Search results

  1. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Starting all over again... Again... Not really sure how to begin - suffice it to say, I've regained almost all I'd lost & feel utterly miserable as a result. Shed loads has happened over the years and I can't believe it was 8 years ago that I started the original journey ... But here I am...
  2. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I've not run away, yet... Just got no energy to do anything. Hopefully got an interview this week but right now I just keep crying and sleeping. Diet has gone right out of the window. I seem to have lost my sense of humour too... I'm just a fat miserable, moaning mare!
  3. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Feeling dreadful tonight. Feel utterly rejected by employers, agencies, so-called friends, and my chap and my family. He hasn't spoken at all to me today and I had one text around 10.15 am which just said 'morning' and another a few minutes ago, saying goodnight I'm going to sleep! I wouldn't...
  4. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Where to begin.... will try not to be too drepressing, so will get the negative out of the way first... Shrek's mum dying has been awful. It brought back all my feelings and memories from when my darling mum was ill and dying and after.. so terribly, terribly sad. Then, just as I'm kind of...
  5. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Yet again, I must apologise for lack of updates... It's been a hard few weeks.. Very very sadly , Shrek's mum died and it's been awful. Long story which I won't go into just now, but it's been a tough time. Diet out the window, work stressful, live life- Pah! Utter sh1te... I find myself yet...
  6. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, I am logged on using my phone so will be fairly brief as my fingers are too podgy and my eyes too tired to type much tonight. Re-started back on CD yesterday after spiralling out if control in November and piling back on a whole freaking shed load of the weight I'd battled to shift in...
  7. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I'm back... it's been too long. So much to say, but sadly my laptop is defunct so I have to be brief this time. I'm still alive.. still heartbroken about mum.. such a lot has happened and I'm not sure where to start. For now though - just a brief 'hello', and I will be back on a regular basis...
  8. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    At last, Virgin Media appear to have got their act together and I can, once again, get on t'internet on me laptop! Will update fully later as, whilst it's dry outside I must wash Hattie. Day 15 today and down 16lbs (I think).. Dr signed the form so it's all systems go 'til I get to where I...
  9. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, never let it be said that I don't listen... I have just ordered some Slim and Save bars, soups and meals. Not too many, just the ones I think might taste best. If I like them then I shall do the switch and save myself over £60 a month plus petrol too! Although I'm not sure how much the...
  10. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I've never heard of this S & S thing?
  11. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, I didn't get out on Hattie but instead have sat indoors watching the heavens periodically opening and closing... wishing I had gone out though around 6pm as it's been lovely since then... still... I have decided that I will get up bright an early in the morning and go out for a ride then...
  12. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Mmmmm, subs Oh, no, you don't mean that ... lol Well, I met my new CDC and she was ok. I didn't really like her very much, nothing specific, perhaps it's because I've been where she is, I've been the one to dole out the advice, take the money and hand over the stock. I just felt like she...
  13. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    You guys are the best, thank you. xxx No sooner back here then Virgin-crappyservice-Media crashed and no internet! Still, it's working now so fingers crossed! Day 5 now in the big fattie house... and despite knowing what a head *&^% it is, I've been jumping on the scales every day - but am...
  14. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, I am back... Day 3 for me now and my determined head screwed on well and truly. I'm a very unhappy person right now and feel just about as low as ever. I was made redundant on July 3rd having just returned to work after 3 weeks off sick with depression linked to the death of my mother...
  15. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Lol Gen - you do make me smile , thank you. There is a bit to fill you in on with RB,... lol I try and keep FB posts as upbeat as I can... it's only really on here that I can be truly me.. if you know what I mean. FB is all well and good but it's a kind of "mask" at times.. although I don't...
  16. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Sorry to have been so quiet on here.. things are such a muddle. I have been up and down more than a whore's knickers... There is so much to say, and I really don't know where to begin. I can't believe it has been just 8 weeks since mum died. Some days it feels like a lifetime and others as if...
  17. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I've run away... well, not quite, but almost... by Friday I was a total wreck and thought in the middle of the night I was dying! I had sat up going through bank statements and what I saw upset me so much I felt physically sick... so, no sleep Thurs night and I took myself to the Dr's surgery...
  18. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Sorry it's been a while .. So so much has gone on. House cleared now - well, almost. My iPod fell out from under the sofa so that was something to smile about. Am back to work but got a stinker of a cold so , soaking in the bath as I type and going to bed soon. Car still crammed full and house...
  19. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Flowers.. done by my sister ... I think they are stunning
  20. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, I did it.. I got my head into gear and finished the "memories frome the grandchildren" thing and it's going to be fine.. I'll be fine... I have to read the final poem of the funeral "She is gone"... it is the one I read at my nana's funeral and, 2 years ago on the 23rd, at my darling...
  21. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Remembering today my darling stepdad in whose arms my mum is now... he died 2 years ago today... so.. not long to wait to be back dancing to "Spanish Eyes" with mum... Very very stressed out right now, headaches, nausea and palpitations.. I know it's because mum's funeral is tomorrow...
  22. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    can't believe it has only been a week... feels like a lifetime already... lots to update but it will have to wait... *sigh* .. doing loads... sleeping little.. thinking too much... crying too much... eating too much...
  23. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    My heart is in bits.. I didn't want to fight and kept saying so, and that we should be doing things together, jointly, not fighting.. it's upset me so much. She isn't speaking to me now. It's just horrid. All because I wouldn't let her go to the bank on her own - and, when we got there I was...
  24. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Massive argument with sis this morning - don't think our relationship will survive it. Horrible, horrible, horrible... and all because I insisted that we go to the bank together... *sigh* as if all this isn't hard enough...
  25. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Thank you all.. will try and update later - my darling mum passed away at 12.23pm on Friday November 4th 2011 We (sis and I ) were both there. Will write more another time. Hard times right now, but glad for mum it is finally over.
  26. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Here we are, Thursday evening and mum is doing a very convincing impersonation of a set of coffee percolators! I have to joke as it is too terrible to do otherwise.. the vicar had sat with us all night and bless her, said she will come back if I need her to. Sis is not able to bear seeing and...
  27. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Placido Domingo serenaded mum into Wednesday (yesterday) and when he had finished I put on the Mamma Mia soundtrack album... opened the curtains, told mum what the weather was up to and the birds on the feeder (although not sure what they were!)... straightened her bed up and washed her hands...
  28. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Later on sis went out to fetch more meds and I dashed up to loo, and the phone rang! I could hear mum making this horrendous noise in an attempt to let me know… it was a piteous sound and I felt so bad.. I had simply forgotten to pick the phone up on way to the loo! It was one of her friends...
  29. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Disaster in the middle of the night/early hours of Tuesday! Her pump driver alarm went off and it stopped working!! I rang the nurses and they came straight out and fixed it.. I was so upset at the thought of mum being in pain.. but they explained that she still had plenty of drugs in her...
  30. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Monday mornings are historically crap anyway but oh boy, this one has to go down as the crappiest ever! Mum woke early and fancied some melon! So, I gave her a slice to suck on as she cannot chew.. she loved it! So much so that she had another slice later she had a funny look on her face...
  31. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So – Sunday continued… the visitors began to arrive… her friends of over 30 years were first to arrive and spent the longest time with her.. they have known me since my teenage years and I adore them… it was so sad to see them upset as they left… they were very brave in front of mum but when...
