Having a lovely birthday.. FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary - MiniMins.com

FatFairNForty(ish) · 10th October, 2006

31 minutes before I start! That will be midnight tonight 10th October 2006.

Earlier this evening I drove to the whiles of Northamptons borders and met my Cambridge Diet Counsellor (AKB). What was supposed to be an hours intro etc turned rapidly into almost 3 hours! I know it's because I could talk for Britain, but also because she has been where I'm at, and it was SO good to speak to someone who REALLY understands!

She was lovely, and so clued up on it all, I was very impressed (also incredibly impressed with how tidy her house is!)

Having been diagnosed a few months ago with Obstructuve Sleep Apnea, and being told that the ONLY treatment was a revolting Darth Vadar/Aliens Cpap machine

, I decided it was time to take drastic action! I've thrown so much money at my OSA problem trying out some real dodgy gizmos and gadgets to solve the issues..

but, alas, no good. So, whilst scouring the net I found a site FULL with information and discovered that losing weight is the best way to irradicate the problem!

Now, don't get me wrong, I have ALWAYS known my weight was unhealthy - let's face it, I've had my entire family and the world, his wife, his kids and his divorce lawyers telling me for the last 30 odd years!

If I didn't know now I'd have to be pretty dense (no pun intended!. SO - armed with all the info, and having argued vociferously (good word that! better keep that for another time...) with the ENT registrars secretary at a certain hospital, I decided to show them that they were wrong! I AM NOT PREPARED TO WEAR A MASK IN BED! (well, unless I meet someone who...

well, anyway....) So, being the stubborn bolshy mare my friends know and love, I made the decision to lose weight.

I heard about CD years ago and made a half-hearted attempt last year.. I was doing really well (for 3 weeks) when I met a man who later became a very special person in my life. A very large man, I soon gave in to his persuasive offers of meals out (yeah, like I took any persuading!!), seaside trips with the obligatory donuts and weekends away - all involving copious amounts of my glorious passion - food!). So, I gave up on the diet and promptly regained it all and then some.

Sadly, 8 months later (and not realising it was apnea) he called it a day saying that he couldn't cope with my snoring..

One day, I'm going to stride up to his front door and pretend to be someone else and see if he realises it's me! In fact, I think I will return the diamond ring he gave me... that will be the clue, and when I do I'm going to flash the biggest smile at him and look him in the eye and say... "look who you could have been with all this time...oh, and by the way, I don't snore now!".. then I'll smile and leave!

It isn't his fault I am fat, just as it isn't my mums for giving me junk food, or my mates for bringing bucket loads of chocs to me when I was off my feet for 2 years in my late teens, nor is it the fault of my ex-husband for leaving me for his trim, petite, attractive floosy... I mean, um... now wife!... nor is it the fault of my nan for her home baking, or the chippy for piling extras in for me coz I used to flirt with him (lol)... nope... as I was trying to explain to one of my endless slimming club leaders once... it's not my thyroid, it's not my metabolism, it's not my build, it's not in my genes (hell, I haven't even worn jeans for at least 3 years!)... it is simply me! I have put every single morsel into this bottomless (well, no, that's not true, it has a very large bottom at the moment!!!

) pit and enjoyed almost all of it!

So now, it's time to change.

I want to be me, the real me, the me who is desperate to make a break, the me who wants to wear jeans again, who wants to go up the stairs without sounding like she's run a marathon. I want to be the me I've never been.. I want to be the me who can actually go and buy clothes that fit from Primark, Matalan (see, I know the designer names... lol)... I want to be the me who can sit in a restaurant and know that people aren't checking every forkful and looking away tut-tutting in that oh-so-pi*sing-me-off

way they do! I want to walk into a school playground and NOT have the children point and tell their mummies I am a fat lady

! I want to be the me I can be but have never been!

Gosh... this isn't how I meant to be in this diary

, but it's clearly how I feel right now.

I also,... I know revenge is a BAD thing.. but anyway... I also want to send my ex a photo of the new me (when I arrive!) stuck on a postcard from the caribbean - with a note attached saying..."glad you're not here!

I know I sound bitter and twisted, and maybe I am, but you know what... maybe when there is less of me physically there will be more of me emotionally and the bitterness will leave and the need for revenge will fade away into oblivion.. maybe..

Well, off to bed now and so to awake on my first day of my big adventure!

happygal · 11th October, 2006

Hi Ya

Wow!! Your determined and I have a feeling your gonna get there!!

Im starting the same journey after struggling at weight watchers I saw my CDC tonight too.

