Charlenes Paul McKenna Gasric Band & I Can Make You Thin, 90 Day Success Journal

Okay i've been away from here for a while and am suffering the consequences! I've gained about a stone since i was properly active on here and binged like a mofo'! Thats about to change though. I have been dieting and using MFP, but its time i learned to have a healthy relationship with food! I'm onto my second week of Paul McKenna's I Can Make You Thin (i think i'm on day 12). I'll know when i update this tomorrow or tonight! If anyone has had success with this i'd love to hear from you. It'd be great encouragement, which i'd appreciate!

Start Weight & Bodyfat:
11st 3lbs (157lbs)
39% fat

Not feeling the best today. I started this because I was getting too obsessive about dieting & binging a lot. I promised myself I'd stick this out for the full 90 days before going back to dieting.
Sounds great right?
Not when you're borderlining obesity with zero self-esteem. Not to say this is bad for self-esteem. Actually self-esteems one of my main motivators for choosing to follow Pauls method. All was going good until today... Or was it yesterday? It started with my remembering it's my boyfriends mothers birthday Sunday and we're going for a meal for it. That was bad until I realized they'd hardly comment on my weight.
But today we bumped into his friend (who I'm certain hates me), and he's asking Shane to meet up with him - which is code word for Nightclub. Yup... A room full of half-naked gyrating skinny girls. I spend my life in pyjamas or clothes that hide my bulges. Kill me. Just kill me now! Anyway I've come to the realization that I can't hide forever. I'm going to have to face social situations and people are going to know I've gained quite a bit of weight. :(



Todays Average Success %: 72%

I ate when i was hungry? [50%]
I ate what i really wanted? [100%]
I ate consciously (20 bites)? [10%]
I stopped when i was full? [50%]
I left food on my plate [40%]
I drank water [2 litres / 100%]
I moved my body [9500 steps, 1800 cals / 100%] (anything above 1700 = 100%. Below = 0%)
I listened to the CD [100%]
I did the mirror exercise [100%]

One Positive thing i Noticed Today:
I found it easier than usual to relax after being majorly stressed.

What I'm Looking Forward To Tomorrow:
Improving my conscious eating.

My first two meals today were a failure. Firstly because i had to run to catch a bus, and secondly because I had a hot chocolate. I did get exercise though.
Meal 3 was a total success. Ate consciously, stopped when full, and didn't clean the plate. In fact, i still have half my dinner left.
Meal 4 was my leftover dinner, but I stuck to all the rules! Must learn to leave more food on my plate though.
Meal 5 was okay. Followed all the rules except 2: eating when I'm hungry - i mean, I THINK I was hungry, but it could have just been a craving. Also it was a snack bar so i ate the whole thing.. (I can make exceptions right?!)
My last meal was also more craving than hunger (chocolate, obviously). I ate slowly & consciously but didn't leave a crumb... :-/


Todays Average Success %: 66.5%

I ate when i was hungry? [33%]
I ate what i really wanted? [100%]
I ate consciously (20 bites)? [66%]
I stopped when i was full? [50%]
I left food on my plate [33%]
I drank water [2 litres / 100%]
I moved my body [50%]
I listened to the CD [100%]
I did the mirror exercise [100%]

One Positive thing i Noticed Today:
I avoided the scales when they were screaming to me!

What I'm Looking Forward To Tomorrow:
A day free of errands.

1. The best things that happened this week were:​
I craved bananas

2. My biggest challenges this week were:
Leaving food on my plate and telling the difference between hunger & cravings.

3. I did these things for the first time:
Complimented myself.

4. What I learned was:
I need to make an effort myself and not rely wholly on the CD to make me change my habits.

5. My top three priorities for the week ahead are:
-Eat consciously.
-Exercise more.
-Don't give up.

Today wasn't bad since I managed to avoid a takeaway and bought yummy stuff in Tesco instead. I am scared though. I have my first weigh-in tomorrow, and to make things worse, I'll be seeing my boyfriends family who will see that I've put on weight. :( Though I could be okay and actually lose weight! My main hope for now is that my body fat has gone down. I'm at frickken 39% - that's way too fat! Gawd i need to stop being so negative.... This doesn't exactly help either: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...le-longer.html

Todays Average Success %: 85%
I ate when I was hungry? [83%]
I ate what I really wanted? [100%]
I ate consciously (20 bites)? [83%]
I stopped when I was full? [83%]
I drank water? [100%]
I moved my body? [100%]
I listened to the CD? [100%]
I did the mirror exercise? [100%]
I left food on my plate? [16%]

One positive thing I noticed today:
I didn't order a takeaway when i was feeling lazy.

