LovelyLyds82 Weight Loss Journey............Xx

Hi everyone I'm Lydia, im 32 and have a lot of weight to lose. I am scared and equally excited to start my journey on Saturday 1st November 2014. I will be blogging my thoughts and feelings to encourage myself and hopefully others too. My start weight is 23st 7 lbs and my goal weight is 13st. I would like to drop from a size 26 to a curvy 14. I have the support of my husband and our son. It may be a little silly starting this diet in Nov but I just need to start, it makes sense!!!

I am starting cambridge diet SS and will stay on SS until I reach my goal. In total I have 6 dress sizes to get rid of and 10 1/2 stones to say goodbye to.

My weight and size are affecting my health and family life and also my work. I am so looking forward to seeing my size, health and aspects of my life change.

I will be back on Saturday my start date

welldone to everyone who is winning their internal fight, I'm looking forward to joining you

Much love and admiration
Lyds Xx

Hi lyds

Welcome welcome

I'd say you sound pretty serious - you're starting on Saturday for a start! None of this wait till Monday nonsense! Well it was nonsense when I did it because I was constantly on this thought process of being "on and off" a diet. Now if I have an unhealthy day or an unhealthy breakfast or something I try and just see it as part of life but back to being healthy again afterwards. I don't even write off the day anymore

I wish you lots of success - some lovely folks on this forum.

Cat x

My lovely friend Moo started at 24st and is now down to 18 - she is doing amazingly! Her user name is Destamia.

Also - there is a section called WEMITTS which is for folks with quite a lot to lose. I think regardless of size losing weight is a battle for everyone and takes determination and bloody hard work, but there are obviously some things that someone at my size is not going to be able to understand compared to someone starting in the 20stones etc. I've had a look through their diaries before and they are incredibly supportive. Definitely worth checking that section out too.

What's involved in Cambridge ?

Hi Cat,

thanks so so much for your message!

You are so right, I have always been a person to say I will start on Monday, the 1st, new year, lol I even said I will start next full moon and next clocks changing! Wow that is so embarrassing to write. I think the truth is I always wanted to mark the end of breaking a habit with something symbolic. Mark the end of a chapter. I do still feel like this but I can't put off starting anymore. There is always a reason to delay fighting the battles within and I want to stop the excuses etc. I suppose really I just need to grow up! Stop the self destructing thoughts and behaviour.

You Sound like you are winning your personal battles, which must make you feel motivated and strong. I look forward to reading your updates

thanks again for your message

Lyds Xx

Lol I've just noticed Saturday my start day is the 1st

I have just taken a picture of myself in underwear....... Can't wait not to look like this anymore!!
things can only get better
Xx

I bought myself a wish bracelet and I have it on now. Legend has it that you make a wish as you place on your wrist and when it wears through, your wish may come true. I wished to be the person I am meant to be, I wished to be the real Lyds, the Lyds without the self destruct button. I wonder when the bracelet will wear through. It was only a pound off ebay if you lovelies fancy giving it a go. It encourages me when I look at it. When ever I do something I now ask myself " will doing this get you to who you want to be or will it take you further away"
xx

MENTIONING FOOD........
tomorrow is the last day of this Lydia. I have chosen to have my mums beef casserole as my last meal, it is my favourite food in the whole world. Not overly unhealthy and full of vegetables.

I am strangly looking forward to drinking plenty of water as I know the more you drink the quicker you shrink, also it is good for my skin, bowel movements etc. I am aiming for 6 litres a day 2 morning, 2 afternoon, and 2 evening. I already drink a lot so this should be doable with a little effort, I'm hoping it will help with saggy skin too.

Xx

Yesterday I ordered myself new jeans and top from yours clothing. They just come and fit (size 24/26) but my gosh I look awful!! Such a shame and a waste of a life Xx

My husband, Tim came home from work at 5pm, I showed him my new top and said its like a bloody tent. Bless him, his reply was " well I love you and I'd like to spend some time under the tent with you! " lol he is such a keeper. How on earth can he have a 23 1/2 St wife and be so kind? He is so supportive he really is. We were just in the kitchen chatting and I mentioned that I really don't think I should come off plan for Christmas. He suggested we just stay at home and apart from our sons gifts we should just treat it like another day and cook food I don't like, Ie fish or chicken. I don't think I should come off plan at all until goal around next April. It's going to be tough but I'd feel amazing if I did it and New Years resolution would be to keep going, not start. Oh I have so much on my mind!!! Xx

LovelyLyds82 said:

Hi Cat,

thanks so so much for your message!

