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  1. klairbear

    The 'do or die' diary of a dysfunctional darling!

    Thank you again. Had a good day, just had a cheesy veg bake and there is enough left for tomorrow. Have walked more as well. Feeling so so, general mood is low, so staying on track is a big positive!
  2. klairbear

    The 'do or die' diary of a dysfunctional darling!

    Thank you littlemissslim and rae rae for taking the time to read and reply. It still feels scary having revealed so much. However I need to be this honest I think to stand a chance of succeeding. OK so first day has involved the inventive use of basics and store cupboards at least till I get...
  3. klairbear

    The 'do or die' diary of a dysfunctional darling!

    Took a break and reread my post. That is as honest as I have probably been for a long time. It has left me feeling a little scared, and somewhat vulnerable. And for some reason stupidly lonely :(
  4. klairbear

    The Slimming Silurian

    Love the user name, I am a fellow Who fan myself, only 34 days to go!! I look forward to following your plan :)
  5. klairbear

    The 'do or die' diary of a dysfunctional darling!

    Well, I am sure there will be some who remember me. I am ashamed to admit that I am returning yet again. For those who don't, here is a brief introduction. My name in KB, I am almost 32 years old and have been overweight since childhood, when I mistakingly thought food and being big would stop...
  6. klairbear

    Here we go again....for the last time!!

    Your welcome. I have been inspired by you to continue my diary, whcih I found mere minutes ago, so hopefully we can support each other!!!
  7. klairbear

    klairbear's journey - it's going to be a long one!

    gosh! I forgot I started this thread...well in 6 months I have lost weight, not quite as consistent or as much as I would have hoped, but at least it has not gone the other way. Will try and keep this diary up as a further commitment to myself, if anyone wants to chip in at any point feel free...
  8. klairbear

    Here we go again....for the last time!!

    Welcome to minimins! You will find lots of support, encouragement and friendliness here :) I can really relate to your post. I have started and stopped more times than I can count, and although I have had a stressful time it has been easyto blame all that rather than take responsibility for...
  9. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    thank you for your comments, I really appreciate the time you have taken to reply. I feel slightly more positive today. Have got myself a lovely new set of stationary, just for slimming world things - a journal and pen to record my thoughts and feelings, wallets for my food diaries and a binder...
  10. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    well, I am back. Feeling so-so, tail not quite between my legs. Things have been super stressful with mum and work and life, and 'me' took a back seat for a bit, but the time away has made me evaluate what I want and what I need. Got back on the scales and I have lost a few pounds so am not...
  11. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Will I got on the scales...figured it would be best to see the damage sooner than later. And I have had a loss :eek: I am blaming the stress. Going to really try and get back on track this week. Thanks for the continued support x
  12. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    hiya all...not been here in a while....my mum got quite poorly and is now paralysed...looks like my life is going to change. Feel like I have lost control of everything including eating. Darent get back on the scales
  13. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    not been the best of weeks, eating the wrong things but have really increased my exercise...and lost the 2lb so pleased with that!
  14. klairbear

    Mullerlight Limited edition Mint

    was so excited to have one of this, opened the pot and the first whiff i got reminded me of cornettos and after eight...the taste did not....yuk!! will not be having anymore!!
  15. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    2 lbs on :cry: gutted, but if I am honest, I deserved more on. had a rubbish week with work and illness and scoffed my weight in throat smoothers and other comforts. back on plan though, and will have that 2lb off by the end of the week!
  16. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Hi Annie!
  17. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    thanks Susie. I have had a better day. I do write things down but only for myself...maybe I need to publish!!
  18. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    weigh in day....really binged at end of this week...really need to get in control of my emotional eating!!! anyhoo had a 3lb loss which I know I should be pleased with but in reality I feel I don't deserve it :confused:
  19. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    by gum its nippy out there!! feel i may have a warming mug of hot chocolate...shame i haven't any cream for the top of it, but then again that wouldnt be very slimming :D
  20. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Well, i resisted the chocolate! Yay me!!
  21. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    A loss is a loss tho still not happy. And I have toothache too which is really not helping. My neighbour gave my sister a big bar or chocolate as she takes her bins out for her. My sister is a skinny mini and could eat the lot without a worry, but it makes it hard for me cos I know it is in the...
  22. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Weigh in day and 1lb off. Feel half pleased and half disappointed. Hopefully will have a better week, and less emotion!! :o
  23. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Ok, really need to combat emotional eating. Thought I was doing well, but had a horrid stressful exhausting day yesterday and rather than stick to the healthy meal planned I was tempted by the take away. I feel so disappointed in myself this morning, but also have got straight back on plan, and...
  24. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Thanks guys. Have had a good day so far, no real exercise as such but lots of running up and down the stairs at work. I attempted to make omelette for tea but it ended up more frittata ish. Was yummy though. And have made lunch for tomorrow so feeling pretty organised!
  25. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Baked bean lasagne - yum yum yum! Easily made six portions so three of them have been put in the freezer and myself, mum and sister pleasantly full!! I did tweak the recipe slightly by adding the syn free cottage cheese to the top before adding the cheese. Made it much cheesier and so scrummy...
  26. klairbear

