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Thread: Laura's bit of everything diet!

  1. #226
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    Diet: Calorie Counting
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    madmuppet and Perpleo like this.

  2. #227
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    Ooo gossip? Your costume is fab!

  3. #228
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    Diet: Calorie Counting/ healthy eating
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    Quote Originally Posted by sapphirestara View Post
    Boyfriend complains?! Is he crazy!!!
    he would never complain lol he knows better, it may result in me taking away his gryphon lmao

  4. #229
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    Diet: Calorie Counting
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    Start Weight: 19st13lb
    Current Weight: 15st13.5lb
    Goal Weight: 11st7lb
    Goal Date: September 2015


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 43.7
    Current BMI: 35
    Goal BMI: 25.2


    Statistics:
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    yeah got a bit of gossip

    I had two really good nights actually feeling so happy atm which is just such a refreshing change. After struggling with my depression and finding the past 6 months very hard after the break up from my ex whom I wanted to marry I have found life very difficult. Its just one of those things in life, a culmination of events and you just feel smothered and unable to cope. This is a bit heavy and not what I initially intended to write but it feels right and its what Im thinking and feeling.

    We broke up in June and it was messy and for the next 6 months I kept sleeping with him, because we share the same friends it was impossible to avoid him and we fell into old habits. Apart from I got none of the good things, I was just used for sex and I allowed myself to be used. This meant that I didnt really move on or deal with the break up properly and he treated me like absolute crap, slept with me and other women and I allowed it because I had such a low opinion of myself. I thought, who else will have me?

    At NYE, like all the other drunken nights before we ended up together at my house. and when I woke up he was gone, like always. I then went on to fb and saw all of these photos with another girl a couple nights before and I just felt truly broken. I already have so much to contend with, why am I making life so hard for myself? I am miserable and lonely and I have no self respect or love. So I just decided. Thats the end. I have to fix myself. I can see myself falling to old worrying patterns, that have previously led me to two hospital stays. But I am better and stronger than then. I have to fix it before it gets that far.

    I wrote this huge list of things I wanted to change, I separated that in to two, things I have control over and things I dont. and I started therapy. I cant believe in four short weeks the change in myself. after 6 long miserable months. Its like this fog has lifted. I know its not over and there is lots of work to still be done. But I feel amazing. I stopped going out so I didnt have to see my ex and I just feel like all those strings are gone! I feel free. I am losing weight, Im sorting my head out and I am fixing a seriously poor start to my last year at uni. I am pulling it all back. I am also constantly preaching self love and positive thinking to myself and it is working! I never thought I would go for that, but really, how else can you change yourself and your behaviours? Just keep telling yourself and one day you wont have to because it will just come naturally!

    So last night was the first time since NYE that I caught up with most of my friends. I had a huge catch with a friend of mine who is also a Polycystic Ovary Syndrome sufferer. She is big like me and truly understands a lot of what I go through. We are the only big girls in our group. She just asked me 'Whats changed?' she said she could see a light in my eyes that she hadnt for so long. I felt really touched by that. I dont really talk to my friends about my depression or the things that make me sad, so for someone to notice so much with so little information, I really felt like she got me. I explained that I had lost 1 1/2 stone and I felt like something in my head just finally clicked and that I felt so happy.

    We both then joined in a group of people talking, some my friends and some new people I hadnt met. I was so confident and happy and I loved making everyone laugh, I felt like I was me again. My friend kept making eyes at me so when I got the chance I asked her what she obviously wanted to say She thought that one of these new guys we were talking to liked me. He had at one point said, you are so smiley, I love that! - very sweet! I laughed it off and pointed out he was talking to our beautiful size 8 friend and that I thought he wanted a piece of that, who wouldnt! However, later on we happened to be left alone in the kitchen and we were chatting away and he suddenly said to me 'Do you know what I find sexiest about a woman? Confidence, and you have it by the bucket load, its so attractive' and then he promptly kissed me.

    hahah shocked doesnt quite cover it. This guy is like miles out of my league. Hes a bleeding athlete!

    I cant stop smiling.

    I dont think anything will come of it. I think it was a spur of the moment bit of passion lol but I dont even need anything to come of it cos it made me feel bloody amazing!

    BLADY HELL!


    sorry for the essay guys. Seriously feeling the love today.

    I also want to thank all of you guys, I feel like this diary has seriously helped me, very cathartic. You kinda made me feel like I have friends when I felt alone in my life!


    In other news, does anyone watch new girl? cos the kiss was kinda like that - and watching that - it blew me away!!!


    xXXXXXXXXXXXX

  5. #230
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    Diet: Weightwatchers
    Height: 5ft5in
    Start Date: 7th Sept 2011
    Start Weight: 19st13lb
    Current Weight: 17st2lb
    Goal Weight: 11st0lb
    Goal Date: asap!


