Green Days Whats it all about slimming world?

L.i.n.d.a

L.i.n.d.a

Fatgirlwannabeslim
I am nearly 43 and have spent my whole life trying to be slim n beautiful, all to no affect, I would need a personal trainer n nutritionist n chef of the type of all those life changing programmes. I've tried most diet plans, sw is one of the better healthy eating plans but I stop n start according to life's emotional events. I'm vegetarian, obese, have vitiligo and acne on my too large bust, I'm an obese mess of around 19-20 stone... I need a miracle, I don't have support just a bf of 7.5 years who prefers skinny pretty girls and had no problem in reminding me of what I'm not. Don't say leave him because if you know my life you would understand why we are still "together". I studied psychology n English 20 years ago but had an accident and have permanent metalwork in my ankle n leg, I also injured my other ankle in an accident recent times, I have been told a couple of years ago that I most probably had ms due to a change in white spots in my brain after one trigelminal nerve attack that left my eye n head number for a few weeks a few years ago. Never had the lumbar puncture to get a diagnosis as don't believe the crap after working for almost 9 years with the nhs and after the nhs killing my dad through not diagnosing stomach n lung cancer til three days before he died, despite him being treated for very treatable minor bladder cancer for 7 years, my dad was a fit Italian man of 70 , he still worked and was loved by many. He had stomach pain went in hospital was told it was a harmless polyp. He went home n downhill in 2 weeks, list weight jaundice n very I'll, docs rang and said his blood results and biochemistry was very bad n he shouldn't have been discharged, that morning we were told he gad terminal liver n stomach cancer n we forced them to admit to trying treatment on Monday two or three days ahead BUT he died that night with tubes and drips coming out if his neck and doped up so he never spoke. He never knew he was terminal as we never said. My poor darling dad died because the *******s gave him a drug to help him relax according to my two sisters that saw him die as I was home catching some sleep with my mum as we took it on shifts being with him... So after the dreadful phone call from my sister, I zombie walked to see my poor dad in the hospital. This was 4 an half years ago, and my feelings are worse, nothing or no one will make that better, and time does not heal. My poor mum was with him nearly 40 years, she had ill health. Though strong Italian woman, her spirit is also broken. Currently my dads brother n sister are very ill in hospital too...
WHAT HAD THIS ALL GOT TO DO WITH MY WEIGHT you may be asking???EVERYTHING

EMOTIONS N PAIN = comfort n pain through food. I've been bulimic on and off through laxatives since age 17...

I don't have a life or real friends just one main best friend of 25 years
I worry about the world
I worry about my mum
I miss my dad,,,

I sing but never pursued in life
I'm a ugly obese mess

Constantly saying if I don't change this will kill me...

And that's just a touch of the stuff that has happened in my life..

WE ARE DEFINATELY WHAT WE EAT
I'm May go back to sw for the 20th or so rejoin if I can drag myself Thursday...
 
:bighug::bighug::bighug:
Sounds like you badly need things to change and you need some support to help you do it. A group like SW is much better than going it alone if that's what you need and even online you will find lots of helpful people.

How about you try to see weight loss as your chance to prove to yourself that you can do it? That you can overcome some of the horrible things that have happened and come out a stronger person with more confidence? That can be a symbol of the changes you want to make. At the same time it can sometimes be surprisingly scary making such a change - you might feel like you will lose a sort of protection when you lose the weight and the comfort eating. You have to face up to these feelings as well sometimes.

Losing weight can be something you do for yourself, after all your worrying about other people. Yet at the same time it will put you in a better place to support people like your mum if you are able to feel healthier and more confident.

I'd say most of the people on here have eaten for comfort and that's why we're here. I'm finding that it is only through practice and experience that I'm learning that the feeling you get from losing weight is much better than the temporary comfort you might get from a pot of ice cream. Achieving something so important is a long-term positive whereas chocolate is only temporary. When those short-term fixes come up, keep thinking about your future slimmer self and how much easier certain parts of life will be to cope with then. Not everything, but some things.

The lady who won Woman of the Year at SW this week turned to comfort eating when she lost her father, too. You can do it.