    Feel like ive failed :(

    I had the exact same thoughts three days ago, nothing was going right and I ate ate ate. I thought about giving up, but instead (with support of here) let go of the day and got back on plan. And I still had a loss. You will move on from this, don't lose heart or hope KB x
  27. klairbear

    Jazzy January Challenge!

    Shockingly another 7lb off :eek::eek::D 3stonetosexy 10lbs (2.5lbs lost - 7.5lbs to go) Aesir22 5lbs (0lbs lost - 5lbs to go) Amandab 10lbs (1.5lbs lost - 8.5lbs to go) benji55 10lbs (0lbs lost ~ 10lbs to go) Bev1963 7lbs (3lbs lost ~ 4lbs to go) Blue*Smartie 8.5 lbs (0lbs lost ~ 8.5lbs to go)...
  28. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Good afternoon all! Well, due to work reasons and family reasons I have had to change me weigh in day to Sundays. To say I got on the scales this morning with some trepedation would be an understatement! Six days since last weigh in and a big blow out half way through the week, well, I wasn't...
  29. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    I am sure it was aimed at me, she is a right stuck up witch who thinks she is better than everyone else. I used my upset and anger in a positive way at least and went on my sisters cross trainer for 10 minutes. First time for everything and I will try and build up the time.
  30. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    I am really bad at applying positive messages and encouragement to myself. I have extremes of feeling really good and then really bad about myself. Just had a horrible expereince at my local butchers. I live in a little town and the butchers shop is quite small and is always busy. I went in...
  31. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    thanks for the replies you loveleys. I have had a better day today, resisted the crisps at work and have so far only used 2syns.Still have a HEB to use so have a cereal bar I can use for that and hopefully that will take care of my sweet craving!!! Will dip it in a cup of options if need be...
  32. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    well I attempted to rescue my disastorous day and have speed soup for tea, which I ended up burning and so I succumbed to the take away :mad::cry: now feel I have wrecked everything and am asking myself whats the point??
  33. klairbear

    Hiya all, Old Newbie from Yorkshire! xx

    welcome to the forum (from a born yorkshire lass but now living over the border in red rose country (just - please don't hiss and boo, I am lovely really :D) KB x
  34. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Bit of a blip had today... Had a funeral to go to so not a normal day by any stretch. And in the moment I have eaten way too much, and am now feeling like I have scuppered my hard work so far. On the plus side (though it is hard to see one right now, very emotional I am :cry:) I decided I...
  35. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Thank you....really not sure how I managed such a loss but I won't complain!! I am also not complacent that I could break plan every weekend with the same loss. I am treating it as a one off. The next weekend (at the end of Feb) will be a bigger challenge though, as a night out will be...
  36. klairbear

    Jazzy January Challenge!

