dear diary............. week 1 in the fat club house :/
wow, ive never wrote a diary before, feel silly, but another member suggested this to me, so here it goes. ok so ive been on weight watchers on and off. when I stick to it, its brilliant and I enjoy it. just need to get my brain in gear. the last time I went was around 3 weeks ago, and I lost 6lb... yay, great.. go me...... NOT. the past 3 weeks, ive been different places, ate out a lot, diet gone completely out the window. IM AN IDIOT. but I really need to do this. im a single working mother of 1, my son relies on me to be there for him and I love him so much (im currently getting quite weepy).. (feeling even more silly). surely this should be enough to change my ways. I have no self control!!! my mum has recently been diagnosed with type 2 diabeties, theres a chance I could if I don't make changes. I have around 10 stone to loose :(, it aint going to loose itself. I have to do this.
and I will.
im going to do this. and its me who has to do this. it aint going to be easy. I need self belief and self confidence (also my mouth stapled shut and my hands bound). I have been bullied all my life. I don't want to be bullied no more. it hurts. I can ignore them or use comedy/sarcasm against them all i want but it still hurts. but at the end of the day, I give a great big middle finger up to the bullies. because my health, my son and my mother are more important. i'll do it for those reasons not for bullies.
so this is going to be my fresh start, week 1 back in the fat club, week 1 to the rest of my new healthier (maybe with the odd bad day) life. im going to try and post in my diary at least once a week. even If I am the only 1 who reads this and im actually talking to myself, I don't care, its made me feel a lot better jus getting a load of my chest.
wishing everyone else good luck with their journey. be good and be healthy.