Thread: Marie's NEW diary - All I want is some will power...why do I find it so impossible?!

Aww, thank you for all your birthday messages! I had a good day really (not diet wise, lol) and the most important thing is...I fit into my dress! Phew! I wasn't sure I would, not since I'd eaten kebab, pizza, choc and wine since I bought it last week, lol. But it fit! IT FIT!!! Yey!!!

OH got me a new laptop...a pink one! I love it!! It's not working at the moment (I think I did something to it when I was trying to install the internet - oops!) so I just thought I'd pop onto my old one quickly and say a quick hi!

I'll be back for a proper update later, just didn't want to read and run.

Catch you all later!

X

Come on, we want to hear about your weekend

Come on out madam it is no good you hiding behind that sofa, we can still see you.

Hey Starlight it looks like over the weekend we should have kept a better eye on her...........Hmmmmmm

Absolutely NO point in hiding... you know we wont go away... we'll post here, we'll email you, we'll text you... we'll wear you down

C'mon - fess up... what you been up to

Can I not get a moments peace with you lot?!! Lol!!

Well, I can start my saying I feel like a bit of a fraud for even being on here today...I am so off weight watchers it's not even funny. I'm off my diet, I'm eating bad food non stop and I have NO desire to go back to my diet at all...I've just lost the click, I am totally 100% un motivated - the worst part being that I'm not even really bothered.

I went to that wedding on Saturday and it was actually quite good. I'd been shopping before hand and bought myself a dress in a size 12 and an emergency pair of trousers in a size 14 in case the dress didn't fit, and I found myself thinking "a size 12/14 is great, why am I dieting?!". Now, I know why I've been 'dieting', it's because I'm not really a 12 (that dress was a one off) and I am in fact a large 14, BUT, I went out on Saturday and I really didn't feel too bad...which is good for me, but bad for my diet!!!

I'm not really sure where to go from here. I know it's going to hit me eventually that I'm not happy with my size as it is, and as some point in the near future I am going to be kicking myself for not sticking to ww and losing that extra stone, but I just done have that need to do it at the moment, which is making it impossible to do!!!

I'm rabbling on and probably making NO sense at all, so I'm sorry, I don't really even know what I'm trying to say, lol.

Anyway - Saturday went really well. I saw loads of people I haven't seen for ages (some I haven't seen for years!) and I was much more at ease than I expected to be. Bubs looked fantastic and got more attention that the bride, lol..my brother kept taking her off of us and walking around with her outside - apparently she does wonders for his sex appeal because all the 'fit birds' kept coming over to see bubs and talk to him, my baby brother is using my baby girl as a babe magnet, there's something just not right about it, hahaha. But it was generally a good day.

Yesterday was terrible, me and OH had a row and spent the whole day not talking - but that's a very boring and uninteresting story so I won't bore you with the details. (It was obviously his fault though )

Today I have arranged an afternoon in the pub on Friday with a few mates and I am REALLY looking forward to it!!!! I usually dread things like this, but this time I just can't wait! I don't know where this more relaxed me has come from, but I like it - I only wish it would last, but I know it won't.

So, that's me and what I've been up to. Not really very interesting is it, hehe.

Well first... I want to see photos of bubs

Im so glad you had a great weekend, and it goes without saying the argument was OH's fault

As far as your diet goes, honestly Marie, you probably can get away with a few weeks off. You look gorgeous and being a size 12/14 is something some of us can only dream of. If you even keep the WW basics, eating lower fat food, being aware of what youre eating then youre benefiting. Youve had great weight losses in the past couple of weeks, even if you stay the same for a couple of weeks it wouldnt be the end of the world.

Honest if I looked like you ID be eating pizza and kebabs too

Dont ever think youre a fraud for being on here, even if youre not following WW I cant tell you how much I. for one, need the support of people like you.

*HUGS*
S
Xx

Thank you so much for that Starlight - I was expecting to be told off, not to get support (though I should have known really, you're the most supportive bunch of people I've ever met! - not including The Clair of course, hahahaha).

I think part of the reason I've lost my motivation is my new Wednesday meetings. It hasn't given me the same push as my last meeting did. I don't know anyone there, so I don't have to go and who's gonna know if I've done badly? That's the kind of mindset I've had since I've joined and it's really been a complete waste of time and money.

I friend of mine asked me a while ago if I would join her local meeting with her when she got back from her hols. Well she got back from her hols this weekend, so I'm thinking of maybe starting her meeting with her in a couple of weeks time. I know it sounds like a cop out, but there's no point in me joining at the moment because I'm really not in the right frame of mind, I want to start again fresh when I've got that fighting spirit back and when I know I'm gonna give it my absolute all - does that make sense?

Anyway...

I don't have any pics of bubs yet - we took our camera and the battery went after just 2 pics (one of my parents and one of me - none of bubs ) so I'm waiting to get the pics off my mums camera..I'll try and pick it up tomorrow..or maybe now? Hmm...wonder if they're still up, hehe!

She did look beautiful though, I've never been so proud in my life - and she was SO well behaved too. She really did make my day - and Pops' day too, we hardly saw her between uncle Richard and Pops stealing her away from us, hehe.