  32. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    lots to share - mum still hanging on in there, but not wanting to... can't remember what day I last updated about.. think it was Saturday morning, will have to scroll back and have a butchers... back later with update as sitting on sofa watching mum sleeping...
  33. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Mum continued to be sick until all that came up was disgusting black poo-smelling sick - it was so upsetting for her.. (and not a hell of a lot of laughs for me and DD either! lol)... we kept swapping bowls so she had a clean one all the time and wasn't face over a nasty bowl of vomit...
  34. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Bless you, yes, already done that - we are having communion this afternoon and also mum has asked that I call her vicar when her time gets close as she would like her here...
  35. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    No sooner had sis and fella left but mum started to be sick - she kept saying she wasn't being sick and it was just wind, but that was exactly what happened Thursday night too.. and I had a fair idea of what was ahead.. first came the yoghurt... then the soup.. and then she seemed ok again.. and...
  36. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So then it was time for tea and strictly.. sis and crew set off to get fish and chips and I told them we would be eating upstairs as not fair on mum to all sit and eat in front of her.. mum said she would like some soup and she opted for carrot and coriander,.. bearing in mind that for breakfast...
  37. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    when they left it was so so poignant... we all know the next time will be mums funeral, and it will be soon.. as they left we all went outside... C gave me a huge hug and said "we love you guys so much, you know that right?" and I cried and told him we loved them all too and asked to please pass...
  38. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    ... awake again... mum still sleeping relatively peacefully... 6.37am now.. so where was I? Oh yes.. waiting for my daughter to arrive.. well she arrived and I was thrilled... we had a huge hug and then she came in to say hello to mum, who promptly said "you're doing my nails - varnish is on...
  39. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Made mum about half a cup of her usual green tea (blergh) and left it on her bedside cupboard (which had been brought downstairs for her)..and I tidied up the kitchen a bit... then, when her tea had cooled enough, she tried to drink it.. not good.. her hands were shaking and she couldn't...
  40. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So now it was Saturday morning... and although ridiculously early, I felt a lot better for the sleep.. I lay in bed trying to hear if there were any sounds from downstairs.. I sleep with door open so I can hear if mum drops buzzer and cannot yell.. I was nervous of coming down the stairs as...
  41. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I had no sooner done this update, taken food upstairs than mum buzzed for me... she had slid down the bed and was in pain so I rang her neighbour and between us we managed to move mum into a better position where she got comfy enough to settle again.. her neighbour is SUCH a darling.. Mum...
  42. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    well, mum is asleep at the moment and has been for about 2 hours now so I think I am going to risk taking some food upstairs and maybe lay down on the bed and see how long it is before she needs me... love her, she is still snoring, lol... although, as you can imagine, it's a different kind of...
  43. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I had just finished washing mum when the hospice nurse arrived to sort out her pump driver... then the district nurse arrived with her sidekick.. both nurses (somewhat confusedly) are called Jackie! lol (same as mum's visitor in the morning too!!)... anyway - I cleared away the towels and...
  44. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    where has the day gone? It is a blur of nurses and bedbaths and phone calls and visitors... To try and make sense of it.. I promised mum a really good wash so, that's what I gave her.. several bowls of hot bubbly water and a lot of urgh-ing and shunting, bless her, and I had her clean from...
  45. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    One of the most incredibly touching things about all this is Charlie, mum's adorable little dog - he never left the room all night and is curled up on a mat by the bed where mum can see him now... love him, poor little thing knows.. he knows... he isn't eating.. he is just being with her all the...
  46. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    so, at about 3am mum had been injected with morphine and more anti-sickness stuff as she had been sick again as soon as she used the commode... poor love... the nurse was wonderful, I cannot praise the staff of Iain Rennie enough.. they are so so good. She was here for well over an hour...
  47. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Not sure what to say or where to start really... got here yesterday afternoon to find my sisters children and grandchildren here, was nice to see them but was glad to see them go. It was too much for mum but she loves them so I am glad she saw them. I was told that I would have to clean the...
  48. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    it's just gone 3.15am and I am finally going to bed... mum loads worse and now on a morphine pump.. will update properly later when, hopefully, I shall have had some sleep... been a very tiring and traumatic day... my poor mum... they reckon a week, maybe 10 days is all now... love her.. it's...
  49. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Thanks Zilla... I don't feel like I've got much strength but what I have is being used in too many ways.. lol I can't wait to get to mum's tomorrow... and hopefully bring a peaceful atmosphere with me... am going to dig out some meditation type cds to take with me and see if mum would like to...
  50. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Had a very long conversation with someone yesterday who told me that my late stepdad deliberately didn't leave my mother his house (which was worth almost £1mill) because he didn't want my sister to have his hard earned money and all that he and his late wife had worked so hard for... and he...
  51. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So, it's now Wednesday and I was late for work (only 20mins in the end)... because I was so tired I didn't want to get up.. lol I got a text from sis to say mum had a brilliant night and was in great form! This really is a total rollercoaster ride... so I had already texted mum as I won't...
  52. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I spent pretty much the rest of Monday in tears... until mum rang me later in the day.. that was good. I also rang the hospice at home nurses and had an update from them. I explained the family "dynamics" and how my mother is so controlled by my sister now it just isn't even remotely funny!! I...
  53. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Monday continued... sis rang and said that the reason they hadn't told me about mum's leg was "we didn't want to spoil your weekend".. argh!! What part of "I NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON" do they NOT understand?? Mum rang me later in the day and sounded pretty upbeat! I asked how her leg was...
  54. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So - Monday (yesterday) and here I am sending a text to mum saying how, if she's up to it, I will give her a shower at the weekend and how much I look forward to seeing her.. and then my sis calls me, on mums phone... she tells me "mum is very down today, she asked me to call as she doesn't feel...
  55. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Saturday and I had a list that was so long I could paper a wall with it! I had to bake for Sunday, clean, do MY washing and housework, bike club paperwork, stock counting and prepare stuff for AGM, empty car, load car with merchandise, etc etc etc... I managed to get most of it done before my...
  56. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Every day has felt like a month since leaving mum... however, on the way back on Sunday night, having battled through the traffic on both the M25 AND M1, I met up with an old friend at Toddington Services. I shall call him RB. RB and I were an item 31 years ago when I was 16 and he was 18...
  57. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    ok, having had the rant and suffered a week of criticism it is almost Thursday and time to go back to mum again - it can't come soon enough for me!! I hate being away from her... Got there Wednesday and the bed had arrived, we moved things around and finally got it in the perfect position...
  58. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    sorry not updated but am so tired... loads to say but too tired... mum now permanently downstairs... sis constantly criticising me.. i feel like a zombie... news on the lovelife front!! also on the Mr Misery front (told him he's to move out when mum dies).. sis still ripping mum off...
  59. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    It gets better... she also has paid to fill the damn thing with petrol!!
  60. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Just popping on very briefly - will update properly tomorrow... but.. I am seething! Mum has given her car to Sis's boyfriend at last but instead of signing it all over to him she has ADDED him to her insurance policy AND given him the car and signed the paperwork but not dated it!!!! I am...
  61. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Wednesday has arrived and I have a whole mixed bag of emotions and thoughts running through my head! I have been up for hours - decorated my daughters very special birthday cake, muffins for the neighbours and G (renaming Mr Misery with his initial as quicker and he IS noticeably less miserable...