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 46.4
    Current BMI: 39.9
    Goal BMI: 25.6


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 2st11lb
    Weight to Lose: 6st2lb
    % Lost 13.98%
    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. #231
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    Diet: Weightwatchers
    Height: 5ft5in
    Start Date: 7th Sept 2011
    Start Weight: 19st13lb
    Current Weight: 17st2lb
    Goal Weight: 11st0lb
    Goal Date: asap!


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 46.4
    Current BMI: 39.9
    Goal BMI: 25.6


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 2st11lb
    Weight to Lose: 6st2lb
    % Lost 13.98%
    He is not out of your league babe, dont be crazy!!!!!!! I am so excited for you!!!!!!!!!! I hope you got his num!??!

    <3 big love babe! SO deserved!!!!!!!!!!!!


    And I love hearing that you are feeling better.......I think maybe I need to do this list idea. And consider some therapy too. I have spent the whole weekend thinking about Lee- good things, bad thing etc etc but mostly how **** the last 3 months have been and how fuxxing miserable I've been. I miss my family so much and I dont really have any friends. I am seriously struggling and I know he's done some serious lasting damage.

    It took everything I had this morning to actually get out of bed and have a shower- not done that since friday! Thought I'd dress up and make an effort as Sarah dragged me to a sodding wedding fair- not exactly where I wanted to be. Blow dried my hair and wore the new skirt plus new underwear that I havent even tried on.

    It was ok. Full of snobby 4x4 driving hoity toity likes, but ok. Other then the fact that 2 separate stalls thought Sarah and I were the happy bride and bride to be. Honestly............WTF?!!?

    Im going to a meditation class tomo night, hopefully I can get a grip. I know its wi tomo noght but I dont exactly feel inspired to go. I feel flabby and yuk. And like I've eaten too much.

  7. #232
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    Diet: Calorie Counting
    Height: 5ft7in
    Start Date: 25/11/12
    Start Weight: 19st13lb
    Current Weight: 15st13.5lb
    Goal Weight: 11st7lb
    Goal Date: September 2015


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 43.7
    Current BMI: 35
    Goal BMI: 25.2


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 3st13.5lb
    Weight to Lose: 4st6.5lb
    % Lost 19.89%
    didnt get his number no, I could contact him on fb but I dont think I will. This may seem odd. But it made me so happy I just want to leave it as it was!

    For my therapy I pay 40 for an hour which I dont think is too bad. I have had many experiences of NHS counseling and they were all terrible. This is my first paid private one, although I have had private before but it was funded my uni (the first time round not this time) and the other thing Ive had is from a charity, it was so good, so if you feel like paying is too much maybe do some research into your local charities and get help that way. Or chance the NHS? They must have some good counselors!

    Youve taken the hardest step already! Realising your problems and admitting you need help - now you just need to plan how to get where you want! I love a good list, I think lists solve so many problems! They also have a calming effect.

    If you dont want to weigh in, wait a few days or another week, regain some control and come back to the scales when your ready! xxxxxx

  8. #233
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    Diet: Weightwatchers
    Height: 5ft5in
    Start Date: 7th Sept 2011
    Start Weight: 19st13lb
    Current Weight: 17st2lb
    Goal Weight: 11st0lb
    Goal Date: asap!


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 46.4
    Current BMI: 39.9
    Goal BMI: 25.6


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 2st11lb
    Weight to Lose: 6st2lb
    % Lost 13.98%
    If my meditation class is cancelled I'm going to brave tomo! Face the fear!!

    I've had some NHS counselling- it was awful!!!!! And I did some private at Southampton uni and that was marginally better, but there are 2 aspects of my past that must be like a counsellors wet dream- and we focus on just those things and nothing else. Despite my attempts to redirect. I think I just need to get out and do some nice things for other people and take some art lessons. I'm going to join rock choir and mayb the local andram if I find where they are just gotta get happy.

    Aw hon! Ru still on a high? He might track you down!! You irresistible foxy pika! Xxx

  9. #234
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    Diet: Calorie Counting
    Height: 5ft7in
    Start Date: 25/11/12
    Start Weight: 19st13lb
    Current Weight: 15st13.5lb
    Goal Weight: 11st7lb
    Goal Date: September 2015


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 43.7
    Current BMI: 35
    Goal BMI: 25.2


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 3st13.5lb
    Weight to Lose: 4st6.5lb
    % Lost 19.89%
    haha my high has slightly decreased somewhat as I have to record a business pitch and put it on youtube before tmrw morning haha I dont know why I do it to myself! Im so bad at leaving my uni stuff to last min. Only my lecturer will see it but Im still in my pjs, haha going to get dressed and make myself presentable and then try and work out how youtube works and how to make things private!

    Ahh Im really lucky as my therapist now is all about self led sessions, we did a timeline so he knows the big events but we just talk about whatever I feel like! but often that leads back to certain things. Just cover that bad stuff when and if I feel like it!

    hmm maybe I should join a club? I have no idea how to meet new people! Im on plenty of fish but I only seem to attract seriously ugly guys. or 60 year olds. Its become quite depressing haha. I dont know what club I would join tho! lol no talents or interests! I think Id be too scared to do it alone aswell!

