Caroline's Diary

Hi everybody!

Thought I'd start a diary thread on here, for a couple of reasons:
a) to try and keep myself accountable
b) because, although I write a blog, I don't want to bang on ad infinitum about weight loss on there, so here seemed a good place!

So, first a bit about me.

I'm 45, and I've been overweight all my adult life, pretty much. The real weight gain piled on after I had my son, who's now 14. In 2007, I managed to lose three stone, taking me to around 12 and a half stone, using Weight Watchers plan but not attending meetings. I'm guessing you know the rest of the story - since then, I've piled it all back on. I regularly start diets, but never have the willpower to stick to them these days, and my relationship with food is just awful - I use food as a comfort, a celebration, when I"m happy , when I'm sad, when I'm bored .... again, I'm sure you all know what I'm on about.

Until now, I've always been very against meal replacement diets / VLCDs, but a friend started the Cambridge diet a month ago and has had amazing results, so I decided that as nothing else had worked, maybe it's time to give it a go myself. I decided to go with Exante for two reasons - I like the idea of 'real meals' (even though I know they're not), and it was a good deal on *******!

Today is Day 2.

Day 1 went OK. I was pretty hungry yesterday evening, but had an early night with a DVD boxset, which took my mind off it.

Unfortunately, the start date I had committed to - yesterday - has coincided with me having an absolutely awful cold (that'll teach me to brag about not having had a cold all winter!), so the fact I've woken up with a headache this morning could be down to the carb withdrawal or the cold, I guess.

Anyway, I've had two paracetamol and am having my morning vanilla shake mixed with coffee while I'm writing this.

Food so far - shakes are OK; veg soup I found a bit gloopy and hard to get down - think I'll try it with more water next time; spag bol was OK, better with a bit of tabasco, salt and pepper. I really like the raspberry crush drink flavouring, too, though I've only tried a tiny bit, as I don't want to rely on that.

I'm a big water drinker anyway, so that shouldn't be a problem for me.

I do have a couple of questions for any experts out there:

1. I'm desperately missing my morning cup of tea - any thoughts on one cup of tea a day with a tiny dash of skimmed milk?
2. Is it OK to have one can of Coke Zero a day, or should I be aiming to drink less of this? I know that low cal fizzy drinks are bad anyway, health-wise, I'm asking more from the point of view of this particular diet.

Any thoughts on these gratefully received.

Have a good day, everybody x

hi

nice to see you on here. i too am a similar age to you and eat for all the same reasons - any!

This does work, i just struggle to stay on it 100% so am going to just take it 1 day at a time this time. Im on day 2 today so it will be good to have someone to talk to on the same path

i do have skimmed milk in my tea, i take the view that i am more likely to stick to the diet having my tea than not and i dont think it does any harm. prob dont drink quite as many teas as i would normally. as for coke zero the same really. try not too drink too many but knowing i can helps. i also drink ribena occassionally as im not a great water drinker but am going to try and up my intake this time

good luck

Hi Susysu

Thank you for replying. Great to have somebody else to talk to at the same stage. We are a similar starting weight, too, I notice!

Yesterday, Day 2, was OK. I am still suffering from a rotten cold, so I put most of the 'feeling rubbish' down to that, rather than the diet. I was less hungry yesterday than on Day 1, but had a bit of mental wobble in the evening, after eating a shepherd's pie which was just horrid.

I've had a cup of tea with a tiny dash of skimmed milk this morning, and it was so nice. Am thinking surely a tiny dash of milk can't hurt.

I guess I've got to look on this first week as an experiment of sorts. It doesn't matter if I don't like all the 'food', I can just have the ones I like (I assume it's OK not to mix it up too much and just eat the ones I enjoy? The shakes are my favourites).

Anyway, onwards and upwards. The sun's shining, and it's Day 3. Bring it on!

Morning all! (If anybody's reading this other than me!)

Beginning of Day 4 as I'm writing this, and Day 3 was a brilliant one for me.

I think the fact that my cold had finally cleared up and I felt so much better from that helped, but other than a few hunger pangs at bedtime, I didn't feel hungry much at all yesterday, and got loads of stuff done around the house. Very positive day, mentally, too.

Other than the shakes, I'm not overkeen on the food, I must say. Though it's not supposed to be delicious, I guess, it's just there to serve a purpose. A lot of the soups and meals seem to have this cloying creamy texture and after eating them, I can feel my teeth coated in gunk - YUCK!

I've ordered some diff flavours of shake and a couple of bars to try from Exante, and also bars from the Slim and Save diet (checked they had similar calorie/carb/protein content beforehand), as they have a more interesting range. A couple of people have mentioned that your tastes change after sometime on Exante, so maybe the things I don't like will become more acceptable to my palate as time goes on.