  62. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I baked my daughter's cake and some muffins and fairy cakes too last night.. I didn't get the same enjoyment from it that I usually do. I am decorating them tonight... this afternoon (after work) I am off to get my eyebrows waxed and then get rid of all the damn grey that's pushing it's way...
  63. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Another day dawns and all I can think about is mum... last night in my dreams there were fights and arguments with my sister and her kids.. I woke up very early this morning and feel shattered. Yesterday was such a busy day... after work I went to Waitrose and bought mum some more bedding -...
  64. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Monday again... at work and not entirely useless... been cracking on with things here and have asked for Weds as holiday now - I just cannot physically fit in everything that has to be done otherwise! There really are NOT enough hours in the day! Today it's work, then mad dash home to...
  65. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Mum and I watched Smokey and The Bandit this afternoon and that was lovely, although very uncomfy as the chair is a dining chair but it's the only way to sit with her in her bedroom... she was a much better colour and didn't need additional morphine as she is very comfortable in bed.. I am...
  66. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Good morning... I had a rough night but mum slept like a log, lol I've got a stinking headache but at least all the housework is done, washing done, my bedding washed, dried and bed remade ready for sis.. in fact, she has nothing to do when she gets here.. so should be happy. Plus, the...
  67. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So ends another long day .... mum got comfortable and slept for hours, whilst she slept I cleaned.. the house is spick and span again, just how she likes it... I sat and watched "Strictly" with her.. I can't abide Bruce Forsyth so that really IS a trial.. lol.. but she loves the show and no way...
  68. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, that was an unprecedented disaster... poor mum was in agony so we just sped round the supermarket, left the shopping, and I brought her home and got her settled in bed.. *sigh* she was so upset and disappointed.. she couldn't cope with the car journey (less than a mile) and sitting in the...
  69. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So, Saturday has arrived and mum is, once again, in pretty good form - despite the pain last night she almost slept right through and, thankfully, she took the extra morphine to help... at last she appears to have accepted that morphine is her friend and ally. I understand her hesitation to take...
  70. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    You're very welcome and, trust me on this,. crying is good for you.. tears are cleansing most of the time... and, I think, they stop your head exploding! lol I don't know if you have any faith or belief but if you do, lean on it, draw strength from it, use it to help you cope. If you don't...
  71. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Hi Miss C Welcome - I totally understand where you're coming from. As if a person's age has any bearing on the sense of loss or sadness! It's terrible as most people will ask you the age of the one you love... when I say mum is 76 I get the "well, it's not bad"... and I want to scream! Not...
  72. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I don't mind at all - welcome to my world! lol and thank you, that's kind of you.. Well, it's been a busy morning and now, as mum is back in bed snoozing I'm going to have a little siesta myself I think, before her next visitor arrives at 4.30pm. Her friend came this morning and I nipped out...
  73. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I thought so... today has already been a real heart-tugger... We both had a fantastic night's sleep and boy do I feel better for it! I told her that I ought to move in as I sleep best with her than anywhere else.. lol We both laughed.. and I said how much better I felt and she commented that...
  74. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Is this how it's going to be? A rollercoaster? Mum being brilliant some days then crashing to worrying if she will survive the night? (question aimed at Pandora .. lol ) I just wondered...
  75. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    thank you Cheryl xxxxx and for the big snuggle hug Gen .. I had a rotten morning at work - I realised I hadn't sent in my timesheet for my wages this month (payday is supposed to be tomorrow) and when I rang them and asked if I had sent it in and she confirmed I hadn't I just completely broke...
  76. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Paul,s weight loss journey

    Hiya Sorry not dropped in for a while... you know how it is... Well done on another 2 gone! Soon be there! xx
  77. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I feel so sick today it's just not funny - have a banging headache and nauseaus... am sure it's just tiredness and stress, but really feeling ropey... can't even remember what I was going to drone on about yesterday, but ended up going home early and going to bed... Slept a bit but the kids all...
  78. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Can't believe it's Wednesday morning already - almost time to go back and spend some more precious time with mum. Well, it's been a really tiring week so far - I haven't managed to sleep all that much as having bad dreams and belly ache - yep - TOTM arrived early (again) so that to deal with...
  79. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Hi Well, what a weekend that was! Mum got progressively sicker and vomited all over the place on Sunday and couldn't stop... not even keeping water down and constipated too (which I think is one of the reasons) and so I called in help in the form of the hospice at home nurse and she was...
  80. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Just had a tearful conversation with mum.... she apologised as she thinks she is going to need me to help her go to the bathroom in the night - I told her it was no trouble at all... and that I am off to bed soon anyway... and that NOTHING is any trouble ... she thanked me for looking after her...
  81. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Thanks Ruby - mum's not in pain tonight , Morphine is an amazing double-edged sword... no amount of stick on pads would help I'm afraid.. if only they could..
  82. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Another tiring day - I have cleaned the house top to bottom, vacuumed, polished and just need to wash the floors - all mums bedding stripped, washed, dried and back on , all the clothes washing done and dried, baked 2 tea loaves (mum's recipe), and also made some leek and lentil soup (new recipe...
  83. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    well, we have had a very relaxed day, but, by the evening mum was in need of more morphine again... the damn thing is spreading across her back now and the only place she is truly comfortable is her bed.. we talked about that tonight and she is thinking about moving downstairs.. but the whole...
  84. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    sorry for not updating sooner - mum's asleep right now .. I got here yesterday afternoon and heard mum say "is that my baby" when I arrived - made me mega-smile... oooh it's SOOO good to be back here again with her... she's heaps better and after sis left I brought in the sunflowers I had...
  85. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Can't believe this! Mum is worse again this morning! Sis has a nurse with her now - I just don't get it... how can it be that she is fine when I say g'bye on a Sunday afternoon/eve and by the Wednesday she's had all manner of problems and tests and now is sick and needs the nurse out to her...
  86. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, I spent all my time at home yesterday sorting out paperwork (piles of the stuff) and seem to have even more than when I started - despite half-filling the recycle box! I realise how important it is to be organised and have everything 'in order' and am going to make sure that, should...
  87. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Almost time for sis to come and me to go... *sigh* Another lovely relaxing day with mum. I did the washing and ironing and the took all the recycling to the centre and did a little bit of essential shopping this morning. Massaged cream into mums legs, feet and hands and then gave her a...
  88. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Another lovely day today - very relaxed and chilled out. No visitors, no shopping, no appointments... I set up the dvd player from home and, after breakfast and a snooze, we sat and watched Rango on the telly downstairs... I made her a light lunch of assorted cheeses and chutneys followed by...
  89. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    well, a MUCH better night last night - woke several times but that was ok as went back to sleep pretty quickly - apart from around 4am... mum in good spirits but wanted to shower and was saying how tiring it is for her.. so.. I suggested she sits and I wash! We worked it all out and sussed it...
  90. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    There's no way mum will even consider a commode at this point... but thank you all for your great advice :) xx
  91. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    What a terrible night! lol Asleep lovely and early - awake (first time) at 10.45pm... fell back to sleep pretty fast then weird weird dreams... involving turkey soup with dumplings, big party, lots of folks who I dunno but who, in the dream, were clearly great friends, dancing, singing, boats...
  92. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    well, diet already out the window! lol not been here 2 hours and had "naughty" stuff!! blah! Mum in great spirits now pain gone again (hurrah for morphine I say!).. and the steroids mean she has her appetite back again too.. so that's good... Cunard have called and have promised a FULL...
