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  1. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Have been and will be thinking of you Jennie. I so admire the care and love you have not just expressed to your Mum, but have shown to her in your devotion. Wishing you support and understanding from others around you during the grieving process that lies ahead Xxx
  2. KateF

    Day five

    Hi Nina. Good luck on your journey and really well done on getting further than you have before. I'm doing CD (810) now even though I said I wouldn't do it again because I want to be kind to my body! I'm training for the Great North Run and I think that it's cruel of me to impact my joints...
  3. KateF

    I've done it...

    Hey- well done! Amazing what can be achieved in six weeks. Must be a great feeling.
  4. KateF

    You don't look like a runner!

    I'm a couple of stone overweight at the moment and constantly battling with combining doing a training programme for the Great North Run (I'm now at week 7 of the equivalent of the C25K and have found the thread on here really inspiring) with dieting. I'm also Poet in Residence for the Great...
  5. KateF

    Fit/Fat/Boot Camps?

    Hi, I'm training for the Great North Run in September. I'm about 2 stone overweight and reluctant to try my old dieting tricks in case it disrupts my training. I've just come up with the idea of doing a week's fit camp in July/August to help boost weight loss and get fitter at the same...
  6. KateF

    Determinator is Determined to get to goal :)

    Well done, sounding good. Just to say a little bit more about the Binge Eating Disorder and what your CDC has said. (I'm not good at using the quotes thingy). The counselling that you would be likely to be offered on the NHS would be Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. That's because it's quicker...
  7. KateF

    Determinator is Determined to get to goal :)

    Hi Katie, I've read your thread before and been impressed at your journey, also identified with your struggles with eating. I had to post after just reading what you said about an eating disorder. I'm sorry your Doctor wasn't sympathetic. I've come to realise I'm a persistent Binge...
  8. KateF

    My Before and After (at goal) piccies

    You look absolutely fantastic. Well done. Particularly inspiring because my start and goal weights and height are similar- I'm only on Day 16. Roll on thirteen more weeks or so...
  9. KateF

    Newbie Starting tomorrow

    Personally I came to love only one flavour of CD packet shake- the choc mint- and only then if mixed with a good chunk of ice and blender blitzed. It took me a good few weeks & trial & error to find this out. I also like the Tetras (hot or in a glass with ice) & all the bars (just a couple...
  10. KateF

    The Golden Time

    Sometimes people say your first time on the CD is your golden time. On Day 6 of my seventh or so restart since the three years since that golden time, I now remember why. The first time it never occurred to me to cheat. I was just on it until it had finished, until I was at target, full...
  11. KateF

    seriously considering CD .....

    good luck Sarah. I'm on Day 5. I knew I would enjoy Xmas more if I'd lost a stone or so, and intend to go off for a few days over the season, then restart in Jan when it should be easier as the rest of the world will be dieting too. I weighed up the fact that I really would enjoy Xmas more if I...
  12. KateF

    WAG Princess-A Modern Fairytale for Girls

    Hi, I write poems for adults, not usually for children, but have written this and wonder what age group it may fit. I think 8-13. Anyone got any willing child guinea pigs they might try reading it to if you think it's appropriate? Any feedback much welcomed. I know the ladies of Minimins contain...
  13. KateF

    Sarah (westiegirl)

    Just read the news here. Am feeling so very sad. How strange that you can feel that you know someone though you've never met them. But Sarah shared so much in her diary and her posts. She was one of the most thoughtful readers and responders to other people. She cared and she listened and she...
  14. KateF

    Radio Voices-Part 1

    Today I was Kate Adie in Rocket Dogs. I was Donal Mcintyre without the camera crew and the talking to himself and I was Jeremy Paxman after a particularly uncomfortable day in those Marks and Sparks underpants. No one could see me here in the dark and I was going to uncover the true story. Er...
  15. KateF

    Radio Voices-Part 1

    I wasn't expecting to be Kate Adie, but covering a story about a frog found in a bag of lettuce in Cleckheaton wasn't the complex journalistic challenge I'd imagined meeting on my first day either. "Nice one Dawn" said Simon "IRN are going to use a clip of that interview you did. It's going to...
  16. KateF

    Sudden drop-as predicted!

    I had a little moan on here a few days ago about my weight loss having slowed down. 13 pounds in the first two weeks- then I'd only lost a pound and a half to two pounds in the last ten days. The scales were stuck at 12'12/11. Well- I've kept on glugging the water, and since my official WI...
  17. KateF

    Loosing motivation - help!

    agree you've done brilliantly-well done you for sticking to it. But at under ten stone and 5'6 I suspect your body's not desperate to let go of any more weight with a VLCD. (Generally that's why SSing is not recommended I believe for people who aren't over BMI 25.) I know when I got down even to...
  18. KateF

    Slower weight loss this week

    Thanks folks that has made me feel better. Thinking of it in two week cycles is interesting- never heard that before, but it makes sense. Looking forwards to my next downward shift!
  19. KateF

    Slower weight loss this week

    I know week three is often slow-but I've only lost a pound and a bit between last Thursday (Day 15) and today (Day 21). I know my body may be fighting. I know I'm probably losing inches (well a bit). I know if I'm sticking to SS/+ which I am, it's impossible not to lose. I know the...
  20. KateF

    4 stone gone in 16 weeks! New pictures added.

    Quite right. What an achievement. You look absolutely wonderful. Can I ask how you realised the bars weren't quite right for you more than twice a week? Was it trial and error? I have wondered if I'd lose more without the bars- but I love them so much!
  21. KateF

    Upped water and...

    Inspired by threads on here I have started filling two litre bottles of water and making sure that I drink two of them a day- plus any other glasses I feel the need for. Even though I think I usually drink alot in pint glasses I don't usually measure it- and think I'm drinking more now...
  22. KateF

    Do you think my Husband will notice?!

    Well done, that's lovely to hear!
  23. KateF

    Hooray for CD

    It's moments like this that make it worth it. Two weeks ago just before I started CD I bought a size 16 dress from M and S in vain hope it might look okay. I was spilling out of the top, bulging out at the sides, and in what is quite an elegant, kneee length, velvety stretch dress with black...
  24. KateF

    A Wii weight boo and hooray

    I'm both pleased and frustrated with myself so am just going to have a little vent. I'm on Day 12 of SS. Day one I weighed in at 13'13 on my Wii, this morning I was 13'1. So I've lost twelve pounds in the first eleven days- hurrah! I'd begun to leave all my clothes behind and felt really...
  25. KateF

    The fat is back

    Very good luck Paula! Sorry to hear about your ectopic pregancy- how right your instincts were. And now your instinct to start coming back to life after an understandable time of pulling back from life a bit sounds like it will take you through the highs and lows of SS ing. The great thing...
  26. KateF

    Only 3 stone 5lbs bigger than my bf!!

    Huge well done Lilypop on how well you're doing. Your new photo is beautiful (and what a gorgeous top!).
  27. KateF

    Abi's weightloss diary - post jaw surgery

    I think the dress looks really nice, you've got a great va va voom figure! I didn't have a full length mirror til last Saturday after I realised that one was a factor in my putting on weight in the first place, because I couldn't see it happening. Also when I've lost weight,part of the reason...
  28. KateF

    I'm so disappointed i could cry

    I also swear by ice! Lots of crushed ice in choc mint shake and with all tetras. Yummy. Funny how people's tastes are so different. So many people rave about the porridge, and I'd never tasted anything so horrid in my life. Apart from perhaps the spicy tomato soup... Good luck adjusting...
  29. KateF

    What was your turning point?

