Katycakes
Stubborn tortoise
I am not at goal yet, so feel a bit of a fraud posting here, but I know I need to do something different to spur me through the last few steps of the journey if I am ever going to get there! I thought a diary for myself - but one that others can see & post on - would help me stay focused!
So here goes...
I have two and a half pounds to go until goal, I started my journey in November when I was at an all-time low and felt that not one part of my life was under control. I was at rock bottom. I feel so different now... I've come a long way in all kinds of ways.
Recently I read that you should be careful about saying you've 'lost' weight... in case the 'lost' weight comes back and finds you! So I haven't lost that 3 stone 8lbs, I have 'shed' it and I don't want it back, ever, thank you. I didn't lose the weight, I worked hard to shed it, but in the process found a few things I didn't expect....
I found an eating disorder I'd never owned up to before, a compulsive eating, binge-eat cloud that had hung over my life for 25 years or more. I cannot say I have 'lost' this yet, but I have been working on it since January and feel stronger and less controlled by it. And there have been no more binges since then, which is a minor miracle.
I found friends, supporters and role models on minis - strangers who reached out to help, to advise, to share, to be there. I could never have come so far without them.
I found that taking control of one part of my life has helped me to begin taking control of other areas, too. I realized I was the one making the choices, all along.
I have found appreciation and thankfulness for my lovely family, and for my friends who make me smile, who understand, who always care.
Hmmm. There's more than this, but that is enough to start with I guess! So scary to be posting on here, and scary to be on the 1000 step... it feels like a lot of food, and like it could all go pear-shaped (like me) at any minute. But CD has worked for me so far, and I am going to make sure it goes on working. Better go get some work done, but I'll be back later...
xxx
So here goes...
I have two and a half pounds to go until goal, I started my journey in November when I was at an all-time low and felt that not one part of my life was under control. I was at rock bottom. I feel so different now... I've come a long way in all kinds of ways.
Recently I read that you should be careful about saying you've 'lost' weight... in case the 'lost' weight comes back and finds you! So I haven't lost that 3 stone 8lbs, I have 'shed' it and I don't want it back, ever, thank you. I didn't lose the weight, I worked hard to shed it, but in the process found a few things I didn't expect....
I found an eating disorder I'd never owned up to before, a compulsive eating, binge-eat cloud that had hung over my life for 25 years or more. I cannot say I have 'lost' this yet, but I have been working on it since January and feel stronger and less controlled by it. And there have been no more binges since then, which is a minor miracle.
I found friends, supporters and role models on minis - strangers who reached out to help, to advise, to share, to be there. I could never have come so far without them.
I found that taking control of one part of my life has helped me to begin taking control of other areas, too. I realized I was the one making the choices, all along.
I have found appreciation and thankfulness for my lovely family, and for my friends who make me smile, who understand, who always care.
Hmmm. There's more than this, but that is enough to start with I guess! So scary to be posting on here, and scary to be on the 1000 step... it feels like a lot of food, and like it could all go pear-shaped (like me) at any minute. But CD has worked for me so far, and I am going to make sure it goes on working. Better go get some work done, but I'll be back later...
xxx
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