    I am well delighted having made me target two weeks early (with a 7lb loss), so will try for another 3lb by the 31st. 3stonetosexy 10lbs (2.5lbs lost - 7.5lbs to go) Aesir22 5lbs (0lbs lost - 5lbs to go) Amandab 10lbs (1.5lbs lost - 8.5lbs to go) benji55 10lbs (0lbs lost ~ 10lbs to go) Bev1963...
  37. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    well, weigh in day. I haven't been posting as I have had a weekend away, full board so to speak, with all dinners planned for me....whilst a little worried about how I would manage this I figured I would stick to the plan for all other meals, take lots of healthy syn free snacks and avoid the...
  38. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Thanks for all the comments you guys and for reading my ramblings. I am sure one day that will power will abandon me but so far so good!! Four days on plan and I am itching to get on the scales tho I know that won't be the best idea!!
  39. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Really proud of myself today. Had a run in with someone, really stressful day all in all, and I found myself reaching for and taking a choc from the tub....but then I thought what am I doing?? I am not hungry I am not craving I am just stressed!! And I have power over my stress, not the other...
  40. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Another day, was ok (just ok). Spent most of the day feeling sick (smell of fresh paint being the problem) and ended up having to suck five imperial mints. Ho hum. Still resisiting the chocolates and sweets at work. Had a salad for my lunch, have just had roasted veg cous cous for my tea, and...
  41. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    I love my jewellery so thats a brilliant idea thank you. So first day back on plan, and it was ok. Managed to order a healthy jacket spud for lunch, had lots of fruit and water. A left over tub of celebrations was doing the rounds too and I resisted temptation, having an options hot choc...
  42. klairbear

    Jazzy January Challenge!

    hope it is ok for me to join? 3stonetosexy 10lbs (0lbs lost - 10lbs to go) Aesir22 5lbs (0lbs lost - 5lbs to go) Amandab 10lbs (1.5lbs lost - 8.5lbs to go) benji55 10lbs (0lbs lost ~ 10lbs to go) Bev1963 7lbs (2.5lbs lost ~ 4.5lbs to go) Blue*Smartie 8.5 lbs (0lbs lost ~ 8.5lbs to go) Brother...
  43. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    I have sought help aesir, i had over a year of counselling from a specialist eating disorder team but this ended as they said i needed counselling specific to the abuse. I went for that and they said my eating and health currently needed to be addressed more urgently so signed me of. I feel...
  44. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    ok, first goal set (7lb loss) plus an incentive to get me there. are incentives good ideas? as long as they are not food related?
  45. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Thank you again for your lovely replies and understanding. I really want this time to be the time it works, not just for the added health benefits and better range of clothes but I hope it will (at least symbolically) let me finally let go of the past. My uncle had no right to do what he did...
  46. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Thank you everyone, you are all such a lovely bunch of people, and I am sure I will be calling on your support. I tried group for a while, but clashed with my consultant early on and have never really felt comfortable. So I am going to try online, and will weigh in here too. Maybe when I feel a...
  47. klairbear

    feeling like a big fat failure

    Hello everyone, For what feels like the 16th time I am returning to the forum with my head hung low. I seemed to have started and stalled so many times I wonder why this time should be any different...I always swore I would lose weight and feel great by the time I turned 25, then 28. Well the...
  48. klairbear

    klairbear's journey - it's going to be a long one!

    Ok, one week down, one rubbish crap week, but i did more exercise and managed a small loss. Going to really really sort things out and hope for a better result next time. KB x
  49. klairbear

    klairbear's journey - it's going to be a long one!

    ho hum. not having a good week at all. really stressed with lots of things and of course all good intentions have gone out the window and i'm about to tuck into a takeaway. really going to try harder, i just need to have a sit down and give myself a reality check :(
  50. klairbear

    klairbear's journey - it's going to be a long one!

    And i'm off!! I weighed in this morning, having avoided the scales for the past six months knowing my weight was blooming as my clothes got tighter and the pains got worse. It wasn't a shock what faced me, but I still had a little cry thinking how could I have been so stupid. But now I am...
  51. klairbear

    klairbear's journey - it's going to be a long one!