  10. #235
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    Join Date
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    Diet: Calorie Counting
    Height: 5ft7in
    Start Date: 25/11/12
    Start Weight: 19st13lb
    Current Weight: 15st13.5lb
    Goal Weight: 11st7lb
    Goal Date: September 2015


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 43.7
    Current BMI: 35
    Goal BMI: 25.2


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 3st13.5lb
    Weight to Lose: 4st6.5lb
    % Lost 19.89%
    I just realised I lost a stone in Jan!!! How good is that then?! You only lose a stone a month on VLCDs and I did it while living an actual life!

    Chuffed with that!!!
    madmuppet and Perpleo like this.

  11. #236
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    Diet: Weightwatchers
    Height: 5ft5in
    Start Date: 7th Sept 2011
    Start Weight: 19st13lb
    Current Weight: 17st2lb
    Goal Weight: 11st0lb
    Goal Date: asap!


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 46.4
    Current BMI: 39.9
    Goal BMI: 25.6


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 2st11lb
    Weight to Lose: 6st2lb
    % Lost 13.98%
    Quote Originally Posted by mybodyisacage View Post
    haha my high has slightly decreased somewhat as I have to record a business pitch and put it on youtube before tmrw morning haha I dont know why I do it to myself! Im so bad at leaving my uni stuff to last min. Only my lecturer will see it but Im still in my pjs, haha going to get dressed and make myself presentable and then try and work out how youtube works and how to make things private!

    Ahh Im really lucky as my therapist now is all about self led sessions, we did a timeline so he knows the big events but we just talk about whatever I feel like! but often that leads back to certain things. Just cover that bad stuff when and if I feel like it!

    hmm maybe I should join a club? I have no idea how to meet new people! Im on plenty of fish but I only seem to attract seriously ugly guys. or 60 year olds. Its become quite depressing haha. I dont know what club I would join tho! lol no talents or interests! I think Id be too scared to do it alone aswell!
    Do we get to see you!!

    Know what you mean about pof.... All my dates from there (before I met lee) just wanted sex.

  12. #237
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    Start Weight: 19st13lb
    Current Weight: 17st2lb
    Goal Weight: 11st0lb
    Goal Date: asap!


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 46.4
    Current BMI: 39.9
    Goal BMI: 25.6


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 2st11lb
    Weight to Lose: 6st2lb
    % Lost 13.98%
    Quote Originally Posted by mybodyisacage View Post
    I just realised I lost a stone in Jan!!! How good is that then?! You only lose a stone a month on VLCDs and I did it while living an actual life!

    Chuffed with that!!!
    Yay! Well done!!!!!!! Xxxx

  13. #238
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    Morning all,

    Ooo that was exciting gossip it creates such adrenaline and makes you feel so happy and boosts your confidence. When you said he was chatting to your size 8 friend- I have always thought men are attracted to skinny girls but it really isn't always the case, I have a few men friends and when I was chatting to one about what type of girl he likes he said that they couldn't be too skinny, I was surprised.

    It seems like we all know how depression feels, after my ex I had hit rock bottom, it was my choice to end things because I had fallen out of love with him but for 5 years he held me back from doing what I wanted, he treated me shockingly and I resented him and regretted it. The regret turned into depression and I was signed off work etc. I was the same in that I couldn't get up on a morning, I had counselling through the doc but was rubbish (the fact she kept calling me Beth, my middle name, and not Lucy really annoyed me, I mentioned it so many times), randomly my parents started getting me up really early to drive to the countryside and go for long long walks. It helped so much, it made me feel small but in a good way, like the world is much bigger than me and I don't have to carry the weight of it on my shoulders. Now when I look back I remember the places they took me fondly and have been back since to do walks.

    After that I just thought I'm going to live, so I quit my job, went travelling for 4 months, whilst I was there decided to apply for uni, came home then moved to Liverpool a week later to start. Whilst in my first year I met my current boyfriend who is worlds apart from my ex and we've been together 3 years now.

    I think it shows that even though you feel at the time it's never going to end and there is no light at the end of the tunnel something happens and it is the end and the light is there.
    I know people do not believe but I see a brilliant tarot reader about every 9 months, she's amazing, the first time I saw her she said I aren't here to tell you your future or to tell you what to do, the tarots will give you a map of your life as it is and your choices, after I see her I have such clarity it's amazing.

    Sorry a out the long post x

  14. #239
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    Diet: Weightwatchers
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    Start Date: 7th Sept 2011
    Start Weight: 19st13lb
    Current Weight: 17st2lb
    Goal Weight: 11st0lb
    Goal Date: asap!


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 46.4
    Current BMI: 39.9
    Goal BMI: 25.6


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 2st11lb
    Weight to Lose: 6st2lb
    % Lost 13.98%
    Where are you from? I would love to see a recommend tarot reader. X

  15. #240
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    Quote Originally Posted by sapphirestara View Post
    Where are you from? I would love to see a recommend tarot reader. X
    I live in York you up north or down south?x

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