You are so right, I have always been a person to say I will start on Monday, the 1st, new year, lol I even said I will start next full moon and next clocks changing! Wow that is so embarrassing to write. I think the truth is I always wanted to mark the end of breaking a habit with something symbolic. Mark the end of a chapter. I do still feel like this but I can't put off starting anymore. There is always a reason to delay fighting the battles within and I want to stop the excuses etc. I suppose really I just need to grow up! Stop the self destructing thoughts and behaviour.

You Sound like you are winning your personal battles, which must make you feel motivated and strong. I look forward to reading your updates

thanks again for your message

Lyds Xx

Click to expand...

LOL the full moon reference made me laugh out loud!!

LovelyLyds82 said:

MENTIONING FOOD........
tomorrow is the last day of this Lydia. I have chosen to have my mums beef casserole as my last meal, it is my favourite food in the whole world. Not overly unhealthy and full of vegetables.

I am strangly looking forward to drinking plenty of water as I know the more you drink the quicker you shrink, also it is good for my skin, bowel movements etc. I am aiming for 6 litres a day 2 morning, 2 afternoon, and 2 evening. I already drink a lot so this should be doable with a little effort, I'm hoping it will help with saggy skin too.

Xx

Click to expand...

OMG - 6litres is quite a lot ?! I drink about 3.5 a day but need an extra litre as I work out. But guess it can't do any harm ? Unless it dilutes salts etc ? I really have no idea though!

LovelyLyds82 said:

My husband, Tim came home from work at 5pm, I showed him my new top and said its like a bloody tent. Bless him, his reply was " well I love you and I'd like to spend some time under the tent with you! " lol he is such a keeper. How on earth can he have a 23 1/2 St wife and be so kind? He is so supportive he really is. We were just in the kitchen chatting and I mentioned that I really don't think I should come off plan for Christmas. He suggested we just stay at home and apart from our sons gifts we should just treat it like another day and cook food I don't like, Ie fish or chicken. I don't think I should come off plan at all until goal around next April. It's going to be tough but I'd feel amazing if I did it and New Years resolution would be to keep going, not start. Oh I have so much on my mind!!! Xx

Click to expand...

THat would be an unbelievable achievement! I 've given Christmas some thought too. I think I'm going to eat whatever - but ONLY on Christmas day and Boxing day and STOP when I'm actually full!! Big challenge. Roast dinners are my absolute fave!!

Hello Lydia,
sneaking around and as a result I found your diary. Welcome to minimins and good luck on your journey. You seem to have everything for good start, desire and supportive husband. Not all of us the support we need on this long journey.
I do not know what cambridge diet is and how it works but 6 l of water is huge amount. Im not the doctor but Im pretty sure I have read that too much water is not so good for you actually.
This is just one article I found in internet for you
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/strange-but-true-drinking-too-much-water-can-kill/
As I said I dont know what the diet is I still wish you to lose weight healthy way. =)
Good luck and I will be reading how you doing =)

Thank you very much for your messages and concern, what a lovely supportive place I have come to. Yes 6 litres does sound a lot doesn't it! I will give it a go and if I feel it's not working I will reduce to 4.

Cambridge diet is is a very low calorie diet where you consume only cambridge food packs ( there are other levels to the weight loss plan where you do eat conventional food ) to help you maintain your weight loss you move up through the steps, slowly introducing food groups.

The food on the plan is very nice. There are bars, shakes and soups to choose from. I do not drink tea or coffee so giving up those won't be a problem but I do like a glass of wine or two so Im hoping a glass of fizzy water will help, lol who am I kidding!

I have removed all wine glasses from the house and will try to only buy food I don't like for the boys. I will cook them fish, chicken etc and pasta dishes they like but I don't. I will buy cheese and onion crisps and chocolate as they are not tempting to me.