FatFairNForty(ish) · 11th October, 2006

Hello!

You'll do it too! I can tell! We can beat this thing together ! (So much easier I think than trying all alone...) I promise to be there every single painful and glorious step of the way with you!

Ultimately we will get to our goals... I'm sure of it.. (I must make a note to diarise this comment for those times when I am tempted in a different direction - hee hee!)...

My weigh-ins will be weekly on Tuesdays... I know you aren't seeing yours for 2 weeks but just think... the loss will be even MORE impressive!

**MandyB2** · 11th October, 2006

Good luck FF&F.... and Happygal... you both sound so focused

Have a great day one today ff&f and you on Monday happygal...

love xxxxx

Lil' Lola · 11th October, 2006

Just wanted to wish you all the best. You're determined, know what you want and I know that you'll succeed. Can relate so much to what you have said, and being a fellow sufferer of OSA can understand you not wanting to sleep with a mask. Believe me, I know, I have one!

Darth Vader resides here.

Good luck for tomorrow I'll be joining you.

FatFairNForty(ish) · 11th October, 2006

Well, howdly doodly Lola!

Fantastic, we can BOTH kill of the vadar man together!

DO let me know how you are doing won't you? I don't have the mask and, given how stroppy I was on the phone to yer woman from the hospital I think I just went straight to the bottom of their list!

hee hee..

Didn't mean to make you feel bad about your mask

- I have heard they make a fantastic difference to your energy levels and hopefully that will help you get to goal with CD too!

Yay to us first-dayers!

ooh and thank you Mandy too

Lil' Lola · 11th October, 2006

Thank you I will. You didn't make me feel bad at all. I felt that when I had to go in for the sleep study and shared a room with an anorexic

.

It does make a difference but I can't wait until I've lost enough to go without it. It's a real passion killer.

happygal · 11th October, 2006

Hi Ya

Quote:

My weigh-ins will be weekly on Tuesdays... I know you aren't seeing yours for 2 weeks but just think... the loss will be even MORE impressive!

My CDC has told me to go according to my own weigh ins because hopefully she will only be seeing me once a month. She says that she simply cant see people every week or she would be seeing someone every day. She says she likes to have at least 4 days per week free but that I am fine to call her On a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Really she can do what she wants because there is no one else for miles around. I took ages to actually get in touch with her and (3 messages on her answering machine later) I finally bull dozed my way into seeing her tonight by just being totally insistant that I would get in the car and drive to see her straight away!

I look forward to have someone on my journey with me. Who is treading the journey having started at the same time. I have 77.5lbs to go (which is 5 stone and 12 lbs).

Thanks Mandy for your warm wishes. Your doing brilliant and you look gorgeous. I cant believe from that photo that your not at target yet!!!

Oh and welcome Lil'lola. We can have a wee club that says we started first half of october. See how many join us!!

FatFairNForty(ish) · 11th October, 2006

Well, even more power to your elbow for being SO determined!

Blimey - am so surprised at your CDC, but you know what... it sounds like her life is a bit mad at the moment

.. not an excuse... but I guess we all have periods like that..

Right then, 5stone 12lbs... not bad at all my friend.. you can do that no worries!

I've got... umm.. well about 175 lbs which equates to... ummm.

. (I wish I had worked harder at maths..) well, it's well... 12stone 7lbs.!!! Oh goodness, it sounds so much more when it is in stones... I'm just going to leave it as 175lbs!

FatFairNForty(ish) · 11th October, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lil' Lola

It does make a difference but I can't wait until I've lost enough to go without it. It's a real passion killer.

See, now I KEEP telling people that this is the case but NO-ONE takes me seriously - ... I take it you have someone to be passionate with??

I don't, and to be honest... until I beat this damn OSA I am absolutely petrified of getting deeply involved with anyone... it would mean having to explain why I won't / can't spend a whole night with them! AND,, I have a couple of dates lined up this week and one of them has DEFINITE passion-potential!

LOL

I'm not making light of it though - I truly CAN imagine how dreadful it is and hope it is of some comfort to know that you are not alone and that once you shift some of the 7stone you are going to lose, well... you'll surprise your GP and will be able to chuck Mr Vadar back into space!!!

Hang on in there and it will happen for you hun.

Lil' Lola · 11th October, 2006

Happygal, really admire your determination in pinning down your CDC. You'll get there in no time. Good luck.

Diva · 11th October, 2006

Hiya FFF....welcome to MiniMins and I'm already intrigued by your journey!! Looking forward to getting to know you better....love your determination by the way!!