The water's going down very easily, I must say, and I'm loving the Raspberry Crush drink mix for a little treat mid-afternoon.

Really wanted to weigh myself this morning but didn't as I want to wait until I've done a full week (Sunday morning will be my weigh-in).

Right, Day 4, let's be having you!

Hi Caroline. Your tastes do change a little after a while. I love the S&S bars, much prefer them to exante. Meal wise my favourite is the Exante shepherds pie.

I have started to add 1/2 teaspoon to my cups of tea as was getting fed up with coffee all the time so that may be worth giving a go.

Hope day 4 is going well for you & you are right to resist the scales. You will see a nice big loss after a week TSing x

Thank you, Susy - tough day today, but I've got through so far. Fingers crossed!

How's it going Caroline x

Hi Susy

Going good, thank you for asking. Have decided to stay on TS for two weeks only, as this eating plan is not for me. I'm going to then move to 1 shake/porridge, 1 bar and one proper real food (healthy) meal per day.

My first weigh in tomorrow morning, and I've definitely lost weight, I can feel in my clothes.

Hope your weigh in goes well. It's really motivating when the clothes start to loosen up!

Thank you, Rosey.

So one week in and my weightloss is 9 lbs. I am disappointed. On my first week of Weight Watchers seven years ago, I lost 7 lbs, and the eating experience was a world away from this awful one. The two extra pounds don't feel worth the dreadful sludge I'm putting into my body three times a day.

To clarify, week 1 numbers on this plan would have needed to be up there around the 11/12 mark for me to feel that this level of deprivation to has been/is worth it.

I'll do another week on TS, because that's what I committed to myself to do, but this has not been a positive experience for me overall.

PS I realise I probably sound like a spoilt brat , and I should be delighted with a 9 lb loss (and don't get me wrong, I'm happy that I've lost 9 lbs), but I can't change how I feel, and it's my diary, so there's no point lying!!

Hi Caroline,

I thought I'd have a little read of your diary as we are at similar start times.

Even though you are disappointed with the 9 pound loss you did say you were pleased with your clothes feeling looser. Bare this in mind, it's only 2 weeks if your life and if you take it day by day you'll soon be able to add a meal. You may have another big loss on the next weigh in as well which is a great kick start.

Also knowing how miserable those 2 weeks were may put you off cheating for a while.

Stay strong, in a month you'll feel so much better I'm sure. Good luck xx

Sammysmiles is right you may have lost 7 with we but I bet your second and successive weeks don't match up don't give in and it will all be worth it x

Thanks, all - appreciate you taking the time to comment. x

Hi Caroline, how are you feeling about things now. x

Hiya Susie

I'm great today, thanks - my three 'meals' have gone down with no gagging, which is a great result (one was an S&S bar), and I don't feel hungry.

Bad day yesterday, though - here's a copy of a post I put in my diary on the Exante forum, which may amuse you (it did me when I just read it back!):

"I was away yesterday, and sat through a delicious Sunday lunch (while everybody else ate it), nibbling a bar. I then had the most vile alleged 'shepherd's pie' for dinner with a glass of water while everybody else downed a few glasses of wine and nibbles. Was so glad when it was time to go to bed, rather than thinking what a lovely day I've spent with my family, I've really enjoyed that, I thought, god, that was hard and pretty awful really.

This morning I made my porridge, and just the smell made me retch so I chucked it down the sink. Literally couldn't bring myself to put it into my mouth. Then we had a 2.5 hour car journey, at the end of which I was lightheaded, had stomach cramps and nausea from hunger, and was mentally lower than I'd been at any point so far since starting Exante (and I've had some bloody low moments let me tell you).

So I've just made myself the most delicious ham and tomato sandwich on brown bread, and enjoyed every single morsel. Do i feel guilty? Not in the least, not even the tiniest speck. Do I wish that Exante didn't make me want to cry every time I open a sachet of it? Of course. Do I wish that I wasn't so desperate to lose weight that I've been standing over the sink gagging while I force these 'meals' into my mouth three times a day for the last eight days? Of course.

But I've got to deal with reality, and the reality just now was that if I didn't eat something real, I was either going to stab somebody else or myself (slight exaggeration, but you get the picture).

Well, we can't say it's not an interesting journey ..... "


I certainly find my mood swinging wildly from day to day on this plan. Hoping for another good loss when I weigh on Sunday, and then review where I think I ought to go diet-wise from there.

Sounds like you was really going through it yesterday Caroline. Your'e right to rethink what plan is best for you from next week especially if you cant tolerate the packs & are struggling to keep them down. If you are in it for the long haul you need to be able to at least enjoy the food to some extent. I know when I did LL all I had was the Thai chicken soup for 3 months but after having a month off I couldn't drink it any more as it made me feel sick.

Perhaps you would be ok with a couple of shakes & a low carb meal in the evening. x