    My turning points came all at once early August 2006. I was on a radio show and the presenter was complaining about being fat and overweight and said he was 14 stone. I knew I must weigh about that and he was only an inch taller than me. Then at my thin and beautiful friend's wedding her very...
  30. KateF

    Refresh's Diet Log

    I think you must be strong to have done the fabulous thing of losing four stones in the last few months. And maybe it'll be easier to carry on being strong if you stick at it firmly. Soonest done, soonest finished! Big well done on how far you've come and good luck with this restart x
  31. KateF

    The fat is back

    Gosh, hurrah for you! Sounds like the joy and relief of making a decision and being in control. You already know what miracles three weeks of SS can bring. 12 pounds? I bet you can do it. You look fab in that photo and I bet you still look fab now- but it is about having that feeling of...
  32. KateF

    Newbie...disappointed by my first weigh in after my first week of SS

    Hello! The first time I did CD I lost seven pounds in the first week, but the second time, two weeks ago I lost 3.8 pounds. Like you I was disappointed. I put it down to hardly having eaten in the five days before, so maybe having already lost some glycogen, plus I started my period the day...
  33. KateF

    Second Week WI- hurrah!

    Thanks all! Still feeling good about it this morning. That and an Obama victory. Hurrah, all's well with the world!
  34. KateF

    Second Week WI- hurrah!

    Have been lurking in this forum all week, envious at everyone's losses! I'd stuck to SS+ really well but only lost 3.8 in my first WI. Could have been due to hardly eating in the five days before starting so already losing glycogen, or the fact my TOTM was due, or whatever else. I knew this...
  35. KateF

    CD November Challenge -- More buddies to keep us going?

    Hurrah, at second WI am now 3.2 pounds down...surely I can do the remaining 6.8 in November? Carrying on SS+ for two more weeks anyway, then maybe up to 810 for the next bit.
  36. KateF

    Wanting quicker results

    Hello Shelly, thank you and everyone else. I have good news to report. After increasing anxiety, and grumpy feelings of "hmmph, might as well be doing Slimming World", I have just had my week 2 WI and lost 3.2 pounds! Am so chuffed as I feel I'm on track now and WILL feel different and good in...
  37. KateF

    CD on Pill question

    Thanks Lostris. Yasmin does contain a diuretic, hence making you lose water- but I wonder if that means something about water retention on pill free days? Anyhoo, getting ahead of myself I suppose. It's not WI yet, and I'm just going to keep plodding on as I am on SS+. Just the sooner I get...
  38. KateF

    ok ...... um, before i defect

    Hello! I was just reading your online diary and enjoyed it- made me laugh out loud. Something I did think though is that no wonder you're thinking of changing, because you're finding the CD shakes so horrible. I know it took me a while first time round to find out my favourites, but once I...
  39. KateF

    CD November Challenge -- More buddies to keep us going?

    Hello- Would love to join you. Am aiming for ten pounds off, seeing me nicely back at that lovely eleven and a half stone I felt slim at... Count me in! Thanks, Kate
  40. KateF

    CD on Pill question

    The first time I did CD I had good losses every week. This is my first proper restart, two years later, and I don't feel I'm losing as quickly. I am on SS+, which obviously may be a factor. I'm also on the pill now (Yasmin) which I wasn't last time. Has anyone found it harder to lose...
  41. KateF

    Wanting quicker results

    Well, this won't be a long post cos I just lost one elsewhere I tried to post, but I'm sharing mixed news on the CD front. The good thing was that come Monday I really began feeling slimmer. Trousers that had been tight on Friday now fitted fine- and they're my favourite trousers. Then when...
  42. KateF

    The fat is back

    Yep, I agree! You look fabulous. So often it's a question of timing and it sounds like during a period from hell wasn't the right time to re start. You've basically maintained fabulously. I'm now wishing I'd been kinder to myself about the last few pounds, cos actually I was pretty much where I...
  43. KateF

    before and during photo after losing 2st 8lbs

    You looked fab. What a lovely dress. Well done on the loss. It really inspires me because I've been a size 18, am now a 16 ish, and hoping to return to a 14.
  44. KateF

    Wanting quicker results

    Hi Lulee. Thanks for your support and Welcome to Minimins. I always found it very helpful first time round and have been lurking alot in the last few days getting inspiration. Serena A. Thanks for that. I think from a tight Size 18 to a loose size 16 IS a big difference- and the dress sizes...
  45. KateF

    Wanting quicker results

    Just having a little vent. I lost two and a half stone on CD two years ago and felt ecstatic. I pretty much maintained, at ten pounds or so above my lowerst weight (with two eleven day stints of SS) until this Easter. I then put on a further stone (from hovering around eleven and a half, to...
  46. KateF

    Former CD-er now starting SW..the journey

    Hello all! Thanks for the encouragement and welcome. Emma- there was a huge gap between me finishing CD and starting SW (over a year) so I can't really say. I am finding though that I'm loving being able to exercise and tone up on SW, which I didn't really have the energy to do on CD. I had...
  47. KateF

    Former CD-er now starting SW..the journey

    Hello! I lost three stone ish on CD eighteen months ago. Now a stone over target (well, was a stone and a half til a couple of weeks ago) I've just joined Slimming World. I have my third weigh in on Monday. First week I started on the Tuesday after the bank holiday, even though I knew I'd...
  48. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    More unfamiliar surroundings; a scruffy house on a council estate, takeaway wrappers and cans strewn across the floor, semi darkness, a smell of stale cigarettes and three or four people sprawled nearly comatose on settees and chairs. Andrew is looking for his friend Mark who he seems to...
  49. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Thanks Mandy! It's a very strange story, but good to get it written down. ****** In the next few days I am going to see a heroin addict shooting up, walk past the Chancellor of the Exchequer in the street, commit another bank fraud, have my palm read, feature in “The Sun” and be arrested...
  50. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    After the abortive attempt to get help from Jim’s creepy old associate at the motor show we headed into the next big city of Cologne. That area of Germany felt very grey and industrial and ugly. Road after road of factories and smoking chimneys and warehouses and graffiti. The leaden feel...
  51. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Many thanks Sara. I'm quite close to the end of the writing now and am okay (and in love with a lovely, kind man which helps!). A literary agent's agreed to look for a publisher for this for me and is very hopeful and encouraging about it, so fingers crossed. Just going to keep adding more...
  52. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    These sections are difficult to write. The 32 year old and 16 year old me are so far apart. I read this in the diary I started a couple of months after I got back; “We talked about sex a lot in the car and he managed to drive and grope me thoroughly at the same time”. Then after we’d...
  53. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    I find the right bus for the airport just outside the train station and settle into my seat with a sigh of relief. Each stage in this journey feels further away. Another hurdle crossed. No hand tapping on my shoulder yet to stop me. Checking in at the airport is another stage. Leeds-Bradford...
  54. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    If you're sixteen they'll call your leaving home running away. If you're a 46 year old man, they'll call it leaving your wife, or leaving your family. For me when I was sixteen I was certainly leaving my family. Maybe my real father was running away when he told his wife and son he was going...
  55. KateF

