuffed. My evening meal is planned - Chicken Provencal with COOKED carrots and broccoli on the side. All that and BB eviction night! I am such a sad person aren't I - when this is what the highlight of my week consists of!

Will update later on my progress!

Keep it up Sarah. You are doing so well and I love reading about your experiences

Sounds like you're having a good day honey, well done on the loss at class the other night, you're going great I'm still faffing but I will get there.. I'm hoping to be around the 11 stone mark for the VFBC so I'd better just get my skates on and get stuck in

Enjoy your chicken dish and Big Bro' 2nite

Much Love

XXXXXXX

Hi Chicken, thanks for your message of support. I enjoyed reading your thread on your clothes shopping experience. I know you'll get there!

Hi Mandy, thanks hun! You'll get there! You've just had so much on your plate recently that it makes it hard to concentrate sometimes but look at the difference from where you are now to where you were before you embarked on the bonkers diet! Keep strong - and you look gorgeous now anyway!

FFS it's crack of dawn and what the heck am I doing up this time on a Saturday morning updating my diary???? I should be asleep in bed still! I actually have a very busy day planned (all pleasurable/pampering stuff ) but I'll not go into that now, wouldn't want to "sneak preview" my Saturday entry would I? (Don't get too excited - it's not that big a deal - just "mundane" stuff that I enjoy).

Anyway, Friday!

Had a busy afternoon at work so I was glad to get home. I sat down with a cup of coffee and a jelly pot and read the paper. Now for me that is progress, being such a freak for instant gratification. Usually I want my tea, and I want it now! If I don't then I'll throw my toys out of the pram!!! But even with a nice meal in prospect I was just nicely chilled.

Made my tea about 7pm and it was nice to actually cook something! As I mentioned earlier I had chicken provencal with carrots and broccoli. Yey! I'm almost a normal person again!!!! It tasted so good and the best bit was that I got to sit down with my flatmate and enjoy a meal together. It's something we obviously haven't been able to do for 6 months and it will also be not long that we won't be able to do it either. I just want to enjoy these simple pleasures whilst I can!

BB was great although I really did think Mikey would make it to the end. Just shows how the public can turn on you if you have one bad week! Glad old snoozy is out. Is that woman a robot or what? Not sure about the old housemates going back. It's a bit old hat. Jon Tickle and all that! I guess we'll see what happens Tuesday!

I had my final pack of the day whilst watching the first BB show and once it was gone I began to get feelings of being deprived. Silly I know but once my last pack of the day has gone I mourn it! Have done it all through Foundation and whilst the first stage of management is so regimented I think the same will continue. The funny thing is that I was never an evening snacker before I started this diet. My danger time was always the time when I came home from work, when | would binge like crazy in replacement of a decent meal. I think the prospect of going without does really mess with your brain! My head thinks no food = starvation, when I'm certainly not undernourished - by a long shot!

My only choices left for the evening were hot drinks and jelly (and I had jellied myself out!) so I decided to distract myself instead. Using the time between the 2 BB shows I washed the evening meal pots and had a think about what was happening. I basically gave myself a good talking too (but in a nuturing manner I might add!). I have been trying to analyse the times when I MUST have food. So early in management I am still in ketosis and I do get some hunger pangs but generally hunger has not kicked in yet so I know I am not hungry. My mantra has recently become "so what do I really need?". Most of the time it has been stimulation (I get bored easily) or sleep (still feeling really tired a lot of the time). Last night I was obviously tired after a busy week and I knew I didn't need food and that I wasn't going to die by not eating something! So I made myself a nice cup of decaf coffee, sat down, watched the final part of BB and then went to bed. You know what? It felt great! I was in control and I felt proud of myself by delaying gratification and knowing I made positive choices to maintain this new body that I am enjoying so much.

WOAH - honey - I'm not worthy! lol - You have really got your head round this management business, hey? Very, very well done on avoiding a pig-out last night - though it sounds as if you were nowhere near caving in! You ROCK!

Hey Sarah!!

Sorry Ive been a bit quiet recently - work has been mad! Only just got broadband back at home last night so I've been on all morning!!

You are doing so well - you must be so proud. I love reading your threads, I find them so inspirational. I'm still on week one of management, but finding it okay. Have to say though, I completely agree with you when you say you 'mourn' your last pack! I find myself mourning every pack once its gone! Sad isn't it!

You seem to be learning something new about yourself every week that you are on management. I suppose as new things are introduced so comes more and more temptation.

Good luck with this week - what are the new foods you're allowed now?

Love Sarah x

After my early morning posting on Saturday I haven't had a another chance to post, so I'm back at work today using my lunchtime to try and catch up!