    Hi everyone, Well I'm back and weigh more than ever :o:cry::eek: But rather than give in and figure I'm meant to be this way, I have decided enough is enough!! Whilst things aren't settled in my life at the mo I'd be stupid to keep delaying (and to be honest, making excuses). I am also...
  52. klairbear

    have been diagnosed with an eating disorder

    thank you all again. i have felt pretty alone for a while and to know that i am not means so much.
  53. klairbear

    have been diagnosed with an eating disorder

    thank you all for your kind words. i was very apprehensive of posting, and wasn't sure if it was allowed due to the subject matter. and i am sorry if this has been a trigger for anyone. i only recently made the connection between the abuse and my weight, and i was completly overwhemled, felt a...
  54. klairbear

    have been diagnosed with an eating disorder

    thank you, i feel in a stronger place than i was though it is miles to go and all that
  55. klairbear

    have been diagnosed with an eating disorder

    thank you all for the hugs and support going to be brave here and tell you something....my eating is linked to my childhood abuse. i thought by eating and getting fat my abusers would not want to touch me, that if i was completly fat and unattractive they would be disgusted and leave me alone...
  56. klairbear

    have been diagnosed with an eating disorder

    Things have suddenly become a lot clearer, all those failed weight loss dreams, why i was binging in the first place. I am still overwhelmed but feel that maybe finally I am on the right path. I am going to be starting therapy soon, and am also hoping that i can get back into slimming world as...
  57. klairbear

    Afternoon of films

    i am watchin the goonies now! love it! i have never seen stand by me, or dirty dancing for that matter! not a sex and the city fan either
  58. klairbear

    Afternoon of films

    i love my films, into all genres apart from horror. i haven't seen any 'new' films recently so anything i recommend you may have already seen. but here is what i would watch if i was having a day of films: bugsy malone - love it, know all the words! chocolat - nicely romantic, not too over the...
  59. klairbear

    i'm back...

    thank you all for welcoming me back! i feel a little relieved to not be the only one who has stalled on their weight loss journey :)
  60. klairbear

    i'm back...

    thank you louise, i look forward to meeting lots of new people and getting back in touch with the oldies!! i am trying to work through things, and like my weight loss it will be a long rocky traumatic and difficult journey, but i am in it for the long haul...and hopefully the support here...
  61. klairbear

    i'm back...

    ...i am sorry i disappeared! i have been gone for a while i know, but i do hope i am still welcome. my weight loss - well, stalled would be an understatment. i have gone through a really tough time the least year. maybe i am sharing too much in saying i hit rock bottom - to the point where i...
  62. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    maintained this week, but hav been quite poorly so wasn't surprised! hope u r all well x
  63. klairbear

    SW Newbie

    welcome to the forum :p
  64. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    i think it is because i haven't stuck to plan 100 percent and have had a few nights out...i am surprised at my losses
  65. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    week three loss 3 lb - i am starting to worry that i am losing too quickly... hugs to taz (((((())))) it sounds like u have had a rough time x
  66. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    hiya my week one and two may losses are as folows: 1: 4lb 2: 3lb week 3 loss hasn't happened yet!!
  67. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    hello! stillnot managing to get on here as much as i want to, but here are my week 3 and 4 losses for april: week 3- half a pound week 4 - maintained (no loss :()
  68. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    ok my april week one weight loss was 2 lb!! prob helped in some way by the stomach bug i have had!!
  69. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    hello all!! just a quick note to say sorry for not posting in so long, lots has happened which i won't go in too...lets just say i have been off track for much or march with a total loss of 4lb (for the month) could you update for me, and i will really try and post more frequently!!!
  70. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    week 3 loss was 1lb week 4 loss was 2lb
  71. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    sorry for the late post feb week one loss: 0 lb feb week two loss: 6 lb taz, can you update please. thanks loads x
  72. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    thank you taz!! can't quite believe i am slimmer of the month!?!? what a great motivational tool this is though!!!
  73. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    hiya, sorry i didn't update my jan results - here they are: week three 4lb week four 1lb hopefully in a posistion to post more often now!
  74. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    my week two weight loss is 3lb, can you update for me?!? thanks very much x
  75. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    Taz, it was half this week and half last - could just put 5lb loss down?
  76. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    can i add my 10.5 pound loss to this now?
  77. klairbear

    my first weeks weight loss...

    ...i'm really chuffed. i know most of it will be from losing water but still.... ....and i haven't felt deprived at all which is not something i have experienced on any other diets... ...and i had a bit of a blow out yesterday and ate too much of the wrong stuff cos i was emotional after...
  78. klairbear

    Hellllooooooooo

    welcome and good luck xx
  79. klairbear

    can someone help...

    thank you!! i tend to get a bit trigger happy with squirty cream so this will be fun!!
  80. klairbear

    can someone help...