  93. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    what a rotten night! I got up ages ago as not slept properly... still, at least I am up to date with the bike club accounts now, and orders, and all the relevant paperwork.. Got all the cake tins except half a dozen, returned to their owners,... bins emptied,.. washing on.. dishwasher loaded...
  94. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    well, having put a comment on the Cunard page on Facebook I have had a phone call and they are going to "look into it further" to see what they can do, but no promises made and "it won't be a full amount as there will have been administrative costs already incurred for the booking"... like I...
  95. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    to be honest I love doing my bike club "shops" just won't go to the local meetings at the moment as the nasty piece of work there is such a cow... HWSNBN is taking the cake tins and will collect the others so I don't have to go... so, instead, I am going to get the accounts up to date tonight...
  96. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    finished the cake, it's ok - will add pics later, at work but cannot seem to concentrate on anything... trying to get on with it all... bike club orders all done and up to date.. have remembered to tax Hattie and might just take her out this afternoon... but am so very tired all I really want to...
  97. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Sorry about this morning - just having a really bad day today and can't wait for my younger daughter to arrive for a big hug! Been busy all afternoon baking birthday cake for HWSNN's Great Auntie's 100th birthday - will put pics up when done.. hope it will be ok - its a bit overcooked but...
  98. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Hi Sarah Ah, didn't realise you had such a useful son! Lucky thing! Sorry to see you lost your dad so recently - life sucks! I'm exhausted - cannot believe just how tired I feel right now (and look!)... I am making the most of every second I can with mum when I am there and send her texts...
  99. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Got back home Sunday evening - am so tired. Mum was in great spirits when we left. So much to say but limited time as at work now and got so much to do. Am utterly knackered. Mum now on increased morphine as pain reappeared and in force! Lots of thoughts. Lots to do. Plenty to think about...
  100. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Hi Sarahelizabeth If you want to see a copy of your mother's will etc you can apply for one - anyone can - to the following address: HM Courts and Tribunals Service, Postal Searches and Copies, Leeds Probate Registry, York House, York Place, Leeds, LS1 2BA. All you need to do is provide them...
  101. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Thank you all for your lovely words and encouragement.. and advice too.. I have had little contact with sis today and I even put mum off calling her at one point saying, let her have her weekend without worrying.. and I just sent her a brief text to update her whilst we were at the hospital...
  102. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    After breakfast this morning mum and I had a lovely long chat... we talked about all kinds of things, including her funeral plans and she asked to have her ashes scattered at the same place as she had scattered my stepdads.... she asked me if I would have Charlie for her.. that's her dog.. and I...
  103. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, its been a really good day.. mum had a great night's sleep last night and the sun shone today.. and we talked loads. She's been eating today and drinking too. I broached the subject of her finances by saying that as sis and I both had power of attorney and I hoped we would never have...
  104. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    We both have power of attorney but mum is well enough right now to make decisions - but - I am utterly convinced that something dodgy is going on and I don't know who to talk to or what to do about it...
  105. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I got here and am fizzing with frustration... I asked sis if mum was in "sorting things out" mode and she took 2 seconds to tell me she is helping her to re-write her will!! PLUS... there is NO sign of the bank statement for August... despite my requesting one for her... so where is that? AND...
  106. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Paul,s weight loss journey

    excellent stuff Paul!! well done :)
  107. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Argh! Talk about Chinese whispers!! I just chatted to the Hospice nurse who has been looking after mum... 1. She thinks it will be a lot sooner than 6 months 2. She did NOT suggest respite care 3. She HAS asked mum where she wants to die and she has said at home 4. She has NOT said mum will...
  108. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I feel so rotten at times too though as he is falling over himself to be helpful - and to be honest, he IS being helpful... he dogsits and he fetches and carries... but I thank him. Always. He is going to be taxi for my daughter this weekend as I am with mum and daughter is coming for her best...
  109. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I have a feeling that my sister's friends will probably same the same to her about me... as I am sure she will be saying I am constantly on her case for information... but the truth is, I am not... the most I have ever texted her is twice in one day... and that was because something had...
  110. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    it's horrible and I do NOT want to fall out with her but she is making it so damned difficult!! All I ask is that every day she lets me know how mum has been and what's gone on... I would ask mum but she has made it so that I can't! I wish I lived there... I wish I could be there... I wish my...
  111. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    what a day.... mum was told today that she has less than 6 months to live, doubtful even 3 ... it's awful.. bless her... she is being so brave.. I can't wait to see her tomorrow... I had a massive row on the phone with my sis before she told me.. and I told her I really need her to keep me...
  112. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    not sure how to begin this one so will keep it brief - blew the diet out of the water over the weekend but back on track again now.. brilliant weekend but a real low point at one time.. beayatch of a woman said something to upset my daughter.. anyway - will explain more another time.. partied...
  113. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Exhausted - baked 400 fairy cakes, a victoria sponge and an apple and olive oil cake... decorated all the cakes, typed up the treasure hunt/scatter rally, printed out 150 copies, did photo sheets too, all collated and ready to go.. Now all I have to do is type out the answer sheet, sort out...
  114. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I am SO crap on this damn diet at the moment! Have done nothing BUT eat junk so far since getting up at 6am... have done more washing and vaccuuming etc too and of course got mum her breakfast - delighted she actually ate it too!! Am taking her to get her nails done this morning hopefully...
  115. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Paul,s weight loss journey

    Excellent!! Well done you!!! Am hoping for something similar this week too! (well - I have to be optimisitic now and again.. lol) xx
  116. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So, I have reached my last night at mum's until a week on Thursday and I feel so sad... I am going to miss her when I go home and wish I could stay but she is adamant I go and also, my sister wants to be here just as much as I do.. I do worry how she will cope for 10 days straight... Mum...
  117. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Just nipped to the shops whilst mum sleeping... got some roast turkey breast and salad and am going to have that... really struggling not to blitz the biscuit box!!!
  118. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Dear Sarah I am so sorry to read about your Dad... I know how it felt to lose my father, and my step-father.. and I am so glad you had that opportunity to get close. Thank you so so much for your post... it is good to know that what's happening is "normal" if you know what I mean... we have...
  119. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Emotional afternoon... mum broke down and cried... said how she wanted it all to be over but was trying to carry on for me and sis's sake.. it was so so sad... she said she has no appetite and is only eating for us.. because she has to be strong for us.. I broke down too and told her I couldn't...
  120. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    ahhahaha... no thanks!! I sit in utter admiration of those folks!! I am going to have a try at that coffee walnut battenburg next time though and have got all the ingredients here at mums ready for it! lol looked really hard though .. might make a tad more of the filling than she let them! lol
  121. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Blueberry and Orange Muffins... and Victoria Sponge (given to neighbours).. I sliced it but gave them that slice too.. lol Soooo wanted to trough it but resisted... really HAVE to try to stick to packs when here.. but some days it's harder than others...
  122. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Pictures of the Almondy Fig Tart I baked for mum (I did have some too and OMGoodness!! I am SO going to bake this again sometime... but ONLY if there are at least 5 or 7 others present to stop me scoffing the lot!!)
  123. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, post-dinner update... Mum didn't want any dinner but I tempted her into having a small dish of curry and rice, and it was really small, but she enjoyed it so much that after she had some almondy fig tart with vanilla icecream! Yay! Her colour improved almost immediately! She is utterly...