    The fat is back

    Oh dear- how egg-citing! (groan...sorry!) I was just reading through the last few pages of your diary and wanted to say a massive well done! The joy of your journey and the great feelings that come when you're feeling better, getting compliments, and feeling in control, really come across...
  56. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Hello! Just seen this. Thanks for asking and noticing. Yes, am okay on the whole. Emerged back into the "real world" for a bit, so had to step away from this for a while. Will be back. Must say, I'm not as content now as when I was immersed in doing this though, even though it required me to go...
  57. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    That's v weird. Just gone back to my old weight loss diary now, then thought I'd check here. Thanks so much Gen. I'd like to get on with this at some point but am loath to go back to it while I have stuff on in the real world. A few weeks I think. xxx
  58. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Hello! I know this is a bit late night sofa-y, but just to say that I too feel like that! I've had a busy fortnight. Probably the most successful I've ever had work-wise. had nice contacts with lots of people. But tonight, in on my own, feel very, very alone. Sometimes all the flurry and...
  59. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Erm...can't believe I'm the first one on here to point this out. Jokes about Page 3 aside, I do believe it's you who's on page 43 on today's Sun under the headline "Dieting? Not half!" with a half column story about the weight loss! Was v excited to see it. That's Jennie I thought! (They'll have...
  60. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    The success story pictures just brought a moistness to the old eye there! Such a stunning achievement. I remember you first coming on here (can it be a year ago??!!) and knowing you were going to succeed. And how! And well done on the CDC-ship, you'll be great. xxx
  61. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    aargh! cliffhanger! come back soon!
  62. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    "I'm alright" he insisted, "there's nothing wrong". Answering my questions, sounding a bit slurred. Not himself. "I was outside your house" he said, "and someone shot me from the field, it must have been someone taking potshots at your Dad. Someone doesn't like him. Well, lots of people don't...
  63. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    (((HUGS))) too. Both of the things you want to sort out seem to involve asking for some kind of help. You're so independent that it must be difficult- but it really sounds like you're doing the right thing speaking to the PCT early. You pay taxes, you're in the NHS, you have basically a...
  64. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    His voice. Linking me to him. “I miss you” “I miss you” “I wish I was kissing you” “I wish you were holding me” Embarrassment still for me at saying these things, admitting these needs. Jim leading the way, me following. ”Things are bad at home” “Same here” You could almost...
  65. KateF

    The fat is back

    Hello Paula, you sound so positive and excited! The weight loss is a wonderful feeling when it's so rapid. How exotic to be doing it in Bejing! Glad that you've discovered Minimins and can get the support you need at the end of a keyboard. I remember exactly a year ago when I first heard...
  66. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    I also had some other ways to investigate, tentatively, that September though. Before that chaotic summer, when I was sitting on the bed in my room, or actually before going to sleep, I used to sometimes turn the dial on my clock radio from Radio One where it usually was (especially for the top...
  67. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Amanda didn’t say much as usual and I couldn’t really tell what she was thinking. Before we got back on the bus home, I called in at the newsagents in the bus station. They had a note pinned up on the wall outside saying they were looking for Saturday staff. A harassed looking manageress in a...
  68. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Cheryl, Helen, Delli, thanks so much for posting. I know I sound a bit like a english student going "mark my work!" when there's no course or marking scheme. Please don't feel bad about saying you're enjoying even the unenjoyable bits- as a writer that is exactly what I want to hear! (though I...
  69. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Help! I know people are still reading, thank you. You might have read the father story and wanted to know the end. Now I feel like I'm ploughing through the weird bit of a story that really is the middle section of the misery memoir" type book I'm writing. Trouble is- August/September was...
  70. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I want to be like that football commentator years ago when Brazil (I think!) scored; Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are amazing. Well, well done. And that...
  71. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Only one day later, the new term has started. I am wearing a black and grey striped T shirt I bought from Mark One with my Deli wages and a black knee length skirt my Mum had given me a tenner towards. Fulfilling the sixth form dress code we’d looked forward to all through fifth year of “smart...
  72. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Despite efforts by me and my sister to find out and reconstruct it, I still don't really know the truth behind much of what went on from the end of August 1991 until I left home a few weeks later. That makes this next bit quite hard to make sense of. Both as a writer and possibly as a reader. Do...
  73. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Aww..thanks Gen. But I feel like any dysfunctional family survivor has had the same. I'm lucky that I can write about it as a way of both processing it and doing something I enjoy. I was hoping to add in a section about being 15 here but am stuck on it, so am carrying on from the story from...
  74. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Knew it! Well done. Sounds like it's been a really emotional week. Look forward to reading some more of the cathartic stuff. Lol at lawnmower man. Perhaps there's a business idea in a no nonsense type offering to "test drive" men on dating sites, then write them a report on their...
  75. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Just jumping back in time again. This is how we ended up in the house in France that summer when I was 16. This next section just seemed to come out in the voice of my (naive) fourteen year old self and hints at some of the undercurrents in my family. Stuff was already odd back then in a...
  76. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Well actually she'd invited me to go swimming with her and her daughter Evie but I didn't have a swimming costume so she suggested lunch instead. Slightly odd that I'd gone away with at least two months of a summer in a hot part of France near a river with no costume, but pretty indicative of my...
  77. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    In the diary I wrote three months later I said of the aftermath of that discovery in their bedroom "I am shattered. Jim is too jaded to be sympathetic". We went back downstairs then into the grey stone living room of the small house in the French hamlet. Furnished simply with just a settee and...
  78. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Thanks so much for hanging in there everyone. What a relief to have written that. I'm going to change gear now and go backwards in time. I started this thread way back last November by jumpcutting from the point in 1991 where I discovered my parents wedding certificate and hence found out that...
  79. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Yep, you probably needed the wake up call just to let you know that this can happen- but i know that weight will be straight off in no time with your determination. Also shows how important working your way up through the plans is (as I'm still trying to learn!) Blueeyes- hecky thumps. What a...
  80. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    I left a message with the school secretary on the Monday and stayed at Rosemary’s for the rest of the week. I slept until late each morning, had endless cups of tea, read the morning and evening papers sat in Norman's chair and laid the table every night for a meal that Rosemary cooked. Meat and...
  81. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Thank you all so much for your kind words and empathy. It feels like I have people with me now, when I didn't then xx
  82. KateF

    My best mate has died :(

    Yes, so sorry too. It's sad that you've not been able to talk about it- so glad that you're able to come on here. Keep posting. Hope things are going as well as possible at the funeral and that you're getting to cry and let out all the emotions you need to xx
  83. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Andrew comes and picks me up at lunchtime from school. His red salesman’s car in the carpark. We smile and laugh our way to the hospital. His honest, teasing manner is a breath of fresh air. Shooting sideways glances as we drive I study his face properly for the first time. Narcissist again...
  84. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    3rd January 1992 Should I attempt a review of last year’s highs and lows? Highs; Moving out Greece Norman Getting through school Meeting Jean Lows; Jim and all things connected Loneliness School Family. New Year’s Eve backed away from all kissers. Steve was quite persistent but I couldn’t...
  85. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Hello! Great updates. I've just come back from a lovely therapist who made me cry when I realised how much I gave in to things I wasn't comfortable with with a bloke because he seemed (and probably is) nice. I still have the old habits of low self esteem and poor boundaries though so had put...
  86. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    I see Norman's Rover from my window on the second floor and run downstairs. Nerves again, another family reunion. Norman says we'll call in at the pub at the bottom of their road first while Rosemary makes the dinner. I have a Diet Coke as always. "Andrew's really looking forward to meeting you...
  87. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Yay, I sat and read your last few pages while sat in an internet cafe in Kendal yesterday and felt so happy for you. Brilliant news re the BMI. And am so inspired by your attitude to men, dating and Blueeyes. It's as if you've had a crash course in confidence and knowing what you want (which is...
  88. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    My thoughts too. You've done just the right things and aren't a bit heartless. You want someone who is available and balanced enough to be able to interact and communicate with you- the real you. Not their fears of what an intimate relationship might mean for their life (S) or their...
  89. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Bless you, Thanks so much Gen. Must admit, just reading this installment back now....crumbs...it is sad. (But my life is so much better now, thank God!) The only bit that made me sad to write though was the part about the fox. (I still have him though!)
  90. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Another week passes. I go to school, do essays about Othello and the Napoleonic wars, get a turkey sandwich everyday from the bakery on the way home and sometimes fear that Norman will just disappear. But the next Sunday, we’re in another pub, this time with Rosemary again. They both laugh...
  91. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Hecky thumps, into the 11s. Well done!!! Those measurements are great too. You really, really have made a mindboggling change. Re Browneyes; I agree with the others. A key line for me was when you said you "felt sick inside". I have had this feeling (with David the unreliable lawyer for...
  92. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    And now it is Sunday again and Norman is picking me up. Just him this time. It feels right this way round. That it was him and Rosemary together first “no more secrets” he had said, but that now we got to have some time together, just the two of us. I remember wearing a bright green v necked...
  93. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Thanks Kerry. Good to have a fellow Bradfordian on board! I think there'll probably be about eight-ten more installments ish. And Gen, it's not too painful in the actual writing- in a weird way, it's more the thought of stopping. I think though I'm going to try get a move on with it over the...
  94. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    So my father is holding my hand for the first time and I am seventeen. "You're pleased she's got in touch aren't you?" Rosemary had said when he sat in his office holding my letter. "I am" he had said. I can feel that he is pleased as we sit here in the pub. There is more talk and more...
  95. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Hear, hear re the avatar. What a great sunny pic in all ways. You're sounding, as you say, "back in control" Good luck with lodger and leathers and weekend and fun and life. You've come such a long, long way. Maintenance will be here before you know it xx
  96. KateF