It does sound like you're in a really low place, so do try to find a nice supportive group, come on here when you need help, and if you are really struggling even talk to your doctor. It sounds like you've had a lot to deal with and even talking to a counsellor for a few sessions might help you sort some things out in your head and give you a place to move forward from. Good luck.
 
I would suggest seeking external help for depression. All of this is momentous and you can't look after your weight until you are psychologically able to do so. There is a lot of blame and bitterness about your dads death and you need to address this and your grief and your fears. If you feel isolated then seek company, if that's not possible I strongly feel you should see your doctor and start trying to lay some elements of your past to rest.
 
Thank you for your kind words, I've tried counselling but unfortunately having studied psychology I saw through all the methods and realised there were no answers. Simply theories that you can choose to follow or not. I find it easy to help others and I'm not religious though raised a catholic, I'm spiritual now and enjoy practices like kundalini yoga. I even joined a gym 6 months ago but due to injury which included all classes such as kunda, body pump, Pilates, legs bums n tums etc, full use if the gym with a personalised programme and the swimming pool at three centres...it began with energy and died a death... It was expensive too, I have tried most methods but the pain is deeper than deep and a lifetime of such sticks...if u saw the pictures of me in here which I put up with difficulty you'd see what I meant. Complete state that only through a miracle n plastic surgery can fix!... Hark at me selfish ***** when more than 10.000 people have lost their lives in that typhoon... Don't worry folks I don't spout my crap out loud, just spill it here... Good luck to all those struggling on whichever way ?
 
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I found myself sitting here nodding in agreement when you said time is not a healer. For me, time is just a distraction. I really feel for you. You and only you have the power to change your life. It's such a hard thing to do. One that i struggle with on a daily basis...baby steps all the way. Hang in there and never give up. x
 
Indeed and when strength is lacking that motivation is invisible. Rejoined sw and have used all weeks syns already in 2 nights. Empty calories for empty situ..starting weigh in was 19.9 exactly as it was when joined in June this year lost 1 stone 1 pound then left n put it back after wasting several weeks not doing plan. Very simply I'm the only one putting the food in my mouth where is my self control gone, think it partnered my self esteem and buggered off ?
 
On the one hand you can recognise all this and on the other you self sabotage. I can totally identify with that. I would always know what I was doing and how it was wrong but I wouldn't stop. Not couldn't. Wouldn't. I think there was an element of self loathing and thinking I didn't deserve to be happy so I ruined myself, for me and for everyone. Losing a parent, at whatever age (I was 15) is damaging and more than that brings your own mortality home. For too long I was convinced that people would leave anyway so I made myself unloveable through food. For me Hypnotherapy worked as my issues had manifested in an eating disorder. You say that because you studied psychology you see through therapy but what if, maybe you didn't? If you gave something a try with an open, fresh and non-analytical mind. I never truly believed that someone could change my way of thinking but I was willing to try. Maybe some reconsidering, some acceptance that you deserve to be happy and some will power will go a long way hand in hand.
 
Lickthelid, I've felt really similar things myself for a long time. I've had emotional issues wrapped up in food, dieting and my appearance for a long time. I've had the feeling of not deserving to be happy cos of my weight for a long time, as well as using food and then dieting as a way of trying to solve my problems. It has only really been since having my son that my attitude is changing. It's been a combination of finally admitting I need some help so taking the meds and getting the support I need, as well as realising that my son loves me unconditionally for the person I am. This has helped me to realise I am a loveable person and am worthy of being happy.

As with everything in life, losing weight or overcoming emotional and mental health problems, the only person who can help you is you and you and you can't force yourself until you're ready and in the right place to do it.
 
First weigh in only half pound off ... Didn't follow plan til last day.. Haven't got my mojo yet ???
 
Same! Did plan properly for one day before weigh in, and I lost half a pound. I'm glad I went though, it's given me a kick up the bum! Well done on your loss, I'm sure your mojo will be back soon! xx
 
This mojo guy can be a hard chap to find

He was here this morning, and here a lunchtime, but by nightime he always seems to
go to bed before me !