  124. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Hi Kitty - yep stress definitely does affect us differently... Mum had a bad night last night - not helped by noisy party across the road with fireworks and a 2 am finish.. still.. I kinda like that life goes on and folks are partying.. but not how it affects mum's sleeping. Have been baking...
  125. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    What a day it's been! I'm knackered but very happy... mum has had a good day, but again she looks very pale and is very tired.. I think I may ring the hospice nurse for some advice tomorrow as sis is talking about reducing mums morphine as she thinks that's making her more tired! I'm refusing...
  126. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    PS... got to the bottom of why nephew is living at sis's house! He has fallen out with his girlfriends brother and wanted him and g/f to move out and rent somewhere together - she's not ready to leave home yet so he was going to rent a room somewhere... so... THAT is why he's living there! I...
  127. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Bad chest last night - those damn flowers! Mum said she could smell the lilies still and to throw them away - I've not told her about how bad my chest is.. so was glad she said to bin them.. Woken this morning with what appears to be a flippin cold! Hope not - not for my sake, a cold's...
  128. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, mums having a nap and I'm psyching myself up to attack the waste pipe on the washing machine.. lol.. cleared out the filter and ran some limescale treatment through the machine but still stinks.. so.. have to pull it out and have a proper look... not looking forward to that very much...
  129. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Rough night last night - got very cold and restless and very tight-chested as mum's got some lilies and they always affect me really badly - the only flower to give me asthma.. she said to bin them .. lol bless her.. I feel bad about that but can barely breathe despite having taken all the...
  130. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Yep, you were right, and tonight I had another chicken salad and am sure my body is thanking me! There are times right now when I definitely need more than my 3 cd packs a day. My body is definitely very strange! LOL xxx
  131. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, I am glad to be back here at mums again. She looks so much better - her pain is well under control and she isn't even needing her top ups in the night now! So - having had 4 very good nights I am hoping it continues now I'm back until Tuesday.. lol Sis and I had a sort of chat where...
  132. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    thank you :) I'm shocked but very glad to have lost the 3lbs I gained... AND another 8! Am so flippin' tired though and not got half the stuff done this evening as I intended.. lol oh well... still got an hour and half before self-imposed bedtime! I am getting increasingly hacked off with not...
  133. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Trying to update my ticker but it's not working... grrrrr!!!
  134. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, had weigh in a day early and was stunned! 11lbs off in 6 days!! Total lost now is 5st 6 lbs! Both me and my cdc double checked and yep... heading nicely now down to the next "stone" marker... 6 more pounds and I will be into the next one.. so ... another couple of weeks hopefully...
  135. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    went to "Buddies" today having re-driven the Scatter Rally route, and taken photos etc.. and finished work... ate plain chicken breast and plain salad.. not really supposed to "add a meal" but to be honest, I felt I could do with some real food... and am having my 3rd and final pack of the day...
  136. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Yep, she has lots of jollop to take every day.. really mega problem for her though.. had a row with sis today on the phone because I said I wanted to stay a couple more days with mum (this means she wont have to do a 10 day solid run which I know would be very hard on her).. and she copped the...
  137. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Paul,s weight loss journey

    Well done!! Keep focussed and the rest will follow xx
  138. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Thank you - sadly she can't beat it this time.. I've managed to get sis to agree to a "calendar of care" for mum so that we both get to spend as much time with mum, and looking after mum as we can. I have seen how she can fluctuate from one day to the next,... have to tell you though... the...
  139. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    am so tired.. want to say so much.. not sure where to begin or even if I should.. mum worse but better to in some respects.. her and sis argued ... not good.. me and sis getting on better (now she knows I'm not the enemy).. dates arranged for us to share the caring for mum.. life is beginning to...
  140. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Still sticking to the diet 100% Home now and wishing I was still with mum
  141. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Now I'm pissed off because I feel as if I have done something wrong ... have put a warning on my diary name now so as to hopefully avoid upsetting anyone else!! Maybe will "offload" elsewhere... *sigh* See ya
  142. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Sorry, didn't know you had... thought you were a nurse or something.. sorry. She had a very slow cancer before, radiation therapy, it was also in her lymph nodes and she had some of those removed... it was such a long time ago and I really cannot remember what grade but as they made her wait...
  143. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    It sure does my friend, it sure does. xxx
  144. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    No idea what grade it was, it was almost 10 years ago now and long since filed away in memory banks and no, no mastectomy. It makes no difference now anyway. Nothing will change things.
  145. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, been 100% since Thursday and struggling like mad at the moment but holding firm! Picked mum up from hospital yesterday - they were running late and it was 9pm before we finally headed home, bless her.. she is so poorly. We both headed for bed as soon as home and she had a really bad...
  146. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Paul,s weight loss journey

    Hi Paul, sorry been awol for a few days... don't worry about the gain.. get back into your routine again and it will soon come off.. good luck and stay focussed. xx
  147. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Sorry been awol for a few days - it's 2.30am and I am going through my holiday pics so I can show them to mum but not let on I went on Hattie. Mum still in hospital but I am collecting her tomorrow afternoon to take her home again. She sounded loads brighter today and it looks like the pain...
  148. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Mum still in hospital... I'm heading home in the morning and dreading it.. Will update properly tomorrow evening when Hattie unloaded and undercover. Going to be a long day . Will miss Cornwall
  149. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Disaster on the diet front! Mega fail!! Must get back on track!!!!!
  150. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Did 75 miles on Hattie in the rain., but enjoyed it. Went to Jamaica Inn . Frustrated about mum as sis not forthcoming with info so have decided to call hospital again. Rideout planned in morning to lands end which should be fun!! Praying for decent weather!
  151. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Another failed diet day yesterday .... Cake and chicken and biscuits ... Mum admitted to hospital back home and insists I do NOT go back early which I won't but want to... Am so restless due to being sat indoors all day yesterday so off put on Hattie in a little while as rain has stopped at...
  152. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Incredible storm last night! Hope it heralds the end of this crappy weather! Looking at the sky now and i don't think it is ... Oh well. Mad dreams last night about mum and about sis, not good at all. Shed some tears last night and younger daughter sent me text to ask me to listen to...
  153. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Another lovely day- got soaking wet But didn't care as got to see my lively friend Cheryl :) Hopefully going for ride with a guy from the bike club to a couple if places where Bikers meet up :o) Mum not so good today as now on drugs and has had radiation too .. Diet went great until half an...
  154. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    My baking thank you to my friends- first ever attempt at coffee and walnut cake and coconut loaf, they love them :0)
  155. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    ...and... When we got back to the house I spent 3 hours baking! Made my very first coffee and walnut cake plus shortbread, a coconut loaf,and 2doz butterfly cakes. My way of thanking my wonderful friends for letting me come down and stay. K loves the coffee and walnut as it's her favourite...
  156. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Very bad diet day yesterday,,, we went to st Austell and pizza hut !! Bad bad !! But oh sooooo scrummy! I had felt dreadful on journey there as head was splitting and felt like I was going to be sick, even to stop the car so I could swap places with her hubby and me sit in front! When we got to...
  157. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Lol that's ok. Have texted to ask where and when... Just let me know and mr and Hattie will be there xxxx
  158. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Blimey - that's a blast from the past - reading that very first post from - eek - how many years ago?? still - back in the saddle again (diet wise) so hopefully when I see my cdc next week there will be good figures.,.. mind you... from the discussions here with K methinks it would be downright...