Lil' Lola · 11th October, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by FatFairNForty(ish)

See, now I KEEP telling people that this is the case but NO-ONE takes me seriously - ... I take it you have someone to be passionate with??

I don't, and to be honest... until I beat this damn OSA I am absolutely petrified of getting deeply involved with anyone... it would mean having to explain why I won't / can't spend a whole night with them! AND,, I have a couple of dates lined up this week and one of them has DEFINITE passion-potential!

LOL

I can understand that totally. I do have someone although they only stay over at weekends. Believe me, he says he'd rather put up with Darth Vader than my snoring. Have heard myself and I can't say I blame him.

Couldn't imagine having to explain it to someone new. I mean, where do you start ??? Hopefully yours will get better soon as well. I only got the mask as I was so damn tired all the time and never felt like I was sleeping, which I wasn't.

happygal · 11th October, 2006

Thanks Lil'Lola

To be honest I am at that now or never stage. Im getting married this time next year and me and my fiance our saving ourselves (which means he hasnt seen my body) and I would die if my body was in the shape its in now, the first time he sees it. I wouldnt mind if it was in proportion but its just not. My weight went on in proportion but I lost nearly 2 stone there and it hasnt came off in proportion, so it means its actually made my figure look worse (apart from a slightly smaller midriff). BUT Im not complaining because Im a smaller size than I was. The WW thing just isnt working for me anymore though. I really need to try something different cause 2lbs in 3 months is unacceptable progress. Im a struggler and I need some jet fuel. Im hoping CD is gonna be my jet fuel!!

10th October, 2006	#1 (permalink)
FatFairNForty(ish) Cambridge Diet Counsellor FatFairNForty(ish)'s Profile Albums FatFairNForty(ish)'s Photo Gallery Join Date: 10th October, 2006 Location: East Northants Posts: 4,312 My Mood: Rep Power: 84 Diet: Cambridge - Maintenance	Having a lovely birthday.. FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary 31 minutes before I start! That will be midnight tonight 10th October 2006. Earlier this evening I drove to the whiles of Northamptons borders and met my Cambridge Diet Counsellor (AKB). What was supposed to be an hours intro etc turned rapidly into almost 3 hours! I know it's because I could talk for Britain, but also because she has been where I'm at, and it was SO good to speak to someone who REALLY understands! She was lovely, and so clued up on it all, I was very impressed (also incredibly impressed with how tidy her house is!) Having been diagnosed a few months ago with Obstructuve Sleep Apnea, and being told that the ONLY treatment was a revolting Darth Vadar/Aliens Cpap machine , I decided it was time to take drastic action! I've thrown so much money at my OSA problem trying out some real dodgy gizmos and gadgets to solve the issues.. but, alas, no good. So, whilst scouring the net I found a site FULL with information and discovered that losing weight is the best way to irradicate the problem! Now, don't get me wrong, I have ALWAYS known my weight was unhealthy - let's face it, I've had my entire family and the world, his wife, his kids and his divorce lawyers telling me for the last 30 odd years! If I didn't know now I'd have to be pretty dense (no pun intended!. SO - armed with all the info, and having argued vociferously (good word that! better keep that for another time...) with the ENT registrars secretary at a certain hospital, I decided to show them that they were wrong! I AM NOT PREPARED TO WEAR A MASK IN BED! (well, unless I meet someone who... well, anyway....) So, being the stubborn bolshy mare my friends know and love, I made the decision to lose weight. I heard about CD years ago and made a half-hearted attempt last year.. I was doing really well (for 3 weeks) when I met a man who later became a very special person in my life. A very large man, I soon gave in to his persuasive offers of meals out (yeah, like I took any persuading!!), seaside trips with the obligatory donuts and weekends away - all involving copious amounts of my glorious passion - food!). So, I gave up on the diet and promptly regained it all and then some. Sadly, 8 months later (and not realising it was apnea) he called it a day saying that he couldn't cope with my snoring.. One day, I'm going to stride up to his front door and pretend to be someone else and see if he realises it's me! In fact, I think I will return the diamond ring he gave me... that will be the clue, and when I do I'm going to flash the biggest smile at him and look him in the eye and say... "look who you could have been with all this time...oh, and by the way, I don't snore now!".. then I'll smile and leave! It isn't his fault I am fat, just as it isn't my mums for giving me junk food, or my mates for bringing bucket loads of chocs to me when I was off my feet for 2 years in my late teens, nor is it the fault of my ex-husband for leaving me for his trim, petite, attractive floosy... I mean, um... now wife!... nor is it the fault of my nan for her home baking, or the chippy for piling extras in for me coz I used to flirt with him (lol)... nope... as I was trying to explain to one of my endless slimming club leaders once... it's not my thyroid, it's not my metabolism, it's not my build, it's not in my genes (hell, I haven't even worn jeans for at least 3 years!)... it is simply me! I have put every single morsel into this bottomless (well, no, that's not true, it has a very large bottom at the moment!!! ) pit and enjoyed almost all of it! So now, it's time to change. I want to be me, the real me, the me who is desperate to make a break, the me who wants to wear jeans again, who wants to go up the stairs without sounding like she's run a marathon. I want to be the me I've never been.. I want to be the me who can actually go and buy clothes that fit from Primark, Matalan (see, I know the designer names... lol)... I want to be the me who can sit in a restaurant and know that people aren't checking every forkful and looking away tut-tutting in that oh-so-pising-me-off way they do! I want to walk into a school playground and NOT have the children point and tell their mummies I am a fat lady ! I want to be the me I can be but have never been! Gosh... this isn't how I meant to be in this diary , but it's clearly how I feel right now. I also,... I know revenge is a BAD thing.. but anyway... I also want to send my ex a photo of the new me (when I arrive!) stuck on a postcard from the caribbean - with a note attached saying..."glad you're not here! I know I sound bitter and twisted, and maybe I am, but you know what... maybe when there is less of me physically there will be more of me emotionally and the bitterness will leave and the need for revenge will fade away into oblivion.. maybe.. Well, off to bed now and so to awake on my first day of my big adventure! __________________ Cambridge Diet Counsellor* *Started Cambridge Diet 11.10.2006 - 23stone 4.8lbs* Goal of 11st 4 reached 10.09.07- current weight 11stone 1lb** Skydive:http://www.photobox.co.uk/album/6833983 Last edited by canireallydothis!! : 21st November, 2006 at 12:54 PM. Reason: title change

