So cross....

Had to go to the late shop for a last minute birthday card and cash. Was in a foul mood after a fight and stood in the chocolate aisle wanting to buy and eat anything I could get my hands on and I end up buying cigarettes!!!!!! I haven't smoked for 3 months now, and have piled a lot of weight on as a result but I am gutted that I caved in. The thing that upset me more was that it was lovely
Do you ever really become and ex/non smoker?

Yes, I think it's possible.

I quit about 3.5 years ago, and I consider myself a non-smoker. I don't have cravings, and the smell/sight of other people smoking doesn't make me miss it.

I think the important thing is to get right back on the wagon after a slip-up - not to think "well, I'll smoke for the rest of the day/week/month". If you can get right back on track after a set-back, then you're still in a much stronger position than when you first quit.

Good luck!