    Bellybee's CD Restart Diary

    Agree! 12 pounds is absolutely fab! If the SS'ing is making you sick would you think about the 790 maybe? The plane thing sounds a good incentive for keeping going in some form whether it's pure CD or not- but feeling sick isn't good. Hope you're feeling better.
  97. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Jennie, two things while I'm on here. 1. 11 stone- wow!! I was thinking about it last night and that is how much I weigh. A whole me (and I'm not flimsy!) divested of. I'm in awe of your achievement and in keeping going amid holidays, stress, change etc. 2. Re Lucy. I'm sort of thinking of...
  98. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Thanks Gen for being with me, though I nearly disappeared! Felt odd to write this while my twin brother was suddenly having a crisis about it sixteen years on. All gone completely quiet there now as if it never happened, which is very typical of my family. Will carry on where I left off...
  99. KateF

    New Diary Sections

    Hello! Would it be alright for mine to be moved to Members Only please from general diaries? Tons of stuff when I think about it that I wouldn't want Googled! Thanks
  100. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    I'm in the living room, turning round every few seconds to look behind me out of the window. I see a pale blue Rover pull up across the street. A middle aged man and a woman in it, looking through the windscreen as if they're searching for something. "It's them!" I shout to Jean and sit back...
  101. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Thanks Isobel- so sorry things weren't better with your father. And hi Gen- I've known plenty of houses like the Boswells, and lived in some- but Jean's was more like a house on Brookside Close, if that helps the picture! *********** I only had a one word description of Norman's wife. My Mum's...
  102. KateF

    Russell brand on Jonathan Ross!!!

    I love him too! Don't usually go for very thin men but I love the way he uses words and his randomness and mixture of honesty and vulnerability and lovely eyes and lips and...swoon! Missed him on JR though, must watch the repeat. (Only beaten by David Tennant as Dr Who...another...
  103. KateF

    Happy Birthday Gen!!!

    Happy Birthday lovely Gen! Hope you've been having a good 'un Kate xx
  104. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Sorry to have kept the cliffhanging! Still doing school projects and brain-knackered when I get in. Also maybe finding the next bit harder to write. Onwards though... ********** "Hello" "Hello" Father and daughter speaking for the first time. I am sitting on the edge of the settee...
  105. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    The same dilemma as addressing the letter. How to end it? "Yours sincerely or faithfully" would have felt too formal and "love" didn't feel possible yet, writing to this stranger. The "Yours" wasn't completely unconscious. As I wrote it I was aware of the double meaning. I was his. I was saying...
  106. KateF

    Please hear what I'm not saying

    Gosh, that's powerful, thanks for posting it KD Though it's making me think and I'm in two minds about whether I agree with a couple of crucial points. I think it's just as much people's individual responsibility to try break down their own walls, rather than just pick another person and say...
  107. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Bless , thanks all. (and Helen G- I suppose the good thing is that unlike a book, there's no end to this cos I've not written it yet if you see what I mean!). In the midst of a big school arts project so won't get to update til tomorrow night, poss Friday night at the latest. Thanks for reading. xxx
  108. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    So, back to the phone box again. Time has moved on. It's November 17th now. Bradford was doing alternating grey days and drizzly days and grey and drizzly days in the way that Bradford can do so well. I have the phone number and name of the current managing director of the company my father...
  109. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    :thankyou: ********* The quest continues... Sometimes it hurts to look back at the seventeen year old me, sometimes I laugh, sometimes I think "You daft cow!". At this point in the diary I hinted at something that was taking up alot of my mental space. My english teacher had always been...
  110. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    If someone would that would be great- I'm not sure if they would though- and I'd need all my courage to publish the whole story after keeping quiet for so long. That's why blogging it here is a great way in Thanks for saying so though xxx
  111. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Thanks lasses. It's not painful at the mo. More, illuminating and a weird sort of relief. ********* The power of October 1st... Rewriting my own story? Discovering it maybe. Digressions, digressions. What happened next? I am torn, because I have October 1st 1991 to talk about and...
  112. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    It means alot to have you say that- thank you Mini and Gen. People being with me in the writing is oddly comforting. Though I'm able to do it now because I'm feeling nourished and nurtured in a way the poor seventeen year old me just couldn't have. Feel like I need to have a section about my...
  113. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Thanks all. Feeling glad I've started this again. :character00148: *** Memories are unreliable. Floating images, movies scenes, snatches of conversation, other people's memories, our memories of their memories, our memories of our own memories... So far this story is accurate as I can make...
  114. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Just enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Will be strange not to have your daily updates. I bet you'll feel like a different person when you come back. Sorry about the current limbo-land with S- but keep listening to your gut- it keeps being right!
  115. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    This man in a small airless office in Bradford might be my father. It’s an ordinary estate agent. Photos of houses filling the window. Each representing someone’s ending, someone else’s new beginning. I picture my Mum here in the seventies. Tapping away at an Olivetti typewriter, filling pads...
  116. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Okay, I've been living it, done some long overdue grieving for my real father via the medium of losing K whose meeting I started this thread off with. Time to start writing it again. Thanks for messages of encouragement months ago everyone. I'm sure you're all long gone, but I'm going to start...
  117. KateF

    Happy birthday to KateF

    How nice are you lot?! Only just seen this birthdays thread. I had a beautiful day- friends over, a Dalek cake, lovely thoughtful presents and a nice mix of feeling very young and daft and the grown up of 32. And I love Minimins- thank you!
  118. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    First of all huge congrats on the ten stone!! Second of all, congrats on listening to your body/heart/friends! Your body is saying rest- and you are! (sort of) Your heart is saying that you want a relationship and you're prepared to risk yourself; but you know you want lots of nurturing...
  119. KateF

    Boots No 7 Protect & Perfect - have you tried it?

    Hello! I got it really easily too when I happened to wander past Boots in Bishop Auckland the day it came out and thought I'd see what the hype was about. Been using it since and my skin does feel nice and soft- but it says it takes a month really so I'm waiting for the full effects... (I...
  120. KateF

    Transactional Analysis-Question

    Thanks Nadine, they're good examples. Anyone else?
  121. KateF

    Transactional Analysis-Question

    Hello Lighter Lifers! I'm a C.D person really but have just started reading about Transactional Analysis cos the therapist I'm seeing uses it. I was absolutely fascinated when she picked up on a situation where a "friend" told me she was going for a coffee with my ex. I'd presented it as...
  122. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    How exciting! You so deserve this. You're really inspiring me as well. You've been hurt, you've been through the mill but still retained hope. You gave things a chance to develop with M while suspecting he wasn't what you wanted- and you kept open minded and hearted to someone who might be...
  123. KateF

    Tragic news update

    So sorry Mags. Will be thinking of you and sending healing thoughts. Do keep coming on here. There's support always. xxx
  124. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Sounds like good reasons mostly- though I'm glad you can see in someone else the consequences of TOO skinny. V sorry about Mr Wales. I do think you SHOULD let him know how you feel though- don't hold the hurt in. It's different to saying "oi- my life's ruined cos of you you git". You wouldn't...
  125. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    You look absolutely fantastic- well done!! It'll still take a while to get your head round it- people tell me I'm "a different person" still after three stone, never mind nine...but I've really got used to it now (almost blase). You're an absolute inspiration.
  126. KateF

    Gen's restart... hasn't happened yet!