  159. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, what a brilliant journey!! Set off in the pouring rain at 7.30am this morning and got here at 5pm FANTASTIC journey. loads of rain and got very cold at one stage but I did it! over 300 miles on Hattie! Love being here and am just off to bed now... will write more tomorrow... stuck to...
  160. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Going to bed now - eyes hurt like mad... not packed yet for my roadtrip.. so... probably up early to do that.. then,. waterproofs on and I am going, on Hattie, on a "Grand Adventure"... not sure if I'll get to update but will try... (have to borrow mates lappy) . Thank you for your lovely...
  161. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Thank you all... for the thoughts, words and advice.. I have spent all afternoon in or close to tears - ridiculous... not cried at all at mums (apart from a wobble in the shops).. and today, waterwork city! I got my bike club orders packaged and posted and also went to see some lovely friends...
  162. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Diet gone completely for a Burton this afternoon... spent the entire drive home wailing and yelling and crying... shouting to the empty car about the unfairness of it all... nothing quite like being told for sure that your mum's got terminal cancer to put you off settling for a spicy tomato...
  163. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, I couldn't settle last night and after a fitful 3 hours kip I got up and have been sat doing bike club number crunching and admin stuff ever since.. mum has been up and down all night too... I just can't imagine what she's going through... might pop up there with a cuppa in a sec as I know...
  164. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well now, it's nearly bed time and I still have not done all my numbers that needed doing.. Mum went back to bed this afternoon and looked a much better colour as a result of a good solid 2 hours kip. Fed her well again.. lol... lush raspberry and vanilla danish pastry mid-afternoon and for...
  165. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Mum snoozing on sofa... she loved her dinner of Confit of duck in a Juniper Berry Sauce served with roast potatoes and peas... followed by posh vanilla ice-cream with prunes.... just after her friend left I served her up some sunflower and honey bread, toasted with melted brie and spring...
  166. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Another boring update - sorry... mum's friend is here now and I have come upstairs out of their way. I have a feeling she doesn't like me very much,... maybe it's just me being paranoid.. lol Need to do these figures today but am so tired.. but I MUST get them done... I emailed my bosses and...
  167. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I actually enjoyed cleaning out her fridge earlier.. it looks like new and I just wish she could look and see it but she's not really up to wandering around... she did love the food I gave her today though.. and she ate lots!! I am really really pleased... tomorrow she's having a yummy duck meal...
  168. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    lol you all Sooooooo don't understand my families dynamics... this is how it works... Sis is first born = daddy's favourite... dad dies... Mum remarries... Sis sulks... sis divorces.. sis travels loads.. sis is screwed over ... sis moves in with mum and stepdad... sis becomes mum's favourite...
  169. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, that's got to be the cleanest fridge in the universe now! Every single bit of it out, washed, bleached shelves, all spotless and back in situ - everything out of date binned and restocked... took me a while but if you're going to do a job, you best do it right or not at all eh!? Also...
  170. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Thanks guys and gals... the rain is returned and mum ate a really good plateful of salmon in the sauce etc... and I did go for the melon with mango yogurt and to make it a bit special, sprinkled some of the bits of honey-nut clusters on top like you would granola... she ate the lot! Now there's...
  171. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, one horrid big shower seat returned to well-meaning and very concerned but oh-so-time consuming friend... new shower seat purchased,.. plumber booked to come and check why shower is flooding (at 2pm) lol... mum downstairs snoozing having had a "surprise treat" of very tasty special oniony...
  172. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    We looked into a stairlift but at £2,000 it's not an option... she refuses to consider having her bed downstairs nor a commode... I understand that.. she asked me this morning why is she so tired.. so I told her, your body is using all of it's energy fighting the nasty stuff inside you, and the...
  173. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Good morning! A better night for both of us last night means we are both awake and I made mum a poached egg on toast for her breakfast.. she looks paler today and in a lot of pain.. yesterday wore her out I think. Her best friend Pam is coming today - hopefully NOT at lunchtime! I might give...
  174. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Almost ready for bed.. and still not done all the things I intended to today... went to Tesco tonight and got some really nice foodie bits for mum and also some treats for sis when she comes. Tomorrow is going to be cleaning day - bathroom and fridge are going to get a thorough clean and when...
  175. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Dog walked, mum snoozing on sofa, and me googling forms for attendance allowance etc... Charlie happy and fed and sun shining! I still have to clean the fridge out thoroughly and also give the bathroom a real good clean... and do some washing - but that's on Sunday's list.. I have got her...
  176. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Busy day so far - been on the phone to try and arrange a "Blue Badge" for mum and then to the other council about assisted rubbish collection, and the plumber as her shower's leaking, been shopping and bought her some yummy things to eat - she really enjoyed the apricot danish I got her... and...
  177. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Is it Friday already?? Disturbed night - mum got up twice and I hadn't realised that's normal for her.. lol but both times I woke up... am having "sympathy pains" in my hip, neck and back" lol (courtesy of lush mattress and big soft pillows)... I love her spare bed though... its all toasty...
  178. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    brrrr... it's chilly tonight... glad I've packed me buff! Here's hoping for a good night's sleep... not just for mum and me and sis, but for all xxxx
  179. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    P.S. My boss rang and told me not to go back to work until I am back from my holiday which means I can head to Cornwall early spearly Tuesday morning and do the journey in one day in the daylight hours and, therefore, come back a day early and not miss out on any time with my darling friends...
  180. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    thanks girls... we were far less clock watching today and at 7.30 I could tell mum was getting uncomfortable so I just said, right... no-one said you have to set your watch by these tablets so have them now and that'll be fine... no being a martyr... and so she's had them and is now up in bed...
  181. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Hi Katie - so sorry that your mum has the dreaded disease too! I know what you mean.. if it was just a day, no worries... but it's not... once my mother and sister get an idea into their heads there is no changing it.. lol... that said... Christmas IS a long way away yet and much can happen...
  182. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Am even MORE pleased now... hospital just rang, she is going to see an oncologist on MONDAY morning! AND at a much more local hospital too! So, I am staying on now.. decision made! Boss agreed, sis not chuffed but hey ho.. tough! Mum delighted we will both be there with her.. and that means I...
  183. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Is it wrong to be excited that mum has her appointment with the Oncologist on Tuesday morning? I am so glad it is so prompt... they said he doesn't work Fridays and so it was a really fast appt... I agree! At last.. things may be moving... I want to go with them but sis seems reluctant for me...
  184. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    In theory that would be perfect but in practice it's not possible on many levels... mum cannot travel as far as my place, the costs of having them come to a plush London hotel for Christmas Dinner would be more than a tad prohibitive... I think I will suggest we (the girls and I ) have a delayed...
  185. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Back from Drs and getting frustrated... sis went into complete control freak mode again... she reminded me what I had to do... and I told her it was ok.. I am a big girl now and I KNOW what I need to do... so.. I am now washing the bedding (my bedding so I can sleep in bed tonight).. and...
  186. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So begins a new day.... mum slept really well, so did sis... I will tonight.. I won't be staying up late... mum goes to bed around 8, and I won't be far behind her... She's in great spirits this morning.. and I am taking her to the hairdresser at midday (not really sure it's a good idea, but...
  187. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Awake again, ridiculous time of day to be awake!! Wish I'd thought to get a pillow, lol but didn't .. Oh well Am still going on holiday next week... But don't feel as excited but think I will when on my way... Can't think straight ...