I really think the success of a diet totally depends on where 'your head is' If youre not in the right frame of mind it wont work... maybe tho going with your friend will be the boost you need and get you back in 'the click' its worth a try

Whatever happens... dont you dare stop posting here, cos as I said...we WILL hunt you down

*HUGS*

Hi Marie
Totally agree with Starlight, your head does have to be in the right place. If I was you I'd definately go with your friend, I do find it easier when I go with someone. I'm dragging my mum along this time.
How old is bubs? I've got a 1yo dd and a nearly 4yo ds.
Anyway nice to met you, best of luck with it.
xx

Maire, firstly you are doing super, its great to start posting and see how well people are already doing on WW


do go with a friend if you can
three of us joined together
all for different reasons
but keep each other motivated during the week
yesterday I lost 11lb, one friend lost 7lb and the other lost 6lb, it is easier for me to be honest going with friends and it means no excuses to miss a class

So hows things going this week missus... all set for tomorrow.... what diet have you been sticking to most this week

Well firstly I want to thank you for all your posts, and I totally agree that you need to be in the right mindset for any diet to work - unfortunately I am so not in that place at the moment.

It occurred to me today that when I started ww I was working towards a goal - that goal being the wedding I went to on my birthday. It was a big event for me, there were people there I haven't seen in literally years and it really made me want to lose weight...now that's passed, I almost feel like there's no point in dieting because there's nothing to aim for (I appreciate that my way of thinking is ridiculous, because of course there's a point - I want to lose weight so I look nice and feel comfortable, but having an event to aim for did help).

Today we had an invite for a wedding reception. It's a friend of OH and I've never met them, BUT, the reception is above the most popular pub in my home town, so if we go then it'll be a HUGE incentive to lose weight - I refuse to walk into a busy pub with OH and be the fattest one there!!! I want to walk in that place feeling proud, not feeling like I want to hide in the nearest corner and feel embarrassed that OH is ashamed to be seen with me (I have a real big problem with him being seen out with me, I can't stand that feeling of him being embarrassed, so I just refuse to go out with him - ever - it's had a really bad effect on our relationship and if I'm honest I'm not sure the damage already done can be repaired...but I'd like to give myself the opportunity to try).

I can't go to my weigh in tomorrow because I don't get back home from there until just before 7 and OH has football tomorrow night which means he has to leave before I get back. I didn't have the heart to tell him he couldn't go, especially seeing as I know I've put on this week anyway, SO, I'm not going.

Now, this is where I need your input....

I find it really helps me to a) have someone I know seeing how much I weigh and b) being weighed in front of someone every week - be it someone I know or someone I don't - either does the trick. So, I am thinking about EITHER, speaking to my friend about joining a ww meeting together next week, OR, buying a new set of home scales, dragging my mum into the equation (heehee!) and us both weighing in at her house every week. If I go with the new scales at my mums plan then I was thinking we could both put £5 in a pot every week and the first person to lose a certain amount of weight (say a stone for example) gets all the money in the pot!! That way, I'm still paying my £5 a week, I'm still having an official weigh in every week, someone I know is still going see how well or how badly I've done AND I'll have the added incentive of trying to win the pot money for some new skinny clothes!! I personally love the idea - what do you think?!!

Sorry for going on - I've just been typing as I've been thinking so it's probably all come out as a big long boring mess, lol.

I've been so indecisive recently and I think that's been half my problem - I need to make a decision about what I'm doing and then bloody well stick to it!!!

x

I think the idea of you and your mum doing a wi together sounds brilliant... why not drag your pal in too! Id really try that if for no other reason you sound so much more enthusiastic about that than you have about classes. Hopefully if youre enthusiastic about that and really have something to work to itll get you in the right place again!

Im assuming you have what a couple of months before wedding reception no 2! Why not have that as your first target with your mum. How good would it be to have a new outfit for the do paid for

I hate the idea of you not going out with your OH, Marie you really do look gorgeous, Im not just saying that to make you feel better, you're lovely *HUGS* I can however totally relate to that feeling. I have a lovely (male) friend who regularly takes me for posh dinners at very posh hotels, hes lovely and I always think when people see us together they must think 'B***** hell whats he doing with her, he could do a hell of a lot better' I actually refused to go out once because of it and ended up in floods of tears, and told him how I felt, he was so sweet, totally reassured me. Have you sat down with your OH and explained to him exactly how you feel? It would be awful if your relationship suffered because of it *HUGS*

You know Im here for you in any way I can pal, be it on here, email. MSN, texts or a phone call, you only have to shout.

You WILL do it, I know you will

*HUGS*
S
xx

Thank you so much Starlight

I can't speak to OH about it, he is useless at things like that. I have kind of started to approach the subject before, but I've never actually explained to him the problem because he doesn't do reassurance so I'd just end up feeling even worse.

It's a really long story about how we got together, but basically we started off a big secret, which meant we spent all of our time hiding away together indoors. We just never really snapped out of it...we had a bad start and we just seem to have carried on that way, which hasn't helped with my self esteem issues one bit.

Wow, 'ark at me!...fully of self pity! Someone slap me!!!

I think I'll give my mum a call tomorrow about the weighing in thing. It never occurred to me that I was so enthusiastic about it, but you're right, I really am! Just thinking about it feels more positive - which is a good start!

Thanks mate, I feel better already!

Marie love, we've all felt like that at some point. I've had many an instance where I've not wanted to go out because I feel embarrassed. You're doing really well, you will get there. As Starlight said, doing it with your mum sounds like a good idea and I'm pleased you're feeling positive about it.
We're always here as well for you
xx