A very honest thread. Whats your story?

[Starlight]

Back in 2006 I was horrifically overweight. Im still too embarassed to admit my starting weight, one day I will, just not yet.

I have 2 gorgeous nieces, Emma (now 5) and Ciara (now 19 months) I realised if I didnt address my weight then I wouldnt be around to see them grow up.

I couldnt walk more than the length of myself without being breathless.

I couldnt get clothes to fit. I wore horrible horrible stuff I bought on ebay because nothing else fitted me.

I couldnt wear my uniform at work because I was too big to fit it.

I was scared Id die in my sleep.

I was turning into a hermit, refusing to go out unless it was somewhere 'safe' like my parents house.

I couldnt stand for more than 5 mins or my back hurt.

I had a cleaner to clean my flat, because honestly, I couldnt even do that.

I did all my shopping online because I couldnt face going to shops, besides I knew id be exhausted if I did.

When I went to buy a new car, I went to the dealer one day on my own, snuck into an open car to check I could fit behind the wheel (I could!) before I set about buying it.

In January 2007 my mum and I had a real heart to heart. We both ended up in tears as she confessed her biggest fears. My aunt died suddenly a couple of years ago and I saw what the grief did to my mum and realised what she went through with Annes death was nothing compared to what shed go through if it was me. That was it, my lightbulb moment! For the millionth time I decided I WOULD lose weight, only this time something clicked and I realised for once I was totally focused.

I started doing WW on 9 Jan 07, a complete turning point in my life. That first week I lost 6lbs. The following week I got the flu and ended up at my doctor, who brought up the subject of my weight. Without his help, Id never have got this far, hes been amazing!

Apart from my family and friends the other thing which has got me to where I am now, is Minimins. I was lucky enough to know of Summerskye through a mutual friend, who was also worried about what I was doing to myself and I learned about Minimins. Another turning point in my life! The only thing that worried me was anyone with a significant weight loss had done it through a VLCD not WW or anything like it. I worried I was kidding myself on that I could lose the weight I needed to.

So now, 19 months on, Im 170lbs lighter.

I can now shop in numerous places.

Im on my 3rd uniform issue as things are too big for me.

I take my nieces out regularly to shop, to the park, to Burger King... Im now the auntie I always wanted to be.

I do my own shopping

I do my own cleaning

I go to the gym!

My life has improved beyond words....

To anyone struggling, hang in there, you CAN do it. If I can, anyone can. Whether its a VLCD or WW etc it can absolutely be done....

I cant wait til this time next year to see where I am.....

[Tazzi]

Starlight you really are an inspiration. I am so proud to have known you. lots of love Taz x

[abba1772]

well done starlight, you are amazing to lose that amount of weight x x x

[Karenlou]

Here's my story in brief. My mum and dad split up when I was eight. As far as I can remember, I was a normal weight until then. My mum more or less stopped eating but started feeding up my brother and I until we were literally huge. I remember my brother had sores around his ankles from where his socks cut into his legs. When I was ten, I wanted a party dress and we couldn't find one in my size. My mother had to buy adults size 16 trousers and cut seven or eight inches off the bottom so they would fit me.

When I was a teenager she decided to put me on a diet and then would shout at me if I ate something after school while she was at work and accuse me of stealing food.

I got down to a size 12 when I was fifteen but still thought I was huge. Kids at school used to call me fatty but I had a boyfriend. One day my mum got old photos of me out and showed them to him and said "If you think she's fat now, look how big she used to be". I wanted the floor to swallow me up.

I've been fat all my adult life - seven and a half stone overweight at my biggest (four stone overweight at the moment). My mum says things like "you'd be so pretty if you weren't fat".

And just to round it up, some words of wisdom from former poet Laureate Philip Larkin:
They **** you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were ****ed up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

[Tazzi]

Hi Karen, What a moving tale. My mother still makes comments about my size. She tells me and everyone else that she is helping. Love your little poem at the end. I am terrified of having kids.........i dont want them to be as screwed up as me....

Taz x

[Karenlou]

I know what you mean. It's a miracle my son has turned out so well - he is not overweight but thinks he is. Hardly surprising when he has grown up watching me lurch from one diet to the other. I've had long and painful bouts with bulimia as well which thankfully I've managed to keep hidden from him. He thinks I'm gorgeous which is lovely (his girlfriend is skinny though - grr.)

I've finally realised my mum is not going to change - she's difficult in many ways. I have a lovely partner who I've been with for two and a a half years - he thinks I'm gorgeous as well

[Kitteh]

I love philip Larkin.. i studied him a while ago. he makes me cry a lot though.. lol..

x x

[Tazzi]

Well just from speaking to you i think your gorgeous. How sweet of your son to say. I still have bouts with bulimia which is a pain but i am trying to get past everything. Yeah i am learning that my mum will always be like she is and no matter how much i would like us to be happy families it wont happen. So i just have to get over the fantasy and live my life. x