We are not an overly sociable little family, we are all very outgoing but seem to just prefer to be with each other in our little home with our dog. Having to watch the pennies, not a big extended family, and my weight probably contribute to this also. Well the other day I had 6 invites in one day but I have said no to all but one of them. You see I know they will all involve food and as I will be in the delicate first few days and getting into ketosis I feel I just need to hibernate. I told myself oh just go and start the diet another day but I've had to be sensible, especially as one of the invites was to a chocolate party!!!
When I am in a stronger place and can get glammed up I will make an effort to go out more with myself and as a family. Summer pub lunches sound good lol

i had a dream last night that I was going out and I really enjoyed getting ready. It was lovely feeling good about myself. I can't wait for this to be a reality. I also had a cold in my dream which I'm hoping isnt a sign haha

Tonight we are going to my Mums house. I am not mentioning starting the diet to her on Saturday as she hates it when I diet (we will save the whys on that for another day)
my husband Tim also has 9 days off work starting from 2pm today so he has said if I need to I can have a few duvet days to help me through. I am not addicted to food or eating in its worst form, I don't binge eat or make myself sick, I don't take laxatives etc but I make wrong food choices and I eat big portions. I get full quite quickly but it doesn't take long for me to eat again. I think it's a habit and a comfort and something I do when I am bored or at home a lot. I know I don't have a true addiction but I feel with this diet there is going to be some withdrawal and cold turkey and if I could sleep through some of this I know it can only help

wow I have had a lot to say this morning!

Chat soon
thanks for being there
Lyds
Xx

I was just packing our bags for tonight when I thought of others things that I need to get down on here so I can look back on it.

as part of the getting back to the real me I also need to sort out some other areas of my life such as drinking wine, over spending, thinking everyone else is better/happier/more fulfilled than I am, negative thoughts etc.

Alcohol is not allowed on plan at all so I guess that sorts that one out, but when I do reintroduce it I only want to allow two glasses once a week or at special occasions. It is bad for my appearance, health and bank balance

i need to start living within my means. I must not buy food outside of our monthly budget in less included in our going out/family time fund. I must stop buying clothes and just make do with cheap bits until I can wear all my lovely small clothes and then when I reach goal treat myself to a quality piece once every few months. I must stop buying things for the house or doing more DIY for a bit. Restart next year but a little at a time and only buy things really needed/ wanted as I end up wasting so much money on things I throw out or give away.

i must stop looking at celebs and other women and compare myself to them. No more mags or stalking on facebook like a freak!!!

i must try to look at things with a glass half full mentality, I need to see the positive, the hope etc or at easily spiral into depression, anxiety and I not only hit the self destruct button, I sit on it and it takes me a long long time to get back up.

healthy mind, healthy body

glad I got this down
Xx

Good for you, you have everything planed and when the time is right you can do it. Is the big amount of water also in your food plan? Anyway - be careful with water and you will be fine.

Christmas is not important to me. Did I say it out loud ? But thats true. I love Christmas, all the songs and old movies and miracles and snowing at Christmas Eve - I love it all. Going to church and listen what they say there. Open you mind and chest to light- I love all that. To see how citys are full of light and smell of Christmas tree ( real tree, not plastic ) BUT and thats big but - Christmas is now about gifts and eating , eating , eating. We will have some Christmas meal , but not so big like usually people have. We do gifts, sometimes , sometimes we dont. Gift is not important. Like the over-eating. Its something that I think we are programmed to do. All the adds, magazines, celebrities tell us how great is Christmas , how many nice foods you must have and how many gift you must buy - or you dont love your family - Thats how I feel and I protest about it. You can have nice Christmas dinner with family - without going crazy with food and drink and you dont have to buy 100 gifts to show you love someone. Ups sorry , got little out of hand - all I want to say is to dry to enjoy Christmas, have nice family time together, watch old movies and have your water =) You can do it =)

I always look at other women and must say before, back at home, I never saw anyone who was bigger then I was ( my max weight was 25 st 2 lb) when I got to UK I could see lady's who are same size as I am and some were bigger. Now after losing so much weight I can see myself as "normal " - lol, doable I would say- this motivates me. Looking and stunning lady's I dream to become one. Like our lovely Cat here, working so hard , looks amazing - thats where I want to be one day

Good luck girl =)

Ahhhh thanks so much for taking the time to respond to me, as always has given me something to think about Xx

More thoughts to look back on..............

