Lost in my own mind

[striving_]

Hi everyone.. I'm new here,

I know traditionally everyone posts in the new members section to introduce themselves, but I thought I'd just get started.

I need a bit (or a lot) of advise.. my story goes as follows.

I've been overweight most of my life but a few years ago I dropped 4 stones to reach my goal weight, since then I've piled it back on.

I'm 23 years old and I graduated from uni a few years back (same time as I lost all that weight) I found a job within my sector and started working straight away, since then I've found it destroyed my soul so I've now left, and it's coming up to a year I haven't worked.

Now, despite desperately seeking employment, and my savings depleting day by day.. I feel as if I'm stuck in a rut. This coupled with me being painfully shy because of my lack of self esteem (weight) results to people treating me badly, trying to speak to me like I'm a child and bossing me around. It almost happens on a daily basis, it can be something so simple, for example I went to the doctors recently and I went into the room not knowing it wasn't my turn yet, and the nurse shouted at me like and I just sat there going red in the face taking it all.. not a peep, these little things bother me a lot and I feel like a complete idiot for letting others talk like that to me - I dwell over past experiences and beat myself up then I wonder, what could I do to change this.. I also want to lose weight but I don't know where to start.

It just seems like a cycle I cannot break and my thoughts are all over the place at the moment..

I'm an aspiring teacher, because helping others gives me pleasure - but now I'm wondering if I would be able to fulfill that role without the kids eating me alive..

I don't know what I'm looking for I guess just some guidance on where to turn to or what to do really : (

 

[xena]

I have just seen this and can't believe no one has replied yet!!
Please try not to beat yourself up about things! Don't feel guilty about the job thing, I did a similar thing by leaving uni early because I hated it and I had a long time of unemployment and felt so guilty about it. The important thing is to have a plan. In the end I went and did a free computer and book keeping course which I stumbled upon, thinking it'd be something to pass time, and it changed my whole life, now I'm training to be an accountant (which believe me wasn't plan a!) and have a stable job touch wood.
Is there anywhere that does free courses in your area? Or anywhere you can go in the day? I totally understand the pressure but you will get something eventually. Why not see if you can volunteer in a school and see if you like it? If you don't feel up to it now maybe it can be a goal to work towards later.
As for the weight thing you're in the right place! If you want to start a diet plan you should be able to get what info you need online. I've done slimming world which was fab but I've gone into calorie counting as of today, just find something that works for you.
And if anyone is mean to you it's a reflection on them, not you. Prove them wrong! Haters gonna hate! ;-)
Xxx