[BeverleyG]

i dont even know what started me off. my mum is kind and understanding (lucky me and i know it). most of my family are overweight and its been normal to me. when i was young i thought i was huge and i was not really. i was however taller than almost everyone in junior and high school. this i think led to a lot of teasing about me being huge and i think this is what walked me down the garden path of 'o my god im huge and gross' leading to bouts of anorexia or bulemia throughout my life. now being a some what intelligent person i knew it was an awful way to lose weight and so never let it get to the stage where i was bones but i did once almost collapse after a week long starvation and exercise where i had lost a stone in 5 days. whenever i was down i would blame my size and punish myself by what i called dieting or even punching myself in the stomach on occasion. i used to pretend that i was fine with it and pass off panic attacks and depression by pretending it was fine. the old if i act happy one day i will be happy thing. i come across as such a confident person that no one ever suspects and i have played the role so long its now ingrained in me, so im like 2 ppl, the confident one and the scared hateful sick one. i have decided that the best thing i can do is be that confident person by dealing with the things that make me unhappy in a serious way. no more half started diets ended in cheating and starvation. im going to win this one and for once be the person that everyone else sees me as.

[Karenlou]

Yes, I've had to learn we can't change other people. You have my heartfelt sympathy over the bulimia. I had it for 20 years and the only reason I have got it under control is because I was brave enough to admit it to my OH and I have no way to hide and do it now. I'm still often tempted and it is hard not to binge and purge.

[Kitteh]

Sandy.. you never fail to amaze me.. you really dont.. I loved reading that..

x x

[wannabslim]

Wow Starlight, I have said it before and i'll say it again... you are a legend!!

Its scary how many people here battle or have done in the past, with bullimia. I have only ever met one person who I have known to be bullimic, and personally I have never been there.. have thought about it but am too feeble to make myself as I hate it so much!! More than I hate the damage it would do to my body... which is weird...

I am really humbled by the way everyone here is addressing their demons, I believe to recognise them is to overcome them. So we are all doing great!! Nice one gang xxx

[Karenlou]

...everyone here is addressing their demons...

Important to take heart and bear this in mind, I think. We human beings have a bad habit of laying down our burdens and then picking them up and struggling on with them instead of leaving them behind.

Good luck to all of us x

[Lozbo]

Just read all these posts and was so touched reading about everyone else's experiences...and so inspired too!
Not really sure what triggered my weight troubles. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome when I was about 14...doctors told me that it could have affected and carry on to affect my weight. However I know that's not the main reason for my weight...I've been eating too much since I was about 12. Buying boxes of chocolates just for myself and ordering take-away then trying to hide the evidence by the time my parents got home
I was and am still quite active but I eat way too much...being on WW has made me see just how much I would eat!
My turn-around moment came just a few weeks ago when I went to the doctors and we got to discussing whether me and my OH wanted to start a family. At the moment with the PCOS I have big fertility problems...losing weight could help them...and not only that but to be given some fertility help I would have to get down to a certain weight for it to work so the drs wont even prescribe it until you are at a certain weight.
So it may sound really dramatic but I realised that I had to lose weight in order to stand more of a chance of having children. Plus whenever I do have kids I would love to be healthy enough to play etc with them.
Sorry that's quite long and probably sounds confusing but it's helped to write it out.
And thanks to all of you here for being so supportive and friendly to eachother...it's absolutely lovely to see as I don't think we see enough of it!

[smilerjen]

I have been overweight for as long as I can remember! I inhailed my food as a child, my aunt Jean once commented that at the age of 7 I had finished my meal before everyone else at the table!! My passion for food continued into my teens and I would regularly come home from school and make a huge bowl of tuna pasta as a snack before having my tea later!! My sister then decided on a hard love approach (:S) She would look at me in complete disgust and call me a slob, say she was embarrassed to be seen out with me, wouldnt really have anything to do with me at all. This killed me, i was so upset. Yet ironically turned to food to comfort me. (not ideal!)
This continued for years, I would be out of breath running up the stairs in school, dreaded teaching PE cause I knew I would have to run around and hated shopping cause I knew I wouldnt be able to fit into the clothes!
Then one day we went to the carnival and the lady said sorry, youre too big to ride on here we cant guarantee your safety! I laughed it off as i always did and told me friends to all go on! I kept up the front then went home and weapt and weapt vowing that I would lose weight! However, I was doing drastic diets like Atkins and generally deciding just not to eat. Was so unhealthy and everytime I lapsed I blamed the fact that I had no will power and became depressed. Then about 15 weeks ago, i honestly believed that I was going to die in my sleep, i was smoking 20 a day wheezing going to bed and my chest was so tight when I woke up. I decided to give up smoking there and then. After 2 weeks of not smoking I began to believe in myself again and believe that I did have will power. My friend at school had been doing WW and was losing lots of weight, yet she wasnt starving herself and was even eating the occassional choc bar! I spoke to her about it and she gave me LOTS of stuff to get started. ...so I did!
I have NEVER felt more excited about weight loss in my life! I look forward to weigh ins and dont find it difficult to refuse chocs and cakes because I really want to do well.
I am so lucky because I have a wonderful support network at school,my friends are amazing and my mum is very supportive too! My sister phoned me the other day after hearing from my mum that I had lost 2 stone and said "oh good perhaps now I can introduce you to one of my friends" I just laughed it off, we will never be close but at least now I am not gutted about what she says, i just think she is a little sad and I cant wait to see her face at xmas when I walk in, hopefully 2 and a half stone lighter! lol