    You're sounding good and in control and hurrah about WW and your feelings for him! Good luck as SS-ing continues. You're on it it sounds like. And MSG arrgh- the devil's ingredient!
  127. KateF

    Anyone watching SuperSkinny Me: Race to size 00?

    It seemed quite a badly put together idea for one of these shows. Also- very bad message I thought when one of them had a party thrown to "celebrate" the achievement of being size 00. The other clearly had major food problems to start with and still had at the end- as a former journalist I...
  128. KateF

    Gen's restart... hasn't happened yet!

    So glad the therapy's helping make a big difference for you. Getting to know yourself and feeling seen and heard for who you really are is a great feeling- and even better when you get to replicate it in every day life. Interesting about the going on dates when at your heaviest and just...
  129. KateF

    Gen's restart... hasn't happened yet!

    Ooh, a date! Either a pleasure or a learning experience! Looking forward to hearing about it.
  130. KateF

    Boofaloos Diary Thread

    Hi Helen, Just wanted to say don't apologise for feeling low and not wanting to depress anyone- a big point of these threads is so that you can talk about difficulties so you've got somewhere to share them,and put them in perspective (otherwise it would be called "The Happy Dieters Only...
  131. KateF

    Gen's restart... hasn't happened yet!

    Good luck! Sounds like you know the importance of not pressuring yourself cos that doesn't work for you. So enjoy accepting you as you are for whatever you can do right now. xx
  132. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Phew! Tired but inspired reading that! Not been around minimins much for a while, but it's good to catch up with you. You're doing absolutely, absolutely fabulous!! Well done on all those size 16 clothes and the impending weigh in which will herald the fourteens. The job 1/job 2 thing sounds...
  133. KateF

    Gen's Final Diary...Day 19.. Kinda!!?! - cos i'm worth it!!

    and you're still worth it! Hope things are going well with the therapist and the treating yourself nicely. Rome wasn't built in a day though- so don't make not being nice to yourself another thing to be horrible to yourself about- if you see what I mean! Take care Kxxx
  134. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Hello! Nikki, you're so right, the two and a half stone before and sticking to it for ages and ages was a real achievement that most people can't manage. The 60 day pact seems a brilliant thing- a really good incentive. I've asked myself the same question as you about what I can do for...
  135. KateF

    Gen's Final Diary...Day 19.. Kinda!!?! - cos i'm worth it!!

    The depth of your want to do this is sounding out loud and clear. It can and will overcome the bits of you that find it hard. Glad you're still going to your therapist- I bet some of the most productive sessions can come when you feel crappest (as it happens i've just started with a...
  136. KateF

    Gen's Final Diary...Day 19.. Kinda!!?! - cos i'm worth it!!

    I like analysing dreams but that one has me stumped! Well done on keeping going and I hope you have a lovely weekend.
  137. KateF

    Westiegirl: Restarted Day 1 Under my Belt!

    Sending you luck as well. It sounds like you and your Doctor worked together to help you heal- you'd already taken responsibility and initiative by having identified some things that seemed to be wrong- seems like you've got really good insights into how/who you are and what's working for you...
  138. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Huge congrats on that brilliant loss- you are doing amazingly! Well done for sticking to it amid your grief. I don't think getting back on an even keel is a quick or easy or totally always going straight on process, so I'm glad you seem to be looking after yourself while you are healing...
  139. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Hecky thumps Nikki- nice to hear you sounding so positive- FULLY agreeing with Jennie. You do deserve to be told you're beautiful and nice. I think it's a good point about knowing the balance you need with compliments too- basically someone who does it where you know it's real. A mutual, real...
  140. KateF

    I just don't understand men!!

    Hi Anna, It's the two phones thing that sounds most especially dodgy to me. I've been thinking lots lately about why people are attracted to people who blow hot and cold. Apparently chemicals in the brain are released when we're all confused (and they're exciting chemicals), then nice...
  141. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So sad for you Jennie. I know his former relationship was sometimes a shadow over yours. But what you and he had was real and true. I think now that he's experienced the potential for real, safe, full love and honest communication it will be hard for him to deal with less. And for you. I...
  142. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Crumbs what a night you've had. You're going to need to take extra care of yourself over the next few days to relax from the stress. When you're so there for someone (you've been an absolute diamond of a support for your sister) then it's important that you look after you (and hurrah that...
  143. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Hello! Hope you're having a good time and not doing anything too rash..lol! Seriously, hope you feel better soon- let yourself rest if you can- and drink as much water as if you were ss-ing-that'll help flush out nasties.
  144. KateF

    Gen's Final Diary...Day 19.. Kinda!!?! - cos i'm worth it!!

    Hi Gen- Just to say- good on you! Sounds like this burst of energy, structure, proactiveness and positivity is going to whirl you (and your jeans!) forward into even more good change. Your resolve is leaping off the page- good luck!
  145. KateF

    Any advice?

    It's aimed at Northern writers but has some good help sections; Welcome to New Writing North Agree with Curvy Chicken about reading more- and also joining a writers group if you could. If you could work up to it, writers groups are full of people who are quite shy but express themselves on...
  146. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    I got derailed. These explain why. Apologies for non-lovers of modern poetry! Late. 1 As if each page on a calendar is the entrance to a time machine, I waited exactly a year to write about you for the first time. It took fourteen years before I was ready to conjure my father up...
  147. KateF

    Westiegirl: Restarted Day 1 Under my Belt!

    Really moving, thought provoking, well thought out stuff. So glad you've come to some of those realisations, and that you've shared it here. Just wanted to say good luck. The work of sorting out self esteem seems never ending but has many pay offs along the way as you're finding. You're...
  148. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So sorry Jennie for your sadness about your Dad I hope writing helps- you conjured up that awful day so well. Feeling so sad for you. And, at the same time so chuffed re Mr K and the 6 stone loss (and you got told you're beautiful cos you are-easy!)
  149. KateF

    Westiegirl: Restarted Day 1 Under my Belt!

    Hi Sarah, was just really nice reading about your growing confidence and impending date with J. I wanted to wish you luck! It sounds like some really important things in the type of relationship you'd want are in place. And whether now or in future, knowing what you want so often seems to be...
  150. KateF

    Gen's Final Diary...Day 19.. Kinda!!?! - cos i'm worth it!!