  188. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    oh Pam, if only it were that simple... lol It would cause too much upset,, so,, instead I am sitting here nodding off at the keys... I can hear her on her phone upstairs! She has no idea how noisy she is!! Saving grace is that mum is zonked out on morphine and has hearing problems so...
  189. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    thank you my friends... I am so tired and cold... but as my sister decided she didn't want to go back to her own home tonight I am delegated to sleeping on the sofa but as she and her fella are sitting on it watching telly... I am sitting on a dining chair waiting for them to enable me to get...
  190. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, there's no denying it now... It's confirmed. Mum has cancer in her upper & lower spine & hip. The tumour in her hip is a secondary from either previous breast cancer or from an unidentifiable new source. She has now been referred as an emergency to an Oncologist and told that she needs...
  191. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, it has arrived... today... Up and at 'em at stupidly early o'clock and who gets up too??? Yep.. Mr Misery... he followed me around as I got ready for my stay at mums... it drives me nuts! In the end I sat down at the table to have my first pack of the day and he made himself some cereal...
  192. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Got home from work (via post office) and had time to bake the ginger biscuits for mum before my friend D arrived. We spent the following couple of hours catching up and it was lovely... we forged our friendship way back in 1987 and have been firm friends ever since... we have had babies...
  193. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, bosses have come up trumps and given me the rest of the week from 10am tomorrow off as a kind of compassionate leave so I don't need to worry about losing money.. I am really touched by that... and it's time now to dash to post office then home and spend some time with my lovely friend D...
  194. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Well, the day is fast approaching and I was up before even the sparrow's began to fart! 4am and I was up, dressed, and have done all my washing, kitchen, dishwasher, bike club merchandise orders, general tidy up, bins out ready for collection and in the office an hour before official start...
  195. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Paul,s weight loss journey

    that's fantastic!! well done you!!! excellent result!
  196. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    thanks all.... had a faaaaaaaaaaaaabulous ride on Hattie - didn't get in until 6pm! I rode to my friend's house and she was ironing so I told her to get her gear on and come out for a ride.. she did! She has 2 bikes too. She chose the 600 Honda that she has and we went for a lovely long ride to...
  197. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    off out on Hattie for a ride to wherever... don't want to go home to Mr Misery ... got all decisive and am now staying at mums from Weds thro' Sunday so Sis can go home for a rest.. and I get to see mum for a good block of time.. have offered to sleep on sofa if sis wants to stay too.. but...
  198. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    can't remember last night's dreams... woke early and decided to head into the office early... just needed to get out of the house and away form HWSNBN's well-intentioned "I am here for you" "You know you can lean on me" "You may not want my comfort but it's here for you" constant comments...
  199. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    What a day today has been... just for a few hours it was fun.. it was filled with friends and sunshine and motorbikes and laughter... only 1 person there on the rideout to the museum knows about mum and he very briefly touched on the subject. I rode on the motorway for the very first time and I...
  200. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    It kinda makes sense but that's just how my brain works... I am always looking ahead.. thinking of all the options etc... sorry.. don't think that's going to change anytime soon, lol... Thanks for the big snuggles though - really appreciated xx
  201. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Ok... well, firstly, welcome to my mad world! Secondly - he's not my oh! The initials stand for HeWhoShallNotBeNamed... because I can't think of a nickname for him... lol He WAS my oh but is just a lodger in my house now in his own rooms .. perhaps I will think of another acronym for him...
  202. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    gosh it's quiet on here... lol sorry if I've killed off any kind of conversation.. but I know it's hard to know what (if anything) to say at such times as these... so it's ok to just be as "normal" (although I don't think I have EVER been that!) as possible.. had a nod off this afternoon...
  203. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    knackered.com home and having a kip..
  204. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Morning all - weird night... dreamt about my dad (he died in 1985) and mum. We (me and mum and sis) were in Australia (never been there) lol, and it was Christmas time.. and mum was laying on a sofa and I was a gardner... top male totty mates apparantly.. I was watering the garden and chatting...
  205. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I'm using mum's laptop as I've decided to stay down here tonight to give my sister the chance to spend the evening with her daughter and sons - they have a celebratory meal planned and it will mean she (sis) won't have to drive back here to mums late tonight unless she really wants to. The...
  206. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Been at work since about 6.30am (not supposed to start here 'til 8) but I woke up early and just couldn't bear to be in the house with HWSNBN hovering over me all the bloody time... I KNOW he means well, but seriously, can I not even get up and go downstairs for a drink without him getting up...
  207. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    well, yet again I have had to do the chasing up - I don't think my sister has a clue as to how frustrating it is to be kept waiting for hours on end for even the smallest bit of news!! She simply handed the phone to my mum! I had to ask where she was and she almost bit my head off and spat...
  208. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Still waiting for news, I've decided that I'm going down there tittle whether they like it or not.! She's my mother too and I just need to see her and find out precisely what is going on!
  209. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    still waiting for more news on mum ... she should've had her biopsy this morning - have heard they have addressed her other "bunged up" problem and things are already moving in the right direction on that one! lol thanks goodness! Now all we need to know is ; what tests have they done, and...
  210. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So - what does today have in store I wonder? well - all things being equal, Sis will have done as she said, I told her to go home and leave word with the nurse to tell mum that she had come but mum was sleeping so she left... I hope she did that... she sounds shattered.. Also... hopefully...
  211. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    we basically set the world to rights, then, my sis rang... mum had been taken to the same hospital that she had spent the entire day in.. and was now waiting, on a trolley, to be seen by a Dr. Sis was told it could be up to 3 hours before she gets seen and even then she might not be kept in! I...
  212. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So, a new day.... well.. I actually have something semi-good to report... I went to see younger daughter and her fella in their new flat last night - lost the plot with my satnav en route and almost pulled over to just get out the car and scream! lol Instead I ranted and raved like a complete...
  213. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    FINALLY got a call from sister - having left 2 texts and a voicemail asking her wtf is going on!! She took mum home from the hospital! Neither asked any questions - so NO information forthcoming, mum supposed to be back there in the morning for a biopsy BUT instead, sis rang mums GP and SHE has...
  214. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Patience is a virtue with which I am not abundantly blessed at times... and this is one such time! I went to my Food Safety course this afternoon and sis rang to tell me mum has been sick all day, at the hospital and had a ct scan and was then having a bone scan... she said the scan would be...
  215. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Thanks, all... was just having a bit of a "pity party" this morning... feeling brighter now - mum will be at the hospital and they will be doing whatever they do... daughters will both be at work... and sister will be with mum... Have done a lot more at work than I anticipated so feel like I...
  216. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Paul,s weight loss journey

    well done on damage-limitation whilst on hols! good effort! those 4lbs will soon be gone again :)
  217. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Daughter still pi$$ed off with me.. no text to say she was ok this morning... as it happens I knew she was because of her facebook updates... but when I texted her this morning I got a lecture on the fact that she lives near shops a McDonalds and a petrol station and that Liverpool trouble was...
  218. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Oh... AND to top it all.... HWSNBN heard the phone conversation and stood and looked at me as if I had 5 feckin heads because I was apperplectic in anger and then stood and stared at me! So I just threw him a real "killer look" and said "WHAT?????" ..... rofl... clearly terrified he scurried...
  219. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    am so stressed out it's unbelievable! Utterly exhausted when I got up yesterday, picked up mum's best mate and drove down to see her... she looks pretty rough and, I thought, a bit yellow but that could be the lighting, my imagination etc etc... Mum seemed pleased to see us but even more so...
