Fed up of the fat

ella78

Full Member
Hello.

I'm usually a blogger, but I'd promised myself is never do a weight loss blog, so I thought I'd do a diary on here instead.

I'm 35 and 18.5 stone.

I'm so annoyed with myself for letting myself get this fat AGAIN.

I've always been overweight, but until my mid twenties it was a couple of stone. I was usually a size 14-16.

Then, in 2006, something happened that basically destroyed my life. I turned to food as comfort and to build a protective wall of fat around me.

Within a year I had put on 7 stone and was 21+ stone and a size 26.

After a couple if years I started to feel more myself and tried to lose weight, but nothing worked. I went to my GP and knowing I had PCOS I had some tests and found out I was severely insulin resistant. They gave me medication and the weight just dropped off me. I lost 5.5 stone without trying. I ate normally, didn't do anything drastic at all.

Fast forward to 2011 and my past caught up with me. I became very depressed and was diagnosed with PTSD, relating to the trauma from 2006.
Again, I turned to food and stopped taking my medication.

So now I'm back at size 22 and am astounded every time I see a photo of myself. I don't look like me. My image if myself is not this gigantic woman that I've become.

I love food. I write a cooking blog, all recipes I've made up myself, and I disagree wholeheartedly with the old adage 'nothing tastes as good as thin feels'. Until now, eating something delicious has always been more important to be than being thinner, but something has to change.

I recently came back from holiday in a West Africa, and had vowed to go back to a low carb diet when I got back.

The night I got home, I saw a deal on ******* for Exante meal packs.

I'd never considered a VLCD before, but thought maybe it would be the kick start I need.
I live alone, and have literally just moved house, so there would be no cooking smells, no real food in the house to either throw away or get tempted by. I decided to do it.

So now I have 14 weeks of Exante packs and I'm starting tomorrow. I've prepared by eating only protein and non-starchy veg, as well as drinking more water than usual.

Hopefully I can succeed in getting enough weight off so that I can exercise more comfortably, and transition back to a 'diabetic' diet to do the remaining part of my weight loss.

I have 8 stone to lose, so I'm in it for the long haul.

I'll journal here and try not to just give up if I have a blip... Something I'm prone to do. I'm feeling very determined to change my relationship with food, though, and these little packets of dust might just be the thing I need to do it.

Ella
 
Good luck on your slimming journey. I hope it's going well. Will pop back and see how your getting on. x
 
Hi guys.

I moved this diary to the Exante diaries bit, but didn't know how to delete this one... My diary is here: http://www.minimins.com/showthread.php?t=340420

Had a bit of a blip as got a horrible bug, so had to abandon diet after just 2 days, but back on from today.

I hope you are all doing well x


Start weight: 18.7
Prep week: 17.13 (-8lbs)
Week 1:
 
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