    I can hear your determination! Sounds like you will lose the weight because you're not losing sight of the goal, and, as you say, it's just a case of finding out which is the best way (and trying to figure out what's that pesky inner obstacle that's delaying you? are you afraid of thinness...
  151. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Sad about the people around you's bad news.Life's something to be grabbed while we can isn't it? Glad that you're looking at SS-ing again. You did so well for so long- I know you can do it again. I'm feeling like a bit of an Evangelist for counselling at the moment but- do you think there's...
  152. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I'm glad you don't too- you don't deserve them! Glad things are feeling better. You and Mr K sound like you have such good tools of communication. Amid the uncertainty of lives, pasts, fears, projections, hopes, what ifs and maybes, there's nothing like the honest talking of two people who are...
  153. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Oh, Just caught up with you now. Sending healing vibes to your friend and to you, because GEM and the history of hurts are all about things that haven't healed really and one of the best ways of them healing is in a secure, committed, loving relationship. And you and Mr K have the...
  154. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    And...how gentlemanly that he was watching you and ready to step in and save you before even knowing you. Just what you need- a nice considerate man. Hope you go out and have a lovely date...ello, ello, ello etc!
  155. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Happy Birthday! I wish you an entire year (and more) of being nice to yourself, continuing to make good changes, family love, the love of a good man, nice biscuits and good bags and dresses. Kate x
  156. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Just dropping in now to say I got goosebumps and moist eyes reading the story of your lovely date. Am so happy for you. You're a lovely person (I can say with some authority having met you now!) and this all just sounds very, very right. Enjoy.
  157. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Have a good last day at work! You have a lovely Christmas and rest- you really do deserve it. You've done absolutely brilliant with this diet and with taking bigger steps to assert yourself- here's to even more after christmas (and judging by the blokes after you from all angles, yes you...
  158. KateF

    X-Factor - can't believe it!!!

    Hmmm....no way, my way, ray... Simon C seemed genuinely proud. Bless. Though I shed more of a tear when Karen on Strictly Come Dancng cried tonight when they got three 10s...
  159. KateF

    X-Factor - can't believe it!!!

    Think the single's been written for Leona to sing and perform. It's no way for Ray I'm afraid and I think Simon and the other producers and judges know that completely. Agree about Leona being sort of blank eyed though- but she isn't when she sings. That's when she seems to come alive.
  160. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Must have been posting while you were and not realised it was last night- well- yep, my post now looks like a prediction! Sounds like you dealt with all the attention in style- good on yer!
  161. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    You're doing great! Have a lovely night out tonight- flex your feminine power and revel in the fact that loads of blokes will want you-but you're only interested in ones that are going to be nice to you and value you for the fantastic person you are. And skinny size 10 jeans- wow! I can but gasp...
  162. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Hecky thumps! Just seen the gallery pictures- how different and how great you look!
  163. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Hi jennie- Just to echo all the messages- TOTM definitely plays a big role- and you've still lost inches. Scales are just a number-it's fat loss that matters and you're doing absolutely, amazingly brilliant. I could tell from the beginning of your diary that you were totally determined and were...
  164. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Beautiful dress and you look great in it!! I'm glad that (even if a bit begrudgingly!) you can admit to seeing a difference. It sounds like loads of people around you are as well, very much so, and I hope that'll help it sink in even more. You're so going to be fighting blokes off in that...
  165. KateF

    Gen's new Diary - I'm outta here now so happy xmas to you all!!!

    Hi Gen, Well done on the nine pounds-does indeed sound like you're in the zone! On this miracle diet, then under 12 stone or near as damnit is possible by Christmas I would think. The dream sounds fantastic- what a step forward to have been able to ignore those destructive people- and for...
  166. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Just dropping in. Think you're doing brilliantly- a big massive WELL DONE on the weight and dress size and I'm so glad you're sounding positive. Can't wait to see a photo of you in that Moschino dress. Your perserverance just shows how determined you are-despite all the obstacles, you're...
  167. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Good luck back on the sole sourcing Nikki! The gym sounds a brill idea too-though take it gentle... Personally found back on SS a relief after going off it-but am well impressed you only put 2 pounds on the other week anyway.
  168. KateF

    Why do you love CD?

    I love CD cos I'm impatient and loved the quick results. It tastes nice. It's completely given me the figure and face I've been happiest with back. I feel like a success because I've been able to stick to it. I don't like cooking or choosing food so have actually enjoyed lots of the last nine...
  169. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    That thing of looking at other people and trying to get a more realistic idea of your size and self from them is a great idea. Agree with Vicky- hurrah for large chests! (Though it sounds like your issue is more with a feeling of having been appreciated too much for your boobs by blokes who...
  170. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Bless you. By coincidence I also used the phrase "crap, crap, crap" in my last post. It's good to get anger out! You're doing so bloomin brilliantly to have resisted that stew after the day you've had. Your Eric sounds lovely but it was understandingly frustrating that he couldn't be...
  171. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Gosh, Isobel's post made me nearly cry too! Agree with every word in it. First off; You're really pretty- that does come across in the photo (though I don't remember you being quite so grey in real life, lol!, and I'm glad it helped you really see the difference in you) I'm full of admiration...
  172. KateF

    What do you wear in bed?

    Bed- was nothing, but being cold of late it's pyjamas with sort of cardigan-y pyjama top. Would feel v odd to wear knickers in bed for some reason. Hospital- hmm... would probably do knickers but no bra too, and the pyjamas. Loving the Leonard Cohen quote btw, other Kate. I love him.
  173. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    It really does sound like you need a proper rest and recuperation. And please, please don't beat yourself up about finding it hard going at the moment. Being ill is horrible and your body's crying out for more energy. Out of the entire rest of your life gone and still to come, a few more dieting...
  174. KateF

    why can't I edit my diary?

    Yes- I was just about to post a shout about that! Want to change my title to the more attention grabbing "into the 10s"- though after Weigh In on official scales in an hour that may be buggered up!
  175. KateF

    LETS TALK ABOUT .....S*E*X!!!

    Loving this thread too. Would also love even more to find an actual available man to test out some of these theories with! Kazz-I'm now feeling a bit better though- at least I haven't got the potential obstacle of an island separating me from a soulmate! (and everyone being related, that's...
  176. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Hoping you're okay and resting. When you feel tired and ill and rubbish, it's totally normal to feel like giving up and eating. You wouldn't be human if you didn't. You really have come so far though-miles and miles further than most people who start CD though. Thinking of you today-let us know...
  177. KateF

    Goodbye CD <> hello 'Fat Smash Diet'

    Good luck being back on the wagon. Sounds like you're doing it in the right way by 790-ing. As a binger this week myself, I think sometimes the only way we can really, really learn what we're sensitive to is to have a big old lapse. Like a little test of ourselves maybe. Glad you're posting on...
  178. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Oh bless you, you sound like you feel bad, but this blip will pass. And that's what it is-a blip. Funny our parallel lives continue because I was just coming on here to post about a very bad eating day. Also down to emotions that I'm trying to repress I think. The dress will still look beautiful...
  179. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    You're doing great-well done on having cracked the 11s pretty much. I think the weight loss comments hold a "and therefore you look great" tag as part of them unsaid cos people assume weight loss is good. I've had "you look good on it" comments only really when people have talked about CD and...
  180. KateF

    My journey. Onwards and upwards CD > SW

    Hi Gemma- You're doing brilliantly and sounding so happy about it. Good on you! Sounds like you're doing a kind of cross between ss'ing and 790 and that it's working for you. I'm now on 790 before going up to 1000, as I've hit 25.1 BMI and am reflecting on how much easier 790 would be for...
  181. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So sorry Jennie. Just been catching up on your diary- what a sad day. Hugs and pink thoughts. xxx
  182. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Glad you're back SS-ing and happy about losing again! You do seem to have alot of saboteurs around you what with being forcefed coke, wine and tuna wraps...fight them all off, cos you're going to win! Dunno what to say about the bloke. I wondered why I didn't know (usually have too many opinions...
  183. KateF

    Nats diary

    Just wishing you all the very best Nat. You could break that 12 stone barrier in 2 months or less if you keep on CD-so hopefully with such a positive attitude, a good CDC and, of course, a Minimins diary, you'll be able to do it. In fact-I think you WILL do it!
  184. KateF

    Hubby has just left......