11th October, 2006	#3 (permalink)
FatFairNForty(ish) Cambridge Diet Counsellor FatFairNForty(ish)'s Profile Albums FatFairNForty(ish)'s Photo Gallery Join Date: 10th October, 2006 Location: East Northants Posts: 4,312 My Mood: Rep Power: 84 Diet: Cambridge - Maintenance	we can do this! Hello! You'll do it too! I can tell! We can beat this thing together ! (So much easier I think than trying all alone...) I promise to be there every single painful and glorious step of the way with you! Ultimately we will get to our goals... I'm sure of it.. (I must make a note to diarise this comment for those times when I am tempted in a different direction - hee hee!)... My weigh-ins will be weekly on Tuesdays... I know you aren't seeing yours for 2 weeks but just think... the loss will be even MORE impressive! __________________ Cambridge Diet Counsellor *Started Cambridge Diet 11.10.2006 - 23stone 4.8lbs* Goal of 11st 4 reached 10.09.07- current weight 11stone 1lb** Skydive:http://www.photobox.co.uk/album/6833983

11th October, 2006	#4 (permalink)
MandyB2 Moderator/CD Counsellor MandyB2's Profile Albums MandyB2's Photo Gallery Join Date: 20th July, 2006 Location: Morecambe, Lancashire Posts: 1,910 My Mood: Rep Power: 37	Good luck FF&F.... and Happygal... you both sound so focused Have a great day one today ff&f and you on Monday happygal... love xxxxx __________________ *MANDY xxxxxx* MandyB2- Day 271...Need my drive back!!!!!! - Topic Powered by eve community

11th October, 2006	#6 (permalink)
FatFairNForty(ish) Cambridge Diet Counsellor FatFairNForty(ish)'s Profile Albums FatFairNForty(ish)'s Photo Gallery Join Date: 10th October, 2006 Location: East Northants Posts: 4,312 My Mood: Rep Power: 84 Diet: Cambridge - Maintenance	Well, howdly doodly Lola! Fantastic, we can BOTH kill of the vadar man together! DO let me know how you are doing won't you? I don't have the mask and, given how stroppy I was on the phone to yer woman from the hospital I think I just went straight to the bottom of their list! hee hee.. Didn't mean to make you feel bad about your mask - I have heard they make a fantastic difference to your energy levels and hopefully that will help you get to goal with CD too! Yay to us first-dayers! ooh and thank you Mandy too __________________ Cambridge Diet Counsellor *Started Cambridge Diet 11.10.2006 - 23stone 4.8lbs* Goal of 11st 4 reached 10.09.07- current weight 11stone 1lb** Skydive:http://www.photobox.co.uk/album/6833983 Last edited by FatFairNForty(ish) : 11th October, 2006 at 12:32 AM. Reason: coz I'm poo at gettin' it right first time!