What I'm looking forward to tomorrow:
Eating extra consciously at Shane's mams birthday meal.

I weighed in for the first time since I started today. GAINED a pound, and I'm still 39% body fat. Can I just die now?? Or at least get lipo?! I'm too depressed for words. Like, i genuinely want to die. I'm going to have to start doing more exercise. From this day forward I'm aiming for 1845 calories burned each day. Not going to be easy... I need to start losing weight because i can't handle obesity. I wish i was at a weight where i could feel comfortable leaving the house... F**k sake, whats wrong with me. Can't even lose half a pound!
:mad:

Hey Sweetie. RawrGirl feels your pain. She is a major binge eater too. :( This is the first time in 14 years that she's ever come close to her goal weight...and she binged liked mad last night (4000 calories). Somehow we need to beat this...and figure out what is at the root of it. :sigh:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RawrGirl

Hey Sweetie. RawrGirl feels your pain. She is a major binge eater too. :( This is the first time in 14 years that she's ever come close to her goal weight...and she binged liked mad last night (4000 calories). Somehow we need to beat this...and figure out what is at the root of it. :sigh:

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4000 calories is my usual binge amount - though i've been known to go waaay over, on a regular basis. Doesn't help that I can't keep track of calories at the mo. *cries* I'm not sure i want to know fully what caused mine - i just want to beat it! Thats why i turned to Paul McKenna. Hoping lifting will save me at my next weigh-in!

Todays Average Success %: 81%

I ate when i was hungry? [66%]
I ate what i really wanted? [100%]
I ate consciously (20 bites)? [66%]
I stopped when i was full? [83%]
I left food on my plate [66%]
I drank water [2 litres / 100%]
I moved my body [52%]I listened to the CD [100%]
I did the mirror exercise [100%]

One Positive thing i Noticed Today:
My hair felt nice.

What I'm Looking Forward To Tomorrow:
My Mad Fat Diary & Eastenders


What I've already noticed about how things are changing:
I'm drinking a lot more water and beginning to focus on exercise.

​TODAY I WEIGH:
11st 4lbs (39% body fat)

I lifted weights today for the first time in months. I should have never stopped because I'm gone so weak & unfit! I can't wait to do it again Wednesday. After my horrible weigh-in yesterday, I've decided I'm going to buy Pauls Hypnotic Gastric Band and do it along with ICMYT. I need to succeed for once. Also met my OT today for the first time. Seems like she's really gonna help me get my life back to that of a normal 24 year old (crippling anxiety prevents me from doing things). I did mostly good today, though at my main meal I ate past my full signal. I'm so weak!

Good news about the OT...hope that works out for you. Anxiety sucks.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RawrGirl

Good news about the OT...hope that works out for you. Anxiety sucks.

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Thanks! And yeh it really does - especially 'cause there's no magic cure for it!

Day 16's exercise is to think about something I'm unhappy about in my life, and to come up with at least 3 ways it could be seen as a good thing. So here goes!:

1. I'm unhappy about my weight.
a. It keeps me warm
b. It defends my bones from breaking.
c. Women won't get jealous & attack me if their man looks in my direction.




And here's my daily stats:

Todays Average Success %: 91%

I ate when i was hungry? [100%]
I ate what i really wanted? [100%]
I ate consciously (20 bites)? [83%]
I stopped when i was full? [66%]
I left food on my plate [83%]
I drank water [2 litres / 100%]
I moved my body [100%] I listened to the CD [100%]
I did the mirror exercise [100%]

One Positive thing i Noticed Today:
I stopped eating Ben & Jerry's after a few spoonfuls.

What I'm Looking Forward To Tomorrow:
Entering a few giveaways.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by x_Champagne_Supernova_x

Women won't get jealous & attack me if their man looks in my direction.

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ROFL. Love it!

When you reach goal, you'll have to take up kickboxing to defend yourself. :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by RawrGirl

ROFL. Love it!

When you reach goal, you'll have to take up kickboxing to defend yourself. :D

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I don't think my anger and kickboxing would be a very wise mix! :p Women here are too scary tho'! (or maybe i'm just a chicken...)