    Just adding to what everyone else has said Lisa- It sounds like you're so strongly ready for transformation, and that you might have to do it without all the support you would like and deserve. I hope things work out with your husband in whatever way is best for you and wish you loads of...
  185. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    The marriage certificate. I'm leaving that dangling at the end of two sections. Do I think I'm an episode of Eastenders ending with the "Dum dum dums"? In itself it wasn't very earthshattering. My parent's names, the date of their wedding anniversary...and the year. Not 1973, as they'd always...
  186. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Or is that a bit melodramatic? Probably. Ah, but remember what it was like when you were sixteen and hormones were racing and Bryan Adams' "Everything I do, I Do It for You" had been in the charts for sixteen weeks that long, hot summer of 1991. You didn't want anything to do with your...
  187. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Gosh-I'm exhausted by proxy just hearing about all that cleaning- Don't worry about tomorrow-remember Isobel's scales are magic...well...sometimes...
  188. KateF

    Cheb....Too old to get home with the Dawn Chorus!

    Lots and lots of luck! Also-did you know Halloween is traditionally a good time to get rid of old stuff-cos it's a festival of death (in a good way) so cos you're involved in a party, you could see that as a symbolic death of not SS-ing and getting ready to be reborn into it the next day...
  189. KateF

    Guess who bought size 14 jeans today..ME !!

    Well done you! Great loss of weight and great gain of shopping options!
  190. KateF

    Finding Fathers; Dangerous world

    Introductory Note; The story of me tracking down my real father was beginning to creep into my weight loss diary. I've decided to start it in this section because it'll give me more freedom to write it properly. Also, the blog format should help me do something I'm trying to see if it works...
  191. KateF

    People's reaction to me losing weight

    Hi After a three stone loss so far (including a stone pre-CD from August) I'm now getting lots of good comments. However, two women, who happen to be two of the most competitive women I know (and who have both lost weight themselves in the past) did more what Skyzie described. Asking how...
  192. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    I bet you could aye, that's another two months and a bit away. The aims things are really good-and moving the goalposts further away when you've reached one. It's brilliant isn't it that you wanted to be a size 14 by Christmas but you are now!
  193. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Glad you had a good time! Poo about the coke though. As you know really- the diet is not ruined!! Drink lots more water and peppermint tea than you normally would tomorrow. So glad to hear you actually saying something good about your appearance-I'm glad you're starting to see what other people...
  194. KateF

    Advice needed from you lot!! :-)

    I think you should go for it too. You may convert more potential dieters and it doesn't sound like the sort of show where they'd want to humiliate you.
  195. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Hope it's going well. Good on you on the new clothes- and on not being swayed by the mechanic. You sound pretty in control at the moment I think.
  196. KateF

    plans to cheat

    You don't have a Borders bookshop near you do you? They often have Starbucks in, and the atmosphere is really peaceful at night.
  197. KateF

    weetabix and ss'ing

    Sounds like not SS ing but doing 790 might help then? Would have thought weetabix are too carby- and a psychological craving. If you were on 790 you'd have a meal at that danger time of 7-8pm.
  198. KateF

    Really let myself down!!!

    Ziggy- I think you did so well to only go for strawberries and coke zero and to go straight back on the diet again. Please don't obsess about the scales. They can stick for all sorts of reasons- water, poo, TOTM, just random things. As people have said, if you're sticking to it now, and drinking...
  199. KateF

    Bruising?

    I was going to post about this a while ago. I think I'm bruising more easily but had wondered if I was imagining it.
  200. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Ooh. Not sure- not noticed the lining up thing before! lol. It's not bad for parking round there I don't think too.
  201. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    But how much better that it's packs not food!- Good on you, that's an impressively restrained binge. How about the Hyena Comedy Cafe on Leazes Lane if you fancy some comedy? It probably is a good night cos laughing together's very bonding. www.thehyena.com The comics on this week are all...
  202. KateF

    Yorkshire meet, 17 Feb, whos up for it??

    Hello Yorkshireians! I'm originally from Bradford- well, Keighley, then Queensbury and Eccleshill. Lived in Newcastle for most of the last eight years but come down to Bradford every few weeks to visit my step mum so would be well up for a meet.
  203. KateF

    My journey. Onwards and upwards CD > SW

    Hope the meeting goes well. Well done on the loss even in AAM/TOTM week- bet you have an even better one this week as the water retention and whatnot goes. Re tea- I missed it so much at first. I've found that very weak (brewed about 30 seconds) green tea can taste quite like normal tea with...
  204. KateF

    *^~Boofaloos Diary Thread~^* Day 1 going well!!

    Sounds like you've made a very good choice for you. I'll definitely be looking in for 790/1000 calorie recipe inspiration (and to live vicariously through hearing about people eating actual food!) Enjoy.
  205. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Ooh- good luck with the date. I'm rubbish on date venues- but my instinct is saying-go somewhere you wouldn't normally go to (but would like to) and do something you wouldn't normally do. That's a good theme for you right now. Poor puppy, hope he feels better soon. Sounds like the injections...
  206. KateF

    Biggirlsam

    Glad she's okay Sam- and just a big well done on getting to day 104-that's absolutely amazing! I suppose we usually have time to get used to big physical changes, because they happen more gradually- so no wonder you're having to get your head round being a 16 (and by the time you've done that...
  207. KateF

    Journey to a healthier me!

    Ooh-just looked in on your diary for the first time. Loving the exotic view of CD from across the pond-and also your stunning hair! Well done on going so well.
  208. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Sounds like you're doing brilliantly on the positive thinking front- and it's nice to hear you're looking in the mirror and really "seeing" yourself now. Hope the hunger pangs have gone-maybe bump into you tomorrow at Weigh In. Just off to catch up with my diary now and have a very mixed...
  209. KateF

    My husband ---Bless him

    What a lovely thing to have said. In fact, just the right thing. That inspires me that relationships can happen with caring, supportive, considerate men!
  210. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Yay- glad you came and you looked absolutely great in the boots!! Wish you could see that you're really attractive and an asset to any bloke. Not that that one deserved you to be. Boo to him.
  211. KateF

    What made you feel good today?

    Lots of people who hadn't seen me for a month exclaiming at how much weight I'd lost. One of them saying "we were worried about this diet but you look all healthy and glowing". Trying on a size 14 jumper and jeans in Next that fit! (though didn't buy them). Being 11 12 and a half on the scales...
  212. KateF

    Been craving fish and chips for 3 days now....and had to succumb...

    Must confess I too have been craving fish and chips and with this thread title, was probably hoping for a vicarious acount of their loveliness followed by a reassuring self-flagellation for giving in. Instead i got inspiration. Well done on only going for a bar!!
  213. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Well done on the four pounds and general thinness! Thought bloke would be asking you back soon- good- cos it'll be a good test. Your realisation about being in love with who you wanted him to be rather than who he actually is sounds like a good one. Wishing you a good sleep and sweet dreams of...
  214. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Also- I can understand how you can't face food- but at least keep getting the peppermint tea/water down you in volume so you don't become dehydrated.
  215. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Hang on! You've got loads of determination and personality and openness to new experiences from what I can see. You're sticking to this diet (when the vast majority of people who start a VLCD stop, we just don't see so many of them on this board-would love to know the statistics), you're a...
  216. KateF

    Can you add any fruits to your shakes??