Saturday was a lovely day. Started by being pampered - my mum and I had a hair appointment at 10.30 am - hair coloured and cut. When I move I will have to find another hairdresser - what a trauma! I love the way the hairdresser does my hair!!!

We then hit the shops and looked for a dress for my mum. Found a lovely one and a nice skirt and top for her too. We also found some lovely accessories and I bought 2 handbags and 4 pairs of shoes in the sales. Indulgent but fun! Just the first of many shopping trips with my mum!

Didn't eat much during the day - bought some carrot batons out of M&S and sat outside in the sunshine. Looked at the Thousand Island dip that came with them and was very tempted, but I decided no - gave the pot to my mum to take home and stuck to the carrot sticks!

Came home and sat in the back garden with a caffetiere of coffee and a frozen lemon bar. Nice way to spend a late afternoon!

Got some really good news - the cafe sale is finalised!!!! At f****** last! The confirmation letter from the solicitor arrived at my mum and dad's today and my dad went to meet the buyers at the cafe at lunchtime and handed over the keys. What a relief!

We decided to go out to celebrate! Went out for a meal at an Italian restaurant (it was also to celebrate their wedding anniversary). Had a really nice meal. I had a starter of melon and parma ham. Fruit isn't on my allowed list until next week, but hey, I don't think a couple of slices of fruit with kill me! Main course was on track - chicken cacciatore with no potatoes and plain salad (dressed in balsamic vinegar). It was gorgeous and the social aspect was fantastic - felt like a normal human being! I did go "off piste" by having 2 white wine spritzers, but it was a celebration after 16 weeks of faffing around and stress so I felt like I deserved it! Did make me a bit tipsy mind - and that was a nice feeling! The only bad side was that alcohol is definately going to be a trigger for me. Once I had it I felt a bit out of control and worried myself stupid that a binge would occur. When I came home I just couldn't help myself - I went mad and wait for it - had 2 Elizabeth Shaw chocolates and a piece of biscotti! Oh-my-god!!! Call the diet police! 6 stone is going to reappear on my thighs by morning!

Realised what a fool I was being and chilled a little - had a coffee, a bottle of juice, watched BB and went to bed. Phew think I just might be alright! 2 chocolates is nothing compared to the poke of chips, 6 rounds of toast and butter, a cake, a cheese and onion slice and a chocolate bar I would have eaten in the same situation last year!

Very positive Sarah so a big well done to you

Up quite early today (8 am) which is not bad considering I had a quite late night. After getting home from night out quite early on Saturday I ended up staying up to look after my flatmate who came home from a drinking session very drunk! She was quite upset because I'm leaving and had a bit of a cry and almost suffocated the dog by hugging him! She did need to use the sick stool and spent 40 minutes with her head over the toilet. I had to force her to go to bed and made sure she had a bucket, a glass of water and some alka seltzer!

Needless to say I was glad not to be in her head this morning!

Whilst she stayed in bed and nursed her hangover I decided to clean out the kitchen. Man I went for it hammer and tong! Cleaned all the hard to reach bits that just usually get a wipe and even scrubbed the oven and the microwave. Sorry if I sound minging for the kitchen needing such a good clean, but we do clean it - just not with such intensity!

FM was well impressed and by 2pm when I sat down for my lunch she was actually out of her bed! I think it was more out of necessity as her niece was visiting and due to arrive at any minute.

After her niece arrived we went to the shops for supplies. I did a good old quorn and vegetable healthy shop and they got comfort food to combat a hangover.

Felt quite good foodwise today. No obsessing. Had my salad snack on a plate as lunch. Very nice to sit and eat it with a knife and fork. Then after the shops I had a frozen lemon bar and a coffee. Evening meal was the leftover chicken provencal from Saturday and veg, followed by jelly. Sat in the garden on the new bistro table and chair set that FM had bought from Sainsbury at a bargain £30 reduced from £60. It was lovely out and I felt quite continental!

The Edinburgh Fringe Festival started this weekend and Sunday/Monday have 2-for-1 ticket deals, a good way to have a cheap night out, so the evening was spent at a place called the Pleasance. It's a venue where they show lots of comedy acts as part of the festival. It's one of my favourite places. There is a large courtyard with picnic benches where you can just chill out. There are lots of bars and places to buy food and the atmosphere is just relaxed. You can quite often star spot, lots of the performers hang out there too. So the 3 of us grabbed a drink (I'm so glad I can drink diet coke now) watched the world go by, then went to watch a comedy show. We just went into the box office and asked what was coming on soon. Saw a comedienne called Natalie Haynes. She was very good but a bit close to the knuckle sometimes - but that's what the Edinburgh Fringe Festival is all about!

All in all a nice relaxing day made better by the fact that I have Monday off work! Yippee!