:giggle:
 
Despite being Unwell went to get weighed only didn't stay to group as missed first week weigh in and not wanting to lose my way completely. So was 19.13 and in 2 weeks lost 5 lb am now 19.8..as has happened many times in my life..oh well 5 needed off til next stone bracket.. Good luck everybody *
 
Hi Anna is because I've uttered those words more times then I've inhaled in my life... It's a roundabout type story .. I jump on .. Do ok... I jump off... Fully aware throughout but emotion holds this puppets strings...
 
I feel your pain with losing your dad, I lost my grandad a few yrs ago and it still upsets me to think of him. He had a mild stroke went into hospital and never came out. The week before he died we were told he had too much calcium in his body and they needed to do more tests. 2 days before he died we were told he had progressed stomach cancer and he was too weak for them to treat it now. I knew this was coming because I googled too much calcium and it said cancer! Why didn't they know this!?!

Time will not heal. But you can learn to live with the pain, but you need to work on pulling yourself out of the grief hole. Stop being so Bl**dy hard on yourself, if you don't believe you can do it then you won't. Your not giving yourself a chance. You are predicting your future by what has happened in the past.

Get yourself a diary and get all these feelings out. Even if you feel you can't speak with someone just getting them out and on to paper can help. You lost 5 lbs but your not happy cause you've done it before and put it back on. Well this time will be different. You need to be proud that even though you've done it the past you are brave enough to try again. Your mum needs you and for you to be there for her you need to be there for yourself. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
 
So why the hell did I have a large papa johns veggie pizza tonight with some wedges... I feel sick :-(
 
You cam see from my name that I am a typical yoyo dieter, I have been dieting since I was 12 and im still fat lol, its all about will power!

I had a pretty crappy childhood, stuff I wont go in to but it was rubbish, then spent 3 years with a druggy and stuck in a dead end job but got myaelf out of that!!

It seems like you are so down on yourself that you are willing yourself to not lose the weight, hiding behind everything and putting that to blame but at the end of the day it is only you who can lose the weight!

I see it like this, we cant predict what will happen in life, finances, jobs, love life anything really, the only one true thing we can rely on is what we put in our mouths, I am the only person who made myself fat, I cant blame that on anyone else but me and I have come to understand that now.

So what you had a pizza, I hope you enjoyed every last bite, I know I could devour one right now (and I might do tomorrow night) but uou just have to draw a line under it and start anew! Give yourself a treat once a week, I usually have a blow out with the family on a saturday but then back on it Monday, dont be so hard on yourself, you will get there, I know its hard but lift your chin up and say 'I can do this' (god I sound like some self help guru lol)

Sorry for the long old reply and I hope I didnt sound mean but this is all that life has taught me and I think I might actually be getting my head around it this time!!

Xxxxxxx
 
I totally sympathize with you about emotional eating. From May 2010 to November 2011 my husband was diagnosed with skin cancer, our 18-year-old nephew passed away, my parents divorced, my husband was hospitalized with bacterial meningitis, my grandfather passed away, my husband had shoulder surgery and missed three months of work, and our oldest son was diagnosed with Type 1 (juvenile) diabetes. To say our world turned upside down would be an understatement. I coped with it by eating and over the past three years I have gained 70 pounds. :( That's one of the many reasons I'm here - to learn to cope with stress without overeating. Wishing you the best of luck. *HUGS*
 
I totally understand where you're coming from and I am a complete emotional eater too. I've had so many things that I've worried about the last couple of years, my dad's terminal illness, redundancy and the worry of losing the roof over mine and the kid's heads and the loss of a friend and more recently the loss of my cat which a lot of people wouldn't understand "it's only a cat" but it really knocked me sideways. After losing a fair amount of weight my weight began creeping back up and I can see it happening but feel powerless to stop it. I'm joining SW for the first time ever on Wednesday, it really did make a difference to me when I had got my weight down last time, I feel so much more positive and able to deal with stuff and I'm hoping to start losing again and to regain that feeling. I wish you every luck in your weight loss. Life is such a journey and we never know what is going to be thrown at us but I really believe that in gaining control in that one aspect of life helps you to cope with everything else. Good luck, if you fall off occasionally don't beat yourself up about it, just get back on the next day and carry on xx
 
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