  220. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    shattering day... but brilliant too... worrying though... Mum not at all well - sis rang to tell me mum has shivers and lips went blue so 999 and ambulance came... they ummed and ahhed and decided to call out a Dr and mum is still at home but on some morphine-based painkillers and stuck in bed...
  221. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Will expand on that tomorrow , lol xxx
  222. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Time to call it a dayfor now, so tired.. Mum home, tests next week and results on 17th. She talked to me this eve and is pretty low, but still got humour . She has a tumour the size of a golfball onside her hip socket.. Biopsy early next week. Am so tired, so will catch up tomorrow xxx
  223. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Totally and utterly helpless Irene... it's just like when she had the breast cancer... waiting and seeing... hoping... praying.. not knowing... Sister texted to say she is kicking off at the hospital! WOoohooo!! Go sis!!! Hope it achieves something though... doubt it will, they don't tend to...
  224. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Right - am about to sod off home and start getting ready proper for the weekend and everything it entails... Karen - lol I am allowed the chicken and salad (although not in the quantities I have had, but had only 2 packs so not worried)... as for the shared fairy cake - yeah, my bad... lol...
  225. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    well, its been a bizarre kind of day all in all... spent most of the morning in tears.. can't focus on work but tried to.. hardly slept and have been exhausted all day... got to work early.. ended up ringing the hospital as fed up waiting to hear... nurse followed protocol and said she couldn't...
  226. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    dreadful dreadful day.... mum still being sick and hospital told us she has a mass/growth/tumour on her hip/groin... biopsy and bonescan and tests being done over next 2 days... can't believe it... here's me saying it's just a bad hip and a bit of vertigo... and it's not... with her history of...
  227. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Oh, forgot to say, mum went for MRI on her hip today and has ended up as a guest at the hospital as she had a massive vertigo attack and has been chucking up all afternoon! Sis is with her and I have told her if it is life or death I will drop everything and be there in a heartbeat, otherwise I...
  228. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Paul,s weight loss journey

    hey Paul - is all ok? Been a while since we heard anything from you x
  229. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    even more manic since last post.... work is heavy going at the moment but yesterday I went and got a rack and topbox fitted... and it was wonderful... one of the guys at the club fitted and sold it to me... and for a real bargain price too! Afterwards he led me on the way home so we had a brief...
  230. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    WOW! What a weekend! Took over 3 1/2 hours to get to the rally thanks to satnav sending mate through all the town centres... lol but was an incredible ride!! I LOVED it!! Had all day yesterday relaxing and wandering around Tewkesbury and then last night singing and laughing like loonies in...
  231. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Can't wait to go now! Just had a text offering to take all my stuff in a car so I can go on my bike!! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! So - taking my car full of stuff over to me mates G&A and then hoping to dash home, get changed and saddle up! Wooohooo! So - off to the rally on Hattie ...
  232. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    right - what a day! had a lovely ride on Hattie but not far enough really - wish we hadn't had food (I had chicken and salad of course)..as we could've ridden more - but there's always next week! I am getting a top box for Hattie on Monday which will mean I can ride to work every day as I can...
  233. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Overslept! Argh! Hate rushing headlong into the day, but there you have it! I went to the bike club last night and it was packed! Wish I'd gone on bike but hey ho , going out on her this afternoon as a result though - arranged with my lovely mates S & S to meet them for "lunch" at 1pm , on...
  234. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! HWSNBN needs shaking!!! Ages ago he said he wanted a discounted ticket for the bike racing this weekend at Silverstone, and so I passed on his message to the woman who always gives me grief at the club and he confirmed it in an email... NOW, the NIGHT before he is due to...
  235. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Am back down that way for sure on November 17th as it's a special quiz night, so can book me into your schedule and I can call in beforehand.. lol If they have anything else on down there before then and I am going I will definitely let you know! xxxx
  236. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    supposed to be going to see my lovely friend this afternoon and help her with gardening but to be honest, I am shattered... look (and feel) like I've not slept for a month! Belly-ache (I HATE PERIODS!!!) sorry - TMI I know... but I do! I feel so flippin' washed out! Going to pace my afternoon...
  237. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Em's weightloss journey 2013 - Here we go again!!

    WOW! well done that is fantastic news!! Almost there now!! :o)
  238. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Good morning! Am so excited today - my friend has her first weigh-in tonight! I hope it's as good a result as I anticipate - she has stuck to it like glue so it ought to be! Didn't sleep too well last night - TOTM, HWSNBN, spiteful "friend", family issues... all whirling around in my head...
  239. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Paul,s weight loss journey

    Oh well done!!! That's excellent - just 16lbs to go now!! Keep doing what you're doing! it's working!! :D:D
  240. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    I must be mad - have just committed to going to the Isle of Man TT in 2013 with some of my bike club buddies! Where on earth am I going to get that kind of dosh! lol BUT, the way I look at it - I will be 50 in the November of 2013 so it HAS to be a very very special year and I have always...
  241. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    It was the Kings Oak... I had no idea you were so nearby.. when I go next I'll be sure to call in and say hello on my way :D
  242. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Thanks Gen... hope so too.. Am sooo tired.. lol After waking at stupidly early o'clock I spent an emotionally tiring morning and then , thankfully, a physically tiring and highly enjoyable afternoon - not in that sense - but in the way that I drove down to Epping Forest to a bike club lunch...
  243. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    wish I had a weigh-in this week - but only because I want to know how it's going.. I know by the time I do next week it will be good so that's ok... Lots gone on since I last updated... Sunday started way too early with major crisis .. can't say much but, it's going to take some sorting out...
  244. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    well, what a morning it's already turning out to be! Been up for hours, baked some fairy cakes, decorated them and a victoria sponge (now cooling on the rack)... kitchen spick and span, washing all done and a list as long as me arm of work I should do but am thinking "sod it" and may just go...
  245. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Oh yeah!! Come to Looe!!! My mate will LOVE you!! oooh this just gets better and better!! xxxxxx
  246. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Holiday sorted!! Am going down to stay with my mate who lives in Looe! Long way to ride as am going on bike so need to plan route carefully to avoid motorways (don't like them on bike)... and pack very light! (Toughie!) Will be so good to get away and be somewhere hopefully warm, but better...
  247. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    well, if you have been following things on fb you will have seen how things got, but I edited so it's all a bit more dignified lol I don't know Cheryl... how on earth could she possibly think it helped??? I will never ever trust or confide in her again. I have told her to find someone else to...
  248. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Doh! Sorry - got a bit "caught up" with things here ... found out this eve that a so-called "mate" spent her time at the bike club the other night showing HWSNBN the texts and pm's in facebook that I had exchanged with her about him !! Can't believe it! I trusted her! Well - lesson learned...
  249. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    So glad it's weigh-in day... but not so glad that I have to find enough cash to pay for 2 weeks in one hit as cdc is off on hols... so am a tad nervous about the 2 week "unchecked" but... am going to view it as an opportunity to lose LOADS and give us both a mega surprise when she gets back...
  250. FatFairNForty(ish)

    Blergh! - FatFairNForty(ish) - my diary

    Thanks Pam It's been an ok kind of day.. work was good if not a bit distracted.. home and HWSNBN had doused himself in aftershave which he knows I love, and we went to see Harry Potter.. I slept through the first 15 minutes and then woke and saw the rest of it... very good and I am sure there...
Back
Top