11th October, 2006	#9 (permalink)
FatFairNForty(ish) Cambridge Diet Counsellor FatFairNForty(ish)'s Profile Albums FatFairNForty(ish)'s Photo Gallery Join Date: 10th October, 2006 Location: East Northants Posts: 4,312 My Mood: Rep Power: 84 Diet: Cambridge - Maintenance	Well, even more power to your elbow for being SO determined! Blimey - am so surprised at your CDC, but you know what... it sounds like her life is a bit mad at the moment .. not an excuse... but I guess we all have periods like that.. Right then, 5stone 12lbs... not bad at all my friend.. you can do that no worries! I've got... umm.. well about 175 lbs which equates to... ummm. . (I wish I had worked harder at maths..) well, it's well... 12stone 7lbs.!!! Oh goodness, it sounds so much more when it is in stones... I'm just going to leave it as 175lbs! __________________ Cambridge Diet Counsellor *Started Cambridge Diet 11.10.2006 - 23stone 4.8lbs* Goal of 11st 4 reached 10.09.07- current weight 11stone 1lb** Skydive:http://www.photobox.co.uk/album/6833983

11th October, 2006	#2 (permalink)
happygal Banned happygal's Profile Albums happygal's Photo Gallery Join Date: 30th August, 2006 Location: Northern Ireland Posts: 587 Rep Power: 0 Diet: CD	Hi Ya Wow!! Your determined and I have a feeling your gonna get there!! Im starting the same journey after struggling at weight watchers I saw my CDC tonight too.

11th October, 2006	#5 (permalink)
Lil' Lola Regular Member Lil' Lola's Profile Albums Lil' Lola's Photo Gallery Join Date: 7th September, 2006 Posts: 19 Rep Power: 0	Just wanted to wish you all the best. You're determined, know what you want and I know that you'll succeed. Can relate so much to what you have said, and being a fellow sufferer of OSA can understand you not wanting to sleep with a mask. Believe me, I know, I have one! Darth Vader resides here. Good luck for tomorrow I'll be joining you.

11th October, 2006	#7 (permalink)
Lil' Lola Regular Member Lil' Lola's Profile Albums Lil' Lola's Photo Gallery Join Date: 7th September, 2006 Posts: 19 Rep Power: 0	Thank you I will. You didn't make me feel bad at all. I felt that when I had to go in for the sleep study and shared a room with an anorexic . It does make a difference but I can't wait until I've lost enough to go without it. It's a real passion killer.

11th October, 2006	#11 (permalink)
Lil' Lola Regular Member Lil' Lola's Profile Albums Lil' Lola's Photo Gallery Join Date: 7th September, 2006 Posts: 19 Rep Power: 0	Happygal, really admire your determination in pinning down your CDC. You'll get there in no time. Good luck.

11th October, 2006	#12 (permalink)
Diva Cambridge Diet Counsellor Diva's Profile Albums Diva's Photo Gallery Join Date: 22nd July, 2006 Location: Middlesex Posts: 2,659 My Mood: Rep Power: 34	Hiya FFF....welcome to MiniMins and I'm already intrigued by your journey!! Looking forward to getting to know you better....love your determination by the way!! __________________ Diva *A lighted candle loses nothing by lighting another...* *Just in case you didn't know ... De-Light-Full Divas Rock!!!*

11th October, 2006	#14 (permalink)
happygal Banned happygal's Profile Albums happygal's Photo Gallery Join Date: 30th August, 2006 Location: Northern Ireland Posts: 587 Rep Power: 0 Diet: CD	Thanks Lil'Lola To be honest I am at that now or never stage. Im getting married this time next year and me and my fiance our saving ourselves (which means he hasnt seen my body) and I would die if my body was in the shape its in now, the first time he sees it. I wouldnt mind if it was in proportion but its just not. My weight went on in proportion but I lost nearly 2 stone there and it hasnt came off in proportion, so it means its actually made my figure look worse (apart from a slightly smaller midriff). BUT Im not complaining because Im a smaller size than I was. The WW thing just isnt working for me anymore though. I really need to try something different cause 2lbs in 3 months is unacceptable progress. Im a struggler and I need some jet fuel. Im hoping CD is gonna be my jet fuel!!