I used to think that when I was slim all my life would fall in to place magically, I have lately realised that losing weight is one of the keys I need to work on other areas of my life. Being slim won't stop me ageing, or being anxious or having dark imaginings but it will hopefully put me in the right head space to deal with other emotions. I am also worried a little as when I am large I can just focus on this one area of my life and brush the rest under the carpet. I get the feels losing weight is going to make me have to look at other areas of my life. I clearly can't control my weight.....yet! But out of all the things life can throw at us it is one of the things I am in control of. I'm not sure if I am making a lot of sense but I feel all these ramblings will slowly fall in to place over the coming months.

Without going in in to too much detail ( you will all think I'm away with the fairies) I truly believe I was meant to be big, my weight was saving me from myself as I had a rebellious nature and if I had of been more confident God only knows where it would of led me. When I have been slim before I have acted in ways that are not good for me. My weight protected me until I grew up. Now the only reasons I want to be slim are for my little family and me. No one else is involved. Losing weight this time feels different as I don't think I need to be protected from myself anymore.
the ego is fading!
im not sure if that sounds all very odd, but to me it makes perfect sense.

Xx

LovelyLyds82 said:

More thoughts to look back on..............

I used to think that when I was slim all my life would fall in to place magically, I have lately realised that losing weight is one of the keys I need to work on other areas of my life. Being slim won't stop me ageing, or being anxious or having dark imaginings but it will hopefully put me in the right head space to deal with other emotions. I am also worried a little as when I am large I can just focus on this one area of my life and brush the rest under the carpet. I get the feels losing weight is going to make me have to look at other areas of my life. I clearly can't control my weight.....yet! But out of all the things life can throw at us it is one of the things I am in control of. I'm not sure if I am making a lot of sense but I feel all these ramblings will slowly fall in to place over the coming months.

Without going in in to too much detail ( you will all think I'm away with the fairies) I truly believe I was meant to be big, my weight was saving me from myself as I had a rebellious nature and if I had of been more confident God only knows where it would of led me. When I have been slim before I have acted in ways that are not good for me. My weight protected me until I grew up. Now the only reasons I want to be slim are for my little family and me. No one else is involved. Losing weight this time feels different as I don't think I need to be protected from myself anymore.
the ego is fading!
im not sure if that sounds all very odd, but to me it makes perfect sense.

Xx

Click to expand...

It does make perfect sense. I feel that way too , not even feel but I know. I never hated myself being big. Or hated some part of me - I love myself , always have had. Could not really see myself big , mind tricks

What you reminded me and I had forgotten is that my big fat soft spot have saved my life once. Dont know how I could forgot it. Anyway - it was back home , at Valentine Day about 6 or 7 years ago. I was at my max weight 160 kilo. Me and my friend had nice day out, we went to see frozen waterfall as they are looking amazing and wanted to do some photos as well. Walking on ice and one moment ice break and I fall trough it. Thanks for my big behind I was stuck in hole. Everyone in my country knows what to do on ice when ice breaks so I got myself on my belly, arms as wide apart as possible and started to crawl out of the hole. lucky for me, ice was strong enough to carry me. When I got out I looked at that hole I was stuck. Thing was I did not get wet. Strange feeling btw- when you brain tells you it will be wet and so cold and then your body dont feels it - one of the life time feeling. And the reason why I did not get wet was that the water was so low, about 2m apart from ice. If I would drop down I would die, because there would not be any way for me to get out. I would have died under in ice tunnel.

After that I stop dieting for some time, I was so grateful for my behind for being so big. This must been my lesson. Be grateful what you have =) Ofc - you could say maybe if I would not be so big, maybe then I would not even drop trough the ice first place. Yes maybe - but I did , and my arse saved me I loved my arse before that , but after that I could write a song about it , lol - thats how great it is