    ...me work out how to measure 55ml of squirty cream?!?! having strawberrys and sugar free jelly and fancy some cream! it is one syn for 55ml and i have five to spend ta very much x
  81. klairbear

    any doctor who fans???

    to confirm the time it is 5.35pm
  82. klairbear

    any doctor who fans???

    ...for those who are, they are announcing the person who will be doctor number 11 tomorrow (saturday) on a special confidential at about 5pm ish i am nervous for some daft reason!!
  83. klairbear

    WOT DO YOU TAKE OFF?

    i always get weighed in my jammies!! would have carried on at group to (if i was going) cos it was across the street!!
  84. klairbear

    Saying hello

    welcome! everyone is really friendly here and will give you loads of support x
  85. klairbear

    a pretty big change of plan!!

    MSE is the money saving expert site and forum that is how i felt taz, i couldn't go cos i would just worry all the time! i am doing good so far. Have had a salad, and ryveta with some HEa laughing cow light, and my raison wheats this moring with a HEa of milk. Going to have an activia...
  86. klairbear

    a pretty big change of plan!!

    plus i need all the support i need so maybe the post will be turning up elsewhere too!! :)
  87. klairbear

    a pretty big change of plan!!

    i know pink-chocolate. i am soooo tired and didn't want to type it twice - you will get used to me lol!! i will show my auntie what for, and i am trying not to let her get at me, i will keep at it in any way possible and if it doesn't involve seeing her all the better!!
  88. klairbear

    Dancing on Ice

    i am hoping that the rumor that micheal underwood is being given a second chance is true - i really liked him!!
  89. klairbear

    a pretty big change of plan!!

    thank u taz. i thought about going and sticking it out but it would just have been too much pressure for me, and she would have found a way to get at me she had a go at me at my dads funeral (because i chose to stay at uni) so i can guarentee she would have had a dig whatever happened i'm...
  90. klairbear

    a pretty big change of plan!!

    have read all the literature online, and think i am going to have a green day tomorrow - i have lots of veg to use up so think i will rustle up a curry i am quite surprised on how much you can actualy eat - i didn't quite believe it until i had read all the stuff on the sight i also got a...
  91. klairbear

    a pretty big change of plan!!

    ok, i was all set to go to slimming world tonight, was feeling nervous but motivated and was looking forward to making changes....then i find out my cousin has told my auntie, who also plans on turning up i couldn't go - she is a really mean and spiteful person who has said horrendous things...
  92. klairbear

    jd weatherspoons

    there menu is on the website J D Wetherspoon - Bringing you the world’s biggest ale and wine festivals – Food and Drink hope it helps
  93. klairbear

    Dancing on Ice

    i love the show too!! news of the world have leaked a list of people - usual mix of people am seeing it live again - can't wait!
  94. klairbear

    What am i going to achieve in 2009

    my goals are to: lose at least 6 stone by this time next year start driving lessons go swimming weekly take up a new hobby believe in myself - and be proud of who i am now!
  95. klairbear

    Team FFF 2011 challenge.

    have added my target above thank you!!
  96. klairbear

    Not in a team?

    is it to late to join a team? i am not fussed whcich - you all sound great!!
  97. klairbear

    going to my first group on monday...what should i expect???

    i am a wee bit nervous, but overall determined that this will be a big step in the right direction and definatly a change for the better so what will happen?
  98. klairbear

    time to make a change

    hello ikkle87, i did appreciate your mse post so thank you! irene - my new job is family support as child protection lead in a very deprived community. will be a challenge but i am really looking forward to it!!
  99. klairbear

    Newbie!

    welcome! i am new too and this seems like a wonderful place x
  100. klairbear

    time to make a change

    thanks for all the replies, i am touched x
  101. klairbear

    time to make a change

    Hello! I have been lurking for a while and thought i would say hi! I am starting a new job in Jan (which i didn't think i would get because i am so big). But when i did i thought thats it - you can't avoid the weight issue any longer (plus getting the job was a huge esteem boost!!) I haven't got...
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