    Is this the random counsellor with the boxes of other diet products in her house ?(forgive me if I'm getting what you said about your CDC mixed up with someone else!) If so, I think you should report her- she's clearly giving very, very bad advice.
  217. KateF

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Loving your work! Hope things are going well still. You sound so determined and full of the vision of a new you- I know you're going to do it. Enjoy the date, I'll be looking forward to the up-date!
  218. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    PS; bet you anything loads of Dorothy Perkins 14s fit you.
  219. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    So sorry you're having a poo time at the moment. Boo to that rubbish bloke. Mind- don't doubt the bits that were real actually were real. What you felt and what you knew he felt for you wouldn't have been a lie- the other women were about him being rubbish at committing and having his cake and...
  220. KateF

    Book Club

    Just bought this book today in Tescos so would love to join the discussion when it happens!
  221. KateF

    Poem For Today

    Small Girlfriends He treads on them by accident, they slip behind the settee, they can't see out of car windows and they're lost in a crowd of three They're his small girlfriends, compact and neat, but I'm 5 foot 7 with size 8 feet. He'd to rescue one from Toys R Us when she nearly...
  222. KateF

    KD Rambles, including Grandwitch thing

    I'm loving your work too! Isobel directed me here before. It's very rare I think to see writing that's able to be both funny and poignant at the same time (and full of such beautifully mad detail). I run writing workshops- and would be telling you to write a book too if you were in one of them!
  223. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Well done on the 3 pounds! We're living parallel lives in a way with our 17 pound losses and similar scales and varying degrees of Kate/Kati-ness in Newcastle with Isobel as CDC! The Asda mug sounds like a lovely treat for now- and the choc flake a treat for a time not too long in the...
  224. KateF

    Biggirlsam

    Hi Sam, You're doing great! Just wanted to say that looking at girls is normal I think (or it's just me too!). Comparisons are a great way of learning what we want and like ourselves- so keep looking I say, it's probably easier for us than it would be for a bloke anyway! Also- re...
  225. KateF

    Bellybee's diary - Momentus decision made

    Big luck being wished! Am a few weeks off 790'ing myself so will be interested to see how it goes. Sounds like good losses still happen. Big, big well done as well on overcoming the escalator fear, losing all this weight and getting into a size 18!! That outfit with the boots is lovely too.
  226. KateF

    This is me!

    Four jobs I have had in my life; 1. Tarot line operator 2. Airtours entertainer 3. Newsreader 4. Journalist Four movies I coulld watch over and over 1. Before Sunrise 2. Clueless 3. Cousins (Ted Danson/Isabella Rossellini) 4. Before Sunset Four places I have lived; 1. Newcastle 2...
  227. KateF

    New Photos

    Yep- just to add- stunning! Very inspiring. I love your hair and the top too in the after ones!!
  228. KateF

    Biggirlsam

    Lovely to read all that Sam. What a hard time you've had, and good on you for fighting through and losing all this weight. So glad you've got to grips with the technology and look forward to reading more about your journey. Kate x
  229. KateF

    some advice needed

    Even if this week is a slow week you honestly are doing really well so far. Bet you anything if you had a friend who'd started on SW or WW at the same time as you, they'd have lost HALF or less of what you've lost now. Upping the water sounds like a good plan though.
  230. KateF

    My journey. Onwards and upwards CD > SW

    That's brilliant! Resolving to still have a social life sounds like a good decision, so you won't feel deprived and can also pick up the lovely compliments that come your way! It's funny about weight loss on the face isn't it? I was told for the first couple of weeks people could see it in my...
  231. KateF

    10 is almost 10 well 11.1

    That is so inspiring! So happy for you. Well done on all counts. I agree so much with you saying "If we want it we can follow our dreams and have the world" The wanting it is crucial isn't it? You obviously really wanted to be slim and really wanted to have your dream job- and now you do, good...
  232. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Have a brilliant night out- you deserve it for all your hard dieting (and mothering and other) work! Good on you for going with the dress- and for deciding to go somewhere different. Sounds like you're ready for some new horizons to open up for you anyway. I'm suddenly in questioning mode...
  233. KateF

    Made a HUGE decision

    Seems really logical to me anyway that the method that suits one part of your weight loss journey might not suit another part of it. VLCD got you off to a brilliant start of 6 stones lost (big well done) and now you've come, through experience to realise that WW is the way forward for the rest...
  234. KateF

    Day 14 - What have I done!

    Brilliant stuff! At this rate, that two stone for Christmas goal is looking very, very good indeed!
  235. KateF

    Yippeee they fit at last

    Very very well done! I do find Marks and Sparks clothes tend to be quite a bit smaller than other ones on the high street too- so that's a particular achievement!
  236. KateF

    Not enough said about 790!!!! Its fab!!!

    Well done Sarah!! Also, thanks for posting that. I've looked at the 790 and thought that I could probably happily do that as maintenance and to take me down to 10 stone (because I won't be able to ss after 11 stone) and it's really encouraging to hear you can still lose on it, but also get to...
  237. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    yay on the 11s and on sounding so positive! Knew you could do size 14s- well done on the skirt as well! Interesting how Atkins has only led to half the loss that you've had. I have wondered about it a bit, since I love bacon, but it sounds like the Cambridge is the right decision.
  238. KateF

    Just had a arguement with X hubby and now I have ate half the kitchen

    Sorry you've had such a bad time, sending positive thoughts too... Was wondering- if there was a way to do a low carb version of SW/WW? Sounds like you would really benefit from the support of a group and the structure that a definite (but flexible) plan would give you at the moment. All...
  239. KateF

    Cait's Diet Diary

    Ahh...big chocolate bar...*sighs wistfully* Well done on the half pound- and good luck with the experiment!
  240. KateF

    stomach pains

    Yes- I got a slightly pain-y stomach when I started having bars- though it was also totm so was hard to sort out which was which. It did feel more like though when I had bad indigestion once. It wasn't as sharp a pain, but was in the same area, so I concluded my stomach must be a bit perturbed...
  241. KateF

    4th week weigh in

    Well done- chuffed for you! Have 4th week WI in five days, hope I can do as well as you!
  242. KateF

    Ok here are my before and afters!

    Crumbs, you look lovely- and hugely slimmer. Well done.
  243. KateF

    my diary ~ no more CD for me

    Hi Kati- It was lovely to bump into you- it was a bit like meeting a celebrity with only having seen you on the forums and then you being real!! Glad you're feeling better about things. I've just had a spate of tiredness too- but am feeling better again now and realise I had been quite...
  244. KateF

    I am Officially Overweight

    Yay for overweight!! Well done on all your hard work so far. It's a much nicer word....closely followed by normal as an even nicer one!
  245. KateF

    I know "crash diets" are bad but....

    Hi Cait- I was on Slimfast for a few weeks before the Cambridge. I was hungry ALL the time. Now, on a third of those calories I'm rarely hungry (some hunger pangs mind, or an awareness of an empty tummy) but rarely that gnawing, craving hunger of other diets.
  246. KateF

    Debz32 - Week 12 WI & SS Question for CDC (help needed)

    Well done you! That's just showing how consistent weight loss can be on this. Looking back at your thread, noticed your disappointing TOTM week- I lost just 2.5 pounds in my second week 2 days before my TOTM- but, fingers crossed, touch wood I'm shaping up for a three (maybe even four???)...
  247. KateF

    At TOTM is this normal?

    Hi, On the whole having a good CD day- wearing clothes I've not worn for ages, had my first lovely, lovely choc bar. But now- I'm feeling, as I did last night, since about 3pm, quite weak, a bit light headed and starvingly, starvingly hungry. I've had 2 foodpacks so far today, haven't...
  248. KateF

    How Far Are You From Goal?

    My story has some similarities to yours Dizzy. I'd piled on another stone over the summer taking me to somewhere above 14 stone. I'd already added three stone over the last three years and felt out of control with my eating, but that I'd never manage the long, slow slog of healthy eating and...
  249. KateF

    Starting CD Today - Would appreciate your support throughout

    Hi beentheredone that. Good luck! I'm 18 days in and have found ICE to be my saviour- making slightly yukky shakes nice. Also, I think my tastes have changed and I'm more used to them anyway- in fact really look forward to all my foodpacks now, instead of just tolerating them in the first few...
  250. KateF

    Sorry TMI Green poo

    I sometimes wonder what that Gillian Mckeith would say about my CD poos. She gets very cross about ones that smell horrible.
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