Good evening,
So much for not having any syns today - hubby and I went for a big walk today so when i got home tonight I was STARVING and just wanted to shove chocolate in my mouth!! I ended up having a few squares of dark chocolate (4.5 syns), and then a 2 finger kitkat (5.5syns). Those together with the mexican rice (4syns) came to a grand total of 13 syns. That's fine but doesn't leave me anything to play with at the weekend. Will need to try harder to keep some tomorrow.
So on the whole a good day. We were both off, and the sun was shining. We went away out for a walk which was about four miles, but a lot of steep hills so it felt like longer. We're planning to do another tomorrow (about 5 miles) so all good body magic, and great just to be out in the fresh air. We both have indoor jobs so it's lovely to make the most of being off and the dry weather.
Apart from my wee chocolate craving tonight all is well on the food front. The dark chocolate i referred to is dark belgian chocolate sweetened with stevia instead of sugar. I saw it in tesco. It comes in a 40g bar for 80p and is very rich. I've not yet been able to eat a whole bar which is both amazing, and a good thing!! Half a bar (three sections) is 4.5 syns - i have found that it is usually enough to take the edge off a chocolate craving. From someone that could easily put away a very large bar of galaxy on an almost daily basis this is an amazing thing! I found my kitkat a bit rubbish in comparison.
For lunch i had left over chicken with cucumber batons and a new potato salad made with chopped new potatoes and spring onion and pepper philly light (a choice) - it was yummy.
Normally I type my diary entry using my phone or my notebook, however on the PC tonight and lovely to have the luxury of a keyboard!! For that reason I thought it might be helpful to reflect a bit on the reasons that I want to lose weight. I'm hoping that this will be a helpful thing for me to look back on at times when i'm finding it difficult to keep going. At the moment I feel wonderful - really positive, in control, and optimistic about my weight loss. However I know from experience that these feelings don't always last, and that there will be difficult times where I feel like giving up or that i am losing control. It is these times that I have not been successful in the past, and I need to plan for these times now - so that i'm not typing this again in six months time doing ANOTHER restart!!
Sooooo, here we go, my many reasons for working hard to lose weight (i've deliberately not used the 'trying' as i've been 'trying' for many years without any great deal of success or commitment) -
* I want to feel like ME again - i feel like as i've got heavier i've lost my identity and my confidence
* I wast to feel young again - i'm in my 30's and not enjoying life the way i should be because of my weight and things that it stops me from doing
* I want to feel sexy again - i don't just now
* I want to be normal - while i get that everyone has different hang ups/issues (a lot more serious than their weight) I want to have days that go by where I'm not inhibited by my weight
* I want to fit into ALL the clothes in my wardrobe - I have a wardrobe and chest of drawers full of beautiful clothes in a size 12 that i can not longer even nearly fit into (currently size 16/18)
* I want to have a waist and not have a stomach that sticks out to just about the same place as my boobs!
* I want to be proud of myself and accomplish something - not give up when it gets hard.
* I want to be fit and healthy - or at least fit into my gym clothes so I can start working on that part!
* I want to be a healthy weight to try to have a baby.
* And if I get pregnant I want to be able to enjoy my pregnancy and actually look like i'm pregnant and not just fat.
* I want to lie in bed at night on my back without the fat around my boobs being pushed up into my neck
* I want to be able to bend over to tie my laces/put my boots on etc without feeling that i can't breath because of all the fat in my stomach pushing on my organs.
* I want to feel petite again (i'm only 5ft 3") and not always like the biggest girl in the room
That will do for now! I'm sure i'll add to it as i think of more! That was quite theraputic lol!
Night xx